


The Renegade

by PoeticAnt44



Series: The Mercenary [1]
Category: Elder Scrolls, Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim
Genre: Blood and Violence, Canon-Typical Violence, Child Dovahkiin | Dragonborn, Dragonborn (Elder Scrolls), Eventual Romance, Explicit Language, Explicit Sexual Content, F/M, Falling In Love, Family, Family Bonding, Family Issues, Friends to Lovers, Hurt/Comfort, Love, Masturbation, Nudity, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Prostitution, Romance, Sex, Sexual Content, Skyrim Main Quest, Slow Build, Some Humor, Teen Romance, Teenagers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-23
Updated: 2020-12-03
Packaged: 2021-03-07 00:46:40
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 28
Words: 134,571
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26058193
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PoeticAnt44/pseuds/PoeticAnt44
Summary: Vorstag, a mercenary from Markarth, spends his days drinking, fighting for sport, and sleeping with women.  But he's not a bad guy, perhaps a bit moody sometimes and he likes the ladies a bit too much, but he's content.   When he finally lands a job, it's simple until he stumbles on to a girl and mage woman fighting for their lives.  Not one to work for free, he wasn't such a jerk to leave them to their fates.Lucinia may have been sheltered most of her life, but she's a talented mage, if not a bit snarky.  Her new favorite pastime is to rib Vorstag in an attempt to push him out of his brooding.  She eventually wears him down and he realizes perhaps she's pretty fantastic.Anaka, a 14-year-old and the Dragonborn knew Vorstag was part of her destiny. She and the mage hire him to take them to High Hrothgar to see the Greybeards.  They know are out of their depth alone in the dangerous world of Skyrim. Anaka finds absorbing dragon souls isn’t all that happens.  The violence of the souls affects the girl physically and mentally.  Will it change her?  Will she be able to defeat Alduin?  Lucinia and Vorstag will do whatever they can to protect Anaka and perhaps find an unexpected closeness with one another.
Relationships: Female Dovahkiin | Dragonborn/Original Male Character(s), Original Female Character | Vorstag (Elder Scrolls), Vorstag (Elder Scrolls) | Original Female Character
Series: The Mercenary [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1954447
Comments: 149
Kudos: 85





	1. The Mercenary

**Author's Note:**

> I want to give a special thank you to [Vokunkendov](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Vokunkendov/pseuds/Vokunkendov) and [Solstice Sweetheart](https://archiveofourown.org/users/solstice_sweetheart/pseuds/solstice_sweetheart) for their keen eyes and helping me sludge through this story, my baby.
> 
> Yes, this story has become my baby. I've worked especially hard on this one, paying attention to grammar, structure, emotions, etc. This story is also written in Vorstag's POV. I know he's not on the top of the list in the fandom compared to the likes of Vilkas and Brynjolf, but I like him, especially after I overhauled his appearance with my NPC mod. I just had to give him a story. He's been silent long enough!
> 
> Now normally I do crappy fanart, but I'm mojoed out. I can barely look at a paintbrush right now. Instead, I have posted some screenshots of Vorstag, Lucinia and Anaka as I see them to give you an idea of what they look like in my head.
> 
> I do hope you enjoy his snarky, broody personality.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Vorstag lives a life of monotony between the bar fights and drinking. He's finally able to snag some work worth a lot of gold and break the boredom. Killing a bunch of bandits is nothing. When his job is done and heading home, he comes across a bleeding girl and a mage trying protect her. But the mage isn't strong enough. Vorstag chooses to do the right thing and save the woman and girl. Little does he know that his world is about to be turned upside down.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading! Vorstag probably isn't the most popular, but I tried to make him interesting and likable. I wanted to do a character that was different. The Dragonborn in this story is a young teen girl, also for something a bit different.

Stars exploded in his vision with numbed shock before the pain spread through his face, nearly blacking out. There wasn’t a chance to wipe the blood dripping from his nose as he blocked the next punch, sending his opponent a firm lower jab into the ribs. He knew the punch made its mark, hearing the man’s groans, bringing a smile to his face. Then he threw a left hook into the Breton’s face, watching him fall to the ground. Pain shot up his arm. He shook his hand and wiggled fingers, making sure nothing broke. 

“You owe me a hundred Septims, Cosnach,” Vorstag said, helping the fallen man up.

“You cheated.”

“You’re drunk.”

“I can’t argue with that,” Cosnach said. He tossed Vorstag a sack of coins who caught it with one hand.

“Do you two have to fight all the time? You do this three times a week,” Frabbi, the innkeeper, complained, but the woman always complained. Her husband, Kleppr, was the victim of her verbal assaults most of the time. Any man who was a man worried about Kleppr. 

“Ah, we’re just blowing off steam. Besides, I need to win my coin back,” the Breton explained, rubbing his bruising jaw.

“And Cosnach keeps losing,” Vorstag said, his voice was nasal as he pinched his nose to stop the bleeding. “Damn, I’m going to bruise. Nothing like black eyes to attract the ladies.” He looked down and saw fresh blood all over his tunic. “Dammit! Have you any idea how hard it is to get blood out?”

Frabbi, tired of cleaning up the blood from their sparing, tossed a rag at Vorstag. “I don’t feel sorry for you in the least. You all clean up the blood! I’m sick of it! It’s bad enough I have to clean up Cosnach’s vomit every weekend.”

“Hey! I don’t vomit every weekend. Okay, maybe every other weekend. I have what you call a high tolerance for alcohol.”

“No, you’re a drunk,” Vorstag scoffed.

“When you’re right, you’re right,” Cosnach laughed, slapping the mercenary on the back. 

Vorstag used the rag to wipe the blood off his face and ordered a drink instead of cleaning. The long pull of cold ale was refreshing after a good fight, stifling a belch. Drinking was something he was doing too much of lately but enjoyed the warm buzz after the fourth ale. What else was there to do but waste away in this godforsaken city? He slammed the bottle on the counter, the innkeeper handing him another.

“You’ve been around for a while, Vorstag,” Kleppr said. The man never seemed to care how much the men drank or fought, unlike his wife, as long as they paid for their drinks.

“Mercenary work isn’t all it’s cropped up to be. I thought moving to Markarth would bring more work, being a big city and all with little competition, but apparently not. I was hoping to get some work from the Jarl, but he’s refusing to dispatch men to the front lines. Do you think it’s because of the Forsworn threat?”

Kleppr scoffed, “Please. Those savages are no match for us. The Jarl is just biding his time.”

“Biding his time for what? Until another person is lying dead in the streets? Don’t be naïve.”

The Reach had a serious Forsworn problem and the mercenary wanted some work to help keep them at bay, but the Jarl was ignoring the issue. The Forsworn fought for ages to reclaim what they believed was theirs, the Reach, including Markarth. Sometimes they would send assassins to stir up trouble, all the while the Jarl paid the guards to keep it quiet and his people under control. Kleppr dismissed the Forsworn as pests, but Vorstag fought them before. Despite their tribal nature, the Forsworn were formidable, excellent at magic. The mercenary had concern for any traveler unfamiliar with the Reach that crossed paths with the Forsworn.

Vorstag was a soldier once upon a time, disillusioned with authority who were not only clueless but couldn’t care less about their men. He left the army after two years, refusing to reenlist. Soon he grew to lose respect for all authority, choosing to live his life how he saw fit and damned the rest. For years, he was a well-known mercenary, making good coin, but things had slowed down the past year with too many new mercenaries moving in. The move from Solitude where jobs were competitive to Markarth seemed like a good idea two years ago. Now he drank, fucked, and fought Cosnach. At least life was predictable, though he could stand a change once in a while.

“How about a song, Ogmund!” Vorstag yelled out to the local Bard.

“Piss off,” the bard grunted, already drunk.

“Asshole.”

Vorstag knew Ogmund would barely stand later in the evening from drink, bellowing out songs for the drunken crowd as he did each evening. Tonight would be no different. Life in Markarth was hard—Markarth had a lot of drunks. The people pissed away their hard-earned Septims on drink and forgot how hard life was, only to start all over again each day. It was a vicious cycle and one Vorstag took part in too often. Nothing ever changed.

He ordered another ale and ambled over to a chair by the fire. It wasn’t the cold or a need to warm his toes—screw the fire. What he needed was someone to warm his bed tonight. The brunette was new in town, a tiny thing, Breton. Maybe she would be game for a little fun. Not one to commit to the ladies, Vorstag did enjoy them entirely too much. Women were a mystery, their bodies to be worshiped. He loved women, just not enough to commit to any of them.

“You work at the Hag’s Cure. Muri, right?” Vorstag asked.

“Uh, yes,” the girl answered, sipping her wine, not looking at him. In fact, she was avoiding his eyes altogether. _She’s obviously not interested_.

The mercenary shrugged and dragged his chair in closer to talk. “I’m Vorstag,” he said, thrusting his hand to shake hers. “I’m what you’d call a soldier of fortune. Make me an offer, and I just might fight on your side, or fall into your bed. Well, the bed thing I am willing to do for free.” 

“Oh, dear,” she said, blushing, ignoring his proffered hand. 

“I’m only teasing... didn’t mean to make you blush.” But the mercenary meant it, and he enjoyed very much making women blush. He played it off since she seemed astounded at the very suggestion of sleeping with him, but he knew that already. He was a good-looking guy, liking his long red hair, and the ladies liked it—usually. Vorstag was tall, and he kept himself fit. He liked to think of himself as an above-average yet typical Nord. What was not to like? So maybe he wasn’t Mr. Charming all the time, if ever.

You said you’re a mercenary?” the Muri asked, her eyes darting his way as if forcing herself to be brave and look at him.

“I am. I will do almost any job for the right price,” he said, crossing his fingers that the girl would at least hire him if she wouldn’t fuck him.

She nodded, her hands fidgeted on her lap. “Well, I could use your help.”

“Oh yeah? What’s the job?” the mercenary asked and felt that familiar thrill with the potential of earning some gold. Even if the job was easy, it would cure him of the monotony, at least for a while, and put gold in his pocket.

Muri leaned in, not wanting others to hear. He watched her face go from demure to vicious, blinking twice to make sure he saw the sudden shift of emotions. “I have done the Black Sacrament thing on someone and they never responded. Do they even exist anymore?”

Vorstag shrugged, not caring one way or the other. “Well, it’s not as if I’m an assassin or anything.”

“Anyway, what I need is for Alain Dufont to die! I want him hunted down and murdered like the dog he is!” 

“That’s a little vague, honey. Can you give me more information other than ‘the man needs to die?’”

Her face flushed, but she pressed on. “I didn’t know it when we were with each other, but it turns out Alain is the leader of a band of cutthroats—bandits. They’re holed up in some old dwarven ruin called Raldbthar. It’s near Windhelm. They use it as their base and where they stage their raids. I want you to go there, find Alain Dufont, and kill him. I don’t care about his friends. Do whatever you want with them. But Alain has to die!”

Vorstag tried not to roll his eyes. He had a hard time imagining this little Breton had a run-in with bandits and came out unscathed. But who was he to say? He needed the work, a cure for boredom while getting paid. 

“Look, I hate bandits as much as the next person, but this is a lot of work for just one guy. What’d he do? Kill your dog? Trample on your flowers?” Vorstag asked, laughing at his own stupid joke, as he took a long swig of his ale. 

The Breton moved a hand to her stomach, rubbing it with affection. It didn’t take a genius to figure out the problem. 

“Ah... got it.”

“So, you’ll do it?” Muri asked, eager hope in her eyes, pleading.

Vorstag shrugged. “Sure, I’ll do it.”

The woman sure could change moods with a blink of an eye, going from relief to anger again. 

“There’s more to the story. I went to Windhelm to see the Shatter-Shields, old and dear friends in mourning. Friga was killed recently, murdered. I met Alain in the tavern while I was drinking my sadness away. He was handsome, charming. He said I was the ‘beautiful lily’ of his dreams. Alain made all the pain go away. But it was a lie! Alain used me, ruined my name, destroyed my friendship with the Shatter-Shields. Do you know why he was in Windhelm? He heard about Friga’s murder and wanted to befriend the family in their grief to rob them blind. Alain used me to get close to my friends. Now they all think I’m some kind of monster! Alain Dufont took my life and now I’m taking his.”

The mercenary wondered how such a cute thing ended up in such a mess. At least she elaborated on her story and now had a clearer picture of who he was dealing with. The bandit wasn’t just any thug. Alain was smart, a con. 

“There is more,” she said.

“More? Shor’s ass.”

“I want you to kill Nilsine Shatter-Shield too.”

Vorstag’s eyebrow cocked as he tended to do when he tried to hide his shock. “Why must she die? Isn’t killing Alain enough? There’s no need to make it bloodier than it needs to be, does it?”

“Don’t you see? I was like a daughter to Tova and a sister to Nilsine and Friga. But the family refuses to believe my innocence, no matter what I say. Couldn’t they understand that he used me? I was grieving for Friga too! Instead, they treated me like garbage, threw me away. With Nilsine dead, Tova will realize what she’s lost, hmm? Then she’ll see that I was just as much a daughter as the others. If not, may she drown in her own tears.”

Vorstag shook his head. This woman was nuts. Muri wanted him to murder a family member she claimed to love to get back into the family? She was not only insane but made him doubt the legitimacy of her story. 

“Okay, let’s get one thing clear. I am not the Dark Brotherhood. Bandits, I can deal with and while I may not be the most scrupulous of men, I don’t kill innocent women and children.” He may have been a bastard, but he tried to maintain some small amount of integrity. He wasn’t a complete asshole. Well, he was, but he was no murderer of innocents.

Muri looked down, misery in her eyes, or was it disappointment? He wasn’t sure if it was because he wouldn’t do the second job, or if there was remorse for wanting the other woman dead. “Very well. Just... deal with Alain then. I will pay you well.”

 _Time for haggling_ , he thought.

“Half upfront. Eastmarch is a long way from here, and I have to rent a horse, buy supplies.”

She handed him a sack full of Septims. “I have been saving for a long time to do this. That is four hundred Septim. You will get the other half when you return.”

“Done,” he said, pocketing the coins. Vorstag hid his excitement. He had to maintain his rugged, brooding mercenary look. It was about time he got some work.

“Thank you,” Muri said, leaving.

“You didn’t finish your drink,” he yelled out, but she didn’t hear him, or chose to ignore him. He shrugged and tossed back the rest of her wine.

 _Crazy woman_ , he thought to himself. She may have been nuts, but she was paying. Vorstag sipped his ale and looked up to see a beautiful woman ambling his way. He had the beginnings of a smile, seeing the lust in her eyes. _Oh, this will be a good night—a job and sex_.

“Hello,” she said.

“Hello back.”

Vorstag hid behind a large boulder as he scoped out the ruins in front of him, excited they were of Dwemer. He always found the Dwemer interesting. While he enjoyed reading about the ancient people and their culture, his interest was more about all the goodies they left behind. He smiled that he not only had a paying job, but there were artifacts he could sell when he finished his mission. Dwemer artifacts were in high demand since so few people dared to venture deep into the ruins. They were dangerous places with traps and metal creatures that still roamed the ancient halls, even after thousands of years. It was another reason he chose Markarth to settle in—the city being like no other in Skyrim.

Only three bandits patrolled the outside, he observed. While it wasn’t too many to deal with, he noted the ruins sloped upward with steep steps. If they saw him, it would be nothing for the bandits to pick him off with arrows. While he preferred fighting melee, some situations called for stealth. He killed the three bandits with his bow from afar before they even noticed him. Now the front entrance was free to climb and enter the ruin.

If what Muri explained to him was true, that Alain used and conned her, the man would be smart. Vorstag already knew that since the bandit leader used the Raldbthar ruins as a base. Dwemer ruins were sometimes full of traps, which kept the curious out. So the mercenary not only needed to deal with the bandits but also dangerous traps if he was unlucky. 

The area was free of enemies as he walked in. The gate leading further in was in flames from a trap set. Vorstag laughed under his breath, seeing the Skeever cooking in the fire. _That’s one way to roast dinner_. The acrid stink of burnt fur was disgusting, though, turning his stomach. With his two-handed sword unsheathed, he had it ready as he snuck around looking for a way through the ruins. In his youth, his heart would hammer in his chest, palms sweating. Now he was well-seasoned, and it took a lot to make him nervous, his heart rate steady.

The chatter was loud as the voices echoed off the ancient stone walls. The bandits were complacent, comfortable in their fortress. A peek around the corner told Vorstag there were about four bandits in a make-shift kitchen eating. Four he could handle. He swung his sword back and forth, tauntingly when he entered. The bandits over-reacted, bloodlust in their eyes.

“We will gut you,” said dumbass bandit one.

Vorstag scoffed. “Can’t you guys come up with something more original?”

“Die!” said stupid banidt two.

“Not much better—”

He loved being right all the time. Taunts always worked on the foolish as they lunged at him in their anger. Anger was good; it caused mistakes. Plus it was fun to provoke them. He thrust his sword, ducked, cut, swung, hacked, and slashed until they all laid there dead or dying. A gurgling noise came out of one dying man, Dumbass, as Vorstag penetrated his throat with his sword to put him out of his misery. He had no problem killing, but he wasn’t one to let others suffer. He wiped the blood off his sword on the man’s breeches and moved further in. _Don’t let the goodies distract you._ He turned away from the glowing red orb wrapped in a band of gold, pressing forward. _I’m coming back for you, beautiful_ , he pined, still trying to avoid the orb as he walked past.

Vorstag scoped the area and saw there were two ways to reach Alain and the other bandits. One way was the long way around where he would have to face them in melee combat. That was well and fine but the other way had him grinning at the thought, the excitement already coursing his veins. If he could bypass the locked gate, the mercenary could use the large Dwarven crossbow mechanism to kill. The image of firing large bolts into his enemies made him almost giddy. 

After eight frustrating tries and several lock picks later, he finally opened the gate. He looked around a pillar and could see five bandits below the ledge, one of them being Alain Dufont, who matched Muri’s description. The man was attractive enough, well dressed, blonde, cropped hair. The mercenary could see how Muiri was easily duped. Crouched, Vorstag headed towards one of the large crossbows, inserted a bolt from the pile on the ground, aimed and fired. He shot a bandit, the force of it sending his body flying against the stone wall, pinning him like a giant insect specimen. The rest of them scattered like roaches to light. _Oh, I have to get one of these_ , he thought, laughing as he fired another round.

He killed one more before the rest of the bandits ran up the flight of steps straight towards him. Vorstag grinned, swinging his sword in wide arcs, taunting. His blows were ruthless as he killed off the last two bandits, one of them missing a head, leaving him and Alain alone, measuring each other. Vorstag swung his sword with graceful movements, showing off.

“Muri says ‘hi,’” the mercenary said, making his stance, ready to face off with Alain and get paid.

“She’s got more strength than I gave her credit. I must admit, I miss the lovely girl, as stupid as she is,” Alain said, with a crooked smile, cocky. 

Vorstag continued to swirl his sword, ready for an attack as they circled each other like wolves to prey, looking for weaknesses, assessed strengths. Quips and banters replaced the snipping and snarling. Vorstag might have liked the guy if he wasn’t a murdering asshole and his job wasn’t to kill him.

“I can’t argue with you there. She’s a little crazy too, but she pays well.”

“Indeed,” Alain laughed and lunged at Vorstag while blasting him with a ball of flames. 

A curse escaped his lips at Muri for not telling him that Alain was also a mage. Vorstag rolled out of the way just in time and sensed the heat fly past him. He could smell something burning and hoped it wasn’t his beloved red hair, resisting the urge to touch it.

“Poor mercenary. Did Muri not tell you?” the bandit asked. 

Vorstag’s surprise intermingled with irritation after almost being burned to death. “Yeah, she left that part out,” Vorstag admitted, shrugging. “I will just have to ask for more Septims once you’re dead.” There it was, the anger Vorstag pushed out of the man. Even smarter bandits were easy to bait. 

“Ha! I would like to see you try!” Alain’s voice may have been filled with humor, but it laced with menace, his eyes murderous.

“Well, your men are all dead, so—”

Vorstag dodged another fireball, ready for it, but rolled towards Alain. He needed to get close to the man, risk getting hit by magic, or else he couldn’t kill him. He couldn’t spend his entire time on the defensive. They clashed swords, scraping metal against metal. They were face to face, both smiling as if to see who was the bigger bastard. _Definitely Alain,_ Vorstag thought., dodging the mage’s strikes. The mercenary had to admit the mage was strong, but he knew he would be—prepared for it. His experience taught him underestimating an opponent could get him killed. He shoved the Breton off as they clashed swords once more. His swings with the great-sword may have been slower compared to Alain’s long sword, but the mercenary’s blows were teeth-jarring.

He could hear his own scream echoing through the ruins, fire scorching his arm. The pain seared through him and now he knew what that Skeever felt like. _I’m done fucking playing games with this asshole_ , grunting in his head, making his stance. He gritted his teeth through the pain, the sweat stinging his wound. With added adrenaline, he pushed himself through it. Now to throw the bandit off-balance.

“Muri is pregnant,” Vorstag said. He was out of breath as they cut and thrust with their swords.

“So, why should I care?”

“It’s yours.”

“Horker shit!” Alain spat out, using another flame spell, but Vorstag wasn’t about to be burned again, dodging out of the way. 

“Not shit—a baby.” The mercenary spoke slowly as if Alain was some child just learning to speak. A little condescension to add to the off-balancing. His words had the desired effect as it threw the bandit leader off, confusion on his face. 

“Wait!” he shouted as Vorstag came down on him, forcing Alain to block and land hard on a knee.

“Why should I wait? She paid me to kill you. I enjoy being paid.”

“Is it really mine?”

“What the fuck do you care? You’re a bandit con-artist who ruined her life.”

“But—”

“What the fuck? Do you seriously think you can walk into Muri’s life again now that you know she has your baby, after what you did to her? Are you just now turning into a good man who wants to take care of her?”

“And why not?” Alain grunted against the increasing pressure the mercenary applied to him. “I liked her enough, I just—”

“She’s better off without you,” Vorstag said as he swung his massive sword, decapitating the man. 

“Asshole,” he spat out. 

He sat down on one of the bandit’s bedrolls by the fire as he dug in his bag. Vorstag pulled out a potion, some strips of cloth, and a bottle of brandy. _I really need to get better armor. This leather crap isn’t nearly protective enough_ , he thought, yanking off his gauntlet, tossing it in irritation to the ground. He pulled out the cork on the potion with his teeth, spitting it out, and drank its contents. He could sense the potion taking effect, easing his pain. Next, he took a long sip of brandy and poured some on his burn, groaning. “Fuck!” The brandy felt like acid on his skin, burning him more, but it would help keep the wound clean. He then wrapped it in bandages. 

“What a dick,” he muttered.

Once Vorstag felt better thanks to the potion, he started poking around the area, looking for ancient trinkets to sell in the market in Windhelm. On his way out, he grabbed the red orb thingy, shoving it into his bag. There was no point in selling artifacts in Markarth, which was flowing with Dwemer crap. With his bag heavier, he strapped it on and headed out of the ruins to Windhelm.

The storm was a surprise as it hit him full force when he exited the ruins. He reached for his cloak tied to his rented horse, bundled himself up, hopped on the mare and trotted off to the great Nord city. He could stay at Candlehearth Hall, get some drinks, and a wench if he made enough gold. Nothing like drink and sex to work off the pent up energy of fighting bandits.

The woman squealed in delight, loud enough to make his ears ring as he tossed her over his shoulder, smacking her bottom. Vorstag hauled her up to his room, ready for a night of fun. He put the wench down a bit too rough, sandwiching her body between him and the wall. Her breasts were large and plump as he groped them. His lips were aggressive on her mouth as they kissed. Their tongues explored, tasting the wine on her mouth. He wobbled back and almost fell on his ass from too much ale as she pushed him onto the bed. He was dizzy from drinking, the room spinning, laying back, eager for her. Thoughts of the wet warmness of her mouth swallowing his cock whole had him drooling.

“I hope you can get it up,” she said.

He huffed at the woman. Scoffed at her. “It takes a lot more than what I had tonight to cause problems.” His words came out slurred, but confident he could still get it up.

The wench yanked off his boots, breeches, and smalls, then watched her get naked. He grabbed for her and almost fell off the bed. Her mouth was warm, tangy from the wine when she kissed him. The mercenary smiled in her kissing mouth because his cock hardened, wanting to tell her he told her so. He moaned as her lips trailed down his body, knowing what was in store for him. Yeah, that wet mouth knew what it was doing, sucking him. He loved the feeling, but it also made him relaxed, too relaxed— _no, don’t sleep_. He started to doze and shook himself awake, which did nothing as he lost consciousness.

Vorstag woke up the next morning, eyes unfocused, head pounding as soon as he moved. _Too much to drink last night, dammit. I have to stop doing that_. Shit! What a waste of gold and didn’t even get his blowjob. His head was throbbing, but so was his cock. It only took minutes as he came all over his hand, messy, but relieved. The orgasm pushed the headache away, but it was fleeting before it returned.

After he cleaned up, he did a thorough search in his pack, pulling out a similar bottle from the day before and downed it. The pain in his head ebbed. A sudden pang of panic hit, realizing he was knocked out with a wench in his room, rummaging through his pack again. The gold was still there, minus what he owed her for a limp dick. _I definitely need to cut back on drinking,_ he groaned _._

It was early afternoon when he left Windhelm to head back to Markarth and his payment. It was a profitable job between his payment and selling the Dwemer artifacts. The merchant didn’t know what to do with them, but they were intrigued enough and hoped some nobles would want to buy them. Vorstag replenished his healing potions and bought some food for his journey home.

The day was frigid, but at least it stopped snowing as he trotted out of town on his rented mare, following the long road back to Markarth. Maybe his luck was changing, hoping to get more jobs. If he saved up enough money, he was thinking about buying a small house, or maybe a flat would be cheaper. He was tired of living at Silver-Blood Inn. The women were plenty, and the drinks were flowing, but he needed privacy now and again, some quiet away from the drunken noise and horrible singing from the drunken bard. 

The scream was high-pitched, female. Vorstag alert, looked around to see if he could find its source, but he couldn’t see anyone from where he was. Since he didn’t hear it again, he shrugged and moved on. But he heard it again, louder, different, coming from another woman. Sensing the direction it came from, he galloped that way to find two women—no, a girl and a woman. Vorstag observed the scene, analyzing before he reacted. The girl was on the ground in pain, bleeding in the snow as a petite woman, a mage judging by her hooded robes, fought off several bandits. Three looked like they were dead already. He could tell she was running out of Magicka when she produced a dagger, hovering, swinging it back and forth, protecting the girl beneath her. 

“Stay away!” she screamed. 

“Aww, we’re just lookin’ for a bit of fun. Surely you can’t deny us that,” said Idiot bandit number one, taunting the woman.

“Stay back!” she yelled, swinging her arm left and right to keep the bandits at bay. 

Vorstag knew the woman wouldn’t be able to hold them off forever with that tiny dagger. While he wasn’t always chivalrous, he hated bandits more than he hated doing a good deed. He cursed under his breath at doing work without payment and rushed at the bandits who scattered away from the horse. They didn’t look happy at getting interrupted. 

With a jump off the mare, the mercenary, sword drawn, rushed the bandits and killed them with little effort. _Assholes_. Vorstag cleaned his sword of blood on the breeches of a dead bandit, he sheathed it and went to check on the women—girl and woman. 

“Dang thugs,” the woman shouted and spat at a bloody corpse.

“Are you all right?” he asked her.

The mage woman ignored him as she rushed to the bleeding girl in the snow, casting a healing spell on her. But it didn’t look like it was doing much good.

You’re welcome,” he said with a bit of annoyance.

“Dammit! I have barely anything left!” she cried out. She looked at Vorstag as if she just noticed him. “You there! Do you have any healing potions?”

“Healing… lady, I just saved your pretty tush.”

“Don’t be a jerk. She needs help.” The woman then attempted to look pleasant, her eyes pleading. “Please, she needs help and I’m out of Magicka. She’s... important.”

“Aren’t we all,” he grunted and dug in his pack for a healing potion he just purchased, handing it to her. He hoped he didn’t come across any more trouble and would have need of that potion.

Back to ignoring him, the mage eased the girl upright, who couldn’t have been older than thirteen or fourteen, and poured the contents down her throat. “How do you feel, sweetheart?”

“It hurts,” the girl complained, gripping her stomach.

“I know it does. It will feel better soon. Once I restore my Magicka, I can do a full heal on you. I’m so sorry, sweetheart. I’m sorry I let one of them get to you.”

“It’s not... your fault.”

The mage smoothed back the girl’s blonde hair, checking her eyes and skin. Satisfied that the girl looked okay, the woman stood and lowered her hood, turning to face the man who saved her and her charge. Vorstag stunned for a second at the woman’s appearance. While her dark brown hair was curly and unruly, her face was gorgeous, her eyes a pale green under olive skin. An Imperial.

“I am Lucinia. The girl is Anaka. I am sorry I was rude earlier. My priority was the girl’s well-being.”

“Vorstag, mercenary.”

Lucinia nodded in understanding and dug in her bag, pulling out a few Septims. “I’m afraid we have little, but here you go.”

The amount wasn’t even worth taking, so he told the lady to keep it.

“A savior and kind, thank you.”

It was the first time in years he could feel the heat creeping up his face, rubbing his neck—a nervous habit. He didn’t know if it was her gorgeous face or the fact that she called him kind that did him in. He was no savior or kind, but sometimes he did the right thing. 

“It was nothing… really,” he said, strangely pleased with himself.

After a moment of awkwardness, Vorstag headed off to his horse. “Well, since you two are fine, I guess I better get back home. Good luck, then.”

“Wait!” the mage yelled out. “Can you help us? I... I can’t pay much, but I have to take Anaka to the Throat of the World. It is clear now that I am not as strong as I thought. I haven’t ever been out of the College of Winterhold.”

Vorstag turned around to see the girl smiling at him, looking better. 

The man huffed, eyes wide, wondering what a child and a woman needed to go to the top of the mountain for. “The Throat of the World? Do you have any idea how dangerous that is? And why would you take a little girl there?”

“I’m not a little girl,” Anaka said.

“Yes, you are.”

“It’s important. She’s important,” said the mage.

“Yes, you said that already. Look, I am wrapping up a job and would like to get paid, so if you don’t mind—”

Anaka ran to him and took his hand, holding it. The rush to his brain nearly knocked him over as he found himself in a brutal scene, unable to make sense of it. _Dragons, fire, ice, smoke, thousands of dead bodies, blood, red skies, the Skyrim burning. A girl standing in the middle of it—_

Vorstag gasped for breath when she let his hand go, taking a step back. His heart thundered through his chest from the vision. “What the fuck was that?”

“What is to come,” the girl shrugged as if she didn’t have a care in the world. “Destiny has chosen you. I have seen you.”

“What’s this chosen nonsense? Seen me?” What in Oblivion was this girl talking about? He couldn’t deny what he just saw, but what she was talking about was nonsense. 

“You were chosen to help me. Don’t worry, you will find plenty of wealth on our travels,” Anaka promised.

“Oh, no! I’m not a babysitter,” he yelled and stormed off wondering what he got himself into. This was what happened when he did good deeds. People always wanted more from him, as if he was some fucking hero.

“Why won’t he come with us, Lucinia? He is the one to help us! We will die without him,” the girl cried.

“I don’t know, sweetheart. We will do what we can, OK?”

He groaned when he heard the girl cry and felt the first pangs of guilt. Vorstag hated to feel guilty and avoided it like the plague. When he turned around, Anaka buried her face in the woman, weeping. He looked up at the sky as if he could will the Gods to answer, why him? Women who cried always did him in and he suspected women did it in secret, on purpose, to get what they wanted.

“Please,” Lucinia pleaded, looking as if she was about to cry too. 

_Not her, too_. “Fuck! Fine, but only to the top of the mountain. After that, you’re on your own.”

Vorstag could have sworn the girl smiled at her guardian. _Did she just smirk?_ Somehow he felt like he was just played by a teenager. 

“I have to get back to Windhelm to send a letter to the woman who hired me before we head out,” he grumbled, wondering what he got himself into.

The girl jumped up and down in her excitement, her tears vanished as if by a miracle.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I would love to know your thoughts so far on this story <3
> 
> Next: Babysitting mages and girls isn't all it's cracked up to be.


	2. From Mercenary to Babysitter

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Vorstag was regretting his decision to take Lucinia and Anaka to the Throat of the World as they got to know each other. The mage was self-righteous and naive. The girl never stopped talking and wished she would choose to be either an adult or a child. The flip-flopping was making him dizzy... and moody. But he takes the time to train them with swords and bows to ease his guilt for leaving them behind when they reached the mountain top.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you are enjoying my Vorstag. With time the characters will start to grow. 
> 
> Please let me know in the comments what you think. Thanks for reading. <3

With his letter sent, Vorstag made camp close to Windhelm since the mage, and the girl had to recover their strength. He inwardly cursed at barely making a dent in his travels since he first left the Nord city, wondering what he got himself into. The rest of his gold from the job would remain elusive for a while. No, he knew what he got himself into. It was the why of it he couldn't figure out.

Vorstag knew nothing of children, let alone teenage girls. All he knew was they could be wily, remembering how he was when he was younger. Too bad he cared about the two girls dying, barely able to defend themselves. He was no hero. Sometimes it helped not to have a conscience, and oh, how he tried, but it was no use—that constant pestering like a flying buzzing around the ear that refuses to leave you alone. Guilt always won out, even with manipulative crying girls. It was the only reason he took such a low-paying job, and now he had to babysit two of them. Aye, it was the why of it he couldn't figure.

When the fire was roaring, the woman and girl hovered close to get warm. Their hands held out close to the fire as the cold tended to penetrate the fingers first. Their faces were in near ecstasy, flushing from the heat. He pulled out a small bundle of dried beef with a hand thrust in his bag, yanking off a piece of hard meat with his teeth. When he looked up and saw his two charges salivating, watching him eat. A couple stray, bloody dogs, they were.

He groaned, not bothering to hide his irritation. "Fuck! Are you telling me I have to feed you too? That was not part of the agreement."

"Watch your language around the girl," Lucinia scolded, covering Anaka's ears as the girl shoved the woman's hands away in annoyance.

"Fuck, fuck, fuck! You wanted me here—guilting me with fake tears no less, so I get to speak how I want."

"Fuck!" the girl shouted, but covered her mouth quickly, eyes in shock she just blurted out the curse, but snorted out a laugh.

"Ana!"

"What? It's fun to say."

"See," he laughed, waving a confirming hand towards the girl.

"You saw what you did, right?" Lucinia said with narrowed, irritated eyes at him due to his immediate influence over the girl.

Vorstag ignored the woman and returned to eating, mumbling in irritation. The woman was already like a nagging wife. He couldn't take their begging eyes any longer, drooling like starving wolves in winter gone on too long. He looked up at the sky as if it held all the answers, then handed a piece of meat to each with some bread. The woman and child devoured the food as if they hadn't eaten in weeks.

"Great, I guess this means I have to hunt too. I planned on my food lasting me until I made it to Markarth."

Vorstag looked at the mage, licking her fingers. "You aren't very prepared for this 'savior' thing, not that I believe it, or anything."

"I'm afraid not," she conceded. "I thought I was prepared, determined to get Ana to the mountaintop. I begged Savos Aren, our Archmage, to let me go. Ever since she came to the College, I have felt protective over her. It wasn't only that, but this girl showed me the visions. I am the one to accompany her, to protect her."

The mercenary then eyed the teen, snorting a laugh. "Your visions suck. You might want to work on them."

"My visions aren't absolute and are more of a guide, but I am sure my visions about you and Lucy are correct," Anaka said, shrugging, taking no offense. "No matter the choices, you and she are always by my side."

"What's the point of having visions if they aren't absolute?" he asked.

"We need fate to have absolute visions. Fate isn't only determined as something final and immutable, it is decided by our actions and how we react to the world around us," Anaka explained, sounding more like an adult than a child. He wondered if it was because of her visions, or had she always been this way?

Confusion fell upon Vorstag, and he had a feeling his face showed it, not being the smartest of men. He could read and write well enough, but anything beyond that, like philosophy or the meaning of life, muddled his brain, even religion, he ignored. He left those more profound thoughts to wiser people. "Then it's not fate," he said. 

"I wouldn't say fate, but more like destiny with choices. Our choices can change the outcomes of our destinies. My destiny is to be the Dragonborn. My decisions will determine how I get there and if I succeed or not."

The mercenary scratched his head, trying to wrap his mind around what the girl was saying. "I don't get it," he finally said. He suddenly felt foolish, wishing he read more.

Anaka looked at him steadily, patiently, as if she had done this a thousand times before. "We, as people, have destinies written for us. Are they determined by gods or something else? Who knows? But we usually fulfill those destinies, willing, or unwittingly. It is our choices that affect the outcome or change our life directions. For example, you have the destiny to join Lucy and me. Our paths crossed for a reason. It was your choice to come along with us that gives me a greater chance of succeeding in my destiny. If you chose not to, perhaps I could still succeed—perhaps not. We will never know now since you chose the path set before you."

 _I need a drink. This makes my head hurt_. "It was your damned fake tears that determined for me," he complained.

Anaka smiled, resting her head on Lucinia's shoulder, not denying what he said, and shrugged, "You still made that choice."

"Ha! I was right! You tricked me! OK, so what if I 'choose' to leave because I don't like being deceived?"

"You have already fulfilled your destiny. Besides, you made your choice knowing you were being manipulated," the girl shrugged again. 

"Look at it this way. Spider webs are like destinies. It is whole and beautiful when it is complete, but it breaks down over time with wind or rain, yet it is still a spider web. The web is just different after time and change."

Vorstag groaned in his confusion. The girl—rather teen—was too smart for her own good. "Let's backtrack for a moment. Who are you? Or better yet, what are you? You mentioned something about the Dragonborn."

"You won't believe me, at least not yet," Anaka said.

"Why don't you try me."

The girl gave a nod and sat closer to Lucinia, who put a warming arm around her. "This is my destiny. I am the child of Akatosh himself—the Last Dragonborn. With the rise of the dragons, my destiny became known—"

"Hold on, hold on," Vorstag said, waving his hands about. "Stop! You are born from a god? Now you are definitely pulling my leg."

"I told you, you wouldn't believe, but you also didn't let me finish."

"Fine, go ahead."

"I am not a child of a god. Not in the way you are thinking. I was merely... chosen to be the vessel to carry the soul, to use its power. The dragons are rising after thousands of years—"

"Dragons? No, I haven't seen a dragon in all my years. They are a myth, a legend."

"Truth lies in legends," Lucinia said, who had been mute for most of the conversation.

"With the rise of dragons, my visions started showing up in my mind. I couldn't explain them, so I left home to travel to the College of Winterhold for answers. Their library is vast, and I learned a lot. Despite learning all that I have, I still don't have any definitive answers, only visions that keep plaguing my mind. I know that I am the Last Dragonborn, and I am to end the dragon menace. To find answers, I have to seek the Greybeards at the top of the Throat of the World." When Anaka finished her story, she stretched and yawned, tired from her rough day.

"It's time for sleep, young lady. You need rest, so go crawl in the tent, and I will be there shortly."

When Lucinia was sure the girl was asleep, she walked over to sit next to the mercenary. Her eyes turned hard like green gemstones as she looked at him. "Ana trusts you because she saw you in a vision. That doesn't mean I do. I accept you because I have understood my limitations, and we require someone who can fight, that she wishes you here. But if you ever hurt her, I will hurt you. Is that understood?"

"So what kind of hurt are we talking about here? I mean, what level of pain? Is it like a pleasurable kind of hurt or..." Vorstag teased. He wasn't flirting with her, but he didn't want a lecture either. Besides, she wasn't his type. Flirting with self-righteous women like Lucinia was an excellent way to shut them up.

"You are disgusting," she huffed and crawled in the tent with Anaka. 

Vorstag had to admit that it was pleasant to wake up without a hangover, not squandering his potions to get rid of his headaches and nausea. He crawled out of his tent, stood, and stretched to the still dark sky, yawning. Dawn hadn't yet broken through, and since he was awake, he left to hunt for food to break their fast. He pulled out his bow and walked a distance away to an area he knew would have at least rabbits hopping around and waited for the prey to come to him.

If he was to help them, those women needed to learn to defend themselves properly. It would also be a good time killer when they weren't traveling to teach them how to use weapons. After what he saw the day before, he knew that their magic wouldn't be enough. Not after seeing the girl bleeding all over the snow. The mercenary wouldn't be around forever. Once he got them to the mountaintop, they were on their own. Several days wouldn't be enough to be experts, but it would give them more of an edge the women didn't have before. Vorstag was familiar with himself well enough to know that training the women would keep his guilt in check when he had to leave them behind on the mountain.

The arrow met its mark on the rabbit. He headed back to camp after killing three of them, feeling better about his decision. At least the women were awake, tossing the rabbits at them. "Breakfast," he grunted.

Lucinia looked at him like he had lost his mind. "You may be a barbarian, but I don't eat raw rabbit."

The mercenary rolled his eyes at the pampered woman. She was in the College for too long. "Didn't your parents ever teach you to clean and cook animals? You ate, didn't you?"

"No. You mean, I have to remove the skin and bones… myself?" the mage shuddered.

"My parents taught me," Anaka spoke up, drawing a dagger from her boot, stripping away her rabbit's skin. 

Vorstag had to admit, the girl completely surprised him, though Lucinia was predictable. "Good, you can teach the mage then. If she is to be a suitable guardian, she needs to protect you and help keep you fed."

"This mage has a name, and hold on for a—" the mage spoke up before Vorstag silenced her.

"Look, sister—"

"I am not your—"

"You need to learn—"

"I need not be told what—"

"Enough!" yelled Anaka, standing between the two bickering adults, electricity coursing through her as her long blonde hair stood on end. "Lucy, please. Remember, he may leave us, and we have to learn to feed ourselves. We may not always be able to stay at an inn. Mr. Vorstag, please be patient with us. We are learning. This is all new to me as it is to Lucinia, but she's doing her best."

"Fine," he muttered.

The mercenary grabbed one rabbit, pulled out a dagger, and showed Lucinia how to skin it. He could see her battle with not gagging, not once uttering a complaint, but her face said it all. After their breakfast, they cleaned up in the frigid river, washing away the blood and grease.

"I would like to spend about an hour teaching you both how to use a sword before we head out, eventually learning the bow. I am certain that if either of you runs out of Magicka, you won't be able to defend yourself like the last time. That is where a sword comes in."

Lucinia intended to complain, but she realized he was feeding them and willing to train them for no extra cost. She reluctantly accepted that he deserved some gratitude. "OK, let's do it. Thank you."

Vorstag couldn't hide his astonishment at the mage, thinking she was just going to complain again. He handed her one of his great-swords. She grabbed it and dropped it straight to the ground, barely able to lift it. Taking it back, he replaced it with a one-handed sword, trying not to laugh as the mage attempted to swing it back and forth.

"Whoa! Careful, that was close," he said as she swung near him. "I would like to keep my head, thank you very much."

"I have a sword already," Anaka said, conjuring one.

"That is not the same. It's handy while you have Magicka flowing through you, but what happens when you run out?"

"But, I can still practice with it."

"You make a fine point, but you need to feel the heft of a real sword to learn to swing it properly."

"Oh... right."

"I don't have an extra one-hander, so you both need to share."

After an hour of instructions, he tried to force as much as he could into the lesson. Both the girl and mage knew how to stand correctly in a stance and learn a few different cuts. It would take a lot more practice, but it was a start. They all packed up their gear and headed out. No one ever accused the mercenary of being a gentleman, but he let the women ride the rented horse while he pulled it along. 

"If you have the gold, I recommend you both get some swords. Even cheap ones will help keep you alive."

The walk was quiet, and Vorstag was just fine with that. The day was freezing, as he wrapped a scarf around his nose and mouth, pulling up his hood. At least there wasn't wind to make it worse. The only sounds came from birds, the rushing waters from the river, and the horse's clopping on the stone road. The mercenary was lost in thought as he calculated the time it would get to the Throat of the World, then back to Markarth. If all went according to plan, it would take four days to get to Ivarstead, then another to make it to the top. He would be home in two weeks at the most. 

_Wasn't I just complaining about not having anything to do? Now I'm in a rush to get home_. It wasn't necessarily a need to get back, but to get away from the girl and woman. It wasn't his kind of work, being a babysitter. Give him a bandit any day, not take care of little girls and mages as if he was some sort of parent. All he knew was war, fighting, and battle. At thirty-four, he never took the time to slow down or settle. He didn't know how to do anything other than mercenary work. It was something he had done for close to seventeen years. Life forced him to find a way to make a living.

"Where are you from, Mr. Vorstag?" the girl asked, disturbing the solitude of his thoughts.

"It's just Vorstag. I grew up in a small village near Dragon Bridge. It's a mining town, not even worthy of being on a map."

"Were your parents miners?"

"My father was before the war before I was born. My mother was a farmer, but I don't remember her."

"Was?"

"Yes," was all he said, not wanting to go into details.

"How did you become a warrior?"

"I'm not a warrior. I'm a mercenary. A warrior fights for honor. I fight for gold."

"You have honor, so you are a warrior. You helped us without asking for anything. You turned down the Septim Lucy gave you," Anaka insisted.

"I'm not a warrior," he repeated, not wanting the girl to put him on some imaginary pedestal. He was what he was, and he was just fine with that.

"How long will it take to get to the top of the mountain?" Lucinia asked, changing the subject.

"To the very top? It will take about five days."

"Five days?! Mara's mercy! I... I didn't think it would be that far. I looked on the map and assumed it didn't look as far as that."

"Yes, now you understand my reluctance with taking you there, but shit... you will die if I don't. I don't know what you two were thinking when you embarked on this journey."

"It is important we get there. We have little choice," the mage said.

"There's always a choice," he contradicted. "You should have hired a warrior to escort you."

"We did. You are helping us, Mr. Vorstag. You are not only taking us there but training us too. We will learn to defend ourselves, so you don't have to worry when you leave," Anaka said with intuitiveness Vorstag didn't expect. The girl had shown signs of maturity and intelligence but continued to surprise him. Other times she acted just like the young girl she was, not that he knew what young girls were like or any child, for that matter.

"I meant an actual warrior," the man scoffed, "Besides, I'm not worried about either of you." _Lies._

He had been walking for hours and needed a break, not used to walking long distances, feet sore despite the thick socks. "I need a break," he informed them.

Vorstag handed some food to the girls and removed his boots, massaging sore feet, then had a bite to eat himself. After their small snack and some water, they headed out again. "Mage, you walk this time. My feet need a break."

Lucinia's eyes narrowed at him. He was antagonizing her by not using her name, and she knew it, but she didn't react to him as he expected. 

"I can heal your feet if you wish," the mage offered.

"Uhm, well, you don't want to get near my feet anyway."

Lucinia cast a spell and touched each booted foot, and Vorstag could feel the warmth travel deep into his toes, all the pain and blisters removed. "Well, thanks, then... you're still leading the horse."

Without complaint, the mage pulled the mare as soon as Vorstag lifted Anaka, sitting the girl in front of him. 

"How long to the nearest town?" the mage asked.

"There is no nearest town. Eastmarch is as barren as an old woman's womb. There are a couple of villages East, a mining town directly North closer to the Rift, but there is nothing in the direction we are going. Ivarstead is the next nearest town, so we will have to camp until we get there."

"Nice analogy," Lucinia said flatly.

"Will you teach me to use a bow too?" the girl asked.

"Yes."

"Lucy and I don't have to waste your arrows, we can practice with our conjured ones."

"Fine," he agreed, not wanting to waste his arrows either. "We will do it in the morning."

"How did you become a mercenary, Mr. Vorstag?"

"It's just Vorstag," he told her again. "You sure ask a lot of questions. Do you always talk this much?" 

"Yes, the girl is inquisitive," Lucinia said.

"It's a long story," he answered the girl.

"Please tell us," the girl asked.

"No."

"I understand that it hurts."

"It doesn't... never mind. Let's drop it, OK?"

Much to his relief, the girl grew silent. The rest of the journey was quiet, realizing she had fallen asleep and did so until they made camp for the evening. Despite the girl's apparent wisdom and visions, her barrage of questions reminded the mercenary how young she still was.

Vorstag grabbed his bow to hunt them dinner, but the girl stopped him by grabbing his arm. "I want to go with you. I want to learn how to hunt."

"No," he said, walking off.

"I don't think that's a good idea, sweetheart," Lucinia said.

Anaka ignored Lucinia and had her hands on her hips, a determined look on her face as she looked up at him in a way that made him feel sorry for her future husband. "You told us we had to train and learn to survive. How can we do that if you don't show us how?"

 _This girl's brain is going to get on my nerves_. "Fine," he said through gritted teeth. "Just do everything I say, is that understood? And no talking." He didn't say yes because he wanted her to tag along, but more to piss off the mage because she said no.

"I promise!"

"Be careful," Lucinia called out. "You better bring her back safely!"

Vorstag walked off, ignoring the woman, with Anaka skipping next to him, giggling. He wished the girl could choose either to be a child or an adult. She skipped up to him and grabbed his hand to hold, looking up, smiling as he looked down. What was the little Riekling doing? Why was she holding his hand? The mercenary gently removed his hand, feeling awkward as they kept walking. 

"You are a good man, Mr. Vorstag."

"Not if you keep calling me 'Mr,'" he grumbled. "And I'm pretty sure I told you not to talk." He did not want to get into the morality or lack thereof regarding his life. 

"I like you," she said, ignoring him.

Vorstag stopped walking and looked down at the girl. "Look, I... appreciate that, I guess, but we are here to hunt. To be successful, you need to be silent. We don't want to scare off prey. Is that understood?"

The girl's head bobbed up and down, following close behind him, uttering not a blessed word, grateful to absorb the silence. They came to a clearing, and he sat behind a fallen tree for cover, getting his bow ready. 

Even though he gave no lessons, the girl watched him intently. He could see she observed him with great interest as he pulled the arrow out of the quiver, placed it in the bow, held by his finger, not drawing the string back, waiting, breathing slowly.

Anaka pointed at movement in the distance. Not only was she smart, but her eyes were keen. Sure enough, a pheasant emerged from the bushes. Pleased with her find, she smiled with excitement as she watched him pull back the string taut against his face, aimed, and held his breath. He let go of his breath at the same time letting go of the string, watching the arrow fly as it made its mark, killing the bird.

Anaka ran off to gather the bird, bringing it back with an arrow protruding.

"Oh, he's beautiful! I've never had pheasant before, but I heard they are delicious!" she exclaimed as she ran off to camp.

"Wait! Shit!" he yelled and ran after her. _Dammit!_

When Vorstag caught up with the girl, he grabbed her arm, almost causing her to drop the bird. "Never run off like that. Gods be damned! You are so smart sometimes, but so fucking—Anyway, until I train you to take care of yourself, never run off like that." 

"OK. I'm sorry," Anaka said, looking properly contrite.

"Fine," he grunted. This was why he didn't work with children. They were unpredictable, impulsive, especially teens.

He tried to ignore the mage, internalizing his surprise when Lucinia took the bird from Anaka and plucked the feathers. There were no complaints or disgust, she just cleaned it for their evening meal. The continuous blowing hair out of her face from the corner of her mouth focused on her work, nearly had him laughing. It was some of the craziest hair he had ever seen, but he didn't hate it.

After dinner, Anaka threaded some leather cord she had with the feathers she collected from the pheasant, back into her interrogating mood. "Where do you live, Mr. Vorstag?"

"Shor's ass... It's Vorstag, for the hundredth fucking time. I live in Markarth. You know what, why don't you tell me something about yourself?" he asked. Not that he cared, but he wanted to deflect attention off of himself and the girl's barrage of questions.

"OK," she said, seemingly in a perpetual good mood. The mercenary figured it could be worse. She could complain every five minutes. The girl walked over and sat next to him, soon regretting he asked her anything. "I grew up on a farm close to Dawnstar. There's nothing special about me. Mama would tell me how smart I was, but that was about it. I helped my parents take care of the farm with my two older brothers and younger sister. She's only three, and a surprise mama said. When I had the dreams and visions, my parents sent me to the College of Winterhold. They would have sent me earlier with my magic, but they couldn't afford it. Savos Aren took an interest in what was happening and allowed me to stay for free. I miss my family—my stupid brothers, and cute little sister." All her excitement wore off, replaced with sadness, tears welling up in her eyes.

Once again, the mercenary was sorry he asked, rubbing the back of his neck, suddenly uncomfortable as her tears spilled, leaning her head on his arm. _What is with this girl?_ Not knowing what else to do, he patted her head and gently shrugged her off of him, but she insisted on resting her head on his arm. He looked over at the mage to see that she couldn't help but smirk at him and his discomfort while she felt sorry for the girl.

"So what's your story, mage?" he asked.

"I doubt you really want to know, but if you do, you could, at least, address me by my name."

"Fine, what is your story, _Lucinia_?"

"Honestly, I don't really have a story."

"Everyone has a story."

"Fine, all I have ever known is the College of Winterhold. I showed strong magic abilities at a very young age. I don't know who my parents were—if they just dumped me off, died—who knows."

"That explains the lack of survival skills. Don't they teach you all anything else besides magic?"

Lucinia tried to hide her irritation, but her demeanor screamed defensiveness. "Yes, they teach us to read and write," she said, suddenly haughty, brushing back long, frizzing curls.

"You know what I meant," he said, rolling his eyes at her.

"If you mean did they teach us to be warriors, then no. Why would they? They are a school of magic, not the Companions."

"What use is a school of magic if you can't even hunt for your own food?"

"Why would I hunt? We have people to do that for us."

"But, of course, you do," he muttered.

"What is that supposed to mean?"

Anaka apparently had stopped crying because the mercenary could hear the girl giggle. "What's up with you, then?"

"Oh, nothing," she said. "Just something I saw." 

"Well, I'm talked out, anyway. It's time to sleep."

In the morning, Vorstag spent the hour promised before they left training them in archery. Both women conjured a bow as he used his as a demonstration. As the women held their stance, bow out, arrow notched, and string taught, he walked over and stood close, watching. Anaka had a nearly perfect stance, learning quickly from yesterday, hiding his pride that she learned so quickly.

The mercenary walked over to Lucinia. Her muscles shook with the strain, bumping her as she nearly fell over. "Hey!"

"Spread your legs, toes forward," he ordered. Vorstag stood behind the Imperial, chin nearly resting on her shoulder, touching her face with his as he eyed her target to correct her aim. He ignored the faint smell of some fragrant flower in her hair. Gently touching her arms, he made slight adjustments in her stance. With a hand to her back and another to her stomach, he straightened her form. He didn't have to get that close, but it was fun teasing her, being as uptight as she was.

"You did that on purpose," she huffed. Vorstag could tell she was uncertain if he touched her on purpose, teasing her, or serious about her proper form.

"What did I do on purpose?" Vorstag asked innocently, smiling behind her.

"And you smell like a dead troll." There it was, that defensive reaction, just in case he wasn't serious with her training.

"Now you're getting personal. I'm hurt. That was entirely uncalled for," he said, feigning pain and embarrassment at her expense.

The mage didn't feed his taunts, so she just ignored him as her shot went wild.

It was early morning and day three. The mercenary was counting down the days—just two more, and he would be free. They would be in Ivarstead the next day, then the following morning, they would make their journey up the seven thousand steps to High Hrothgar at the top of the mountain.

Vorstag woke the girl up to tell her he was going to hunt for their breakfast. He couldn't find Lucinia anywhere, who was probably cleaning up somewhere or relieving herself, assuming she would return soon.

"Take my sword, and if anyone comes by, you don't know, kill first, ask questions later," he instructed. "You're OK alone for a short time, right?"

Anaka nodded, "I'll be fine. I'm still young, but not that young. I've been alone lots of times."

"Fine, I will be as quick as I can, but I'm sure your guardian will be back before me."

The area they camped at was near the hot springs, and when the mage returned, he planned to bathe some grime and stink off of him, relax sore feet before they headed out again. Lucinia wasn't wrong—he smelled like a dead troll. The area was so open and arid; the air smelling like rotten eggs from the volcanic waters. Vorstag hoped he could find some game. Ahead was a hill with a copse of trees. Surely there would be rabbits in there. There were plenty of elk around, but they were too big and would take too long to skin and cook. Smaller game was preferable. 

Vorstag pulled his bow, nocked an arrow, and silently walked towards the trees to hunt. As he crested the hill, he could hear singing—beautiful singing. The melodious sound had him completely mesmerized and distracted from his task and had to seek the person behind the voice, like a siren's call, luring men to their deaths. The trees opened up to a rocky landscape with steam floating off waters and a woman. Ducking behind a tree, he saw the woman bathing. Her dark skin shimmering from the steaming waters casting an eerie glow from Mundus's light, glittery, her hair long down her back cascading in wet ringlets. His eyes dilated in lust, feeling the pull of a smirk, watching her. He knew it was intrusive, but he couldn't draw his eyes away. Seeing a naked woman was always a pleasure. That she had a pleasant singing voice was even better. _Turn around, let's see those lovely breasts._

She did turn around, stunned into shock, like a doe before the kill, to see him standing there, watching. He was just as stunned at getting caught. She quickly covered herself up with hands and dunked in the water, only her head was visible, hair floating out around her. He froze in place, unable to move or take his eyes off of her. Vorstag did not realize it was Lucinia, but he stupidly should have known. She was so beautiful. Usually, her hair was a curly disaster, but the water lengthened it, creating swirls and spirals around her.

"I hope you liked what you saw because that will be the last time you see it!" Lucinia snapped, recovering from her shock, the anger at his spying clear on her face.

"Whatever... I've seen better," Vorstag yelled back and winced when her face crumpled, hurt mingled with her anger. "I... I... I didn't mean that." _Why did I say that?_ He said it because he was defensive, embarrassed, knowing what it was wrong watching her and being caught.

"You're an asshole!"

"I know... I don't—"

"Turn the fuck around!" she yelled, nearly screeching, not one who usually cursed. "At least allow me the dignity to get out and get dressed without your gawking with your perverted eyes... Oh, no!"

"Uh, right, sorry," he said, looking down, not noticing the fright in her eyes.

As soon as he turned around, he was face to face with several men, bandits by its looks. _Shit_.

"We followed that lovely voice and look at what we found."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next: How to guilt a mercenary.


	3. Guilt Trips

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Vorstag and Lucinia are off to a rocky start and it doesn't help that he stumbled into her bathing, having to fight off bandits, not to mention they missed out on breakfast. Anaka, the Dragonborn, continues to pester him with questions as they make their way up the 7,000 steps to High Hrothgar. Despite all that, Vorstag is struggling with abandoning the two to their fates.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading! Please let me know what you think down in the comments. <3
> 
> A little screenshot of how I envisioned Lucinia. Sorry, my art mojo is dead in the water, drowned, and bled dry.

“Stay back,” Vorstag yelled behind him at Lucinia as he lifted his bow, arrow ready. He cursed himself for not bringing his sword, leaving it behind at camp. He thought being in the middle of nowhere, with little life, they wouldn’t be faced with thugs. Lesson learned.

“Please allow the poor woman to get out. Her lovely skin will prune. You wouldn’t want that, would you?” said Idiot bandit number one, who must have been the leader since he had over a three-word dialogue.

“Do you guys just write that stuff down, or does the drivel come dripping out of your unintelligent minds?” Vorstag retorted. _Poke the bear—get them off-balance_.

“Excuse me?” said Idiot. 

The confusion on the bandits’ faces was priceless, but Vorstag didn’t laugh despite his smirk. “Your clichéd lines are old, like ’Die, bastard,’ ‘You’ll never see the light of day,’ ‘Kill him, then rape her.’ Is there a ‘How to Speak Like a Bandit’ book? If so, your lines need work.” Vorstag knew from experience pulling anger out of the stupid like a loose thread will cause them to unravel and react, making mistakes.

As predicted, the bandits reacted, the leader yelling ‘get him.’ Before Vorstag attacked, two of the bandits flew back against the trees covered in flames. He wanted to see behind him, but he knew enough that it was Lucinia and shot his arrows one after the other. He missed several men because he wasn’t used to fighting with a bow, only hunting with it. Out of arrows now, he rolled away from an oncoming sword, and came up to a dead bandit, taking his weapon. As soon as he grabbed it, he was on the defense, blocking a sword coming down on him.

When he got his feet stable, Vorstag swung and sliced with the cheap sword. He spun around to the heavy stomping, sword ready, eyes wide at seeing the giant ice creature pummeling the bandits. The mercenary took a quick second to see Lucinia casting spells, still trying to cover herself with water, then returned to his hacking and slashing.

He calmed his breathing as he looked around to make sure the bandits were dead. Two of them were groaning, and he walked over, stabbing them until they were silent, tossing the cheap sword to the ground. Vorstag then walked around, gathering his unused arrows and stealing arrows from the bandits.

“Can I get out now,” Lucinia asked.

“I’m not stopping you.”

“Are you not going to give me any dignity and turn your back?”

“I’m not looking… promise,” he said, digging in the pocket of a bandit, pulling out Septims. He promised, but that didn’t stop him from peeking out of the corner of his eye. What she didn’t know couldn’t hurt her. He wondered if she knew how beautiful she was, even if she was a pain in the ass.

As she was tying her robe, he walked over to her. “Are you OK?”

“I’m not talking to you,” she huffed and stomped away.

“You just did.” He was trying to make her laugh, but it sounded condescending. He realized his mistake when her eyes turned to daggers. “That was a joke.”

“It wasn’t funny.”

“Look, I said I was sorry. I didn’t mean what I said.”

“Screw what you said. You were spying on me, pervert!” 

“I’m sorry about that too. If it’s any consolation, I didn’t know it was you,” he explained.

With hands on her hips, Vorstag didn’t think it was possible for her to appear any angrier, and she just proved him wrong. 

“Consolation?! How exactly is that supposed to make me feel better?! You’re a voyeur… a pervert! It doesn’t matter if it was me or not! You shouldn’t be spying on women at all!”

“You were the one signing. I was just following your voice. I didn’t mean to intrude on your precious bath. But you were…” Vorstag growled in irritation. “You know what, forget it! I’m sorry, and I’m not apologizing again!” 

Vorstag almost told her she was beautiful; instead, he got defensive and angry, storming back to camp. “Now, we don’t have fucking breakfast!”

When they returned, Anaka was at the fire, roasting two rabbits. She gave Lucinia and Vorstag a big grin. “Look what I caught!”

“Did you go hunt alone?” Vorstag snapped, still angry.

The girl withered under his glower, “You left me alone and were gone for so long. I was hungry. I’m sorry.”

The man rubbed his face as if he could wipe away his irritability. “No, you’re right. We just had trouble, and I’m still pissed.”

“Oh, are you both OK?” Anaka asked, looking at Lucinia and him as if scanning for wounds. 

“We are fine, Ana. Bandits tried to attack us, but we worked together and killed them. So, we weren’t able to get breakfast,” Lucinia said as she braided her wet hair, tired of it in her face.

“We can share my rabbits.”

Vorstag looked around, curious how she hunted after seeing him do it only once. “How did you hunt?”

“I conjured a bow,” she said, excitement in her voice. 

“I know you can do that, but you’ve only been hunting with me once, and then you didn’t even kill the bird.”

“I watched you.”

“Well… uh, that’s observant. Good, then.”

The mercenary planned to train the women that morning, but naked women and bandits changed his course. The three packed up their camp and headed out once more, Lucinia and Anaka riding on the mare. They would reach Ivarstead by the end of the day. The next day, they would be in High Hrothgar, then freedom.

“Mr. Vorstag—” Anaka spoke up, ready for more interrogations, probing into the mercenary’s life.

“For the love of all that is good in this world… Can you please stop calling me Mr.?”

“Do you have any brothers or sisters?” the girl asked, ignoring him.

He pinched the bridge of his nose. Sensing a headache coming on, he sighed. “I have an older brother.”

“Is he as handsome as you?”

Vorstag tried not to chuckle at the question. “I’m more handsome.” He could sense the mage’s eyes roll behind his back.

Anaka giggled. “Yes, you are very handsome! Isn’t he, Lucy?”

Vorstag could hear the scoff behind his back.

“Where is he, your brother?” the girl asked, continuing her torrent of questions.

“He lives in Whiterun with his wife and children.”

“You must love visiting and playing with your nieces and nephews! I wish we could go visit! It has been a while since I played with children.

“I, uh... I have never met them,” he said, rubbing his neck, not wanting to discuss his difficult past.

“Why not? You should! Family is so important.”

Vorstag stopped the horse and tried not to lose his patience with the girl. She was still just a kid; he reminded himself. “Look, I... appreciate you wanting to get to know me, but you ask too many personal questions. Please stop.”

“But, I want to—” 

“If people don’t want to answer personal questions and ask you to stop, you stop,” Lucinia said, silencing the girl before she could speak more.

During lunch, the mercenary rested his feet, then taught them more with the sword since they missed out on it that morning. Lucinia declined the training since there was only one sword and believed that it would help Anaka with hands-on training.

Anaka held up the sword with two hands despite it being a one-handed weapon as Vorstag instructed, but her muscles quivered with the weight. “You need to work those muscles if you want to hold a sword the right way.”

He found a thick stick in the woods and used it to spar with her, teaching the girl how to block. Anaka was a quick learner, and he once again forgot how young she was. Sometimes she was childish and other times she was serious, intelligent, mature. She was tall for her age, though most Nords ran tall. If she kept up her practice after he left, her swordsmanship would be excellent. Between her magic and weaponry, Anaka will be deadly one day. 

“Don’t be afraid to use cheap blows. Kick the balls if you have to—”

“Vorstag!” Lucinia shouted, blushing.

“Listen, mage, the girl will have to use everything at her disposal. She is smaller than men, weaker than men, so she will have to find their weakness,” he explained, pointing between his legs, which made the mage turn a deep shade of red.

“Like this?”

Vorstag gripped his balls as he collapsed to his knees, feeling the bile rise in his throat. “Fuck… Good one.” he croaked out. It wasn’t hard to ignore Lucinia’s laughter with as much pain as he was in, and didn’t notice Anaka’s pats on his back, not hearing her ask him if he was OK. After an eternity, he sat up on his knees, the contents of his stomach settling back to where they belonged. “Yeah, like that. Fuck that hurt,” he said again.

“I’m so sorry, Mr. Vorstag!”

“It’s... fine. I’m... fine.”

“Well done, Ana! You can now defeat any man, no matter how big or strong!” Lucinia praised, still chuckling. 

“You enjoyed that,” he said, not bothering to hide his irritation.

“I’m just so proud of Ana.”

“Right…”

“Thank you for teaching me so much, Mr. Vorstag,” Anaka said, riding in front of him as they headed out on their journey again. The mercenary squirmed in the saddle, still sore, but his feet hurt worse.

The mercenary gave up telling her to stop calling him Mr. Anaka did what she wanted to do. “You’re welcome.”

“I wish we had time to learn more. I think I’m getting good at it.”

“You are a quick study,” he acknowledged, ignoring the hint she wanted him to hang around longer. _One more day._ He barely knew Lucinia and Anaka, but it was hard not to worry for them while reminding himself that it wasn’t his problem. 

“What are your plans after you get us to the mountaintop?” Lucinia asked.

It was a good thing that she couldn’t see the mercenary’s face because it was full of undisguised surprise. It was unusual for the mage to ask him questions, let alone care. After the bathing fiasco, he was perplexed Lucinia was willing to talk to him. “Uh, well, I will head back to Markarth, return this horse and pick up my payment for my last job.”

“And after that? I guess you have several clients ready to hire you?”

“Uh, no, nothing after that,” he admitted. “Jobs have been scarce as of late.”

“You should go see your family. Or you could stay with us,” Anaka said.

“Anaka! Leave him alone about his family,” Lucinia scolded, knowing the man was uncomfortable.

“But…”

“Enough.”

As dusk approached, Anaka was asleep in the mercenary’s arms, savoring her silence as they rode into Ivarstead. She looked so small, so innocent. He still struggled with the idea that she was a savior and would have to fight dragons. The girl was going to get killed. Her demeanor was positive as if she had no doubts about her abilities to do what the world asked of her. The thought put him to shame for leaving them behind to do what? To collect a payment, then sit at the bar drinking, fighting for sport, fucking wenches. Vorstag pushed those thoughts aside. He may know how to fight, but he wasn’t a dragon slayer or even believed in dragons. 

Looking towards the sky and surrounding scenery, he couldn’t recall when he saw such a beautiful sunset. The reds and purples streaked across the sky; the clouds were orange, matching the leaves of the birch trees. It was unusual for the mercenary to embrace the beauty of nature, but one would have to be daft to not appreciate it that day.

“Mara’s love! That is something to behold.” Lucinia said.

“Aye, the sky is pleasant.”

Soon the town of Ivarstead came into view. It was small by city standards, but bigger than most villages that dotted the Skyrim landscape. They would rent two rooms, have a meal then in the morning, restock their food so he wouldn’t have to hunt and stick to the steps. The mountain was a dangerous place, reluctant to leave the women alone. Vorstag also needed to count their coin because they had to buy swords for practice and protecting themselves after he left.

Vilemyr Inn was empty when they arrived, not yet that time where the crowd arrived after a long day of labor, though the bard was singing a familiar tune to a crowd of no one. They ate their meal in silence; the girl still tired from the ride and hungry as she shoveled stew in her mouth. Even though the mage was hungry, she took her time eating.

“We need to go to sleep early tonight because we will move up the Seven Thousand Steps bright and early, which will take all day. Before we leave, we will go to the blacksmith to find you weapons while we are here. I want you to practice every day after I leave.”

Because the girl was so quiet, the mercenary became concerned. It wasn’t normal for her to be silent after rest and a belly full of food, her mind filled with questions. “Are you ill, girl?”

His question caused Lucinia to become concerned, placing a hand on the girl’s forehead to check for fever, but Anaka brushed her away in annoyance. “I’m fine.”

“You don’t look fine,” he said.

_Please don’t cry_. He saw the girl’s eyes well up and sighed. He knew he would not get out of it as they spilled down her face. “What’s wrong?”

“I don’t want you to go,” she admitted. “You’re not supposed to go.”

“Well, I haven’t gone yet. I’m still here with you and all day tomorrow.”

“My vision says you stay with us, but you still want to leave us,” she pouted, picking at the rest of her stew, head resting on the table.

“Didn’t you say visions weren’t perfect, absolute?”

“This one is clear.”

“I’m sorry, girl, but I have to leave and get paid. I can’t care for little girls forever.”

“Whatever!” she screamed as she stormed off like a whirlwind to her room, crying.

“What was that all—”

“Well, that could have gone better,” Lucinia said, arms folded in annoyance. 

“What did I do this time? I just told the girl the truth. Did you want me to lie to her?” he asked as his own irritation built, defensive barriers threatening to collapse.

“You could have been more tactful. She may be the Last Dragonborn and smart, but she’s still a young girl at heart.”

“Does it look as if I know how to talk to children? If she needs to be a damned savior, then she needs to get used to disappointment,” the man said, getting up and going to his own room, pissed. He paced back and forth, stewing in anger, but as he calmed, he realized he wasn’t angry with Lucinia but trying to bury his own guilt.

“Gods dammit!” he grunted, removing his leather armor and plopped into bed, tossing and turning, trying to sleep, but couldn’t get visions of the women being mauled or killed or raped out of his head. “Fuck! No! They don’t get to guilt me. I have a life. I can’t work making next to nothing.” Decision made, he dozed off into dreamland.

Vorstag woke early the next morning and left to go see the blacksmith. He figured the girls didn’t have enough Septim to buy swords, so he purchased two of them with his own coin. It was getting to the point he was losing money on this job, but it was better than leaving them helpless. At least he had another four hundred Septim waiting for him back home, and then he would feel less guilty about leaving them defenseless. 

The sword swung as he felt the metal’s weight in his hands. Satisfied the weapons were excellent enough; he purchased them along with several more arrows and headed back to the inn to break his fast. 

When he walked in, the atmosphere was light when he saw Anaka eating breakfast with a smile on her face waving to him. His guilt from the night before washed away with her inner brightness, and he couldn’t help but smile back. 

“What are those?” the girl asked.

“These are for you and Lucinia,” he replied, sliding the two weapons across the table.

“You bought us swords? Real actual swords?” she asked, her face full of excitement. 

The mercenary nodded, looking over at Lucinia, who carried a grin on her mouth, pleased that she too was in a better mood. At least, she wouldn’t be bitching at him.

“You didn’t have to do that,” the mage said, running a finger along the leather scabbard. 

“I know.”

“Why?”

Vorstag raised an eyebrow at the woman, “Do you always ask why when given a gift?”

“I’m sorry. I don’t mean to appear ungrateful, but you don’t even…” Lucinia changed her mind about whatever she planned to say. “Never mind. Thank you.”

After breakfast, he made sure the rented mare was in excellent hands, and they started their long hike up the mountain on foot. They would need several breaks because as they climbed the mountain, the atmosphere would thin, making it harder to breathe, tiring them. It was why it would take the entire day to get to the top. 

“Are there really seven thousand steps,” Anaka asked.

“That’s what I heard. You can count them,” Vorstag said, then winced when he realized there was no way he was going to listen to the girl count the entire way. “—in your head.” 

Not a cloud to be seen that morning, but as they climbed, snow appeared on the steps, making the climb slick, but at least it wasn’t steep. Sometimes they passed people praying at small altars to Kyne, known as the mother of men, the Goddess of Storm. The belief was that she carried the souls of warriors to Sovngarde after death. Vorstag didn’t believe in gods or religion. If there were benevolent gods, life wouldn’t be so harsh.

As they ascended, and the air thinned, Anaka and Lucinia slowed their pace. The thin air could be strenuous on bodies not used to it. Vorstag struggled too, his heart pounding in his chest from the exertion. The three of them were breathing harder and faster. 

“Let’s take a break. I think we need it.”

After about twenty minutes of rest, they continued up the long path. It wasn’t long before they could hear the howl of wolves. With his sword pulled out, they continued their trek. Vorstag kept a close eye out for the wolves, knowing they were close. It was risky because the creatures hunted in packs, surrounding prey. Vorstag could kill one wolf, but he may miss another that he didn’t see off to his side. The wolves would go for the girl first who was easiest of the three, so he stood near her. 

Sure enough, the howling ceased, and the growling began as the wolves circled the three of them. The girl and mage pulled out their new swords, holding them in one hand as they cast spells in another. He could hear Anaka scream as one lunged at her, but before he could react, she burned it with a well-placed fireball, dead and burned. The stink of singed fur hit the mercenary’s nostrils as he fought off another wolf. The creatures were smart as they separated him from the women. Because he had to defend himself against four of them, he had no choice but to leave the girls to protect themselves. One lunged at him, teeth bared, killing it with his sword. He cried out; the pain shooting up his arm as one bit into him with razor-like teeth going straight through his leather—another bit into his calf with the same result. 

With two hands, he thrust his sword straight into the chest of another wolf, swinging it, he decapitated another. The remaining lone wolf got wise and returned to his brothers and sisters to kill the girls. Vorstag limped after it, leaving a trail of blood, seeing the two women wave their new swords wide as the wolves inched up to them, growling, bold in their hunger. 

Dropping his sword, he pulled out his bow and fired several arrows as fast as he could, killing several wolves as the girls blasted the creatures with fire and ice. The remaining two wolves gave up the hunt, realizing they were no match for the three humans. 

“Fuck!” he yelled out, falling to a knee. Vorstag dug in his pack for a healing potion. The bites were throbbing through his leg and arm, his hands shaking as the adrenaline drained away. The warmth that spread through him was unlike a sensation he had ever felt. It was calming and soon washed away his pain. Vorstag’s sigh of relief was resonant. He looked to see Lucinia’s hands pressed on his arm wound, healing it. The furrowed brows of apprehension on her face had him wondering why she cared. When she restored his arm, she moved to his leg, healing that too.

“Why?” he asked.

“Do you always ask why when given a gift,” she said, using his own words against him. “Better?”

Vorstag moved his leg around and arm. “It feels good as new. You are good at healing. Thanks.”

“It’s one reason I am here with Ana. I specialize in Restoration Magic. I want to heal her should she get injured in our mission.”

When he looked at the mage, her eyes were so green, a light green that made her eyes almost glow against her olive skin. Her curls were a mess as usual, frizzy everywhere despite the braids. He kept staring at her, reminding him of how pretty she was. 

“What are you gawking at?” the mage asked, her cheeks turning pink at his stares.

“Sorry, I... it’s nothing,” Vorstag grunted when he got up and went to check on the girl who was sitting, watching. The worry on her face disappeared, replaced with a smile, as soon as she saw him stand, healed. 

“I’m glad you are OK, Mr. Vorstag.”

The wolves’ attacking set them back. They had to make up for lost time and Vorstag didn’t want to reach the top after dark. That path was dangerous, and not just from creatures. It wouldn’t take much to slip right off the mountainside. The higher they went, the more narrow the path. 

Even after a rest, Anaka lagged and slowed them. The mercenary sighed in annoyance, passing his pack to Lucinia. “Carry this—”

“I’m tired, I’m not—”

He squeezed his nose bridge with fingers and pulled as much patience as he could muster. “I have to carry the girl. She’s slowing us.”

“Oh,” the mage said, taking his bag, which was much heavier than hers, but she tried to endure. 

“Come, get on my back,” he ordered, crouching so Anaka could reach his back. It was awkward with a sword on his back and with her gangly legs, but he managed. The three resumed their trek up the steep mountain. 

“Thank you, Mr. Vorstag,” the girl said, pulling him in tight with her arms, resting her head on his shoulder. He grunted, sounding something akin to acknowledgment.

The sky was darkening as they neared the top. The temple was in the distance. Vorstag blew out a sigh of relief that there were no more delays. Their legs muscles burned, and their lungs were tight in the thin air. Before they entered, the three sat on some steps, caught their breaths, calmed their hearts from the exertion. Then they gulped water and had a quick bite to eat. 

“I will stay until morning, then head home. There’s no point in walking down the mountain in the dark,” Vorstag informed them.

Lucinia nodded in understanding, “Thank you for getting us up here safe and sound.” The mage dug in her bag and pulled out a sack of gold. “Here for your troubles. I wish it was more, but it’s all the gold we have.”

Vorstag reached for it, counting the coins. It was only five hundred Septim. It was plenty of gold for his troubles, but he felt like an ass taking every bit they had, even if he was the one who hunted, trained, and bought the girls weapons. Digging in the sack, he pulled out a hundred Septim to cover everything and handed the rest back to Lucinia.

“Don’t look so astonished,” he said to her stunned face. “You also shouldn’t leave your mouth hanging open like that.”

The mage snapped her jaw shut. Her shock changed to confusion. “I don’t understand.”

“I may be a brute and an asshole, but I’m not so cold-hearted to take all of your gold. You need it more than I do.”

“I knew you were a good man! See, I told you, Lucy, and you didn’t believe me!” Anaka said with a smile of triumph. 

“I stand corrected, young lady,” Lucinia laughed, unable to stop smiling at the mercenary. 

“Ugh, now don’t get doe-eyed on me. I liked you better when you were scowling.” Vorstag stood up, wiping the snow off his ass, and headed into the temple to get away from the women’s starry eyes. 

Vorstag could feel eyes on his back, but he ignored it. He didn’t want to face them and their girlish giddiness, but he wasn’t a complete asshole.

Inside, the temple wasn’t much warmer than the outside and the light was dim. Four old men ambled over as if expecting them, looking similar in black robes and long gray beards. Now the mercenary got it—Greybeards. _How original_.

One of them walked over to Anaka as if he knew who she was. He was a stern-looking man, and Anaka shrunk into Lucinia, who had her hands resting on the girl’s shoulders for comfort. Lucinia looked back at Vorstag with uncertainty. He gave nothing away as he leaned against the wall, observing.

“So... a Dragonborn appears at this moment in the age's turning. I am Master Arngeir. I speak for the Greybeards. Tell me, Dragonborn, why have you come?”

Anaka stood tall and brave, even if she didn’t feel it. “I have visions. I... I need help more than what the books tell me.”

“We are here to guide you in that pursuit. The Greybeards have sought to guide those of the Dragon Blood that came before you. Now tell us of these visions, child.”

Vorstag ate jerky and watched. Anaka told Arngeir everything she knew from the day she received the visions to the present. Arngeir explained everything regarding the Way of the Voice and how to use shouts against her enemies. Shouts were her primary power to defeat the dragon menace. 

“You will now take the first steps towards projecting your Voice into a Thu’um, a Shout. Now let us see if you are willing and able to learn. When you Shout, you speak in the language of dragons. Thus, your Dragon Blood gives you an innate ability to learn Words of Power. Shouts have three Words of Power. As you master each Word, your Shout will become stronger. Master Einarth will now teach you ‘Fus and Ro,’ the first and second Word in Unrelenting Force. Ro means ‘Balance’ in the dragon tongue. Combine it with Fus, or ‘Force’, to focus your Thu’um more with more clarity."

Vorstag observed in silence everything that was happening. The shout thing puzzled him until they cast a strange spell on the ground, watching the girl absorb the strange glowing that came from it. Then one Greybeard cast another strange spell as if his very soul was entering Anaka’s, golden light swirled in transparent-like ribbons and absorbed her body. Shocked, he stood straight, heart hammering when she said a word he didn’t recognize and saw the Greybeards stagger with her voice. The power coming from the girl left him in awe.

After heading outside in the snowy courtyard, they taught her more. Not only could she stagger an opponent, but she could move as fast as lightning. The mercenary didn’t believe she was a dragon slayer, but seeing the power come from the girl, uncertainty left him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next: Old men and their damned stories.


	4. High Hrothgar

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Not only to Lucinia and Anaka guilt Vorstag into staying (though that is only in his head), Arngeir the Greybeard isn't helping matters. Then there is the problem with two horses named Bubbles and Snowball.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! I hope you are enjoying it. I know Vorstag isn't the most popular dude around, but he brings a spark to my cold heart. I also created a character of Anaka, what I hope looks like a teen. It's not easy to do in Skyrim, but I tried. It's as close to a visual I could get.

As Anaka was training, the mercenary walked to the world’s edge and looked at the expanse below. It was dark, but Masser and Secunda hung full and cast their eerie glow on the land. In the distance, he could see Whiterun with its city lights, trying not to think about his brother, someone he hadn’t spoken to in so many years he lost count. That’s a lie. It has been eighteen years. He was familiar with his brother’s life because the man sent letters, but Vorstag never wrote back. After who knows how many letters, his brother gave up trying to reach out. He was no longer angry with his brother, those feelings long gone, but he just couldn’t bring himself to face the man after so many years. The mercenary became a loner.

Vorstag was so embattled with ghosts, he didn’t hear someone walking up to him, startled when he heard Arngeir speaking to him.

“Lovely, isn’t it? I never tire of looking at it.”

Vorstag grunted in acknowledgment, not in the mood for chitchat. He was never good with small talk.

“Did the Dragonborn tell you her visions?”

“She did.”

“Then you know why she needs you.”

Vorstag turned to the old man, filled with unexpected anger and another emotion he didn’t couldn’t place. He didn’t need anyone else trying to get him to stay. “She doesn’t need me! You saw what she can do! I... I need to go. I have things to do.” He didn’t want to do the job or think about the girl and mage. The mercenary didn’t want to fucking care. The quicker the mercenary left, the faster he could get past his growing guilt and move on with his life. It embroiled his mind with mixed emotions, cursing himself for taking the job.

“She will need more than brute strength as she grows in power. She will need—”

“What, like love, kindness? You’re looking at the wrong person. The mage can give that to her.”

“Lucinia will give the girl those necessary emotional tools, but the Anaka will need something special from you. She will need understanding from someone who appreciates what it means to sacrifice. It will force her to give up too much, hardening her.”

“Well, she won't learn that from me. I haven’t sacrificed shit,” Vorstag snapped, forcing out the unwanted memories from his mind.

Arngeir nodded in understanding. Vorstag didn’t need, want, or ask for understanding. He shrugged off the old man’s reassuring hand placed on his shoulder.

“Well, I cannot make you. It is your life, and you make your own choices. I can only tell you what I read from her visions,” the Greybeard said and left Vorstag with his personal torments.

It was late, and the mercenary struggled to sleep, tossing and turning as he always did when his past came intruding on his mind. The mounting guilt for leaving the girl behind didn’t help. _She has to stay and train for a while, anyway. She doesn’t need me_. He rubbed his face in annoyance, Vorstag gave up thoughts of sleeping and padded into the kitchen, looking for a snack.

He pulled out cheese and bread, cutting slices, grabbed several grapes, and poured himself water. There was a large table, assuming it was where the Greybeards ate their meals, sat, shoving food in his mouth. He wasn’t hungry. It was just a distraction. 

“Can’t sleep?” Arngeir asked his footsteps a whisper, startling Vorstag. He wished the old man stopped sneaking up on him. The man was a fucking ghost.

“I guess,” he shrugged, not looking at him.

The Greybeard sat next to the mercenary and poured himself water from a pitcher. “You’re leaving in the morning, then?”

“Yep.” _Eating_.

“Can I tell you a story?”

_Shrugging. Biting_. _Eating._ Vorstag could sense a lecture coming on, trying to fold into himself.

“A young man came to stay here once, full of promise and intelligence. He wasn’t the Dragonborn as our Anaka, but he had an undeniable talent with the Way of the Voice. That boy carried the weight of the world on his shoulders. Both the boy and Anaka have so much responsibility and so much power. I tried to keep him here, but war is a tricky thing. For some people, it instills fear. For others, it’s about glory—manhood. The boy wanted the glory of battle.”

_Eating_. 

“Instead, what he found was pain, suffering, and death. Because he lost his father and had no one to help him cope with that pain and his mounting responsibilities, it chipped away at him. At first, it was as a slow drip, nothing to trouble oneself with, but after a while, that slow drip became louder and louder in the mind until it drove him mad. Without support, understanding, kindness—those responsibilities became burdens resulting in poor judgments. It created a vicious cycle. That young man grew up bitter. The weight on his shoulders became too much to bear, so he ran from it, starting a war of his own, and called it freedom.”

“I’m unable to give that to her.”

Arngeir shrugged, “And I’m just telling you a story. You should try to rest. It is a long way to the bottom of the mountain. There is also a storm coming.”

“Shor’s fucking ass,” Vorstag grunted when the Greybeard walked away, shoving his food aside, losing what little appetite he had. 

The snow was floating to the ground in thick clumps when he stepped outside in the courtyard the next morning. He never got to sleep, lost in Arngeir’s story, tormented on what to do. He liked it better when he was just drinking, fucking, and killing bandits. Life was simpler that way. He ambled over to the edge of the mountain. He looked out at the frozen horizon, seeing nothing but a flurry of white. He pulled his cloak tighter around him; the snow dusting his hair. Vorstag could hear the crunching snow of someone walking toward him, but he didn’t turn to face the person. The light footsteps were of someone small, a woman, Lucinia.

“You’re still here,” she said. “I thought you left when I didn’t see you in the temple.” Lucinia tried to sound casual, but her voice hinted at surprise, or maybe it was relief.

“I’m staying,” he said before heading back inside, not wanting to talk or see fucking doe eyes again. He knew when Anaka found out, her excitement would be overwhelming. _Fuck, what am I doing? Fucking Arngeir and his fucking story!_

Anaka came barreling at him with a wide smile as she giggled. Vorstag tried to back away from the girlish assault charging him like a bull, but a stone wall blocked his escape route. Spindly arms wrapped around him, her face against his chest as the girl bounced. “I knew it! I knew you would stay! Thank you, Mr. Vorstag!”

The mercenary patted her head, then pried the girl off of him. He wasn’t used to affection from anyone, let alone from children. “Yeah, well, your visions stink, and the mage can’t even fight off a ferocious kitten, so…”

Lucina scoffed, her face blended with annoyance and humor. “Says the man who can’t even handle a simple hug from a little girl.”

“Little girls are more dangerous than trolls or bandits.”.

“You’re so silly, Mr. Vorstag!” Anaka laughed with a playful whack on his arm.

“If I am staying, then we need to talk about some things—rules.”

Anaka nodded. “Anything.”

The mercenary looked over at Lucinia to see what she thought, but she just stood there, arms folded, leaning against the wall. Her face told him nothing, so he pressed forward. At least there were no objections.

“I assume this will be a... long journey. We can’t do this if we don’t have the gold to survive. That means I need to work sometimes, to take periodic jobs to bring in gold—”

“We will go with you!” Anaka said.

“No, they are extremely dangerous, and as Arngeir and Lucinia have said, you are too important. There is too much risk a bandit will kill you—”

“I have to train hands-on. How can I be a warrior like you if I don’t use what you teach me?” the girl said with too much intellect.

“Will you stop interrupting me! We will talk more about that later. You need training first, regardless. Now for the second issue. We need to find a temporary home, a place you two can stay while I work and I don’t have to... worry.”

More hugs assaulted Vorstag, the girl bouncing again. “You worry about us?”

He groaned in annoyance as he plucked the girl off of him again. “I just don’t want you dying on my watch. I need to maintain my reputation.”

“Well, well, ‘Mr. Vorstag.’ Don’t tell me you are starting to care,” Lucinia said, trying to mask her smiles. She was enjoying his discomfort way too much.

Unable to come up with a retort, he just grunted in annoyance. “Anyway, you both have to train twice as hard and do everything I tell you. I don’t want any arguments. You both learn how to defend yourselves. We will spend our free time studying the sword and bow. Magic isn’t always enough.”

“I promise,” the girl yelled in her excitement.

“Then we need to get you both some proper light armor. Those shitty robes will not protect you. I will return to Markarth tomorrow while you all stay here. I need to collect the rest of my payment and other gold I have saved. We will need it.”

“I want to go with you,” Anaka whined.

“No, it will be faster with me on horseback. I will be back before you finish with your training here. No arguments, remember?”

“Fine.”

“Where are we going to live? What city were you thinking?” Lucinia asked.

The mercenary decided where, but he didn’t want to nor like it. They needed to be near the Greybeards should they need them, but there were no homes available in Ivarstead. Riverwood and Helgen were the next nearest towns and were too small to find work, so it has to be Whiterun—where his brother and his family lived. It was the best solution and the worst idea, not wanting to face his brother. Perhaps it was inevitable. Vorstag figured he couldn’t avoid his brother forever, though he tried. The girl was more important than his feelings.

“Whiterun.”

Two days later, Vorstag returned to his own stomping grounds of Markarth. It was surprising he wasn’t sad about leaving it and starting a new home elsewhere. He wanted to settle in another city other than Whiterun, but it was necessary. Markarth just had nothing to offer him. He headed to his room at the Silver-Blood inn. He packed up his meager belongings, paid his balance to Kleppr, who implored the mercenary to stay, not wanting to lose the gold. 

“Are you sure you want to leave after two years?” Kleppr asked. “This is your home.”

“Not anymore. I have an extended job and need a more centralized location. I’m moving to Whiterun.”

“Where your brother lives?”

“Yeah.”

“I thought—”

“I’m not talking about this with you, Kleppr. I realize you will miss the gold, but I have to leave.”

Vorstag said goodbye to his acquaintances then headed to the Hag’s Cure. He needed to speak with Muri and get the remaining gold she owed him. Inside, she was dusting bottles of different shapes and colors. Everyone knew the alchemist, Bothela, was a witch and dabbled in the more obscure potions. People came to her far and wide, appreciating her discretion and creations.

“Muri,” he said.

The small Breton turned around, her stomach just starting to protrude in her pregnancy. She pulled the mercenary to her room and closed the door. “I don’t want Bothela to hear,” she explained. “I received your letter. It’s done then?”

“Yes. He was tough to defeat, but it’s done.”

“Did he die like the coward he is?”

“He was brave, bastard, or not.” Vorstag didn’t bother telling her that Alain appeared to care about her pregnancy. Telling her would only hurt the woman. She needed no more pain.

Muri handed him another sack of gold. “Here’s what I owe you.”

“Thanks.”

“Are you sure I can’t talk you into doing the other job for me?”

“I have another job to do.” Vorstag was not going to kill the daughter and give that family even more grief. The young woman was crazy. They lost one daughter, robbed, and now Muri wanted him to kill their last daughter. “I think it’s time you moved on and forget that family. You have a child coming. Imagine someone trying to kill it for revenge.” He hadn’t meant to scold her. It wasn’t as if he was a good man, but he still didn’t kill innocents.

Muri rubbed her growing belly and nodded. “Maybe you’re right.”

Vorstag went to the stables to buy two of them. The owner gave him a discount for buying two horses instead of one, but it still took a bite out of his savings. He hoped he could find more work in Whiterun; otherwise, he would run out of gold.

He loaded both horses, and got onto one, pulling the other behind him, heading back to High Hrothgar.

The charging bull came at him, as she did the last time. Vorstag had nowhere else to go, accepting the brunt of affection from the girl. He gave her a brief hug with great reluctance, then pushed her away. The mercenary couldn’t figure out why the girl liked him so much. He was an asshole and he knew it, not always treating her with kindness.

When Anaka skipped off, the mercenary had a sheepish face and shrugged at Lucinia. “I don’t know what she sees in me.”

“I don’t either. Well, I do, but I still don’t get it. Ana has visions of you, and she tells me everything.”

“Visions of what?”

“Kindness, affection, love from you.”

“As I said before, her visions suck.”

Lucinia laughed. “Well, she’s correct most of the time, though I have to admit, she may be off about you. I struggle to see any affection from you, but I can’t deny, despite your brooding, you have been kind. I know, I know… Gods forbid someone say you are kind, but you made a choice, and you stayed without the reward of gold at the end. If that isn’t kind, I don’t know what is.” The mage left before Vorstag could argue as he stewed on her words. 

“They don’t know what they’re talking about,” he muttered.

The mercenary headed outside to watch Anaka train with the Greybeards to see how she was progressing. Leaning against the wall next to Arngeir, he watched the girl practice. He had to admit her power amazed him. If she could master the shouts, the sword, and magic, she could be unstoppable. 

A Greybeard came at Anaka with a sword in his hand, raised to attack as she shouted words Vorstag didn’t recognize. To the mercenary’s amazement, the Shout disarmed the old man as she did another shout that staggered him backward, away from his weapon.

“That’s useful,” Vorstag said to Arngeir.

“The girl is like a sea sponge, absorbing and learning everything we have thrown at her. I have never had the honor of training a Dragonborn, so to see her in action leaves me in awe and envious. It took my entire life to master the Way of the Voice. She takes mere minutes to learn a shout.”

“Everyone keeps telling me she’s special.”

“That she is. It is why we have trained her more than other students.” Arngeir turned to look at Vorstag. The old man had something to say, and judging by his face, the mercenary wasn’t going to like it. “I think she should stay here. This is a rare occasion, and she should live her life in peace and meditation. I’m against using the Voice as a weapon against others.”

“That’s not up to me. Isn’t Anaka supposed to save our world?”

“Perhaps we shouldn’t save it—let the black dragon have it. We can’t stop the inevitable.”

Vorstag scoffed, “It’s easy for you to say stuck up here in your palace in the mountains. You’re in the real world where people suffer. I doubt Anaka will want to stay here while her home burns and her family dies from dragons.” 

He despised people like Arngeir, who was so secluded, tucked away from everything. The Greybeards don’t hear the cries of mothers whose children die or see the men dying from senseless war. They don’t see starvation, disease, and poverty. Vorstag wasn’t a saint, but at least he understood how bad life could be. If he didn’t care at all, he would be at the inn drinking, fucking, and not helping anyone, gold or no gold.

“She needs more training,” Arngeir said.

“That’s obvious, but she’s not staying here to live in isolation. She will fight you on this, of that, I am sure. If it is not in her visions, she will refuse to stay.”

“You may be right,” the old man nodded, not arguing. “There is one more thing. The more she sees, the more pain she will suffer. You know this better than anyone. Anaka is very innocent. Be prepared for that. She has a heavy weight on her shoulders, and though she cannot feel it now, she will. It will fill Anaka with power, and if the darkness reaches her, she won’t be saving anyone.”

Vorstag gave the man a curt nod, hearing him. He wasn’t sure he could give the girl any proverbial light, but at least she had Lucinia for that, as much as the mage annoyed him. All he could give the girl is his experience.

He looked over at Anaka as she smiled and waved at him. “Look what I can do, Mr. Vorstag!”

She spoke her strange words, and her body moved in a blur and stopped on the other side, waving in the distance. “That’s amazing,” Vorstag yelled, meaning what he said.

“Can you tell me more about this Voice?” he asked Arngeir.

“Our Anaka is part dragon, in a way. Dragons have the innate talent to learn and project their voice. They can absorb the power of their slain brethren. A few mortals are born with similar abilities. For centuries it was debated if it was a gift or a curse. When Anaka kills her first dragon, she will absorb its soul and build her Words of Power. Each shout has three words to master. Once she masters three, the Shout becomes stronger. The girl can learn a word, but she won’t be able to use its power until she absorbs dragon souls, for the words are for dragons only.

Dragons have always been able to Shout. Language is intrinsic to their very being. In dragon tongue, there is no difference between debating and fighting. Shouts are as natural to a dragon as breathing or speaking. In mythic times, when mortal kind was in great need, the goddess Kynareth granted us the ability to speak as dragons do. For most people, it requires long years of training to learn even the simplest Shout. But for Anaka, the dragon speech is in her blood.”

Vorstag tried to wrap his head around what the old man was saying. He had yet to see a dragon and struggled to believe it. “How many Shouts has she learned so far?”

“Just a few words. Anaka will learn more in her travels. The fastest way is to find Word Walls spread throughout Skyrim, found in Nordic ruins—the more she finds, the more souls she absorbs from slain dragons, the stronger she becomes.”

“How do we find these ruins? They aren’t on our maps.” Vorstag knew of a few ruins, but it wasn’t often he ventured in them as most were very dangerous. If they were to go into them, the women needed more training.

“I have a map you can have. I am glad you stayed. The Dragonborn will need your protection. These ruins can be dangerous. In fact, I plan to send Anaka on a mission that we will discuss tonight at dinner,” Arngeir said.

After his conversation with the old man, Vorstag watched the girl for a while and her power. Though she was annoying, as he watched her, he couldn’t help the flood of memories that hit him. A deep breath helped push them down to where they belonged. They would reach the surface soon enough when he saw his brother.

It was their last night before leaving for Whiterun, so they all sat together with the Greybeards for their last meal.

“Thank you for instructing me, Mr. Arngeir,” Anaka said.

“You are welcome, child. Come back anytime to learn or just get away from life for a while, though I rather you stay here to live, train, meditate, and learn as we learn.”

“I can’t do that. My visions lead me elsewhere. I can’t fight dragons hiding away. I have to be ready for the battle with the great black dragon I keep seeing. He scares me, but I have to get stronger, and Mr. Vorstag will help me.” The confidence in which the girl spoke of the mercenary left him with worry that he might fail her. The weight on his shoulders was as heavy as Anakas.

“As you wish, but I need to discuss with the three of you. To welcome Anaka into the Greybeards, she must travel to Ustengrav, an ancient Nordic ruin located northeast of Morthal. You are to retrieve the Horn of Jurgen Windcaller. Think of it as a test.”

There it was. Vorstag wondered when the old man would get to the point and send Anaka on her first mission. Vorstag was against the idea, not wanting to head into dangerous ruins while she was still untrained. “Who’s this Jurgen?” he asked.

“He was a great war leader of the ancient Nords, a master of the Voice, or Tongue. After the disaster at Red Mountain, where the Nord army was annihilated, he spent many years pondering terrible defeat. He realized that the gods had punished the Nords for their arrogant and blasphemous misuse of the Voice. He was the first to understand that we should use the Voice for the Gods’ glory and worship, not the glory of men. Jurgen Windcaller’s mastery of the Voice overcame all opposition, and the Way of the Voice was born.”

“Thanks for the history lesson, but why does she need to bring back a stupid horn?”

If there was irritation or impatience with the mercenary, Arngeir gave no sign. “Again, it is only a test. She will need to master the few shouts we have given her to get through the ruins unscathed. If she reaches the horn and returns it to us, she will have proven her mastery and will be ready for us to give her more Words.”

Vorstag shoved his meager dinner in his mouth, not liking the mission. He would be there to protect her, but even he didn’t delve into ruins without a substantial fee. “I need to train her more, then I will take her,” he said, his mouth full of food.

“Well, this will prove interesting! I have never been to ancient ruins before. My college has an excavation site in Saarthal, but I haven’t been in it yet,” Lucinia said after being mute for the entire discussion.

“Don’t get too excited. These places are dangerous—full of draugr, frost spiders, killing skeletons, and worse.”

“Oh, I am sure I can handle a few draugrs.”

Vorstag scoffed, “Lady, you... never mind.” He intended to make fun of her magic skills, but he wasn’t in the mood, ignoring her confused face that he kept his mouth shut. 

It was hard enough to be tied down with a woman and child, and not even get paid for it. He was taking on this new family, which was the last thing he wanted. Families were hard, families were broken, families hurt. He didn’t want to care. Kindness and caring led to pain, and that was the truth of the matter. 

“Well, you must be in a mood if you can’t even make fun of me and my abilities,” the mage said.

“Whatever. We are packing after dinner and heading out very early down the mountain. I have two horses waiting for us.”

“Wow, two horses? Can I name them?” Anaka asked.

“I don’t care... why not?”

As soon as Vorstag answered, he regretted his decision as the girl got up and gave him a tight hug around his neck. “You’re... choking...”

“Oops, sorry!” she giggled and skipped off to her room to pack.

Arngeir chuckled at the girl’s reaction. “Embrace it, Mr. Vorstag. It won’t be long before the light dims inside of her.”

Vorstag looked at the girl running off, knowing all too well what the Greybeard meant.

They made it to the bottom of the mountain before sunset. The trek was always easier going down than up. After Lucinia and Anaka cleaned up, it was his turn to soak in the tub at the inn. It had been too long since he bathed, unable to handle his own stink any longer. The hot, steaming water infused with flowers he didn’t recognize was too feminine for him, but it was better than smelling like sweat and wet dog, or a dead troll as Lucinia so eloquently put it. As his muscles relaxed, he made a mental list of the things he had to do, finding a home at the top of it. 

Vorstag couldn’t be in Whiterun without running into his brother, so he had to go to his house and talk to him. It would be awkward, and maybe his brother was so sick of being ignored that he won’t want to talk. It would be for the better, but he doubted it would happen that way. If his brother was anything, he was tenacious.

Anaka ran off to the stables the next morning to look at the horse as he and Lucinia strolled close behind. 

“Despite your brooding bravado, you are good to the girl,” Lucinia said.

“Don’t read too much into it.”

“You are helping her, and me, for free. I will read a lot into it, I’m afraid.”

“Yeah, well... I had nothing better to do,” Vorstag said, trotting off. He didn’t want them to see him as kind. He wasn’t kind, he just felt guilty. That didn’t make him a good man. There’s a difference between the two. All of them guilted him into this babysitting job. Anaka, Lucinia, Arngeir all looked at him as if he was the solver of their problems. Vorstag didn’t want to be pushed into something, the guilt forced upon. 

Did they push him? Wasn’t his own guilt growing just fine on its own by leaving the woman and girl? He knew deep inside if he didn’t stay with them, they would die. He was as sure of it as the nose on his face. Shit, even he could die. It wasn’t as if he was immortal, not having an ounce of magic. All he had was a lifetime of training and the sword on his back.

The mercenary wondered what life would be like had his mother and father lived... no, he would not think about it. He shoved his past deep down where it belonged, saddled the horses, and packed them with their belongings. Anaka got on the Palomino with Lucinia while Vorstag got on the white stallion. “Got names for them yet?” he asked the girl.

“Yep! This one is Bubbles—”

“Of course, it is,” he sighed. 

“And yours is Snowball,” she giggled.

“Great. A couple of pussy names,” he muttered, but the mage heard him, anyway.

“Vorstag! Language,” Lucinia admonished.

“Fine. They are... adorable names.”

“Thanks!”

“Well, come on then... Snowball.” He said the name like a foul taste in his mouth, taking off at a trot, trying to ignore the laughing woman riding behind him.

“Laugh it up, mage. You’re on a horse named ‘Bubbles.’”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let me know what you think in the comments below.
> 
> Next: Dragons and Estranged Families


	5. Ghosts of the Past

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Vorstag, Lucinia, and Anaka come face to face with Alduin in Helgen, but it deemed Anaka, the Dragonborn, unworthy. They move on to Whiterun and Vorstag's past has finally caught up with him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Helgen isn't really canon unless you think of the mod Live Another Life. You arrive in Helgen to trigger the dragon quests.

The girl filled the horseback ride around the mountain with incessant chattering and questions. Vorstag gritted his teeth every time Anaka opened her mouth. He took deep breaths and reminded himself she was just a kid, but he wasn’t used to kids or being shot at with a never-ending stream of questions. No one before wanted to pry so much into his life. The headache coming on was like a stream that flowed into rushing waters, growing stronger as it went. He snipped at her more than once, but still, she prattled on. As usual, Lucinia was no help with her chuckling behind his back at his annoyance, though she scolded him when he cursed in his irritation.

The relief he felt when she fell asleep had him near tears. He supposed it was Lucinia’s turn to pummel him with questions now that the girl was sleeping, giving everyone else a chance to talk. She rode up side by side, looking at him with a combined amusement and something else he couldn’t figure out. 

“Not you too,” he said, not bothering to hide his annoyance.

“I’m still trying to figure you out, mercenary.”

“Figure what out? I’m a children’s book with pictures.”

“I think you are more complicated than you are implying.”

“Why do you and Anaka have to poke and prod into my life? You two are like little sticks poking the bear.”

Lucinia raised an eyebrow, looking at him as if he was an idiot. Perhaps he was. He had to be traveling with a woman and a child with no gold to show for it. “You are traveling with two people, one being an inquisitive teen for an indefinite amount of time. Why would we not want to get to know our traveling companion, our protector? Shouldn’t we learn as much as we can about you, so we learn to work as a team? Because that is what we are, regardless of whether you like it or not.”

She was right. If they had to work together to survive, they needed to understand each other. That didn’t mean he liked one bit of it. “Tell you what. Put that magic finger of yours on my head to get rid of the raging headache I have caused by that chattering Riekling sleeping over there, and I will try to answer a few questions.”

Lucinia placed a soft hand on his forehead and cast her healing spell, moaning in relief as the pain washed away. When her hand dropped away, she asked, “What happened to you?”

“What do you mean, what happened?” But he understood what she was asking, answering her question with a question, stalling for the inevitable. He figured she would learn the truth anyway when he reached his brother.

“You know what I mean. Stop pretending you are clueless. You pretend to be unfeeling and heartless, and while you may be that way sometimes, you have good inside you. I may not have a lifetime of experience as you do, and somewhat naïve being locked away at the College all my life, but I’m not stupid either.”

Vorstag looked at the road ahead of him, trying to ignore her. As they dropped in altitude, the mountains gave way to the thickening of pines and vegetation, with warmer temperatures. “It’s a long story,” he said, still procrastinating.

“We have plenty of time before we reach Whiterun.”

“Fuck, fine. I guess you will find out soon enough. My mother died giving birth to my youngest sister, Ulla—”

“I’m so sorry.”

“Are you going to let me tell this story, or are you going to keep interrupting me?”

“Sorry…”

“Shit… I hate talking about this crap. Anyway, Mother died and Ulla, well, something happened to her. As she was being born, something happened. It left her feeble. She was beautiful, bright, always smiling…” Anaka was similar to Ulla, but he kept that part to himself. “But her mental capacity was slow. She wasn't able to take care of herself. I... I loved her.” Vorstag shoved the emotions deep to where they belonged, not to be easily opened. It still hurt after all these years. He still felt the pain of it, but he didn’t want to show the mage. Lucinia could learn his story, but she didn’t get to have his pain. 

He must have been quiet for too long as the mage interrupted his thoughts. “I’m assuming your sister died.”

Vorstag looked at her, giving her a curt nod. “Father went off to war to bring in coin. He earned more gold as a soldier than as a miner. Mother farmed, bringing in extra gold, but she was dead.”

“How old were you when your mother died?”

“Young, around five. I don’t remember her. There are vague and blurry images of her in my mind, but not much else. Anyway, Father died several years after the war. It surprised us he lived through it, to be honest, but he stayed on as a soldier to die somewhere in Cyrodiil. We never knew what happened. The letter just said he was brave when he died. He left us to fend for ourselves. I must have been thirteen, around Anaka’s age.”

He sighed in relief as Lucinia remained silent, letting him tell his story without interruption and questions.

“My brother Jolf was four years older and left my sister and me behind to find work. He left for two years. There was no word, no coin, nothing. I thought he died, and I had to take care of my sister, hunting, growing food as best I could. We didn’t have gold to buy things we needed. I could only keep us fed. I didn’t want to leave her to find work myself. Ulla wasn’t able to take care of herself. Gods, she was beautiful, always so happy… fuck! I can’t talk about this.”

Vorstag trotted off, not able to face the mage. If he talked about his dead sister anymore, the emotions would be too heavy, so he couldn’t finish his story. Lucinia must have sensed it because she didn’t press him. The primary reason he struggled with the girl wasn’t that she reminded him of her sister. It was that he saw himself in the girl. He used to have a bright light as Anaka did, but it got snuffed out the day his sister died. He spent years blaming his brother for her death.

Because the group had horses, they made good time in their travels. Anaka had woken up, but Lucinia must have said something to the girl because she was blessedly quiet and didn’t ask the mercenary any more questions. It was just as well because the closer he got to Whiterun, the sourer his mood became, not wanting to face his brother.

“We can stop in Helgen at the inn there and grab a bite to eat before we head back out. Riverwood has an inn where we can stay the night. By tomorrow, early evening, we should be in Whiterun,” he explained. 

Helgen soon came into view, but it wasn’t the Helgen they were expecting. They couldn’t see much in the distance other than smoke, as if it engulfed the town in fire. They spurred their horses, rushing to the village, then halted their horses. High in the sky was a great winged dragon flying away. 

Anaka screamed, terror in her eyes. “It’s him! No, no, I can’t do this! I’m not ready!”

The dragon must have heard her scream because it turned and headed straight for them. Vorstag drew his sword and saw Lucinia conjure a bow, ready to fire at the creature. “Get ready!” he shouted.

But the black dragon didn’t attack. He hovered over the trio. The gusts from his massive wings were like a storm as it hit them with debris. _Why isn’t it attacking?_ Vorstag couldn’t believe a dragon was hovering over them, taunting. The thing was massive. His heart thundered in his chest. If it terrified him, and he couldn’t imagine what the girls were feeling. He believed everything Anaka had told him at that moment.

_“Ahst tiid. Hi Ni balaan,”_ the dragon said and flew off, roaring in the distance.

Vorstag looked at Lucinia and Anaka to see their fear. He was sure his eyes mirrored their own terror. “Are you OK?”

Anaka’s lip quivered as she tried not to cry. “He said, ‘In time. I’m not worthy,’ meaning we will have our day to face each other. He is saying I’m not worth his time. Not yet, anyway. I don’t understand how I sensed what he said. His words just translated in my head. I’m not ready. I’m so scared.”

“Believe me, I’m well-versed in fighting, but even I’m terrified,” he admitted. “Nearly pissed myself.” He winked at Anaka to let her know that he wouldn’t back down or leave her, no matter how afraid he was. He wanted to let her know it was OK for her to be scared. It didn’t make one a coward. It was the first time he found happiness in the reassuring smile she gave him, despite her fear. His sister did that when she was alive—smile even when things were dire.

“Let’s go.”

They trotted off into Helgen to find any survivors. Lucinia explained she could heal some people while they were there. But when they entered through the enormous gates, bodies were everywhere, burned. There wasn’t a cry or a whimper to be heard. The only sounds were roaring fires burning down the remaining homes and buildings.

“Shor’s ass…” he muttered.

Jumping off their horses, they looked around. It didn’t appear to be any survivors. Since there wasn’t anything they could do, they moved on to Riverwood. The horrible scene removed any hunger they had. 

“I want to ride with you, Mr. Vorstag,” Anaka said, reaching up for him when he got on Snowball. She tried to hold back the tears, but some slipped out and trailed down her face. Normally, it would irritate him and he would argue, but he had this need to reassure her, protect her. 

When she sat next to him, she started weeping, unable to hold it back anymore. Vorstag looked over at Lucinia, who was watching the girl with her own tears. He couldn’t take crying women and normally cringed at them, but he understood why they were so upset at that moment. The people of Helgen didn’t stand a chance. The mercenary wrapped an arm around the girl as she turned to cry into his chest. 

“It’s OK,” he whispered.

“It’s not OK. So many people dead…” she wept.

“I meant it is fine for you to feel the way you do.”

Anaka looked up at him with those blue eyes, red from crying, but soon filled with hope, confidence, and trust. _Please don’t look at me like that_. The girl reached up and touched his face with his large red tattoo. “You’re a good man,” she said and turned away. All that Arngeir had talked to him about Anaka losing her light came flooding into his mind. If anything could snuff out the light, it was an abundance of unnecessary death. It was shit like this that he didn’t believe in the Gods.

Despite the death and chaos of Helgen, Riverwood was an oasis. At least the dragon didn’t destroy the tiny village. Vorstag had to admit he worried about it but didn’t convey his fears to the women. They stabled the horses off at the stables, they walked the rest of the way to the Sleeping Giant Inn for food and rest. 

The woman nagging at the innkeeper reminded him of home, Frabbi, and Kleppr, giving him a strange homesickness. They ordered rooms and dinner and sat at a table in silence, unsure what to say after Helgen. He should have been grateful for it. Vorstag wished for silence since the day he met Anaka and Lucinia. Now he wanted Anaka to prattle on and Lucinia to nag him—anything to take his mind off of Helgen.

“Are you both holding up OK?” he asked.

“I’m still raw after seeing that death in Helgen and… that dragon was big. I... I don’t know how we…” Lucinia stopped herself. He assumed because the mage didn’t want to scare the already frightened girl.

Anaka wasn’t smiling, but she held her head up high as she looked at him. “I’m better. It was a shock at first.” The girl put a reassuring hand on Lucinia’s shoulder. “We can do it. We will work hard to train, practice every day. Mr. Vorstag will help us be as good as he is, and we will defeat the dragon.”

Vorstag hoped she didn’t put too much faith in his abilities. He was strong, but a dragon killer he was not. 

By the next morning, the entire village was abuzz with talk of dragons, their return, and what it meant for Skyrim. As they headed out, a woman stopped them and asked if they were traveling towards Whiterun. Vorstag informed them they were. 

“Please let the Jarl of Whiterun know what is happening in his hold. He has to know dragons are lurking in the mountains,” said the blonde Nord woman.

“We will,” said Anaka.

“As soon as we reach Whiterun, we need to let the Jarl know what is going on. I’m not sure what he can do, but at least he can send soldiers to Riverwood. The people are defenseless here,” Lucinia said.

“Aye. Good idea,” the mercenary agreed. It would also be a delay in facing his brother. He was all for that.

It wasn’t yet sunset when they saw Whiterun in the distance as they came down the hill. Dragonsreach, where the Jarl lived, was huge, almost reaching the sky. The city within the walls looked safe enough, but with the rise of dragons, no walls would hold back flying creatures. Vorstag envisioned a dragon flying overhead, burning the city to the ground, killing all its people like Helgen. It felt like the end of times.

“Oh, what a nice city,” yelled out Anaka, back in little girl mode. “Is that Whiterun?”

“It is,” he replied.

“I look forward to seeing it. I have traveled little, but the last city we were in was Windhelm, which I didn’t much care for. But Whiterun looks much more inviting,” Lucinia said. “I wouldn’t mind getting something new to wear. This robe leaves something to be desired.”

“We will get you armor while we are here,” he said.

“Anaka and I need dresses too, some nightclothes. We can’t live in our armor, mercenary.”

“Shor’s beard, you women are expensive,” he huffed. “Fine. Let’s just hope there’s work for me.”

He should have known. When Vorstag made the decision to protect the women, he should have known it would cost him. His jobs brought in money, not take it away. But with his decision made, it was too late to turn back now. Not that he would abandon them. 

They dropped off Snowball and Bubbles at the stables and walked the rest of the way into town. When the three reached the city’s gates, the guards, spears blocking their way stopped them.

“Why have you stopped us?” Vorstag asked.

“By order of the Jarl, no one is to enter or leave the city gates while there is a dragon about,” the guard said.

“So he knows. That is why we are here. We have seen the dragon and give him the details of what we witnessed. Let us pass.”

“Very well, but mind yourselves why you are in the city.”

Guards were always flaunting their authority.

“Whatever…” he muttered. “As if a dragon is going to knock on the city gates.”

Despite the encroaching evening and a dragon lurking, the people of Whiterun went about their busy lives. The city was alive with activity. A female blacksmith was hammering away on a sword, a hunter walked in the gates hauling his pelts and meat to sell, vendors still in the market square selling their wares. Children were running about, and Vorstag heard Anaka giggle, saying hello to the children as they passed. 

A circular garden with a massive dead tree in the middle greeted them after climbing up a small flight of stone stairs. The tree must have been beautiful at one time. He has been to Whiterun and knew Jorrvaskr was on the right where the famous Companions lived. If he had the coin, he would hire them to help train Lucinia and Anaka, but he had to save every bit until he could earn more. He was skilled enough to be a Companion, but he was a loner. 

There was a giant statue of Talos gleaming in the waning light and a priest ranting and raving about Talos. He ignored the man as they made their way up another long flight of steps leading to a small bridge over water and fountains to Dragonsreach.

Vorstag stopped before they entered the large carved doors of the longhouse, facing Anaka. “Look, I’m here for protection and to train you. You are the Dragonborn. I will train you to fight, but you need to learn to talk to people like the Jarl. This is as good a time as any to get used to it—learn to be a leader. I want you to talk to Jarl Balgruuf.”

“What do I say,” she asked, retreating into herself as shyness appeared. 

“Why are you being shy now? You are the biggest chattering Riekling I have ever known. You tell him who you are and your story about your visions, whatever you want, but most importantly, you tell him what we saw in Helgen.”

“I’m... I don’t want…”

“Look, Anaka, I’m not some savior. I’m a nobody, a mercenary. You are the important one. He needs to know and understand that. I don’t want the Jarl turning to me for advice and help. That is your job.”

Anaka nodded, clenching her fists, and raised her chin as if she could pull in bravery out of thin air. The girl nodded, then looked to the mage for support.

“You can do it, sweetheart,” Lucinia said. “Show the Jarl how smart you are.”

Anaka opened the great doors and entered the large and open building. Wide carved pillars standing like guards lined the entryway, and up a flight of steps was a massive roaring fire surrounded by long tables and dozens of chairs. Beyond the fire sat the Jarl in a debate with a balding man, arguing about something.

When Anaka approached, a beautiful Dunmer woman in gilded Elven armor approached, drawing her sword, blocking the way. On instinct, Vorstag drew his sword and stood in front of the girl.

“What is the meaning of this interruption,” the elf demanded. 

“She’s just a child. Back off.” Vorstag stood his ground, sensing the hostility pouring off the woman. “We need to speak to the Jarl about the dragon.”

The Dunmer woman looked at the three of them. Nodding, she sheathed her sword, still untrusting, but she backed off. “You may speak.”

Vorstag nudged Anaka forward to speak. Jarl Balgruuf had his eyes on the mercenary rather than the girl. Children were so easily dismissed, but Vorstag said nothing, giving Anaka a chance to speak.

Anaka bowed in front of the Jarl, then stood up straight. _Good girl_. “I am Anaka. I come to let you know we were in Helgen when the dragon attacked. We didn’t see the attack, but we saw the dragon. He was big and black and… He spoke to me—”

“Why would a dragon speak to a little girl?” the Jarl asked.

“I may not look like much, but I’m the Dragonborn and have been training with the Greybeards.”

Jarl Balgruuf scrutinized the girl in silence, but the mercenary looked more like a dragon killer than a girl. Anaka must have sensed his doubt, just as Vorstag did when he first met her. “I can prove it,” she said.

“How?”

“If you allow me to touch you, I can show you. I can shout like dragons, but I don’t want to hurt anyone.”

“Now wait one second,” the Dunmer spoke up, placing a hand on her sword’s hilt, but stopped when the Jarl raised a hand to silence her.

“How can you show me?”

“I can show you my visions.”

“Visions? All right. I will allow it.”

Anaka walked up to the Jarl, wary of the Dunmer woman, and grabbed Balgruuf’s hand. Her eyes rolled into her head as did the Jarl’s as he received all that happened and will happen. The girl released his hand and stepped away, allowing the man to process what he had seen.

“Talos have mercy,” he said. “But you are so young. How are you to stop ancient creatures?”

Anaka shrugged and looked at Vorstag, then Lucinia. “They will help me, but I do not know if I can stop them. I only know that it is my destiny to try. Despite what I am, Riverwood needs help. The dragon destroyed Helgen and killed everyone. You must be ready for another attack.”

Jarl Balgruuf nodded at the girl and looked at the elf woman. “Irileth, send some troops to Riverwood at once.”

“Right away, my Jarl.” She bowed and rushed off to do her duty.

“Please speak with my Court Wizard, Farengar. He has been researching dragons and has a need for someone who can help him with his research. Perhaps you can offer him something I cannot.”

“We will speak with him,” Anaka said and bowed.

Vorstag addressed the Steward when they were finished talking with the Jarl. He was a small, balding Breton man. “Are there any houses for sale around here?”

“There is one house inside the city limits, next to the Blacksmith. I can sell it to you for five thousand Septim,” he said.

“Five thousand? That much?” Vorstag tried not to choke at the insane cost of a house. He never owned a home, so he did not understand how much they were. “I guess that will have to wait for a while then. Do you have any jobs?”

“Yes, Whiterun has a bandit menace.” The Steward handed Vorstag a few scrolls. “Take these. They have all the information you need to find them. Clear out the bandits, then return to me, and we will pay you.”

Vorstag took the scrolls with a curt nod and walked off to the woman waiting for him near the Court Wizard.

“Go ahead, Anaka. Talk to the Wizard. You’re doing great,” he reassured her.

The Court Wizard wanted to send them to retrieve something called a Dragonstone in Bleak Falls Barrow, an ancient Nordic ruin back in Riverwood. A dangerous quest Anaka was not ready for.

“Forget it. It’s too dangerous,” Vorstag said as he pulled Anaka to leave.

The girl yanked back from his grasp, hands on her hips, her face stubborn, “Do you want me to lead or not? You make me face the Jarl telling me I have to learn to be the Dragonborn, now you don’t want me to do what I must. Decide, Mr. Vorstag. You and Lucinia will be there to help me. But this Wizard needs help, and maybe we can get more answers and an idea of what to expect from these dragons.”

Vorstag pinched his nose as if it would give him patience, then the girl grabbed his hand, looking up at him. “I am glad you care about me, but we can do this,” she said, her tone soft and calming.

“She’s right, you know. I don’t want to see harm come to Ana, but we need to learn. The dragons are here, and she not only needs to learn, but she needs to do so fast,” Lucinia said.

“Traitor...,” he mumbled, thinking the mage would be on his side. “Fine, we will go, but not until we spend two more days of training with the sword, bows, and shouts. You are also not to go until we equip you properly with some armor, and not before. Who knows what is inside those ruins.”

When the women agreed, they left the Wizard and headed towards his brother. Vorstag felt the dread soon pooling into his stomach, sending painful flutters. How many years had it been? Eighteen years? Twenty? He couldn’t remember anymore. What would Jolf say? Would he slam the door in his face? Hate him for ignoring him for so long? Vorstag couldn’t blame him. He wasn’t angry with his brother anymore; the years giving him wisdom, understanding, but time was hard on fire. Eventually, fires go out, burning up their fuel.

“Where does your brother live?” Lucinia asked.

“Outside the city. A farm across the way. It’s not far.”

By the time they reached outside, night had arrived. The city was lit with torches as they made their way out of town towards memories and regret.

Vorstag stopped in front of a large farmhouse. It was bigger than he thought it would be, his brother successful in his farming. The mercenary didn’t know why that surprised him. It was beautiful, as was the land, surrounded by wild grasses and flowers. There were acres of farmland. A large stable full of horses, cattle roamed in another field, and it boasted a large henhouse. 

“Wow, he must be rich,” said the girl.

“I guess so.”

The mercenary stood in front of the door, unsure. It must have been a long time because he felt a gentle hand on his shoulder. Looking back, he saw the mage, understanding in her eyes, encouraging. He took a deep breath and knocked on the door then took a quick step back as if it physically hurt him.

The door opened and wafted out a pleasant aroma of something cooking. Standing there was a tall man, just a little taller than Vorstag, his hair just as red, but pulled back. Besides the build and hair, they didn’t look much alike. The man’s eyes were brown, where Vorstag’s eyes were hazel. Vorstag looked like his mother, or so he was told.

“Vorstag,” the shocked man whispered. The two brothers stood on the threshold, both in shocked silence, staring as if they were trying to convince themselves what they saw.

“Jolf,” the mercenary greeted.

Soon the man’s eyes watered, stepping out and pulled Vorstag into a tight embrace, almost lifting him off his feet. Vorstag’s arms remained at his sides, unable to return the affection. It had been too long. Soon it became too uncomfortable for him as he pushed his brother away.

“Who is it, Jolf?” a woman yelled out.

When he didn’t answer, the beautiful blonde woman came to the door, her eyes wide in surprise. “Vorstag,” she whispered. 

The mercenary couldn’t get over how beautiful she still was, even after all these years. It was like time stood still just for her. Her blonde hair was falling out of its bun, wiping her hands on her apron. Her brown eyes were rich and dark, surrounded by thick lashes. The man just couldn’t find his voice to speak to either of them. The emotions were too strong, leaving him speechless.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks so much for reading. Please let me know what you think down in the comments <3.
> 
> Next: Awkward family moments.


	6. Family Reunions

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Vorstag finally reunites with his brother after nearly two decades, and he's not sure how much awkward he can take. Then he's forced to dance at a festival in Whiterun, and what better way to soften the rough edges?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! I would love to know your thoughts. <3

“Jolf! Are you going to let them in or stand in the doorway all night?” Gretga asked.

“Sorry, I… please come in,” Jolf said, finding his voice after his initial shock.

Vorstag mumbled thanks as he walked in, Lucinia and Anaka following behind. His heart was still a thunderous storm and didn’t trust himself enough to speak. “I’m sorry… to intrude on you like this…,” he stammered.

“Nonsense, Vorstag. You and your friends come right in and make yourself at home. You are just in time for dinner. There should be enough food for all of us,” Gretga said.

The three followed her into a large dining area where three children sat. Two boys and a girl. Vorstag wondered why he expected them to be younger. Well, one of them was, but the oldest child was not much older than Anaka. 

Jolf sat at the head of the table and showed where the rest should sit. Vorstag’s stomach roiled, not sure he should eat anything. He hadn’t seen his brother in about eighteen years and now he was at his table, ready to eat his food with his family before they even had words. The pain in his stomach caused by nerves left him to wonder about his ability to keep anything down.

Gretga placed bowls in front of the guests and started serving soup rich with herbs. “Who are your friends, Vorstag?” she asked. “Is the girl your daughter? I have to admit, she doesn’t share your appearance.”

He should have known his brother and wife would assume the girl and woman were his family. “Oh, sorry. Uh, no, this Lucinia, a mage from the College of Winterhold. She is the guardian of Anaka here. I’m... well, they hired me to help them, in a way.”

“To help with what precisely?” Jolf asked.

Vorstag sighed, not wanting to explain everything, but there was no way around it. When you show up on the doorsteps of family you hadn’t seen in almost two decades, they would want answers and lots of them. “It’s a long story. Perhaps I can tell you all after dinner.”

Neither Jolf nor Gretga asked why he was there or where he had been. Instead, they enjoyed the meal in relative silence. Vorstag looked over to his oldest nephew staring at Anaka, a smirk on his face. Anaka, he saw, was returning the flirtatious smile. He bumped her with his elbow and glowered at the boy who had the dignity to appear contrite. 

The mercenary tried not to stare at Gretga. It was strange seeing her and his brother again. He thought he loved the woman when he was young—very young. Vorstag never told her or did anything about it, pining for her from afar. Already angry at his brother over the loss of his sister, Jolf snatched her up before Vorstag got the chance and they fell in love. Another resentment; another regret. He was long over it. As the man got older, he realized it was his fault for doing nothing about it. But seeing her still left flutters in him. 

“So, um, who are these lovely Rieklings?” Vorstag asked. They were his nephews and niece, but he didn’t know them. Children left him uncomfortable, which was proven with Anaka.

Gretga giggled and introduced them to their uncle. “Our oldest is Halof, he’s fifteen now. I can scarcely believe it. They grow so fast! Our girl in the middle is Haema. She is eleven. Wilhelm is the youngest and quite a surprise. He’s five now. Kids, this is your Uncle Vorstag. Your father’s dear brother.”

Halof just glowered as Vorstag did to him earlier, but the girl was shy as she wiggled her fingers. The youngest bounced in his excitement, yelling ‘uncle’ over and over. 

Vorstag tried to reflect back to when he was this awkward and out of place and couldn’t think of anything. He thanked whatever God was out there, if any, that Anaka behaved and was quiet, having a habit of bombarding people with questions. No, it was just him she bombarded with questions. Vorstag didn’t understand what the girl saw in him.

They asked Lucinia and Anaka questions. There was idle chit chat, his least favorite. Soon the kids were dominating the conversations. It was so strange. Vorstag couldn’t do it. His mind was a storm of emotions and he was at a loss what to do about it. He wasn’t used to this whole family thing. So, after dinner, he thanked them for the meal and told them they would stay at the Bannered Mare. Anything to get away.

“Absolutely not. You will stay here. We have plenty of room,” Gretga insisted, looking at her husband who nodded in agreement.

“Yes, you all are more than welcome to stay.”

Vorstag squirmed in his chair in discomfort. “I don’t want to intrude and it’s been... well, it’s been years.”

“Vorstag, we are family. You, Lucinia, and Anaka will stay,” Jolf said.

Vorstag gave up, knowing he would be overruled. “Thank you.”

After dinner, they all gathered by the fire to talk as the mercenary told his story. The two boys sat on pillows by the fire to read and the daughter curled up on Jolf’s lap. She seemed to be closest to her father, a daddy’s girl. Gretga poured the adults a brandy and curled up in her cushioned chair. 

Before Vorstag said anything to tell his story, Anaka took Haema’s cue and curled up on his lap. If he didn’t feel strange before, he did now. The mercenary wanted to put her down, get her off of him, but it would seem cold if he did, and allowed her to stay. Her gangly long legs hung off his and her head nestled on his shoulder as she got comfortable. He saw Lucinia trying to stifle a giggle out of the corner of his eye. Vorstag gave her a stink eye, which only made her laugh harder.

Gretga and Jolf looked at him with such sweetness in their eyes he wanted to curl under a rock for an eternity. He felt like he was in a realm of Oblivion. _Great, more fucking doe-eyes._ Once again he was looking upward expecting answers from the unknown entity that was tormenting him, causing his life to be in upheaval.

“So what’s going on, Vorstag? Tell me everything,” Jolf said.

Vorstag did. He explained what he was doing when he stumbled across Anaka and Lucinia to the present, and his plans. There were several expected questions and discussions. The conversation was long into the night and Anaka had fallen asleep on him. He lifted her up and followed Gretga to Haema’s room where she had an extra bed. He eased her down on the bed to not wake the girls and closed the door behind him. 

Gretga pulled him into a tight embrace. “It’s nice to see you, Vorstag. I’m glad you are well. Your brother missed you very much.”

He hugged her back, but it was reluctant and uncomfortable. He wasn’t sure what to say and just nodded.

Lucinia and Vorstag would share the only spare bedroom since it had two beds, and Lucinia crawled in one, exhausted. Of course, she had to talk, unable to leave him alone with his tormented thoughts, because why wouldn’t she? Vorstag gave her an extra heavy sigh. 

“Are you OK? This must be stressful for you.”

He wanted to tease her, deflect from his stress, but he came up blank. “Yeah, I guess. It’s all strange.”

“I can see that. I see your brother loves you. It’s in his eyes.”

“Yeah, well…” Vorstag was uncertain what to say to that and rolled over to sleep.

The mercenary tossed and turned in bed. It was difficult to get past the strangeness of the evening. He no longer resented his brother, but it had been too long since he had seen him. Being in his brother’s house with his family was surreal.

He gave up on sleep, headed downstairs and made some special tea for sleep. When he finished, he brought his mug over by the dying fire, throwing a log on to reignite it, and sat down in a chair, stretching his legs out. Despite his discomfort, he was proud that he kept his groan silent, seeing his brother sit down across from him. _I just need a moment of peace, please_.

“I thought I heard you banging around down here,” Jolf said.

“Sorry, I couldn’t sleep.”

The silence was deafening between the two brothers as both sat, their eyes getting lost in the fire. Vorstag finished his tea and was about to head upstairs to sleep when his brother spoke. “Where have you been, brother? I don’t mean where have you been living. I’m talking mentally. Where have you been? Why have you never reached out to me after I wrote to you so many times, I can’t even count? It hurt, brother. It hurt that you never responded to my letters or came to see me and my family.”

Vorstag stared into the fire, expecting the questions left unsaid earlier in the evening. “I still miss Ulla,” he said.

“I miss her too. Is that what this is about? Are you still angry with me?”

He shook his head, “I’m not angry. Not any more. There was resentment for a long time after she died, blaming you for her death, that you weren’t there to take care of us. I know you sent us letters and money, neither of which ever showed, but that wasn’t your fault. At least they caught the courier for his thievery and punished him.” 

Vorstag debated on telling his brother the next part, but decided he owed him the full truth. “It’s also Gretga... something I never told you before. I was young, stupid and thought I loved her, maybe in my young mind, I did. But I did nothing about it, never telling her. Imagine my surprise when she ended up in my brother’s arms. Between that and Ulla, I left... bitter. I was angry with you for so long. Your letters came, and I just tossed them aside, but curiosity would get the better of me and I’d read them. I refused to write you back. Once my anger waned, it had already been years. I gave up trying to reach out to you. I figured since I never contacted you, you hated me for it. Then you stopped writing.”

Jolf was silent for a while, seeming to process Vorstag’s story, staring into the fire. “I never knew how you felt about Gretga. I wish I could say you should have told before, but then I wouldn’t have all this, my family that I love with everything that I have.”

“No, don’t. I am over it. You have a beautiful family and I would never dream of taking that away. I may be an asshole, but I’m not cruel,” Vorstag said, forcing himself to stare at his brother in the eyes.

“Life has made me a hard man, Jolf. A hard man who is alone, but that is no one’s fault but my own.”

“Anaka seems quite fond of you.”

Vorstag snorted a laugh, “I don’t understand what possesses the girl. I’m not the nicest of people.”

“She seems to think so. And Lucinia said when you weren’t listening that you feed them, take care of them, train them for free. If that isn’t kindness, I’m not sure what is.”

“Well, it doesn’t matter. She already has a father, a mother. Lucinia and I just watch over her to make sure nothing happens. I... I see Ulla in her, but I also relate to the girl in a way. But fuck! She’s a kid. I am not good with kids. That’s not true either. I’m not good with people.” He didn’t admit his concerns about watching Anaka lose her light, her smile. He didn’t want to admit to himself that he cared.

Jolf gave him a knowing smile as if he figured out something that Vorstag did not. “What’s Lucinia’s story? She seems… amused by you.”

“I’m a never-ending source of her amusement. She loves to prove me wrong.”

“I don’t doubt that,” he chuckled. “She’s beautiful. I’m surprised you and…”

“No, don’t go there, Jolf. Please. She’s not my type.”

Jolf raised his hands in a defensive gesture, trying not to laugh. “Have you ever thought a woman who wasn’t your type could be a good thing? Your type maybe isn’t working out well for you.”

Vorstag couldn’t help but laugh at his brother’s observations. “Perhaps you’re right. Still, she’s a pain in the ass. Besides,, who said I needed a woman in my life? Anyway, I’m beat. I’m headed to bed.”

Jolf stood and stopped him, pulling him into an embrace again. This time Vorstag returned the hug. He had this strange urge to weep, but he choked it back. 

“It’s great to see you, little brother.”

“Yeah, it’s good to see you too, Jolf.”

Vorstag rolled out of bed the next morning wishing he had enough rest, but he didn’t. As his vision cleared, he could see Lucinia wasn’t there and her bed made. He stumbled downstairs to find chaos; the noise giving rise to a headache. Children were running about, Gretga was trying to get them to sit down and eat breakfast. Jolf was chasing after his youngest, who refused to get dressed. The scene was the complete opposite of the night before. He couldn’t find Lucinia and Anaka anywhere. The mercenary grabbed an apple from the kitchen, ignoring the screaming children and headed outside for quiet. 

When he stepped out into the bright morning, it pleased him to see Anaka and Lucinia doing their sword stances together. The women didn’t see him with their backs turned as he sat taking a big bite of the apple. 

“Spread your legs further, knees loose, and raise your elbows,” he told them.

After their practice, Anaka sheathed her sword and ran over to sit next to Vorstag. “This is wonderful, Mr. Vorstag! I like it here! I’m so happy to be around children again and your family is so nice!”

“Yeah, they’re not bad, I suppose, but those children are louder than you are. I barely escaped with my life.”

“Oh, they are not that bad,” Lucinia laughed.

“Tiny trolls, the lot of them.”

“Mr. Vorstag, Mr. Vorstag, Mr. Vorstag…”

“Shor’s ass, Anaka... one ‘Mr.’ is bad enough. Out with it.”

Anaka stood and took one of his enormous hands, jumping up and down. “There’s a festival tomorrow in town. Can we go? Can we go? Please... I want to go! There’s going to be dancing, food, music... Please!”

Vorstag looked at Lucinia for help, but he didn’t know why he bothered. The mage enjoyed his torments. 

“Don’t look at me,” she said. “I want to go, too.”

“But of course you do. I’m not one for festivals or parties.” _Lies_.

“Please!” the girl begged. “Please, please, please, please, please…”

“You do realize she’s just going to keep begging until you say yes, right?” Lucinia said.

“Don’t encourage her! Jeez, woman!”

Vorstag couldn’t take the doe eyes any longer. _Always the fucking doe eyes_. He appreciated that he wasn’t a parent, afraid he’d never be able to say no with those eyes that made his cold heart melt. “Fine, we can go for a little while, I guess.”

He covered his ears as Anaka screamed for joy, bouncing up and down, kissing him on the cheek. “Keep it up and I’m going to change my mind!”. 

“You’re no help,” he said to Lucinia when Anaka ran off.

“I know. Remember, I want to go as well,” she laughed and walked back into the house.

The girls left him alone with his apple and hearing loss. Vorstag couldn’t help but smile. Lucinia and Anaka were growing on him, despite his protests.

Instead of heading back inside to the chaos that was children, he picked up an ax and started chopping wood and stacking the firewood with the rest next to the house. It was a pleasurable exercise, almost meditative in the silence and feeling his muscles burn. _Lift, drop, split, toss._ He must have been at it for a while when Gretga came out with some water and a plate of food for lunch.

“Thanks,” he mumbled.

“Did you and Jolf work things out?”

“I guess so,” he shrugged, taking a large bite of meat and bread. Vorstag felt a lecture coming on. Why did people always corner him when he had something in his mouth? He was sure to keep him silent.

“He missed you, Vorstag.”

 _Here it comes_. “I know.”

“Do you think it was fair never to reach out to him?”

 _Eating_. Vorstag pulled himself inward, eating his lunch, waiting to get pummeled by someone else. If it wasn’t Lucinia, then it was Arngeir, now it was Gretga. “I guess not.” How did these people reduce him to childhood again?

_Bite. Eating._

“You guess not? He was in pain for so long. He wrote to you all the time and not once did you write back. How could you let your brother suffer so long? Then to just show up out of nowhere. We love you, Vorstag, and you’re welcome here, but you have given your brother a lot of pain and his pain translates to my pain.”

“I know! Sorry, I... didn’t mean to yell. I am messed up, OK?” The mercenary lost his appetite and headed inside to bathe the sweat off.

Gretga softened. “Wait... please. I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have lectured. Your brother worried for a long time and it took its toll on me. He didn’t know if you were dead, alive, happy, miserable.”

“I couldn’t OK? I was in pain for a long time. It was hard to face him. Then too much time had passed. Look, we talked about this already. I’m not—”

“Used to talk about your feelings,” she finished for him.

“Right. I know I’m an asshole. I’ve kind of accepted that.”

Gretga grasped Vorstag’s shoulders and forced him to face her. “You are not an asshole. You are taking care of Lucinia and Anaka, at great expense to you, no doubt. It doesn’t get more kind than that.”

“I wish people would stop calling me kind. I’m not!” Vorstag pulled away and went inside. He ignored everyone and walked to the bath for a soak, and to get away. He needed some silence for a while. 

It was the evening of the festival. Some celebration about growth and renewal and changing of the seasons as Spring was about to arrive. Vorstag sat down by the fire beside Jolf and waited for the women to finish prettying themselves up. The festival was going to be over by the time they got downstairs. Perhaps it was a good thing, then he wouldn’t have to go. Normally, he loved a good festival and party, drinking, finding a woman to fuck, though he could do without the dancing. He couldn’t do that now.

Before he got his hopes up, Anaka came running down the stairs in the new dress he bought for her that morning. She stood in front of him and spun around. Her blonde hair pulled back at the top with long braids clipped and the rest hung in long waves behind her back. The light blue dress brought out her eyes.

“How do I look, Mr. Vorstag?”

“Like a little fairy,” he said, and meant it. “All you need are some wings.”

Anaka giggled and sat on his lap. “Maybe a boy will ask me to dance!”

“He better not,” Vorstag said before he could close his mouth. He sounded entirely too much like a father. 

“I will dance with you, Anaka,” said Halof, Jolf’s oldest boy. “You are so pretty.”

Anaka looked at the handsome red-headed boy, a coy smile on her face as the flush crept up her face. “Thank you.”

The mercenary was going to put a stop to any thoughts of young boys and dancing. “I don’t think—”

“What a gentleman you are, Halof,” interrupted Jolf. 

Vorstag narrowed his eyes at his brother, but he was ignored. Instead, he stared at the boy indicating he better behave himself or else he was going to suffer Uncle Mercenary.

Lucinia and Gretga made their way down, and both of them stunning. He thought his eyes would be peeled on Gretga, but it was Lucinia that held his attention. Her hair was down in long spirals that framed her face. There was some fragrant oil that kept her hair under control. The plum-colored dress he bought earlier only enhanced her skin tone and light green eyes. He had to take his eyes off of her and left for the kitchen to pour himself a cup of wine. 

“Isn’t Lucinia lovely?” Gretga said, startling him.

“Yep.” He chugged the wine down and poured another.

“‘Yep?’ That’s all you have to say? Go tell her how pretty she is. Women don’t go through all this trouble just to be ignored, Vorstag.”

Why was Gretga pushing him so? “She’s not mine to give such attention and compliments.”

“Isn’t that how it all starts?”

“And who says that’s what I want?” he snapped. “Sorry, I... I didn’t mean to take it out on you.” What was wrong with him? He has been a sodding asshole since he got to his brother’s house. No, he’s been a sodding asshole since this whole adventure began. Life was so much easier when he was alone and didn’t have people to look after.

“She likes you, you know. Or at least finds you attractive.”

That surprised him. He could have sworn Lucinia hated him, and he wouldn’t blame her. “How could—”

Gretga gave him that look that women do—that look implying he was clueless. “Women don’t try to look beautiful just for themselves.”

“Perhaps it’s because she wants to dance with one of the local men,” he said, hoping that was true.

“No, she’s got her eyes on you. I’m sure she doesn’t admit it to herself, but she looks at you a certain way.”

Vorstag didn’t want to talk about this. Not knowing what to say, he grunted something unintelligible and headed back to the parlor. The least he could do was tell her she looked nice. “You, uh, clean up well,” he said and internally slammed his head on a wall for the pathetic compliment.

Her smile turned into a frown and mumbled a thanks.

“I... I... uh, sorry. That came out... I mean the dress looks nice on you and your hair, it looks, uh... looks nice too.” _Just strike me down now!_ How many women has he been with, feeding them compliments to get them in bed? Why was it so difficult to speak now?

Lucinia’s smile returned and took his offered elbow as they made their way to Whiterun for the festivities, ignoring all the knowing smiles Gretga and Jolf were giving him. _Leave me alone!_

The city was alight with lanterns and banners strung between buildings. Flowers were on display at every corner, house, and building as if turning the city into a meadow. The evening was cold, their breaths coming out in plumes, but it was clear and beautiful. 

They were early enough to get a table at the Bannered Mare and sat down to order food and drinks. While there was a bard, the owner also paid for a band to play music on top of the signing. All the kids ran off to dance while they waited for food. Twice, Vorstag had to separate Halof and Anaka for dancing too close to each other. “You are too young. Back off, boy.”

“What?” Vorstag asked when greeted with knowing looks at the table.

“I knew you cared about her,” Lucinia said.

“I just don’t want her father to hunt me down,” he shrugged. “Stop looking at me like that.”

“Why can’t you admit it? Admit you like Ana.”

“Why can’t you stop tormenting?”

“Because it’s fun. It makes you all grumpy and broody.”

After their meal, it was only Vorstag and Lucinia at the table drinking mead, not talking, and watching everyone dance. He knew she was expecting him to ask her, but he wasn’t a dancer, and didn’t like to draw that kind of attention to himself. Watching the smiles and laughter of Gretga and Jolf dancing close, twirling his wife as she giggled, kissing, still in love was a nice sight, he had to admit. At least Halof got wise and learned not to dance too close to Anaka. Vorstag was tiring of separating them, glad the boy took the blatant hint.

Vorstag could almost feel Lucinia’s eyes looking his way expectantly, hoping he would ask her to dance. But he just sat, watched, and drank. He reminded himself she wasn’t his type even if she was beautiful, ignoring his brother’s words from the other night.

Anaka must have tired of him moping at the table and yanked him to dance, but he refused. Shrugging, she ran off to dance with Halof again. 

A tall Nord walked up to their table. He was broad, young, blonde—typical, boring. 

“Would you like to dance, milady?” he asked Lucinia, hand out for her to take. 

Lucinia nodded, her thrill that she found someone to dance with was obvious. “Yes, thank you,” she said.

Vorstag wanted to relieve the mounting guilt he didn’t ask her to dance. Instead, he felt a growing agitation watching Lucinia dance with the Nord. He didn’t enjoy watching her being spun around, laughing, smiling, looking up at the handsome—no boring—Nord with those damned starry eyes. It was more fun when the tables turned and he was making her blush and agitated. He did not know when those proverbial tables flipped, but it irritated him.

He took another gulp of mead, wishing it would dampen his mood when Jolf sat next to him, smiling, out of breath. 

Gretga was holding and dancing with their youngest son, Wilhelm. “It seems a more handsome young man has taken my wife away from me,” he laughed.

The mercenary could feel Jolf’s prying eyes, though he was doing his damnedest to ignore him. “Brother, go ask her to dance. It’s clear you are not liking her dancing with that young man.”

“How could you know such things?”

“You may be some tough mercenary, stoic, trying to be manly, but your face is an open book now, brother. She is beautiful and smart and funny. You are going to miss out on something wonderful if you don’t grab it now.”

Vorstag didn’t know what he wanted. Did he want her? He didn’t think so, but his reaction to her dancing was telling him otherwise. It was a strange feeling, this jealousy. Despite his bravado, he wasn’t sure he had the balls to ask her. 

“What makes you think she would even accept? She hates me and I haven’t been the nicest to her.”

“I think she understands you more than you think. One thing I know for sure is if you want something, you ask for it, get it. You will get nothing out of life if you do nothing about it. What would it hurt to ask?”

“My face when she slaps it.” The whole lecture left him with memories of pining for Gretga. He never asked, and so his brother swept her away. 

Jolf gave a hearty laugh at Vorstag’s reaction, slapping him hard on the back. “I’m sure you’ve been through worse with women.”

Vorstag couldn’t help but also chuckle. Yes, he’s had his face slapped a lot. “Fine,” he said, slamming his bottle on the table in mock irritation. No, it irritated him. He didn’t like all these confusing feelings at all.

Tapping on the Nord’s shoulder, he asked to cut in, ignoring Lucinia’s shocked face. The Nord was graceful in his bow but was reluctant to let her go. Vorstag hustled the man aside and took Lucinia’s hand, giving her a twirl that women seemed to like.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next: Anaka is in for a rude awakening on her first mission.


	7. Anaka's First Mission

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nothing like a drunken mage and vomit to really draw Vorstag and Lucinia together, not to mention ticking off Nords who wanted to dance with her. It was hard to deny he kind of liked her, well she was growing on him at least. They take Anaka to Bleakfalls Barrow for her first mission to retrieve the Dragonstone. It would be good training for the girl, or the death of him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! Please share your thoughts in the comments. I hope you are like my rendition of Vorstag.

Towards the end of the evening, his family left for home and took Anaka with them as it was becoming late. Vorstag regretted his decision to dance with Lucinia. Well, he enjoyed holding her, but she had entirely too much to drink. She had less than he did, but she was smaller than he was. His greatest enjoyment was not allowing the blonde Nord to dance with her again, telling himself he didn’t want the man to take advantage of her drunken state. At least it was a half-truth.

The music was slow as they listened to the thrum of the lute. As the evening wore down, the mage wrapped her arms around Vorstag’s neck as if it was a lifeline to keep her from falling, the side of her face shoved into his chest. Every time he tried to get her to go home, she demanded one more dance. He could have said no and forced the issue, but he couldn’t say he was having an awful time. The mercenary had to admit he enjoyed women wrapped around him.

She glanced up at him with hooded doe-eyes, a drunken grin on her face. “Yer shnow nice, mercurn… merserner… mercernery,” she slurred.

He blew out a breathy laugh. “And you’re drunk.”

“I am not!” she said, taking offense, pushing back the curls out of her face that had turned frizzy again after all the dancing. As if forgetting what she was saying, her face was once again on his chest, swaying to the music. “Yer shest isth warm. Isss hard an’ warm.”

“Um, thanks, I guess.”

She tottered up straight and squeezed his biceps. “Yer so srong... a rock.”

Vorstag snorted a laugh under his breath. He kind of enjoyed her when she was tipsy. He was confident she didn’t do it often.

They swayed to the music, her arms around his neck, face in his chest, Lucinia grew heavy as if she gained a couple of dozen pounds. Her arms slid down and collapsed at her sides like a rag doll. The only thing holding her upright was his arms around her. 

“Well, someone’s passed out. Shor’s ass, woman, I thought we were going to dance forever,” he muttered.

The mercenary bent to grab her legs and lifted her into his arms, not weighing much. He carried her out of the tavern, ignoring the nasty looks from the blonde Nord, and other men, he noticed. _Good._

Holding anyone, even one as petite as the mage, was awkward and heavy, so he tossed her over his shoulder like a sack of flour and headed back to his brother’s place. 

He wasn’t halfway home when he heard her moan with a retching sound. He knew that sound anywhere after living in a tavern for two years. Before he could set her down to vomit on the ground, she threw up down his back. He winced as if he were in pain. It was warm, wet, and disgusting, and hard to ignore the smell. 

“Fuck me...” he groaned, trying not to throw up himself.

There was nothing to do about it now, and he kept on walking, carrying her over his shoulder, hoping she wouldn’t do it again. He couldn’t very well go in the house with dripping vomit on his back, so he laid her down on a bench in front of the house and removed his clothes and boots, tossing them in a corner to wash later. He hoped he could get the smell out. Only wearing his smalls, he picked her back up again, this time in his arms. 

The house was silent with everyone asleep and carried Lucinia, placing her bed. Vorstag removed her boots, tossed them on the floor, and drew the blanket over her, rolling her on her side if she had to be sick again. He didn’t dare to remove her dress—he enjoyed living.

It didn’t take him long to fall asleep after his bath, worrying about his clothes tomorrow.

Vorstag woke up in the morning to feel a slight pressure on his chest. When he opened his eyes, he saw Lucinia come into view, sitting on his bed, staring down at him. Her smile was small, her eyes bright. She looked well-rested despite the late evening full of drink and vomiting on his back. 

“What?” he said, struggling to ignore her hand on his bare chest.

“It’s late, and I thought maybe you wanted to get up,” she said, though she looked away as a flash of embarrassment crossed her face.

“Oh,” he said, not getting up.

“I’m afraid I drank too much last night. The pain I found myself in this morning was intolerable. I have never had that much to drink before.”

“You look good now... I mean, you’re still... that is, you look fine.” _Shut up, shut up, shut up_.

The redness creeping up the mage’s face was visible, sensing his own heat, seeing her reaction to his idiotic stammering. He wondered why he hadn’t moved her hand yet. _Because you like it, fool_.

“The powers of healing. Thank you for taking care of me last night. I’m quite embarrassed by my behavior, and I hope I didn’t ruin your evening.”

“It was fine until you threw up on my back,” he quipped, smirking.

The dusting of color on her face soon turned full-blown red, withdrawing her hand. “You’re joking, of course.”

“I wish I was. I left my clothes outside until I can wash them.”

“Mara’s mercy. I... I’m so sorry. I... oh, gods...” 

Lucinia stood to escape, looking like she wanted to shove her head into a dark hole and never come out. Vorstag didn’t know what possessed him. Perhaps he liked her hand on his chest too much. He reached for her hand as she tried to flee and had her sit once more on his bed. 

“With your stomach contents, notwithstanding, I... have to admit I enjoyed dancing with you. It’s not my thing, but if I do it, it’s only for one purpose. It was kind of nice to do it and not have any... obligations other than just holding...” _You sound like fucking moron_.

Vorstag wasn’t sure what he was trying to say, not wanting to appear as a rambling idiot, unsuccessfully, but she seemed to get the gist of it and settled back down, no longer looking so mortified.

“Is that all you like about it?” she asked, not daring to look at him.

“I did enjoy you talking about my powerful muscles and how they were like rocks.”

“I did not!” she blurted, face beet red.

“You did. It’s good for the ego, you know. I also enjoyed making that young Nord wish he was me.”

“Is that all it was? A cock-sizing, ego-boosting game?” Lucinia’s hand covered her mouth, eyes wide, obviously not used to talking like that, blushing once more, but she was also giggling.

Vorstag laughed along with her. “Isn’t that what men do when a lovely woman is in the room?”

“How would I know? It’s not like they are trampling down my door.”

“I don’t know why not. You’re lovely.” 

Vorstag groaned at her starry doe-eyes. He had enough embarrassment and flustering for one day and got up to get dressed. But he smiled, watching her flustered again, seeing him only in his smalls. 

“Ana wants to talk to us when you come down,” Lucinia said, looking everywhere but him. 

“Tell her I’ll be down in a minute.”

When he came down, he couldn’t see Lucinia anywhere. He assumed she was still embarrassed and had gone into hiding. Breakfast was over, and it was just Gretga sewing at the table, Wilhelm working on his reading, and Anaka had her nose in a book. Everyone else must have gone outside. 

“I saved you some breakfast,” Gretga said, lifting her chin towards the table’s end. 

“Thanks,” he said, sitting down, scooping food into his mouth.

Anaka looked over at Vorstag, a broad smile on her face with damned doe-eyes. _What is with these women?_ “Did you kiss her!” she asked.

The mercenary nearly choked on his breakfast. “Kiss? Why would I... never mind.”

“You were dancing with her all night. Why didn’t you kiss her? She wanted you to.”

He looked over at Gretga sewing, a knowing smile on her face, not helping. He mumbled a curse. “It’s not like that,” he said.

“You wouldn’t allow anyone to dance with her. It’s so romantic.”

_Fucking starry eyes!_

Gretga trying not to laugh. 

“I... I didn’t keep men from dancing with her. She danced with someone,” he protested.

“Vorstag, you had all the eligible men in there ready to kill you,” Gretga said. “Every time one of them went up to stand in, you glared them back into submission.”

The mercenary stumbled over words, not knowing what to say to retort. Instead, he shoved his food aside and mumbled how he wasn’t hungry. He walked outside, hearing laughter behind him. Why must the women in his life torment him so? Was it payback for all the women he had sex with? It had to be. 

He searched for Lucinia and found her by a washbasin scrubbing. “I’m here. Aren’t we going to talk to Anaka?”

“Yes, let me finish this,” she said. “I’m so sorry, Vorstag.”

“For what?”

Lucinia stood up straight, holding out his wet clothes to show him. “I’m almost done washing them. I feel terrible.”

“Well, you didn’t have to wash them, but I appreciate it. Don’t fret about it. We’ve all been there.”

“I haven’t!”

“Now, you have. Welcome to being like everyone else, mage.”

When Vorstag’s clothes were on the line to dry, he and Lucinia headed back in the house to talk to Anaka to see what she wanted. They were both there because of her, so they needed to listen. The girl waved as soon as they walked in, pointing to chairs at the table.

“What did you want to talk about, Ana?” Lucinia asked.

“I want to go to that ruins place, Bleak Falls or something? We need to get that stone for dragons and bring it to that nice wizard. It’s been fun here, but we need to do this, find some answers.”

“I will go,” Vorstag said in a way that ended all conversation and potential arguments. Except that it didn’t, because why would it? He should have known the women would attack him on all sides.

“Mr. Vorstag, this is my mission. I am the Dragonborn. You must take me, and I have to learn to help the people of Skyrim. You may not always be there. I have to learn!” Anaka argued.

Lucinia was over talking Anaka. “You can’t leave us behind. We have to go. You’ve been instructing us for this very task.”

“You aren’t seriously thinking of taking a little girl to those horrible ruins, were you?” Gretga scolded.

“And, I’ve been practicing—”

“We’ve worked hard and we the only way to learn—”

“It’s too dangerous—”

“Enough! Shor’s fucking ass!” he yelled. “A bunch of screeching harpies!”

“Vorstag! Language,” said Gretga and Lucinia at the same time.

The mercenary had his elbows on the table and his head in his hands, feeling a headache coming on. How could he defend the girl if he brought her to every dangerous location? But how could she learn to fight and defend herself if he didn’t? It tore at him. It didn’t help that he had all three of the women pulling him in different directions.

Anaka stood up and sat next to him, clutching his hand as if he needed tenderness. “Mr. Vorstag, I’m fourteen in two weeks. I’m getting older, and I need to learn to protect myself. You are doing a wonderful job of that, but I need to put what I have learned to use. It is the best way, and I can see it in your eyes, that you know this is true, and it’s time I learned. It is one reason you are here. Don’t fight me on this. I see it.”

“Your visions? Do your visions tell you if you live or not?” Vorstag asked.

She shook her head. “It doesn’t work like that. You know this.”

“Fine. You all are going to kill me one day. Is it possible for a man to die of a headache? The place isn’t far away, and it’s still morning. Go get dressed in your new armor, both of you, and meet me down here in an hour.”

The mercenary headed up to put on his armor as well when Gretga grabbed his arm. “Are you sure this is a good idea? She’s so young and innocent. It seems so dangerous to take little girls in the ruins. I’m sure Lucinia has seen little combat too.”

“Anaka is right. It’s why we are here. It’s her destiny, and I’m just doing... what I’m told. I’m doing what I told her I would. I will make sure she’s OK.”

So much for the celebration of Spring. By the time they reached the ruins’ path, it was snowing hard, making it difficult to see ahead of them. If it was hard to identify the enemy, it would be hard to see him and the women in return, which was a plus. 

Vorstag could see the ruins in the distance at the top of the mountain from his brother’s house. He knew the ancient building wasn’t that far, but climbing around a mountain could take time. He looked back to check on Lucinia and Anaka, both bundled up, hoods drawn over their heads. They looked cold but, blessedly, didn’t complain. 

In the distance, he could see through the snow an old stone tower. He slowed their progression, bow drawn. Anaka and Lucinia followed suit, conjuring bows of their own. As they drew near, the mercenary noticed a man pacing on guard, and the other was leaning on a tree. The closer they got, he could tell they were bandits. They had to deal with the thugs first as they guarded the path to the ruins. 

Vorstag faced the girls, finger to his lips. “We have to deal with these guys. They are bandits, and they will not let us pass without a fight. Since you want so much practice, Anaka, I want you to fire an arrow at the man leaning against the tree.”

“You mean I have to kill him?” she squeaked.

“Yes, you need to kill him. You wanted to do this. You wanted to train, practice, learn. Sometimes that involves killing the bad guys. You had to do it before, so what’s the problem now?”

“But they were attacking us. That guy is just sitting there, minding his own business. What if he’s just doing a job like you and misses his family? He might have children.”

Vorstag smacked his forehead with his hand. “I’m telling you, he’s a bandit. If you can’t do it, then we go home, and I’ll come back by myself because that guy that looks so like he will have no qualms about killing a little girl.”

“I’ll do it,” Lucinia said.

“No, Anaka does it. This was her idea.”

Anaka nodded, lip quivering, and trudged forward, kneeling, and took aim at the man. After a minute, her conjured bow vanished, and looked at Vorstag, tears in her eyes. 

_Shit_. “OK, forget it. I’m sorry. Don’t cry. _Please_ don’t cry.”

“If he attacks us, do you think you can do it then?”

Anaka nodded, wiping away stray tears with the back of her gloved hand.

These women are going to die if they can’t take risks like these. Instead of plucking the bandits off with bows, Vorstag pulled out his great-sword and approached the two men who stopped, drawing their own swords, knowing the man coming at them had ill intentions.

“Look what we have here. A man and his two little whores,” said Dumbass bandit one.

“I bet you got some nice pussy, mage,” said Idiot bandit two.

“Wow, you all are so clever. Do you go to school for that?” Vorstag asked.

“School for what?” bandit one asked, scratching his head.

“How to speak like a moronic bandit.”

 _Wait for it. Let them slowly process the insult_. Sure enough, they attacked. 

“You can die—” 

The two bandits were suddenly flung off the mountain by fireballs. Vorstag looked back at Lucinia, who shrugged. “What? I hate the ‘p’ word.”

The crooked smile hit his lips, and he moved into the tower to clear out any other bandits. “Stay back. It’s too narrow for all of us to fight.”

It didn’t take long to clear out the last bandit and made his way back to the women. “Let’s go.” As he was walking off, he felt a tug at his arm. He looked down and saw Anaka crying. _Why me?_ “What’s wrong now?” he asked, dragging a hand down his face in frustration.

“I should have listened. I’m sorry. It... it’s just hard. You could have died!”

Sometimes it was easy to forget Anaka was a little girl. Other times, it was hard to remember how smart she was. Vorstag was a mercenary for a long time, desensitized to death sometimes. He reminded himself that she was still learning these things, that the girl wasn’t a cold-hearted bastard like he was. She was a thinking, feeling, sensitive teen. He looked over at Lucinia, who was staring at him as if he held all the answers. The hope that he had some profound words of wisdom for the girl was evident on her face.

“Those bandits are idiots and didn’t stand a chance. I wouldn’t have died. Tell you what, if you feel you cannot kill them, I know you have some powers that can help me or the mage out to do the killing. Right? You have a disarm... what is it called? A shout? You can disarm enemies like I have seen you do, and you can stagger them.” Vorstag gave her shoulder a gentle, reassuring squeeze.

“You mean, I won’t have to kill them?”

“You may have to one day... let’s take it one step at a time. Use your powers, your Voice, as the Greybeards called it. Help me out, and I will do the heavy lifting. We will work as a team, OK?”

And just like that, her tears went to smiles and gratefulness. Anaka grabbed Vorstag’s hand as they made their way to the top of the mountain, where the ominous ruins stood for thousands of years as if daring time and the elements to destroy it. In the distance were more bandits. The ones they killed appeared to be the first line of defense. The bandits by the ruins were there to prevent anyone from getting in. It made the mercenary curious, wondering what they were doing in there. Perhaps it was more than a simple bauble theft from the dead.

It was just as well they didn’t use the bow as the wind picked up. Vorstag had his sword ready, and Lucinia looked like a right spell-sword. Maybe they would make enough coin to get the mage and girl proper, high-quality weapons.

“OK, Anaka. I want you to follow close behind me, but off to the side, so you’re not flinging me off a mountain when you do your shout. That would _not_ be fun. If a bad guy comes up to me and it looks as if he will hurt Lucinia or me, use your disarm shout on them... please not on us. Do you think you can do that?”

Anaka’s head bobbed up and down, “I can do it.”

“Good girl.”

“Ready?” he asked the mage, who agreed.

He climbed the steep steps to the ruins and drew the bandit’s attention, already on guard. Swords clashed between the bandit and Vorstag. 

“Ah, a silent one. Thank the Gods,” the mercenary grunted. The confusion made the bandit off-balance as Vorstag nearly killed him, but he saw the archer off the side just in time as he rolled out of the way before becoming a pincushion. As promised, Anaka used her disarm shout, and the bandit lost his bow, looking stupidly at his hands.

Vorstag swung his sword in a wide arc, and the head landed with a thump, rolling down the steps. The archer had his sword drawn, ready for the intruder. The one-handed sword was no match for Vorstag’s powerful blows of the more massive weapon. He cut clean through the man’s chest, yanking out his sword, and was ready for another bandit, but no one was left. 

“Done?” he asked Lucinia.

“Got them,” she said.

Anaka ran up to Vorstag, who was waiting for her to catch up. “I did it, Mr. Vorstag! I did it!” she yelled, bouncing up and down.

He couldn’t help but chuckle at the girl and patted her head. “You did great, and I think you may have saved my life, but don’t get cocky, OK?” She didn’t really save his life, but he wanted to boost her confidence in her abilities.

“I won’t!” 

Anaka then ran to Lucinia, hugging the woman as she told her how proud she was of the girl.

“We need to be silent in the ruins. Our voices and footsteps will carry, so we will have to be as silent as we can. I don’t know what to expect, but I have an idea. There will be bandits for certain, but there could be giant spiders, draugr... Just be quiet, OK?”

“We will,” said Lucinia. “I can use my muffle spell on us to help silence our footsteps.”

Vorstag looked impressed with the mage. “That’s useful. Let’s go.”

The doors into the ruins were massive, as tall as three men standing on top of each other. They were covered in intricate carvings and made of iron, heavy. Vorstag pushed one of them open just enough for them to squeeze through. The light from the outside could be a dead giveaway. He led them forward as Lucinia cast her muffle spell, their boots going silent. 

Up ahead were two more bandits arguing about something. Despite the echoing of the large chamber, they kept their voices down. Vorstag pulled out his bow, and Lucinia took her cue, conjuring hers. The mercenary used hand signals, he indicated they each take one out with their bows. Both held their bows, nocked an arrow, pulled their strings taut, and then let their breath out as their arrows flew. Vorstag’s arrow made its mark, but Lucinia’s arrow narrowly missed the other bandit. Vorstag was going to take her out, but the mage shook her head and fired again as the bandit went on guard. 

The arrow hit the bandit, her yelp echoing off the ancient stones. Lucinia blew the hair out of her face in frustration as she cast her chain lightning spell and burned the woman from the inside out.

“Sorry,” she said.

“It was a good try, and you got her the second time.”

Lucinia looked at Vorstag like he lost his mind. “No scolding, telling me what I did wrong, yelling at me? Are you sick or something?” she asked, reaching for his head to check for fever.

Vorstag brushed her hand away. “What? I’m telling the truth. It was good for your first try in a proper setting.”

“No, you never give compliments. What are you up to?” she asked, eyes narrowing in suspicion.

“I do too. Do you always complain when someone gives you a compliment? I can take it back if you want,” he said, his irritation mounting.

“Why do you two fight so much? You like each other. Why can’t you just kiss instead?” Anaka said.

“We do not want to kiss!”

“As if!”

“Whatever,” the girl said and took the lead before Vorstag drew her back. 

“I go first.”

He checked to make sure the bandits were dead, he looked up to see a chest. “Hello, gold,” he muttered and tested the lid. Locked. Vorstag dug around in bandits’ pockets and found a key, and sure enough, it opened the trunk. 

“This must be why they are in here. The bandits are looking for treasure. Well, since they are dead, I guess it’s ours now.” 

Anaka looked in the trunk, eyes wide with all the gold and gems. “Whoa. I have never seen so much wealth. Are you sure it’s OK to take it?”

“The dead don’t need wealth.”

“I don’t know, mercenary. It seems sacrilegious to steal from burial tombs,” Lucinia said.

“Look, we need gold. I can sell this stuff, and we can buy a house, move out of my brother’s place, and get you all the proper weapons. We are running out of coin after buying you all armor, horses, clothes, and such. I can’t force my brother to take care of the three of us. It’s not fair to him and his family. We need gold and fast.”

“OK, OK. Sorry, you’re right. It... just feels wrong.”

“I know, but until I can take on some jobs, we have to take advantage of what life throws at us.”

He threw several assorted gems and Septim in his back. Digging around, he pulled out a beautifully carved Elven dagger, gleaming in gold. “I think this has Anaka written all over it,” he said, handing the weapon to the girl who had a broad smile. She put the weapon in her belt, and they all moved deeper into the ruins.

The ancient halls were eerily quiet, and it wasn’t just because of the muffle spell. There were no other sounds other than dripping water that seeped through the stone walls. Vorstag expected more resistance from the bandits, but perhaps they were deeper inside. The pathway was long, entering smaller chambers, leading to more paths. Still, there was nothing.

The last room they entered was vast and a closed gate before them. There was a dead bandit off to the side. Lucinia inspected the dead man as the mercenary looked around. There was a reason something killed the man. There were several pillars with animal runes on them, but Vorstag did not understand what they meant. “What do you think these animals mean?” he asked, but no one answered.

The gate was locked, and it appeared the only way to open it was with the lever in front of it. The mercenary looked around and up in the ceiling, seeing several holes. It was an obvious trap, and which was why the bandit was probably dead because bandits were stupid.

“Here, this lever must open the gate,” Anaka said, pulling it. Vorstag reacted on instinct. He grabbed the girl and covered her with his body being hit with several darts. He didn’t hear Lucinia yell out her warning before the room started spinning. Or maybe he did. His name rang out in echoes, but his mind was cloudy, and it felt like his body was on fire. Poison. _This is it. I’m dying over a stupid fucking lever._

Vorstag fell face down on the ground as blackness closed around him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next: Poison and draugr.


	8. Ancient Depths

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Things go wrong too fast for Vorstag... near death does that. Fortunately, he has Lucinia.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I tried to make Bleakfall Barrow interesting. I hope you like it.

The first thing he noticed was the raging headache. The pain was worse than his worst hangover, but he was comfortable on the nice pillow and soft bedroll despite the illness. His mouth tasted like shit, his tongue thick and dry as if he swallowed a batch of cotton flowers. The mercenary didn't remember drinking so much the night before, thinking he blacked out, hence the headache. When his eyes came into focus, he didn't recognize where he was, then saw a weeping Anaka. The girl jumped on his body, weeping in his chest when she saw him awake.

"I'm so sorry… so sorry… so sorry!" she wailed.

Everything dawned on him as his memories returned—the darts, the poison, protecting Anaka. How was he still alive? Vorstag lifted his eyes to see a worried Lucinia looking down at him. Her pale green eyes glittered in the light, her fingers raking his hair back. _Is she petting me?_

"You're alive! Mara have mercy!" the mage said.

He glanced around, wondering where he was. There were bedrolls, a campfire, dead bandits… dead bandits. They were at the entrance to the Nordic ruins. The mercenary tried to sit up, but a sharp pain shot through his head. It felt as if someone jabbed him in his skull with a dagger. His stomach roiled.

Lucinia pulled him back and pillowed his head on her lap. "Lie back. You aren't going anywhere right now."

His lips smacked and tried to talk, but his mouth was thick. He needed water. "Wa... wat…"

"Do you need water?" Anaka asked. Before he answered, she rushed off to grab his waterskin and brought it back. The girl opened it and tipped it to his mouth. He grabbed her arm to stop when it became too much, choking him.

"I feel like shit," he croaked, his voice hoarse, throat raw. "Why aren't I dead? I thought I was dead. How did we get back up here?"

"I healed you, and I have a few potions in my bag. One of them counteracted the poison, and with my healing, I kept you alive, though it was touch and go for a while. Anaka and I used our telekinesis spells together, though we need practice. We brought you to where you would be more comfortable."

Anaka was crying again on her drawn-up knees, hands to her face. "I'm so sorry!"

"It's fine. You had no idea. But… I'm too... We need to talk about that… when I don't feel as if I… have a knife in my brain."

An unfamiliar warmth entered his head and spread through his body. The pain vanished, almost normal again, his sigh of relief audible. He should sit up, but he was too comfortable. The last thing Vorstag wanted to do was to go back through the ruins. He may have recovered, but exhaustion plagued him. The mercenary tried to sit up only to be pulled back.

"Stop moving and lie still," the mage said.

"I'm better now."

"You needed to be awake, so I could figure out what pains you. Then I can heal better. I'm sure you're better, but you need to rest. You nearly died, mercenary."

Vorstag could hear the girl sniffling still, watching her look at him with those teary doe eyes, arms wrapped around her legs as she rocked back and forth. Anaka was imploding with emotions. He had to say something.

"Anaka, what you did was an accident. I am fine. I am here to protect you, and I did. If I didn't, you would be the one where I am. The agreement was I would come with you and Lucinia, so I'm not going to just let you die." 

"I pulled the lever and you… you fell… and, and… You were right; we shouldn't have come. I wasn't ready."

He wanted to agree with her, but the fact was he didn't prepare her. Sure, he trained her with a sword and bow, but he left out what to expect. The fault laid with him. "That wasn't your doing, girl, it was mine. I didn't explain the dangers of traps and stupidly assumed you would be behind me, and I could catch everything. I should have gone into detail about what to expect. It is not your fault."

Vorstag forced himself to get up, shaking off Lucinia's fussing. He felt idiotic using Lucinia's lap as a pillow despite how comfortable as she was. She tried to pull him back once more, but he shrugged her off again. "Leave me, woman. I'm fine," he grumbled, then cringed at his reaction. "Sorry, I didn't mean to snap. I… I just need to get up now."

His head was still spinning, but he was better than he was moments ago. Hey eyed the mage, hands folded in her lap, her face was still full of concern. The fussing over him made the mercenary uncomfortable, not used to it, but he had to show her gratitude. Vorstag picked up her hand; they looked so small in his large ones, holding it. "Thank you for saving me. I'm the protector, not the other way around. So… anyway, thanks."

Lucinia remained quiet. The worry in her eyes remained, but the small smile was genuine. He let go of her hand and rummaged in his pack for food, finding himself starving. Perhaps it was from the poison and healing. What time was it anyway? "How long have I been out?"

"Around two hours. The healing was slow," Lucinia said.

"So it's nighttime now. Are you both OK if we just stayed here for a little while? We have food and a fire. Then we can finish this cursed quest in the morning."

Without waiting for an answer, Vorstag set his food down and stood, wobbling until he found his footing, then pulled the dead bandits towards the ruins' far end. No one wanted to camp next to death.

When he returned, he handed the girls food too, and they ate by the fire in silence. It was strange to have Anaka so silent, pensive, skin pale in the firelight. He supposed it was a learning lesson for the girl. Life was full of mistakes, and Anaka made one, but so did he. She will learn from this. Next time, the girl will be more careful.

"Anaka, stop your worrying. It was my fault."

"How is that possible? I pulled the lever that almost killed you, Mr. Vorstag."

"I didn't teach you. When we go through these ruins of Oblivion tomorrow, you will follow my lead and touch nothing. Is that understood?"

The girl said yes as her head nodded with vigor.

"There are many traps in ancient ruins. We have no idea where this tablet is or what to expect, so we will go through each camber with caution. I will lead because I know what the traps look like. There will be draugr, walking dead, because there are always draugr. You and Lucinia will use fire against them. We can run into anything in there, so let's be cautious tomorrow."

Vorstag felt he needed to do something as Anaka looked so miserable. Inwardly he groaned, not used to affection, and pulled the girl into an embrace, knowing it would make her feel better. It was better than watching her mope all night. "It's OK, girl. I promise."

"I will never forget what happened and use this time to learn. I wish my visions would give me more to prepare with, but I know now I cannot rely on them alone, so I need to be more careful," she said, returning once more to her adult mind.

"You will, girl."

She pulled away from his embrace, and Vorstag knew he did his job when she gave him a smile, as small as it was.

After their meager meal, the mercenary went over the plans again, ensuring the women followed his lead. 

Anaka fell asleep on a bedroll, but Lucinia and Vorstag were still awake, both staring into the fire. It preoccupied Vorstag's mind with what happened earlier that day. He didn't think about Anaka and her mistake, or his own error in not teaching her. His thoughts drifted to his near death. No, he thought he was dead when he fell. What bothered him the most wasn't the dying part, but that he had no thoughts about it when it happened. He just accepted it as darkness closed around him. There were no worries of losing family, love, friendship—no proverbial life flashing in front of his eyes. There were countless stories of people who had near-death experiences. Vorstag had none of those. It left him depressed over the whole thing—empty. The realization that a few jobs, drinking, and a few wenches summed up his life was disturbing. There was nothing more in his life. It was as barren as the wastes of Eastmarch.

"You look troubled," Lucinia whispered to not wake the girl.

"Do I?" Vorstag cursed himself for not covering up his face better. He wasn't one to show emotions for others to see.

"I can imagine almost dying can make one… reflective regarding their life." 

The woman was intuitive, more than the mercenary gave her credit. "Aye. I'm reflecting."

"I'm glad you didn't die, Vorstag."

The man blew out a laugh. "I'm glad too. Thanks for bringing me back."

"Well, it was purely for selfish reasons. We need your body as a shield again."

Vorstag looked at the mage and saw the humor in her eyes, laughing himself. She was teasing him. He knew she wasn't a heartless woman, despite her periodic nagging, and saved him regardless of needing him or not. 

"I know you're Mr. Stoic Tough Guy, but do you want to talk about it?"

His first reaction was to tell her no. Vorstag didn't want to talk about it—to brood more, but that was just going so well for him. He knew now he had no real friends or anyone to talk to about this. Vorstag supposed Lucinia could be that person if he allowed it and stopped being such an asshole. There used to be kindness in him, patience, love—when his sister was still alive. Her death and blaming his brother for it left him, not bitter, just distant.

"Fine, if you won't talk, I'm going to sleep," she said, curling up on the bedroll to prove her point.

"I'm not used to talking about feelings crap."

"You don't say?"

"I know, I know, it comes as a shock. It's… embarrassing."

"Do you know what's embarrassing? Me throwing up on the back of a man you danced with all night from drinking too much. It really doesn't get more embarrassing than that."

Vorstag couldn't help but laugh. Yes, he could imagine how embarrassed she was—mortified. He had to admit it was disgusting being thrown up on, but it wasn't something he couldn't get past. "Fair enough. You got me. To be honest, this is worse. I can clean vomit, the memory of it forgotten, but my past cannot."

"Ah, so you looked back with disappointment?" she asked.

He looked at her intense eyes in wonder at how observant she was. "Aye. There was nothing—nothing at all when I blacked out."

"What do you mean?"

The mercenary grew silent, struggling with words or even if he wanted to discuss it. He started telling her anyway, and the mage hadn't made him feel like shit yet. In fact, Lucinia understood despite her sheltered life. 

"There was no one—no face that captured my dying moment. Not one person. I have no friends, lovers. I have my brother, but we only recently reunited, and we aren't close. I… had no regrets to miss out on if that makes any sense. Bah, who wants regrets anyway?"

"In other words, you wish you had something or someone to miss if you died? Or perhaps no one would miss you?"

Vorstag looked at her and nodded. He appreciated her grasp of the situation at that moment, even as embarrassing as it was. She understood him. "Yes. See? It's embarrassing and stupid. I shouldn't want to die with regrets, but..." He couldn't finish what he wanted to say. Lucinia seemed to figure it out better than he did.

"Why is it embarrassing?"

He didn't have an answer, remaining silent.

Since he didn't answer her, Lucinia shrugged. "Well, you have nothing to be embarrassed about. I'm assuming everyone handles near-death experiences in different ways. To change the subject, I appreciate how you handled Anaka. She was in a distraught state, thinking she killed you. You talked to her and made her smile again. Anaka is taken in with you."

"Shor's ass, I don't know why." The mercenary didn't know what else to say. He just told the girl the truth.

"She sees more in you than just what comes out of your mouth, 'Mr. Vorstag.'"

The man squirmed in discomfort, not wanting to talk anymore. He wasn't used to talking about emotions and feelings. He laid down on a bedroll to sleep with nothing else to say. Lucinia did the same.

Vorstag needed fresh air. He didn't know how long he slept, but he assumed it was morning since he was well-rested. He rubbed the sleep out of his eyes and stretching, he walked over to the doors and opened them to get some air. The snow was still blowing, and it was dark out from the cloud cover, but he inhaled the crisp air, cleansing his lungs. While in the entrance, the ruins smelled fine, but deeper in with the draugr would reek like old death and mold.

When he went back in, he woke up Lucinia and Anaka and handed them some food. The three ate in silence before heading back into the ruins.

"Do you think we will see any more bandits?" Anaka asked.

"I don't know. I don't think so. That dead one in that chamber of poisonous horror was probably the last."

Vorstag rubbed her head playfully when he saw the sadness in her eyes. He had to admit the girl was growing on him. "No weepy eyes today, girl. Let's focus."

"What's that for," he asked the mage as she put the strap of a bag crosswise around her shoulders. 

"Since we are leaving our things behind, I need something to carry extra potions, and in case I find things to collect for alchemy and such. There are more treasures other than gold and gems in these ruins."

"What, like draugr skin or something?" he asked, shuddering.

"Hmm, maybe." Lucinia laughed at his appalled face.

"I figured out the puzzle before you became a human pincushion," Lucinia said when they reached the chamber where Vorstag nearly died. "See those animals up there and right next to the lever? They are the answer, and those movable pillars are the question—in a way. We just have to move the pillars to match."

Each of them grabbed a pillar and moved them to the corresponding animals. Lucinia walked to the lever to pull it before Vorstag grabbed her hand. "No, I will do it."

"You almost died already once," she protested.

"And you healed me. You could do it again if we did it wrong. Plus, you are our only healer."

The mage nodded, though her eyes showed worry for him again. When she stepped back, Vorstag held his breath, closed his eyes, and pulled the lever. He cracked an eye open, seeing he was still alive, letting out an audible breath.

"Nice work," he said. "Let's move on."

The next room was a dead end until they saw a spiral staircase built into the floor. "Hold on," Vorstag said, stopping them. There were a table and a chest. He picked up some gems off the table, shoving them in his pockets before opening the chest. "Nothing. Too bad."

They walked down the rickety wooden steps, Vorstag heard it. Something was coming towards them fast. Sword ready, he swung at the Skeever about to attack. The giant rat-looking creatures, vile with molting fur, riddled with disease. They may appear like rats, but they were the size of a large dog. Only the poor and desperate ate them. After killing it, two more came at him, and Lucinia used fire to kill them.

"Shit…" Vorstag muttered, his voice laced with agitation when they reached the lower chamber.

"What?" Lucinia and Anaka asked at the same time.

"I'd rather not tell you, but you have to be ready. See those webs? It looks like they grow thicker as we go forward—"

"Frost Spiders," Lucinia said.

"Aye. Be ready."

Anaka didn't utter a word, but her face said it all—fear and disgust.

_"Is... is someone coming? Is that you, Harknir? Bjorn? Soling?"_

Vorstag turned to the women with a finger pressed to his lips for silence as they walked forward.

_"I know I ran ahead with the claw, but I need help!"_

"Can you burn these webs down?" whispered Vorstag to Anaka to give her something to do. It was a simple job, but he wanted her to be a part of the team—to feel useful.

The girl nodded a bright smile on her face and cast fire at the webs as they burned away. When they walked in, sticky webs and massive spider eggs filled the large room. Across the way hung a Dunmer trapped and ready for a spider snack, struggling in the webs.

"Who are you? Oh, never mind. Cut me down before that thing gets us!" he ordered.

“Fucking bandits,” muttered Vorstag.

As the group ambled over towards the Dunmer, a large shadow was cast on the ground. All eyes went upward to see the most enormous spider, bigger than any of them had ever seen. It came down on a thick web, looking as if it were floating down.

"Back up. Now!"

As soon as the massive spider landed, it aimed its ass at the group and fired its venom. It was Lucinia's quick thinking with her ward that protected them. If the venom hit, they would have been paralyzed long enough for the spider to wrap them up as a tasty meal. They would be trapped just as the elf was.

"Anaka, conjure a bow… you are a better shot! Lucinia, use fire!" Vorstag ordered. The women would attack from afar while he rolled into the creature to kill it up close. As soon as the mercenary reached the beast, he swung at its legs with heavy blows, trying not to think about Lucinia or Anaka missing the spider and hitting him. He had to trust they would not injure him. Because the creature was so focused on the mercenary, the girls were able to attack it freely. If its attention was drawn away, Vorstag would call it back.

"Get it away from me. Get it away! Keep it away from me," yelled the Dunmer in a panic.

"I'm a little busy right now!" Vorstag yelled back.

It was no easy feat to avoid pinching legs, fangs, or venom while trying to kill the creature. The spider was weakening, arrows protruding out of its body, places on its flesh were on fire, but the spider was massive, and it looked like they were barely doing any damage at all. The mercenary had to risk it. Vorstag rolled on the ground towards the underbelly and thrust his sword upward. The spider's guts and viscera narrowly missed spilling on him. Though he moved out of the way, the vile contents still splashed on him. The spider was weakening, and Vorstag rolled away before it crashed on top of him.

Once the mercenary was clear, both Lucinia and Anaka blasted the creature to death with fire. 

"Get me down. Get me down!" yelled the bandit.

"Give us fucking moment!" Vorstag tried to wipe off the spider guts, trying not to retch. "Fucking spiders."

"How did I do, Mr. Vorstag?" Anaka asked, excitement in her eyes, a smile on her face, but she still seemed to need his approval.

"You did great, girl. Well done... You too, mage."

The Dunmer squirmed in his sticky bindings. "You did it. You killed it. Now cut me down before anything else shows up. Help me down, and I'll show you. You won't believe the power the Nords have hidden there."

"I have an inkling," Vorstag said, drawing his dagger, and started cutting away the webs from the elf. The elf crashed to the ground, picking the stickiness from his armor. Instead of thanking them, he ran deeper into the ruins. "You fool, why would I share the treasure with anyone?"

"Bastard…"

" _Fus Ro!_ "

It looked as if the bandit's body lifted into the air of its own accord, slamming him against the stone wall. On the ground, the Dunmer struggled to get up, rubbing his head. Vorstag didn't waste his opportunity and killed him. 

"Nice work, Anaka. Quick thinking—the kind that will keep you alive."

Anaka giggled, pleased that the mercenary was happy.

Vorstag whistled when he pulled a golden claw out of the bandit's bag. "Would you look at that? I bet this will bring in a hefty amount of gold."

"Let me see that," Lucinia said, grabbing it from his hands, inspecting the object. "This is interesting. It looks like a dragon's foot. I wonder what it is." She turned it over and showed it to the mercenary.

"See here? See these animals? They are like the door puzzle. I wonder if this is a key of some sort."

"Do you think so? The bandit mentioned something about treasure."

"Perhaps this is where we will find the Dragonstone. I mean, it makes sense. If the Dragonstone is valuable, I doubt it would just be lying around—it would be protected."

"I'm sure it's protected by more than just a locked door. Let's go."

"Wait, a moment if you will." Lucinia ran off towards the dead spider, dug in her satchel, and pulled out a small glass vial. She dug around where the spider shot its venom, scooping a little into the jar, disgust on her face. 

"Why? Why, in all of Nirn, would dig in a spider's ass?"

"For Frost Spider venom. I can make potions with it—poisons that we can put on weapons."

"Well… that's good, I guess, if not a little disgusting."

As they made their way in further, the odor that hit his nose was unmistakable. It was the stench of old death. It wasn't the typical scent of rot because the corpses were too old for that. It was like musty and moldy with a tinge of decomposition. They walked down some steps, sure enough, it was a crypt full of the dead in open coffins tucked into the walls. 

"If we are lucky, we can sneak by these bastards," the mercenary whispered to the girls. "Be ready."

Of course not. Why would they have any luck? As soon as the group reached the bottom steps, several draugr stirred awake. "Remember what I told you," he yelled, sword ready.

There were only three, which made for easy cleaning and good practice for Lucinia and Anaka, who handled themselves well. After they moved on, Vorstag showed them the pressure plate trap, and if pressed, it would slam a spiked gate into them. They cleared several rooms of draugr, passed two more traps, and the tombs ended into a small cave system. Fresh air from the flowing waters and ice hit the group as they inhaled, relieved from the stench. 

"Hang on," Lucinia said, stopping at some mushrooms that glowed in the darkness. She pulled out her dagger and cut off some pieces, tossing them into her satchel. Vorstag must have looked curious or annoyed because she explained why she needed the mushrooms. "They are useful for health or if I want to make my destruction magic stronger."

A dead troll and one more draugr later, Vorstag, Lucinia, and Anaka stood in awe at the massive circular door. It had metal rings with animals engraved on them. Lucinia placed three fingers in the holes centering the door. "This must be the lock. I would bet all those gems you found that the gold claw is the key."

Vorstag pulled out the claw, handing it to her. 

"Vorstag, move the top ring to the bear, the middle one to the moth—I think that is what it is. Anaka, move the smallest one to the owl."

When they aligned the rings on the door, Lucinia put the claw into the holes and turned. The round door soon moaned and groaned in protest from misuse. Dust sprinkled down, making them cough as the door lowered into the ground. Open before them was a massive cave with ancient stalactites and stalagmites. Clean water flowed, and waterfalls cascaded into the cave. Daylight streamed from an opening in the ceiling. 

The group walked in with combined wariness and awe. Though there appeared to be no threat, they were nonetheless cautious. "It looks safe. But was that door to keep something in or out? I don't like the look of that coffin up ahead," Vorstag whispered.

"Is that… is that one of those Word Walls Arngeir was talking about?" Anaka asked. "It looks like dragon writing." The girl learned her lesson from the last time and didn't run off, staying behind Vorstag as they walked forward.

"Give us that muffle spell, Lucinia," Vorstag said.

He told them to stay put with the spell cast as he drew his sword, walking towards the coffin. His gut screamed that there was danger in there. When he reached it, he peered over the open coffin's edge, and sure enough, a sleeping draugr was lying there looking dead, but the mercenary sensed it was lying in wait. It differed from the others dressed in full armor. He thrust his sword into its chest, its eyes popped open, but drew blank in death. Vorstag did a quick scan around the area and deemed it safe, calling Lucinia and Anaka out.

"I think this draugr is the only resident protecting something. Search around for the Dragonstone."

Instead of looking, he watched Anaka walk up to the wall and raised her hand to touch the stone's glyphs. The ribbon-like glowing light swirled around the girl as he watched her do with the Greybeards. "Are you OK?"

Anaka nodded. "Yes, I just learned a new shout. It seems I have finished 'Unrelenting Force,' the one you call 'stagger.' If I can fling bodies against walls with two words, I can't imagine what three will do. I… I can hear the whispers and language swirling in my head from what little I have learned." The girl stepped away from the wall as if afraid of it. "I… I don't know what it will be like as I learn more. What happens when I absorb more souls? Will… will I hear the dragons too?"

Lucinia grasped the girl's shoulders for reassurance. "I'm sure the Greybeards can help you sort through it all."

"Where is the damned stone?" Vorstag grunted. "I've looked in the entire cavern."

"Look under the creature," Anaka suggested.

The mercenary didn't want to touch the draugr, since he looked everywhere else. Sure enough, there was the Dragonstone, or he assumed it was with the dragon writing all over it. "How did you know?"

The girl shrugged. "I just… sensed it. He was its guardian."

Vorstag wondered if it troubled her. "Are you OK?"

"Yes, I just want to go."

They followed the steps up and out of the cave, which brought them to the outside. It relieved all three of them that they didn't have to go back through the entire ruins, but they would have to climb down the mountain's side. 

"Let's rest in Riverwood since it's the closest."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading!


	9. The Dragons Are Coming

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> What do you get when you have a beautiful warm day and a cute Imperial mage bouncing around chasing butterflies and collecting flowers for her alchemy? You get a smitten Vorstag. Who knew he had a soft side. But not everything is roses. Anaka is forced to fight her first dragon and absorbing souls is outright disturbing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! I would love to know what you think down in the comments <3

Despite the almost dying thing, the hunt for the Dragonstone turned out to be profitable. Vorstag went inside Riverwood’s little shop to sell a few gems he found while Lucinia and Anaka waited in the tavern. Inside, two people were arguing about a stolen artifact—the same artifact in his pack, it turned out. The shopkeeper rewarded him with a thousand Septim for finding and returning the claw with many thanks. With the money earned between the reward and the gems, he was half-way there. Another twenty-five hundred Septim and he could buy that house in Whiterun. When the mercenary sold the rest of the gems, all he needed was to take a few jobs, and he would have enough. But Vorstag wouldn’t blow all his gold on the house. He had to have enough for supplies, food, and such. It wasn’t a simple thing taking care of others; in fact, it was downright expensive. There wasn’t much he needed when he was on his own, but now that Vorstag had a woman and a girl to watch over… well, it was a strange job, indeed, that he had to pay to take care of his patrons instead of the other way around.

Lucinia and Vorstag agreed to turn in the stone the next day after arriving at his brother’s house. They needed to take a rest. The afternoon was unusually warm for the season, not a cloud in the sky. The mercenary would not squander the lovely day away, so he grabbed a book and some wine to read outside.

The younger kids were playing some chasing game. The eldest boy was talking to Anaka, making her blush. Vorstag was OK with it as long as there was no kissing or touching. Gretga was feeding the chickens, and Jolf was yanking weeds from the smaller garden that fed the family. There was a strange sense of contentment surrounding Vorstag. He felt at peace for the first time in years. Perhaps because the day was so beautiful.

Lucinia was back in her dress, standing in the field of wildflowers. Her dark hair in frizzy curls was blowing all over the place in the breeze. She picked the flowers, inhaling each one, smiling, before placing them in her satchel. The warm days brought about an abundance of flowers and plants and insects, so Lucinia was on the hunt. The mage was gathering ingredients for potion making before the weather turned once more. It seemed to be a hobby of hers. Soon she was bouncing around like some deranged rabbit, hands reaching, chasing, laughing. _What is she doing?_

Vorstag watched her, a smile on his face as she crouched, hands out, sneaking up on something sitting on a branch. With cat-like reflexes, she lunged. She missed, but she just laughed, watching the blue butterfly flutter away. He didn’t remember her ever laughing like that before. It was strangely throaty from such a small thing, not matching her voice at all. Her cheeks were a lovely shade of pink on her olive skin from the warm day and chasing butterflies. Vorstag had seen nothing so happy and beautiful—Shor’s ass, and that fucking hair. He couldn’t help but chuckle.

“She’s a sight, is she not? I can see how it would be hard to take your eyes off of her.”

The mercenary refused to acknowledge he jumped out of his skin at the intrusion of his thoughts. He had to calm his heart, afraid Gretga was able to hear it. “Lucinia looks like an idiot bouncing around chasing butterflies she can’t catch.”

“Is that why you can’t take your eyes off of her?” Gretga asked, teased, figuring him out. She was behind him, but he could hear the humor in her voice, provoking him.

“I was reading. My eyes were nowhere near her.”

“Then how did you know she was chasing butterflies? Besides, your book is upside down.”

Vorstag felt the heat creep up his face at getting caught. “It’s hard not to notice her ridiculous bouncing. She was distracting me.”

Gretga sat next to him in the grass. There was pink on her cheeks from the warmth and work, a broad smile on her face—a face of knowing. Why couldn’t people just leave him alone? They were always poking and prodding, invading his thoughts, teasing. 

“You don’t think she’s beautiful?” she asked.

“I didn’t say that.”

“I don’t know… I think Lucinia looks adorable, jumping around trying to catch insects, picking flowers. She’s a sight.”

“So, you said.”

“Why don’t you take her dancing again. She seemed to like it the last time, and, as I recall, you did too.”

“I was keeping her away from all the creeps that would take advantage of her.”

“Are you sure that’s all it was?”

“Is there a reason for your interrogations? I get enough of that from Anaka.”

Gretga soon seemed nervous, as if in a debate with herself. “Have you ever been in love, Vorstag?”

“What sort of question is that?” he asked, now uncomfortable, controlling his muscles to keep from fleeing.

“Jolf and I, well, we feel—”

“We are not having this conversation.”

Vorstag abruptly stood, annoyed. He didn’t want to talk about Lucinia, dancing, or chasing butterflies anymore. Slamming his book closed and grabbing his cup, he walked back to the house. Why was he getting so defensive? What did it matter that he was looking at Lucinia? She was beautiful. He stared at beautiful women before. Because those women were different. No, Lucinia was the different one. It didn’t matter.

If he had been forthcoming with Gretga, he would have told her he thought he was in love once... with her. He was young and stupid. Typically, women were an outlet for him, a distraction. That didn’t mean he didn’t like or respect them; he did and loved them differently. If he had sex, he didn’t just fuck them and leave. Vorstag took his time and gave them pleasure as well. It was the commitment thing that he had a problem with, not that he was against that either. It was working as a mercenary. He was used to living alone and living a solitary life. Besides, no woman could ever capture his heart and distract him enough to spend more time with her. Gretga would have achieved it and held him there, and he would have been happy for it. Instead, his brother caught her eye. But that wasn’t his brother’s fault.

It agitated the mercenary, pacing back and forth in the room he shared with Lucinia. The mage was on his mind entirely too much, especially after she saved him, his head on her lap, her fingers combing back his hair, the worry on her face. That visual kept forcing its way into his mind. Then that damned bouncing around like a stupid kitten chasing insects. But she didn’t look foolish or ridiculous as he said she did. She looked beautiful, full of light and life. _Forget it_. There was no time for anything but getting Anaka trained and ready for dragons. They had another mission to do, and he had to find more work. There was no time for women.

Decision made, Vorstag headed downstairs when he crashed into Lucinia in the doorway. He grabbed her by the waist to keep her from falling. Her embarrassed face turned pink as she blushed prettily. Those eyes of hers had him melting. Her full lips parted, out of breath from the surprise collision. Vorstag could almost hear her heart hammering as his heart was. The puzzle piece that was her body fit perfectly into his. The mercenary’s face reached for her, not letting her go. The mage’s eyes drifted to his mouth, unmoving, face flushed. Then it was as if sense reached him as he righted the woman, letting her go. 

“Sorry, I…,” he mumbled, not finishing what he was going to say and left the room, not looking back. He almost kissed Lucinia, and she was going to respond, but he took the coward’s path and stopped it. It was for the best. There was no time for such things. He figured if he kept telling himself that, then maybe it would become real.

Vorstag felt like a foolish teen avoiding Lucinia the rest of the day. He was embarrassed and struggled to convey that he wasn’t interested in her despite the near kiss. It wasn’t an avoidance in the sense that he was completely ignoring her—he was talking to her—but he didn’t want to discuss what happened between them. Lucinia frequently looked his way, her eyes questioning.

After he bathed, he walked up from the cellar, greeted with the delicious aromas of cooking. The air was fragrant with herbs and a richness that came with cooking with wine. He headed into the kitchen, surprised to see Lucinia cooking instead of Gretga.

“I thought you were terrible at cooking,” he said.

Lucinia looked back from her stirring, giving him a bright and toothy smile that made his heart stop. “I never said I couldn’t cook.”

“But you said—”

“I said I couldn’t hunt,” she corrected.

“Well… it smells good.”

She gave him another bright smile, pale green eyes… time to leave the kitchen.

“Where are you going? I could use some help here since everyone else seems to have disappeared.”

“I… OK,” Vorstag said, resigning to the fact that she was going to push him to stay. “What do you need me to do?”

“Can you chop those onions? That is one thing I struggle with as they make me cry.”

“Sure.”

Vorstag wasn’t much of a cook, usually spending his gold on food prepared in taverns. In Markarth, his room didn’t exactly have a kitchen or a hearth. It was just a room with a bed and a dresser. He hoped he could at least cut well enough. 

“Smaller pieces, if you will.”

He dumped the onions in the pot as instructed and left the kitchen. 

“You’re not done yet. I need four garlic cloves, skins removed, and just smashed. No need to dice.”

Again, the mercenary did as he was told and dumped the garlic in the pot with the onions. “Anything else?”

“Yes, keep stirring so I can get the bread baking. So, are you going to tell me what that was all about today?”

There it was. The mage wanted help so she could corner him when they were alone. “What do you mean?” _Avoiding_.

“You know exactly what I mean, Vorstag.”

“I didn’t want you falling on that lovely ass of yours. Then I would have to listen to you complain all day about your tailbone,” he said. _Deflection_. He didn’t want or need to talk about it, for there was nothing to discuss. It was a fleeting moment, nothing more. 

“I see,” she said, the disappointment evident in her eyes, not falling for his teasing.

He refused to discuss it. It was nothing.

“Anything else?” he asked.

“No, you can go. Thank you.”

The mercenary was probably the only one not talking around the table at dinner. It was loud, all the children over-talking each other while the adults tried to get a word in edgewise. At least he managed to tell Lucinia how good the meal was over the noise. It was the proper thing to do, but he didn’t lie. The food was delicious. Her smile forced him to look at something else, shoveling food in his mouth.

Vorstag shoved thoughts of chasing butterflies, combing hair, bright smiles with the rest of the things he chose not to deal with as he laid in bed. He heard Lucinia come into their room, so he rolled over, facing away from her, not wanting to see her prying eyes. If he avoided it enough, she would eventually tire of it. He thanked the powers that be that she said nothing as he dozed off.

The weather continued to be pleasant as Vorstag, Lucinia and Anaka headed to Dragonsreach to return the stone after a morning of training with the bow. The two women were getting better with their aim, especially the girl. She was a natural at archery. He could tell they were both getting stronger too. They could hold swords up for longer periods without their arms getting tired, and they moved faster while sparring. It pleased him that the women took his training seriously. They will need to be capable fighters.

“I bet we get a reward,” Anaka said, skipping alongside Vorstag.

“That would be nice,” he replied. “The more gold we can save, the better. When we finish with the wizard, I need to sell the rest of the gems I found.”

“What are we going to do with all that gold? You must feel very rich, Mr. Vorstag.”

“I have to admit, it’s been a while since I earned this much gold… well, I didn’t earn all of it, but you know what I mean. There is a house I’m trying to buy here in Whiterun.”

Anaka and Lucinia stopped walking, leaving Vorstag to talk to himself, not realizing he was alone. The unusual silence stopped him. “What’s wrong?” he asked, turning around, looking at the stunned faces.

“Nothing, we just think you are so nice to take care of us,” Anaka said. 

No, not the doe eyes again. “Stop... I told you what the plans were.”

“But an entire house to ourselves!” Anaka said, running up to him for a hug. But he stopped her in her tracks. 

The mercenary looked back at Lucinia and groaned. “Not you too. Don’t read too much into it. My brother’s children are driving me crazy, that’s all. One Anaka is enough.”

“You’re funny, Mr. Vorstag,” Anaka giggled, taking no offense to his comment.

When they walked into Dragonsreach, they could see Farengar talking to some woman, her face hidden by a hood. 

“The terminology is clearly First Era, or even earlier. I’m convinced this is a copy of a much older text. Perhaps dating to just after the Dragon War. If so, I could use this to cross-reference the names with other later texts.”

“Time is running, Farengar, don’t forget. This isn’t some theoretical question. Dragons have come back,” the woman said, then looked up, seeing Vorstag and the woman. “You have visitors.”

“Hmm? Ah, yes, the Jarl’s protege back from Bleak Falls Barrow? You didn’t die, it seems.”

Vorstag handed the stone to Anaka to give to the wizard. She was the Dragonborn, not him.

“Ah! The Dragonstone of Bleak Falls Barrow! Seems you are a cut above the usual brutes the Jarl sends my way. My... associate here will be pleased to see your handiwork. She discovered its location by means she has so far declined to share with me,” Farengar said, looking at Vorstag despite Anaka giving him the stone.

“Tell the Dragonborn, not me. She is the one who found it,” Vorstag said, not hiding his irritation. He knew they would dismiss Anaka as not only a female but a teen, so he had to be sure to show people the error of their ways.

“Indeed,” the wizard said, forcing himself to look at the girl. “Well, thank you then.”

“You went into Bleak Falls Barrow and got that? Nice work,” the strange woman told Anaka, having no problem acknowledging the girl.

Vorstag eyed the stranger with suspicion. There was something not right about her. She was too secretive, refusing to show her face, but her voice was strangely familiar.

“Will there be a reward? The ruins were challenging,” Anaka said when the woman left. Vorstag found himself proud of her for asking, being assertive, a leader. 

“You will need to talk to the Jarl about that,” the wizard replied.

Anaka led the way out, taking charge without being told to find the Jarl. As they walked out, Lucinia grabbed Vorstag’s arm, holding him back.

“I will find you in a minute. I have to talk to Farengar,” she said.

“That’s fine,” he said, following Anaka.

Vorstag and Anaka walked up to the war room, where the Jarl was looking over a large map. 

“Excuse me, my Jarl,” Anaka said, giving the man a slight bow. “We have returned from Bleak Falls Barrow for your wizard. He said we should see you about payment.”

“Ah, yes. Well done,” the Jarl said. “Avenicci! Pay these people for Farengar’s job.”

“Yes, my Jarl,” said the small balding man, handing the girl a sack of gold. “This should cover expenses.”

“Thank you,” she said, handing Vorstag the gold.

Before Vorstag and Anaka could leave, Lucinia came running up to them, fear in her eyes. The Jarl’s Housecarl and Farengar followed her with a soldier close behind.

“What is going on?” the Jarl demanded.

“Tell him what you told me… about the dragon,” said Irileth to a soldier.

The guard shifted nervously. The mercenary wasn’t sure if it was because of the news or talking directly to the Jarl. “We saw a dragon coming from the south. It was fast... faster than anything I’ve ever seen.”

Vorstag felt Anaka’s hand wrap in his. He could see the fear in her eyes as she looked up at him. The mercenary gave her hand a tight squeeze, his way of telling her it would be fine.

“What did it do? Is it attacking the watchtower?” the Jarl asked, arms clasped behind his back, pacing.

“No, my lord. It was just circling overhead when I left. I never ran so fast in my life... I thought it would come after me for sure.”

“Excellent work, son. We’ll take it from here. Head down to the barracks for some food and rest. You’ve earned it. Irileth, you’d better gather some guardsmen and get down there.”

“I’ve already ordered my men to muster near the main gate.”

The Jarl approached Anaka, and Vorstag was grateful he was addressing her instead of him, the mercenary. “Please, I know you have done a lot for me already, but you are the only one who has seen a dragon before. We need you there. Please.”

The man had enough understanding and kindness in him that he got down on one knee facing Anaka after seeing the fear in her eyes. “I know it is scary, and you haven’t had to fight a dragon yet, but you are the Dragonborn. You have shown me the visions. I know you can do this.”

Vorstag gave her hand another squeeze. “Lucinia and I will be there too, plus all the soldiers. We can do this, Anaka.”

Anaka took a deep breath, stood straighter, and let go of Vorstag’s hand as if telling herself it was time to grow up. “I will do it.”

Before the girl ran off, Vorstag pulled her aside with Lucinia. “Let’s plan this out before we rush in on the dragon killing. Anaka, use spells, your conjured bow, and if you can use shouts against it, do so. Lucinia, you will use spells and a bow if you can. I will not tell you this twice… do NOT fight the creature with a sword or up close. Do you understand? Leave that to the trained soldiers and me. Stay back and try to analyze how the creature fights and moves. Promise me you will not get close.”

“I promise,” said Anaka.

“Promise,” Lucinia agreed.

The watchtower was in flames and nearly collapsed. It was bedlam with the smoke, dying soldiers, some too terrified to come out of hiding. It looked like a war zone, but the enemy was nowhere. Vorstag looked up and around, but there was no dragon. 

“Mara have mercy, it’s gone,” Lucinia said, relieved that they didn’t have to fight the creature.

“You spoke too soon,” Vorstag said, seeing the creature fly down from the mountains, headed straight for them. 

Irileth arrived with a retinue of soldiers, bolstering the others that had fought the dragon already. Vorstag pulled out his bow and looked back at Lucinia and Anaka, who did the same. The fear was apparent in their eyes, and he wondered if his eyes mirrored their own. He certainly felt fear. Even the bravest of men would piss themselves at that very moment as the dragon swept over them, blasting flames out of its mouth. If Vorstag was good at anything, it was using his fears in battle to hone his senses. He had years of practice. But he knew it could paralyze the inexperienced.

Arrows after arrows flew through the air, but hardly any of them made their mark. The dragon was too fast as it flew overhead. Anaka ran off before Vorstag could grab her, cursing that she wasn’t staying back as she promised. “Wait!” he yelled, but she ignored him.

The dragon seemed to be aware of the girl’s importance and hovered over her, taunting her, laughing. Vorstag’s fear went into full-blown panic, knowing the dragon was about to blast Anaka in flames. _Why is she just standing there!_

“Anaka!”

Anaka did a shout at the dragon, and Vorstag stopped in his tracks. It covered the creature in ice as it fell to the ground. He shook off his shock, running to the girl, and lifted her away before rushing back with his sword drawn. He and the other soldiers wasted no time hacking at the beast before it shook off the ice. Once it was free of its icy prison, it was bleeding profusely. 

The girl tried to stagger the dragon with her other shout, but it appeared resistant, so she froze it once more with her quick thinking. They covered the dragon in arrows and wounds, but it was only marginally slowing down. The ice froze him once more, and Vorstag wasted no time using it to his advantage. He climbed on the creature’s back, slipping several times from the ice. Once he reached the head, he lifted his sword high over his head and came down into its skull. When the ice fell away, so did the dragon.

The crowd’s roar was deafening as they all cheered, patting each other on the backs as they didn’t die and lived through something that was believed to only be a legend. 

The mercenary jumped off the dragon and saw that Lucinia was fine and uninjured, a smile on her face. Anaka looked well too. Soon the ribbons of light wrapped their glowing fingers around Anaka as she absorbed the dragon’s soul. Vorstag thought nothing of it, seeing it before with the Greybeards, but this time she fell to the ground, passed out.

Lucinia must have seen the girl collapse too because she was at his side in seconds as they kneeled down to check on her.

“Ana, honey. Wake up, girl,” Lucinia said, giving her a pat on the cheeks, but she wasn’t waking up. The mage cast a spell on her, thinking Anaka was injured, but there were no injuries. “What’s going on? I can’t wake her.”

“She passed out when she absorbed the dragon soul,” he said.

Looking up, Vorstag saw all the soldiers surrounding the Dragonborn with concern in their eyes. “Back off. Give the girl some air, will you?”

“We aren’t far from your brother’s house. Let’s take her there and put her in bed.”

Vorstag agreed and lifted Anaka into his arms as they made their way home, but the girl woke up before they got there. “I’m fine, Mr. Vorstag. You can put me down now.”

“No, you passed out. Something happened, and you aren’t well.”

Anaka placed a gentle hand on his face to get his attention and to calm down. “I’m OK now. It was only for a moment. My body wasn’t used to absorbing a dragon soul. It’s violent inside, but my body is adapting. Truly, I am fine.”

With reluctance, the mercenary put the girl down. She stood on wobbly legs, but she got her bearings and recovered quickly. “That was so strange. I’m not sure I like that feeling. The soul has settled now.”

“Come on, sweetheart. Let’s get you some tea and rest back at the house,” Lucinia said.

“No, we need to let the Jarl know that we have defeated the dragon. I’m sure he is anxious for his people.”

“Are you sure you can do this?” the mage asked.

“Yes,” Anaka said and walked off as if it were any other day, and they didn’t just kill a dragon. She stopped and turned to Vorstag and Lucinia. “But, I wouldn’t mind some cookies when we finish.”

The mercenary laughed and promised he would buy her some.

Jarl Balgruuf stopped his pacing when he saw the Dragonborn enter his throne room. “So what happened at the watchtower? Was the dragon there?”

“I knew I could count on you and Irileth. I told you could do it, Dragonborn. You’ve done a great deed for me and my city. By my right as Jarl, I name you Thane of Whiterun. It’s the greatest honor that’s within my power to grant. We are honored to have you as Thane of our city, Dragonborn.”

The Jarl’s Steward handed Anaka another sack of gold, this one larger, and she gave it to Vorstag. “I wasn’t expecting a title. Thank you, and I am honored, my Jarl,” Anaka bowed, showing her mature side, no longer the frightened teen girl.

They filled the evening with talk of Dragons as Anaka told her version of events and how she used her power to help take down the creature. His brother looked at him with a combination of awe and worry, not just for Lucinia and Anaka, but for Vorstag. Anaka received the most attention from Halof, who didn’t just see her as a pretty girl any longer, but as a warrior. The mercenary was going to have to keep a close watch on his oldest nephew. He remembered when he was a teen and his attempts to flirt with girls, always wanting to touch their breasts. Vorstag did not wish to return the girl home to her parents pregnant. Perhaps he would ask Lucinia to talk to the girl about sex and watch out for lustful boys.

Vorstag was already in bed when Lucinia walked in wearing her shift for bed. He was grateful it was frumpy and loose, not wanting any more fuel for his confused mind. But the mage didn’t get into her bed. Instead, she sat next to him and handed him a small bundle wrapped in linen and tied with twine.

“What is it?” he asked, sitting up, trying to ignore her stares at his bare chest and arms. Scars littered his flesh, but most women didn’t seem to mind.

“A gift,” she said.

“Why? My birthday is months away.”

“For many reasons. You take care of Anaka and me, spend your hard-earned gold on us, protect us. This is a small thing in comparison.”

The mercenary had a hard time taking his eyes off her face, uncertain of what to do. He had an internal battle between kissing her and refusing the gift. People never gave him presents, even on his birthday. He was lucky to get a free drink. Since Vorstag didn’t rush to open it, she did it for him, holding out the amulet. 

“I didn’t buy the thing. I found it in Bleak Falls Barrow, and here I scolded you for taking things. Farengar enchanted it for me. It will protect you against magic spells since you have no magic of your own. Now you do.” 

Lucinia lifted it over his head, resting the amulet on his chest. Vorstag looked down, holding it. It was gold surrounding a pale green stone in the middle, almost the color of her eyes, but darker. He almost made a joke about it, a deflection to hide his nerves, but he decided maybe it wasn’t the best time. “I don’t know what to say.”

“Thank you would be a good start,” she said, smiling.

“Thank you.”

“It looks good on you. It almost matches your eyes.”

“No, it matches your eyes. My eyes aren’t green. They are more hazel.”

“Your eyes have wonderful flecks of green in them, with some yellows and browns. Your eyes are like a kaleidoscope.”

Lucinia wasn’t the one who was supposed to be romantic; he was. His mind and body were still in a torrential storm. Vorstag reached up and brushed curly hairs away, nearly cupping her face. She watched him, not pulling away, but he did and coughed from nerves. The mercenary wasn’t sure what was going on with his strange emotions, unable to make sense of them. He wanted to kiss her, but he didn’t want to treat her like the other women. It wasn’t lust for him. The disappointment was apparent in her eyes as if she wanted to kiss him. He knew if he did, she would have let him, but he couldn’t bring himself to do it.

“I will always wear it,” he said in reconciliation. “Good night.”

“Good night,” she said with sadness in her voice. 

He rolled over and felt her leave his bed. Closing his eyes, he wondered if he did the right thing or the wrong thing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next: Hunting bandits to clear heads and misunderstandings


	10. Distractions

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nothing like clearing out bandit camps to cleanse the mind free of Lucinia, or so Vorstag thought. He returns home after a couple of days and made a mess of things with Lucinia.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> CW: Masturbation, prostitution.
> 
> Thanks for reading! Please share your thoughts in the comments. <3

The weather lost its warm glow and vibrancy as it snowed. At least Vorstag took the time to enjoy it while it lasted. The morning was awkward between Lucinia and him, but it wasn't so bad that he wanted to bury himself under a rock. At least she was talking to him. It was a good thing he was leaving everyone for a couple of days. The mercenary needed some time alone. He had enough Septims to buy that little house, but he needed more for supplies, food, and he was sure the place wasn't furnished. The bandit jobs in Whiterun should pay well enough.

Anaka begged to come with him, and while he agreed she needed more hands-on training, he needed some time alone. There would be plenty of opportunities for the girl to hone her sword and bow skills. She and Lucinia promised to practice while he was gone.

Being alone allowed Vorstag to reflect on his life that went from predictable to being turned completely upside down. Seeing the way Lucinia looked at him made him confused. He needed a clear head and not having her pretty face to distract him. She was a bitch in the beginning, but then again, he could hardly blame her. He wasn't the most pleasant of people to be around. Then there was the spying on her. Perhaps most of the problems he had with her were of his own doing.

Vorstag didn't like complicated things, and his life was now complicated. It was one reason he didn't get involved with women. It was always on a superficial level, which was why he held back with Lucinia. They were all living under the same roof, and they had an important job to do with Anaka. If he attempted anything with her and it didn't work out, it would make things more complicated than they already were. It was best if he left it alone. Decision made, he pushed Snowball to a canter.

"Let's go hunt us some bandits, Snowball," he said to the horse, still speaking his name with distaste. "I'm sorry Anaka gave you such a horrible name. If I knew how bad it was, I wouldn't have let the girl name you."

The horse snorted as if in agreement.

"If I had my way, I would call you Thor or Ragnar… something manly for a stallion such as you."

The first bandit encampment was behind the city of Whiterun. There was a small cave, some witnesses reported, that had some strange activity. The thugs were stocking up and making a home in the area, resulting in a rise in robberies and assaults. The guards of Whiterun were spread thin between the dragon spotted in Helgen and a growing war between the Stormcloaks and Imperials. If Vorstag was still in the army, he didn't know what side he would have chosen. He wasn't political, nor was he religious. He didn't care either way as long as the gold was flowing, not that he thought war was a good idea. A lot of innocents died in wars. It also could make Anaka's mission more difficult.

The cave wasn't too far, and Vorstag could see it in the distance. Tying up Snowball to a tree, he unsheathed his great-sword and walked towards the bandits. There were three of them, and three he could handle. Swinging his sword in elegant arcs, the bandits came after him like angry hornets. 

"You're my payday, fools," he taunted.

Idiot bandit number one lunged at Vorstag, inexperienced in combat as most bandits were. Thugs were good at one thing—terrorizing the innocent and those who couldn't defend themselves. Pin them against someone like Vorstag, and they didn't stand a chance. 

Vorstag rolled out of the way as his sword came up cleanly, entering the bandit's gut and sliced. The surprised look on his face soon turned blank in death. The next bandit was ready for him, or so he thought. If any of them had any brains, one would hang back and fire arrows at the mercenary, but they didn't have brains. They clashed metal against metal, but Vorstag's great-sword was no match for the long sword. His blows beating down the man as he pleaded for his life. If the mercenary gave in to the pleas, bandits would just pack up and terrorize somewhere else. They never learned or tried to make lives better, taking advantage of people in hard times, as if their lives weren't bad enough.

A block and thrust, the second bandit was dead. Vorstag's experience with the sword terrified the last one, trying to back off, but still held up his weapon, ready. At least he wasn't stupid enough to not be afraid. The mercenary's smile only seemed to add to the man's terror. There was something about an immense, smiling Nord, covered in blood, headed your way that could make the bravest think twice.

With the last bandit dead, Vorstag poked around their stash to see if they had anything good to pilfer. There was a small bag full of alchemical ingredients that he threw in his pack for Lucinia. It was the least he could do after her gift to him. But just like that, he pushed Lucinia from his thoughts and opened a chest. It was filled mostly with junk, but there were a couple of gems inside and a sack of gold. 

Vorstag heard them as soon as he shut the lid of the chest—idiotic rallying cries from more bandits. Apparently, they were on their way back to the cave only to find a mercenary stealing from them and their friends dead. Anger and shock were on their faces that anyone dared steal from thieves, missing the irony.

"I'm sorry, was that yours?" Vorstag taunted. 

"You're going to pay for that!" yelled Moronic bandit number two.

"Get him!" shouted stupid bandit number three.

"Sometimes idiots just deserve what they get," the mercenary said, giving them his most sadistic grin.

Six in total, lay dead on the ground as Vorstag walked away towards Snowball. The next camp was an old mine directly south. 

Vorstag had Snowball tied to another tree in the distance as he crouched behind a large boulder, studying the scene in the snow. The camp before him was more organized. The bandits were situated there for a while with its wooden fence, each log honed to a point at the top. Both entryways into the camp had traps so they could hear intruders. There were three sentries at optimal locations allowing them to see far and wide any enemies headed their way. Two more bandits were inside the encampment working. Who knew how many were inside the mine itself. This job was going to prove more difficult, and Vorstag would have to reign in the cockiness. This group was not nearly as stupid as the last.

If the mercenary had underestimated the bandits, he would be dead. Sitting on a rickety bed in the mine, he pulled out one of his healing potions and downed it. It would be enough to stop the bleeding and ease the pain, but it wouldn't heal his wounds completely. At least he could make it back to Whiterun. There he would find a healer and head to the Bannered Mare for the night.

He could have returned to his brother's house before he hit the next bandit camp, but he still needed some time alone. The mercenary also needed to get laid and work off the pent up energy from all the death. Vorstag grunted in pain when he stood and searched for any valuables, then headed back to Whiterun.

At least Snowball was still there. He hated leaving his horse tied up, afraid others would steal him or animals would kill him. But the horse was there, chomping on grass as if he didn't have a care in the world.

Vorstag reached the outskirts of Whiterun and stabled his horse. The evening was approaching, and while the ground was covered in a thin layer of white, at least it stopped snowing. He limped up the hill and through the gate to the Temple of Kynareth to find a healer. He wasn't bleeding profusely, but he suffered several injuries, and he was still in a lot of pain. The one in his knee radiated through his entire body. Each step was like being stabbed over and over. A fallen bandit, injured but still living, was on the ground and stabbed Vorstag in the knee when he fell on his back. At least they were all fucking dead.

He had never been in a temple, avoiding them as much as he did religion. Inside was warm and inviting if you removed agonizing sounds from the injured, all there to receive healing treatment. A woman in robes, face hidden in her hood, walked up to him and cast her spell on his body, finding each wound. He didn't need to tell where his injuries were—she knew. 

"These are a lot of injuries," she said, her voice soft with a hint of a lilt.

"You should see the other guys. Bandits don't like me very much."

"Cleaning out our bandit menace is a worthy cause. Their numbers increase along with the war. There are always those who are opportunists to the unfortunate."

"I can't argue with that. How much do I owe you?" he asked when she finished healing him.

"If you wouldn't mind donating to the temple, that will be enough."

Vorstag stood and moved his knee around. _Good as new_. He dropped a hundred Septim to their coffers and headed to the Bannered Mare for a bath, food, drink, and a woman.

He felt almost normal as he soaked in the scalding water, sipping a mead. The mercenary didn't worry about dying earlier that day, but he knew the last camp would be tough. The bandit leader was a brute of an orc, and he ran a tight ship. It didn't matter. They were all dead. He just hoped they would pay him well for that particular camp. If he didn't, he would show the Steward the error of his ways. In the morning, he would collect his fee for the two cleared camps and get some gold for the items he pilfered.

By the time the wench ended up on his lap and three ales later, he felt perfect. Vorstag brought the woman to his room for an evening of fun. He made sure he wasn't drunk this time because he had no intention of passing out again. Clothes were strewn, and he groped her large breasts, one of his favorite parts of a woman. He would dream about breasts of all shapes and sizes. He didn't care as long as there was a breast in his hand and a nipple in his mouth.

The wench worked her way down between his legs as he laid back, ready for her warm mouth. But thoughts drifted to somewhere else. Somewhere beyond sex and pleasure—no, it was pleasurable, just a different sort. He closed his eyes, and every time he imagined the woman sucking him off, his thoughts drifted to Lucinia. It wasn't in a sexual way. He envisioned her bouncing around trying to catch butterflies for her alchemical potions, her laughter, beaming smile, pale eyes, combing his hair back with delicate fingers… 

No, Vorstag must have been distracted, or perhaps it was the rough day he had clearing out bandits, but he couldn't get it up. It wasn't for the woman's lack of trying because she was good, but nothing was happening. His cock refused to acknowledge the woman on top of him. He didn't want to admit it was thoughts of Lucinia that were keeping him flaccid.

"What's wrong, darlin'?" the wench said, trying to hide the humor in her voice.

_Right, because a man who can't get it up is something to laugh about._ "It's been a rough day."

He pushed the woman up and tossed her some gold for the time spent. 

"We can try something else?" At least she offered, but he didn't want to see her pity or humor, knowing he would not get it up.

"Forget it."

Vorstag nearly slammed the door in frustration but controlled himself. 

If he wanted to kiss Lucinia or had any interest in her, then why did it make him flaccid tonight? Did he want her? No, she was a distraction—a complication. He didn't like it complicated. If that was true, then why couldn't he keep those visions of her out of his head? They weren't sexual by nature, but he couldn't stop thinking about her. He didn't even like her that much, right?

Still naked, he tested himself. Lucinia went from a bouncing mage in a field of flowers to a woman squirming naked under him. Vorstag's brain soon flashed with images of her when he saw her bathing in the hot springs, the quick flash of her pert breasts before she dunked in the water to hide herself. Her skin looked smooth, with just a splash of light freckles on her olive skin. He replaced her scowl with her smiles and soon found himself hard in his hand. 

Despite his struggles earlier, the heat coiled and built around him, flowing its way between his legs. Heart thumping more from visions of her than from his touches. His mind grasped at her in desperation, touching, kissing, licking. Her olive skin smooth and soft—skin that never experienced hardship. Her long frizzy curls spread out on the pillow, her smile soft, eyes hooded in pleasure. When she reached for his face, he kissed her palm. Another hand moved down between his legs, grasping him, the pace rapid. His hand became hers as the fire spread through his body, shuddering him with imaginings of her touch. He reached his peak and crashed hard, panting, then the expected numbness. 

_Fuck_.

It was a quick and powerful release, one he needed, but not in the way he imagined or wanted. He was flaccid for the wench because he wanted Lucinia. _Dammit!_ Now it was complicated. No, it complicated nothing. So what if he wanted her or imagined her naked body next to his? It was just a fantasy, nothing more. Focusing on work and protecting Anaka will distract enough. He can do this—just focus on work and nothing else.

Vorstag pulled the blanket on top of his body and lifted the amulet Lucinia enchanted for him, to protect him. He wanted to believe she did it to keep him alive for selfish reasons, so he could protect her and Anaka, but he knew it was more. She looked at him differently since he nearly kissed her. Because of his actions, it forced her to think of him differently. But did it? He was clueless. Vorstag never delved deeply into the minds of women. He never got close enough to understand them. All he knew was she was different, and thoughts of being with her didn't just involve sex. He didn't want to think about it anymore and rolled over to sleep.

Vorstag made a lot of gold on clearing out those bandit camps. It netted him over a thousand Septims, and on top of selling the items he stole, he had fifteen hundred in his pack. There was enough saved now for the house and all the extras they would need. He could move out of his brother's house when he returned. More gold would also be set aside for this brother's family to cover the cost of caring for him, Lucinia, and Anaka.

The next bandit encampment was west and a few hours ride, judging by his map. There was an ancient tower and bridge that expanded across the White River. The group was forcing people to pay a toll to use the road that bypassed the building, or they would die—more bandits harassing innocent people. Vorstag's plan wasn't to rush into the melee as he did yesterday. He was going to play it smarter.

Parking his horse by the river to drink and eat, he pulled his cloak about him to hide his armor and lifted his hood over his head. He sauntered towards the tower, adding a limp to give the appearance that he was feeble and weak. The bandit guarding the road was a female, and Vorstag cursed under his breath. He hated killing women, but he tried to remind himself she was no better than the male bandits and was probably a killer herself. They wouldn't have put her in charge of collecting a toll unless she intended to kill the person if they refused. Sure enough, as he got closer, bloodstains littered the road.

"Halt! You must pay the toll to use our road," she demanded.

"I have little, please. I have to see my sick brother," he said in a shuddered and tremulous voice.

"You pay, you die, or you turn around. Your choice. Hand over two hundred Septim."

Vorstag bristled at the amount she was demanding. People were struggling enough without being forced to give up an amount that was a life savings for most just to travel on the road free to everyone.

"I am not sure I have that much. Let me look." 

Vorstag slipped open his cloak, pretending to dig for his coin purse. Instead, he pulled out a dagger and, with cat-like reflexes, thrust it into the woman's throat before she knew what hit her. He pulled her body off to the side and made his way up the steps and into death—their death.

The bandits weren't nearly as smart as the last group. The only reason they survived as long as they did was because of how fortified they were. The passage up and over the bridge was narrow. Vorstag killed most of them from a distance with his bow. When he cleaned the place out of bandits, he pocketed any valuables and made his way back to Whiterun for his reward. 

All in all, it was a pleasant couple of days with a lot of gold. Whiterun was free of bandit terror for now, at least until new camps established themselves, as they always did. For the first time, he looked forward to returning home.

They expected Vorstag to return that evening, and Anaka must have been watching out for him and Snowball. As soon as he left the stable, the girl came barreling towards him, her long legs adding extra speed until it appeared she was going to crash right into him. Instead, she stopped and jumped, grabbing his neck, welcoming him back.

It was hard to resist the girl's bright smile and warm greeting—it was contagious. The mercenary couldn't help but smile and hug her back. He put her down, and Anaka grabbed his hand, pulling him to the house. 

"You're covered in blood. Are you hurt? Lucy will fix you right up," she said.

The man didn't know why it disappointed him to not see Lucinia at the threshold greeting him, then felt like an idiot for even expecting it. Why would she? 

"Everyone's been so worried about you, especially Lucy." 

That took him aback. Then he scoffed. "I doubt that very much."

"Oh, she didn't say in so many words, but she did a lot of pacing."

Vorstag felt a small smile rise on his lips at the idea that the mage worried for him. He didn't want her to stress, but it did something to his ego to know she cared, even a little. Inside, Lucinia was nowhere to be seen. His brother and Gretga were by the fire, their children at their feet as they were every evening after dinner. Yet the mage wasn't there. He wasn't about to embarrass himself by asking where she went.

"Vorstag! It's good you have come back unharmed. I have saved you some supper," Gretga said.

"Thank you. I will get cleaned up then eat."

The mercenary did everything in his power to not look for her. It was clear Anaka was wrong. If Lucinia was pacing while he was gone, it surely wasn't for him. Perhaps it was for the best. If she wasn't interested as he thought she was, then there was no worry about making things complicated. It appeared as if his problem resolved itself. While he told himself it was for the best, it did nothing to contain his disappointment.

When he headed upstairs to get fresh clothes before his bath, he saw her tucked in the corner of the small library. Lucinia made a space for herself to make potions. She was busy grinding something in a bowl with her back to him. Vorstag wanted to watch her as she diligently crushed some dried herb into powder. She braided her hair to keep the curls and frizz out of her face, but tendrils escaped as if on purpose to annoy her as she brushed them away in annoyance.

Vorstag knocked lightly on the door to not startle her. She greeted him with a warm smile that nearly stopped his heart. "I just wanted to let you know I am back."

"I can see that. I'm glad to see you are… safe."

"Right, well, one camp was difficult and required healing, but I'm fine."

She nodded, her hands fidgeted in her apron, protecting her dress, standing there looking anywhere else but his face. Then she turned back to her work. The mercenary didn't know what that meant. He wondered why she avoided him and what he did wrong. Trying to brush it off, he left to bathe and eat some dinner.

Lucinia made her way downstairs, and they all sat together by the fire. Anaka, sleepy, climbed onto his lap. She made a habit out of it and did so now each evening. It annoyed Vorstag at first, but the fact was, she was a sweet girl, probably missing her parents. So he allowed it. 

"I have a bit of news," he said. Once he had everyone's attention, he reached in his pocket and pulled out two keys, showing them to Anaka. 

"They are keys. What are they for?" she asked.

"They go to our new house."

The entire family perked up at the news, even Lucinia, who was still avoiding him like the plague. 

"A house?" Jolf asked. "You didn't need to buy a house. You, Lucinia, and Anaka are more than welcome here."

"Thank you, brother, but we have intruded long enough. It gets expensive, taking care of others."

"You have been contributing, Vorstag," Gretga said. "Lucinia has been helping with cooking and gardening. Anaka helps clean and watches over little Wilhelm. You are not a burden to us."

"I appreciate that, but I feel better if I do this. I feel like I'm overstaying my welcome despite what you are telling me. It's not fair to your family." Vorstag held up his hand, knowing the protests were coming. "I need to do this, OK? I don't feel right staying here for so long. Besides, it's done. I bought the house, and it is being furnished as we speak. We aren't far. The house within the city itself, so we can visit."

"You are so nice to us, Master Vorstag," Anaka said, sleep in her voice, snuggling in tighter on his lap.

He smiled down at the girl falling asleep and then looked up at Lucinia, who had been quiet the entire time. His smile turned to a frown when he saw the tears in her eyes. She didn't look happy at all. What did he do wrong now? She knew he had plans to get a house, so why was the mage so upset about it? First, her cold welcome, and now she was crying, unhappy. He can't seem to do anything right.

"I take it you don't like this idea." Vorstag got angry, the heat building in his face. He worked hard for the gold to give her and Anaka a place to stay while he earned enough to keep them fed and clothed. He trained them and promised to protect Anaka as she fulfilled her duty. What else did the woman fucking want from him? 

Vorstag blew before she could answer. "What? Is this not good enough for her royal highness?"

“Vorstag!” Gretga yelled.

"I worked my ass off to take care of you and Anaka at great expense to myself! Why am I even doing this? You and Anaka guilted me into protecting you, and for what? For your tears? All you have done since I got back was ignore me while I risked my life! You know what? Forget it!" 

It stunned the entire family into silence. Lucinia was now weeping. Vorstag lifted Anaka off of him and stormed outside for some air. He had to breathe before he got any angrier. 

The cold hit him like a wall. He didn't have a cloak on, but his Nord blood helped keep him from freezing too much. Vorstag took deep breaths, each exhale came out of his mouth in smoke-like plumes. His hands fisted at his sides in his anger. All that work, and for what? The woman hates him for some reason, upset enough to cry over. He didn't know what he did wrong. Granted, he almost kissed her, but it wasn't as if they were together. She gave him an amulet, and he thanked her for it. Those were the only things he could think of that may have upset her, but he still didn't understand why she would feel that way. 

Vorstag could hear the door slam, and someone was rushing up behind him. He turned around to yell at whoever it was to leave him alone, only to be greeted by a hard slap to the face. Lucinia, in her fury, made her appear taller than she was and stood there ready to slap him again, but she refrained. The tears spilled, and she looked as if she was doing everything she could to keep from physically lashing out at him.

"How dare you!" she yelled.

"How dare I? You're—"

"No, you do not get to speak again! You said quite enough! It isn't enough that you tease me at every turn, spied on me when I was bathing, made it your life's mission to tell us how fucking miserable you are taking care of us in all your broodiness! Oh no, now you accuse me of not appreciating your efforts, risking your lives for us, training us. Is that what you think? Do you really believe that?"

If Lucinia was cursing, one knew she was furious. 

"I… I… Well, you were—"

"What? Crying? Do you know so little of women that you can't tell the difference between a weep from misery, anger, or happiness? These tears right here? They are from anger. I'm angry because you would think so lowly of me to not appreciate what you have done for Anaka and me."

"I—"

"Shut… up! If this is how you are to be, then… no, I don't want to live with you. Those first tears you saw that made you so insane were tears of joy. All that you have done for us… feeding us, training us, protecting us, and what have I done? Nothing. I gave you a stupid amulet because I have nothing else to give!"

Lucinia's shaking hands went to her face as she sobbed, unable to say anything more. Vorstag felt like shit. No, he felt like a complete asshole. He accused her of not caring about all his efforts when, in reality, that wasn't the real reason he was angry. His frustration stemmed from his interest in her, which was growing, not knowing what to do about it. He didn't want to do anything about it, yet he couldn't help but feel a pang of frustration that she showed no interest in his return. He felt hurt by the whole thing. Why was he hurt? Why did he care? It wasn't as if he expressed himself to her. She did not understand his feelings, and how could she?

Vorstag reached for her to hold her. He felt horrible, and she was right. Now he made her cry in his accusations and cruelty. Lucinia shoved his hands away and stormed off back to the house, leaving him standing there, wondering how to fix everything. A thunderstorm crashed in his mind and heart. His heart hammered in his chest, stomach fluttering in pain, wondering if he ruined everything. He should feel grateful, at least there would be no complication regarding a relationship, but the very idea left him upset. It didn't matter what he wanted or not. His actions decided for him. Lucinia hated him.

Regardless of her feelings for him, he was going to have to fix it. He couldn't have her hating him as they traveled together. Vorstag found it ironic that the entire problem stemmed from him not wanting things complicated, but that was precisely how it turned out.

When he went inside, it appeared everyone went to bed. At least he didn't have to face their anger right then. It could wait until the morning, knowing he was going to get an earful from his brother and sister-in-law, probably from Anaka too. _Fix things with Lucinia first_.

The mercenary thought she went to bed, but she was at her little table banging away in anger with her mortar and pestle. 

"Lucinia—"

"Leave me alone if you want to live."

Since he was confident she couldn't kill him, he grabbed her by the shoulders and forced her to turn around. He closed his eyes and felt his stomach turn at her tears. Women's tears always did him in, especially if he was the cause of them. He had no one to blame but himself for his discomfort. The hurt and anger in her eyes nearly broke him. Perhaps she could kill him after all, just not with any conventional weapon. "I'm so sorry I hurt you. I'm such an asshole."

"Well, praise fucking Mara for figuring it out!"

"I deserved that."

She didn't turn away from him. She was still angry, but no longer crying— _small victories_. He brushed away her remaining tears with a rough thumb. "I'm sorry I made you cry. I'm sorry I got angry with you. I wasn't justified in my anger." _I am attracted to you, want you, but I can't do it and don't know how to deal with my conflicting emotions_. If he couldn't be honest with himself, how could he be honest with her?

"Do you really think so poorly of me, mercenary?"

"I don't, mage. Not at all."

"Then, why? Why did you accuse me of such things?"

"It's about my stupidity and ego. I didn’t mean to take it out on you. I'm not trying to make excuses; just tell you the why of things. I misunderstood your tears, but it was more than that—"

"What was?"

Vorstag pulled her close and pressed his cheek to the top of her head, wrapping an arm around her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next: A new home, dragons, puppy love, and missions


	11. Making the Most of It

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Vorstag has some explaining to do along with a lot of apologizing. It was getting harder to deny the growing connection he was having towards Lucinia. Then the dragon happens.

As he was hugging Lucinia, Vorstag felt a stinging smack on his back. He turned around to find Anaka looking up at him, angry, hands balled into fists. Her eyes may have been angry, but there was an underlying hurt, as if she was betrayed. Perhaps she did. Anaka looked up to him, respected him, but his treatment of the mage was appalling. He understood that and deserved her anger. 

“You’re supposed to be in bed,” Lucinia said.

“How can I! You… you were so mean, Master Vorstag!”

“I know I was. I’m in the middle of apologizing to our friend. I was wrong.”

“But why?” the girl said, lip quivering.

Vorstag walked them to his room, sat on his bed, and pushed back to lean against the wall, stretching out his legs. He beckoned the two women to sit with him. Lucinia climbed in, sitting next to him, and while Anaka was angry, she snuggled up on the other side. 

“Anaka, you don’t know the way of things. I explained to Lucinia about it—about my sister a while ago. You were sleeping on our travels that day.” 

“You had a sister?”

“Aye. She was sweet and beautiful and full of light, just like you, but she was broken. Ulla was born damaged, but to me she was perfect. I wasn’t much older than you when I was left alone to take care of her. My father died as a soldier, my mother long gone, giving birth to Ulla. Jolf left us to find work so we had food and to pay for things. He left for two years. Gone with no word, no letter, no gold. I thought he abandoned us. I was furious with him for a long time. The courier who was to bring us the gold Jolf sent back with word of his whereabouts stole from us. He took all we had—”

“He was a wicked man! Why would he do that?” Anaka asked, so innocent, so naïve to the ways of the world.

“Not everyone is as good and light as you and Lucinia. At least authorities caught and punished him,” Vorstag explained, as Lucinia grab his hand. He looked down as she wrapped fingers around his, giving him a reassuring squeeze. He wanted to let go, push her hand away. Instead, he gave her fingers a light squeeze in return. 

“I couldn’t work. My Ulla couldn’t care for herself, so I had to stay and help us survive. I left for short periods to hunt and grow some crops. We were fine for a while. I kept us fed, but that was the extent of it. It wasn’t enough. Ulla grew sick one day from some virus or infection. There was no gold, nothing to sell. Anything I could have sold was long gone. I have no healing magic and had no brother to help. I couldn’t afford a healer or buy a potion, so she died. Even in her last days, she smiled and was light. Something in me died the day she left this world. She left me alone in my anger and pain.”

“I’m sorry, Mr. Vorstag. I have brothers and sisters. They are a pain sometimes, but I can’t imagine if they died. It would crush me,” Anaka said, snuggling in tighter to him as if she could comfort him by her very presence. Perhaps she could.

“And in your anger, you blamed your brother. You didn’t know the courier stole the gold,” Lucinia said.

“Yes, I blamed him. The anger remained for a long time, even after he explained it all to me when he finally returned. He was heart-broken too with Ulla’s death, but I didn’t care. Jolf left us behind. I slowly forgave my brother, especially after the courier was caught and thrown in jail. As my pain lifted, I fell in love. Well, so I thought. I was so young and stupid. It was unrequited, but that was my doing since I never told her. I was getting there, building up my bravery. But it was too late. Once again, my brother left me in anger and disappointment, snatching her away from me—”

“Gretga?”

“Aye, Gretga. I’m over it now, but at the time all my anger at my brother renewed, filled with jealousy. I shouldn’t have blamed him. It was my fault for not doing anything about it and who wouldn’t want Gretga as beautiful as she was. My rage was too much to bear, so I left. I was only sixteen, but needed to make a life of my own. I vowed never to be poor again and learned the hard lesson that love was pain. I loved my sister, and she died. I loved my brother, but I felt betrayed. I loved Gretga, but she didn’t notice. All these were my doing, and soon I blamed myself for not doing more for Ulla. 

Jolf begged me to stay, but I wouldn’t listen. I told him where I was going, but that was it. I never talked to him again until now. He sent me letters telling me of his life with Gretga. Then came the children, wealth from farming. I never responded to one of his letters.”

“Ulla wasn’t your fault, Mr. Vorstag.”

“I could have done more.” It was painful rehashing old memories. It was like his sister’s death happened all over again. He never realized how much light and life she brought him until hers was snuffed out like a candle to the wind. 

“It seems you did all you could,” Lucinia said.

“It doesn’t matter now. She’s gone. I thought to tell you my story because I am not right in the head. I lived a life alone for nearly eighteen years. I’ve been a sodding asshole ever since. I’m not used to little girls and mage women in my life or emotions of the female kind. You’re not wrong, Lucinia. I have not learned the ways of women’s feelings. Those are things I spent years avoiding. I’m doing the best I can and I have grown to like you both, but I’ve made a mess of things. So, I’m a fool and I hurt you both. I’m sorry about that. I told no one the lot of my story, just bits, and pieces here and there. You both are the first.”

Lucinia gave Vorstag a peck on the cheek and another hand squeeze, “I forgive you.”

“We understand, Mr. Vorstag. Thank you for all you have managed for us,” Anaka said with a big yawn.

“Alright, off to bed with you,” Vorstag ordered. “I suppose I’m tired too. It’s late, and it has been a long day.”

The girl gave him a tight hug goodnight. “You will love again. I’ve seen it,” she predicted and left for bed.

Reluctantly, he let Lucinia’s hand go as she left to change into her nightclothes and go to bed. He stripped down to his smalls and crawled under the covers. His emotions were more raw retelling his story, but it needed to be told. Tomorrow he would face his brother and Gretga, no doubt ready to scold him too. He would face it because he deserved it.

“This time tomorrow, we will have our own rooms,” he said when Lucinia walked back into the room.

“Is the house that big?”

“It’s not huge, but it has three rooms. It is enough and more than I ever had.”

“Thank you for all you have done for me and Anaka, mercenary.”

“You’re welcome, mage. I’m sorry for being such an asshole,” he said again.

Lucinia smiled, rolling over to sleep as Vorstag watched her back, listening to her breathing slow as she dozed off. They fixed everything between them, but he was more confused than ever regarding his growing fondness of the mage.

Anaka and Lucinia insisted Vorstag have the biggest room since he bought the place. He wasn’t used to having so much space but relented to their persistence. There was no arguing with the women when he was ganged up on. 

The cellar had a bath, but there was enough space to convert the rest into a sparring room and weapons display. Vorstag set up the cellar while Lucinia organized the kitchen to her liking. His brother and Gretga stocked them with food from their garden, so the mage had plenty to make their meals. 

The house was pleasant enough with a few decorations, but it was mostly furniture. What did he know about decorating, anyway? Vorstag didn’t care as long as they had shelter and the women were safe behind city walls if he had to go to work jobs. The mercenary liked Whiterun well enough. It wasn’t a big city like Solitude or Markarth, but it had all they needed and the Jarl seemed to have plenty of work despite another mercenary in town and the entire Companions. Even better, there were plenty of children to play with for Anaka.

The girl pinned over Halof as Vorstag and Lucinia got ready to move. Anaka ran off with the boy behind the house where the mercenary caught the two of them kissing. He hauled his nephew back into the house and told him to keep his hands and mouth to himself while Anaka yelled at his interference. He didn’t care if she was mad at him because Anaka and Halof were too young. 

Once the girl got over her anger, she bubbled over with giggles and blushes, rambling about her first kiss and oh, how wonderful it was, much to Vorstag’s discomfort. And as teenage girls are prone to do, her mood turned sour once more. Anaka was at the dinner table picking at her meal in silence, not eating. 

“Alright, out with it. What’s wrong now? Your emotions have been all over the place today. Is it Halof again?” Vorstag asked, not sure he wanted to know or listen to all her blubbering about kisses. “You will see him again soon enough.”

“Is it your monthlies, dear?” Lucinia asked. “I have some potions for that.”

“Shor’s tits! Not at the dinner table!” Vorstag would have lost his appetite if the meal wasn’t so delicious. 

“It’s not that,” she said, ignoring Vorstag’s outburst.

“Then what is it, sweetheart?” Lucinia stroked the girl’s back as if to coax her out of her mood with a touch.

“My birthday is three days away and… it is the first time I won’t be able to celebrate with my family. I miss them so much, even my stupid brothers. We’ve been writing to each other, but it’s not the same.”

“I understand. I miss the College and my friends who are family to me too. It probably isn’t the same as siblings and parents, but I miss them. Savos has always been like a father to me.”

Lucinia’s words didn’t seem to have much of an impact on the girl’s mood. After Anaka’s birthday, Vorstag already planned to take them on the mission for the Greybeards. He had looked on the map earlier that day and planned their route. It would be nothing to head northeast outside of Dawnstar and take Anaka to visit her family.

“Would you like a brief visit to see your family?” Vorstag asked, already knowing the answer.

There it was—the light. Anaka sat up and her face was full of smiles and brightness. “Do you mean it?”

“I wouldn’t suggest it if I didn’t. Where are you going?” he asked as she rushed off, not finishing her dinner.

“I have to write to them and tell them I’m coming!” Anaka rushed back over as an afterthought to give him a hug and peck on the cheek, then ran off to write her letter.

“That was sweet of you,” Lucinia said.

Vorstag shrugged, staring down at his dinner to avoid her doe eyes. “It’s not that out of the way.”

“I don’t know why you keep calling yourself an asshole. Yes, I thought so at first, but you have proven time and again, you are not.”

“I don’t know. I sometimes feel like I’m able to make up for lost time with my sister through you and Anaka,” he explained. He looked up at the mage, the sense of stupidity and embarrassment of his words spread through him. Vorstag didn’t know why he just said that, blurted it out really. It was more of a self-awareness thing that meant to be kept safe inside, not shared. “I… that was private.”

Lucinia reached for his hand on the table, covering it with her own. He forced himself to look at her, expecting to see humor on her face. What he didn’t expect was to see her understanding. “See, kindness. It was always there. You just chose to lock it up for a while. Your reasons for helping us are valid, mercenary. You need not feel shame in that.”

Vorstag’s hand felt naked, empty when she pulled away, nearly reaching out for it. But his eyes never left her as she went back to eating, not noticing his stares. The olive skin was so smooth and young. He never asked how old she was, afraid to, but Vorstag was sure she was younger than he was—mid-twenties, perhaps. What did it matter? It didn’t as he looked away, not wanting to think more about her.

Vorstag invited his brother, sister-in-law, and their children to the house for a party. It wasn’t just for Anaka’s birthday, but to fill the new house with family and light. It was a tradition to rid homes of old ghosts and bring in happiness. 

Lucinia spent the morning baking treats for the party, while Vorstag decorated the house with flowers and colorful banners. When Anaka came home from playing with friends, she would be surprised.

“Oh, it’s so beautiful,” she exclaimed when she came in later in the afternoon. “This is going to be a wonderful party! Maybe Halof will give me another kiss as a present!”

“No kissing!” Vorstag said.

“You can’t deny a gift, Master Vorstag.” Anaka giggled at his discomfort when he didn’t know how to rebuke that. “You cannot stop genuine love!”

“Love?” he scoffed. “That is not love. You two are just kids.”

“It’s not love yet, but it will be.”

“Is that what you see then? You and Halof in love? I don’t want to even think about it. Boys are trouble and I would know.”

“It is what I see,” she laughed.

“Not if I can help it,” he muttered.

Later, Vorstag went to his room, grabbing Anaka’s gift he hid away when he heard his family arrive. The laughing and noise of the children were a dead giveaway. He rushed to go downstairs when he bumped into Lucinia.

“Oh, I was just coming to get you,” she said.

Something came over him in that moment. Perhaps it was her hair in long spirals, or maybe it was her dress. It was definitely her warm smile and humor in her pale green eyes. The mercenary couldn’t take his eyes off of her, so much so she blushed beautifully and looked away. She must have seen the heat in his eyes. When he met her eyes again, he bent down as she reached—

“Master Vorstag! Lucy! Look at what I got!” Anaka yelled and ruined the moment, snapping him out of his trance. He almost kissed her and was, in part, grateful for the interruption. He wasn’t sure what would happen if he was successful. There would be feelings of awkwardness and not knowing what to do, at least on his part. He wasn’t stupid enough to assume what Lucinia thought.

“What did you get?” he asked.

Anaka lifted the little brown pup, which was tiny in her hands. Its ears were floppy, and its brown eyes were big and sweet.

“I don’t remember my brother asking me if it was okay to have a dog.”

“Please! Please, please, please…” Anaka begged, her doe eyes large and blue.

“Fine, but you have to take care of it and train it. He is to be your protector.”

“Thank you! I’m going to name him Bear!”

“But it’s a dog?”

“Bear is cute!”

“Fine, Bear it is,” he replied defensively. At least it wasn’t Snowball or Bubbles.

The party was a hit, and Anaka received several wonderful gifts. Vorstag gave her a new hand-carved bow with her name etched on it and a quiver full of arrows. Anaka got the girl a leather-bound journal so she could tell her story, along with a new dress and a doll. Her favorite gift was from the boy—no surprise there. He made her a necklace with stone beads and crystals, which she swore she would never take off. The girl forgot about her sadness and missing her family, but she would see them soon.

It was late and Anaka fell asleep in front of the fire. Vorstag carried her up to bed and stifled a yawn himself. He was tired too. The house was quiet now, and his thoughts turned to Lucinia. Her door was shut, and he almost knocked on it, unable to forget their moment before Anaka interrupted them. He shook his head to himself, heading to bed instead. There was no point in disturbing her rest over his own confused feelings.

[ ](https://i.imgur.com/159vYzJ.jpg)

Bear was too little to bring with them on their trip to Morthal, so Vorstag dropped the pup off with Jolf, who promised to look over Vorstag’s house periodically while they were gone. The morning was full of teenage drama and angst as Halof and Anaka said their weepy goodbyes, much to Vorstag’s dismay, as if she was leaving forever instead of over a week.

“I’ll miss you, my Anaka,” the boy yelled out as they rode away.

“I’ll miss you too, my Halof!”

“Shor’s tits…” Vorstag mumbled which rewarded him a smack on his arm from Lucinia.

“I’m going to marry you one day!” Halof yelled again.

“Bye, Halof!”

“Isn’t he wonderful?” the girl asked, voice wistful, blushing, and full of smiles.

Vorstag smacked his face and rubbed his scruff in annoyance. “It’s so sweet I’m going to be sick... Ow, stop hitting me.”

The road to Morthal would take two days on horseback, where they would stay the night at the inn. It shouldn’t take longer than a few hours from there to travel to Ustengrav, where the Horn of Jurgen Windcaller was located. Anaka and Lucinia had more training and were better prepared for ancient Nordic ruins, so Vorstag hoped it would go smoother than the last time. And he hoped not to die this time. 

Arngeir of the Greybeards said it was a test for Anaka, so she would need to use her shouts to get through some of it. Once they retrieved the horn, they had to return to High Hrothgar where the girl was to receive additional training as a Dragonborn.

“The quickest way to get through the mountains is to use Cold Rock Pass. It will take us inside the mountain and spit us out on the other side. From there it is a couple of hours ride to Morthal,” Vorstag said. “After all this, we should be at your family’s farm four days from now.”

“I can’t wait to see them! I miss them so very much. My little sister, Berdi, must be four now. I can’t wait to hold her.”

“How old are your brothers?” he asked.

“My oldest brother, Erald, is nineteen and Alan is sixteen.”

They rode the next two hours in silence as Anaka fell asleep as she was prone to do. Vorstag enjoyed the silence while he could.

By nightfall, the mercenary made quick work of the camp. All three of them shared one tent for warmth as they expected a storm to hit later that evening. The moisture in the air was growing along with the wind and thick clouds. 

Lucinia rolled over to face Vorstag lying in the tent. “What can we expect in the pass through the mountain tomorrow? Caves seem rather dangerous.”

“Aye, they can be. Sometimes they are clear and others, trolls or bears, were found. This is a pass that many use, so I doubt there will be any danger lurking. It’s always wise to be prepared regardless,” he whispered so Anaka didn’t wake up.

“Good,” she said and snuggled into him. The mercenary’s first instinct was to wrap his arms around her but kept his hands to himself. _She’s just getting in on the warmth is all. It means nothing_. But he had to brush away her frizz that worked itself up his nose and ended up resting his hand on her head to keep it at bay.

But holding her was exactly what he did in his sleep. Vorstag stirred awake with Lucinia curled up in his arms. It wasn’t intentional, but he didn’t hate it either. The mage wasn’t a large woman, and his thick arms nearly engulfed her. He needed to get up and start the fire again so they could break their fast, but he didn’t want to move away from her. He looked over and could see Anaka was awake staring at him, a broad smile plastered on her face and humor in her blue eyes. 

“Not a word,” he whispered and pushed Lucinia away with gentle hands to not wake her. Ignoring the girl’s giggles, he climbed out of the tent to find fresh snow on the ground. The storm already passed, and the day was cold but bright.

Vorstag sat by the fire, preparing a small meal of bread, dried beef, and some fruit when Lucinia climbed out of the tent, stretching, yawning, then her body nearly folding in on itself with a shiver. “My, it’s cold!” she yelled. She pulled her cloak tight about her, she sat right up against Vorstag, snuggling back into him. “Mara’s mercy, you Nords are so warm.”

Here he was, spending days and days trying to get Lucinia out of his mind, at least not think of her beyond a friend, but she wasn’t helping by forcing her body on him. She wrapped herself about him like a damned cat. He still didn’t hate it, but it was distracting—

He remembered that sound from last time and his pleasant stomach flutters with Lucinia soon turned into tight knots, the familiar heart hammering that happened with increased adrenaline. The beating of the dragon’s wings was first, then came the roar seeing the three humans camping below. Pulling out his great-sword he watched Lucinia conjure a bow and Anaka ran to Bubbles the horse where she kept the bow Vorstag gave to her.

The three dove to the ground as the dragon flew by low and directly over their heads. “Anaka, use your ice shout thing when it passes by!”

The girl nodded, eye to the sky. It was just as ugly as the last dragon, brown, covered in horns and boney spikes as it rained down fire upon them. Anaka and Lucinia could protect themselves with wards as Vorstag rolled out of the way. When it flew overhead again, the girl shouted but missed. The creature was too fast. They were going to have to pelt it with arrows to weaken it.

As the women fired their bows, Vorstag pulled out his and joined in the ranged attack. The dragon landed on the ground with a thunderous roar and quaking of the ground from its massive weight. It knew Anaka for what she was as it headed straight for her. 

“Shout, Anaka!”

The ice form Shout froze the creature momentarily and Vorstag did the same as last time, drawing his sword and running right at it. It was strong, trying to break the surrounding ice, but Anaka shouted again. The mercenary climbed on it’s back, and just as last time, thrust his sword into the creature’s skull, killing it.

He jumped off the dragon and rushed towards the girl, remembering her passing out last time. This time, Anaka held it together, but she vomited in the snow. “They are vile creatures, even their souls are horrible. It is difficult absorbing them.” With her hands on her knees, she waited until the sensation passed. 

When she stood straight, her eyes were haunting, dilated, and dark. “We need to go that way,” she said, pointing towards the mountain top.

“I thought we agreed to go through the pass,” he said.

“No, I need to go there. The dragon came down from the peak to hunt and found us. He lived on the top where a Word Wall is located. I need to go there.”

“Are you OK, sweetheart,” asked Lucinia.

The girl nodded, but uncertainty was in her eyes. “Their souls are dark. I don’t know if all dragons are dark, but the last two were. It’s why I get sick.”

Vorstag didn’t like the sound of that. Absorbing darkness into someone filled with light couldn’t be a good thing, despite killing the dragons. If she didn’t do it, there was no one else. Sure dragons could be killed, but according to the Greybeards, the dragons could return. They need the Dragonborn to take the souls so they can’t come back.

“There must be another way,” he said.

“There is no other way. It is my destiny. I could choose not to kill the dragons and absorb their foul souls, but then the world will burn and kill everyone. It’s not much of a choice really, but it’s one I have to do.”

Once they packed up camp and put the fire out, Anaka threw her bow on her back with her quiver, jumped on Bubbles, and took off. 

“Anaka!” Lucinia called out.

Vorstag jumped on Snowball and quickly pulled Lucinia up with him, chasing after her, but he already knew where she was going. There were some ruins atop the mountain peak. If they lost her, they would find her there. 

Both of their sighs were audible when they found Anaka standing in front of a Word Wall, similar to the one they found in Bleak Falls Barrow. Her hand pressed to the wall, fingers rubbing the Dragon dialect etched into the stone. 

Vorstag jumped off Snowball and rushed at the girl, forcing her to turn around. “You do not get to take off like that… shit. It’s OK. It’s OK,” he said, pulling the girl into him who was weeping. “What’s wrong? What happened?”

“I don’t like this. I don’t want these weird words swirling in my head. I don’t want these angry souls that make my body feel like it’s turning inside out. It hurts. It makes me sick.”

The mercenary didn’t know what to say to her. He had no words of wisdom, for he was as clueless as she was. All he could do was hold her and let her cry. Lucinia then joined in on the hugging. After a few moments, Anaka pushed away from them and wiped her tears away. 

“I learned another word for my disarm shout. Let’s go,” she said and walked towards Bubbles. The girl may have felt better, but the pain was still in her voice. She sounded dejected, resigned to her duty whether or not she wanted to.

They were so high in the mountain, they could see Morthal in the distance. Together, they rode down the mountain in pensive silence. For the first time, Vorstag wished he could take the girl’s duty unto himself to spare her the pain she was feeling. He worried not only for her life but her inner light.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! Let me know what you think down in the comments <3


	12. Duty and Family

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The trio head to Ustengrav to retrieve the horn for the Greybeards. Anaka was struggling as it was with the last dragon then someone steals the horn after all that work, so they head to Dawnstar to see Anaka's family, give her some needed happiness. Back at home, it wasn't enough that Lucinia torments him through teases, as she torments his mind, but she corners him, trying to get his attention.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A little fluff time. I think Lucinia is tired of waiting for Vorstag to make a move. The woman reads him like a book.

Vorstag, Lucinia, and Anaka were well-hidden behind a pile of boulders looking out over the marshy and snowy landscape. Ahead was Ustengrav, according to the mercenary’s map, the ruins that held the Horn of Jurgen Windcaller. Several bandits were camping around the burial mound that led down to the ruins. He wasn’t sure why they would be there, but regardless, they had to deal with them.

“Great, just like last time, we have bandits to deal with. Do they congregate and desecrate every Nordic ruin?” he complained.

“What if I disarm them? My shout should now be able to reach them and disarm all of them at once. Maybe you could reason with them when they have no other choice,” Anaka suggested.

“Bandits are too stupid to reason with,” he said.

“I will disarm them. You can try, at least. Surely they want to live enough to talk.”

“Fine, we will try it your way.”

Anaka uttered her ancient words from a distance as Vorstag sauntered towards them, his sword drawn with Lucinia close behind. She had conjured a flame atronach to assist should the bandits be stupid enough to attack. They stood there in dumb shock if there was such a thing when they looked down at their hands to find they were weaponless. It was as if their weapons vanished. If they had any brains at all, they would rush to recover their weapons that were now scattered on the ground. 

“Stop!” the mercenary yelled out. “Leave this place, and you get to live.”

A bandit got wise to what was happening and rushed to grab a sword. 

“Don’t be an idiot. I can easily kill you, and my mage friend here can do the same. Plus, you are surrounded. How do you think we disarmed you?”

All the bandits looked around the landscape, panic in their eyes. “Do you want to live or die? It’s your choice. I mean, I don’t care either way. I always enjoy a good fight to the death.”

“Good, so you do have brains,” he said when they raised their hands in defense and ran off.

Anaka came out of hiding, and all three walked down the stone steps to the ancient iron door that would lead them to new and unknown dangers. 

“I can’t believe that worked,” he said. “Excellent work, Anaka, though you took the fun out of it.”

“It wasn’t fun looking at their faces?” she asked.

“You got me there.”

“Fucking mages,” Vorstag hissed when they reached the main chamber inside. “No offense.”

“None taken,” Lucinia said, crouching next to him.

The two mages were necromancers by the look of it, forcing bandits to dig into the stone. For what, he had no clue. “Bows,” he whispered. “Take them out at a distance. Despite your amulet’s protection, I would rather not be set on fire. Been there, done that.”

With the mages dead, the bandits turned to dust. “What in the…”

“The bandits must have been dead already. The necromancers brought them back to work for them,” Lucinia explained.

“Lovely, because ancient ruins aren’t dangerous enough.”

Following the path that led them deeper into the ruins, some sort of battle echoed further in. Slowing their pace to the sounds, Vorstag peeked around the corner, telling the women to stay back with a hand. Several necromancers were fighting against draugr, and the necromancers were losing. 

“Let’s see if they kill each other off first,” he said.

When it was over, three draugr were left standing, and all the necromancers were dead. Sorcerers were powerful, so if they couldn’t handle draugr, it meant they weren’t any typical draugr. Some had magical abilities, and he knew they had to be dealt with stealth-like. Lucinia and Anaka followed his lead, all had their bows ready as they killed the remaining draugr without the dead noticing them. 

Pathways and chambers led them to more draugr. Lucinia was the best at killing them with her fire spells and flame atronach. Vorstag put her in charge of killing most of them. Anaka had her own spells, but she wasn’t nearly as strong as Lucinia, who worked with the girl casting magic. The mercenary wanted Anaka behind him at all times, anyway. He had to protect her as much as he could.

When they came out into an opening, Vorstag stopped them. He walked over to a ledge and looked out into a massive cave, covered in crumbling ruins. Light streamed in through the top where the ceiling collapsed, allowing plants to grow wild inside. Movement below showed skeletons, armed with weapons, guarding the ruins for all eternity until Vorstag killed them. He didn’t know why the place was crawling with moving bones, protecting something, but he didn’t know what. Looking further below, there was a pool of water, waterfalls, and what looked like a Word Wall. Vorstag pointed to Anaka, who nodded, showing nothing on her face. But he knew well enough she didn’t like it.

The path was long that brought them below, and it didn’t take much effort to kill what was already dead. Anaka couldn’t help but smile to know the new word would allow her to walk through solid objects. 

“This could be useful,” she said, but her smile died away and turned to a frown. “I guess I can’t use it until I kill a dragon.”

In front of them were several closed gates that had no way of opening them. “There must be a way in,” Lucinia said. “It makes no sense to have several gates, one after the other when one would do.”

Anaka turned and walked around, looking at the stones. When she stood close to one of them, the first gate opened. “Maybe this is my first test,” she said. When the girl stepped away, the gate closed. Standing next to the other two stones had the same effect but for the other gates. “If I step away from one, that corresponding gate closes. I wonder…”

Standing next to the first stone again, Anaka did her shout that sent her past each stone as fast as lightning. Sure enough, she reached the next chamber, and all the gates remained open.

“Well done!” Vorstag said, genuinely impressed. “I don’t think I would have ever figured that one out.”

The gates brought them to a smaller chamber covered in pressure plates as far as he could see. “I don’t like the look of this.” Vorstag tossed a large stone on one of the plates, and the ground burst into flame. “We are going to have to be careful where we walk. There are crumbling stones we can step on to avoid the fire traps.”

“This would have been a good time to use my new shout, but I need a soul for that,” Anaka said.

“True, but we need to stick together, not send you off alone.”

Hopping onto stones, they reached another larger chamber full of Frost Spiders. The girl wasted no time and used her stagger shout, which did more than just stagger. It flung the spiders across the room and smashed dead against the stone walls.

“Nicely done, Ana,” Lucinia said. “The Greybeards are going to be quite pleased with you.”

Opening the gate, they walked through another chamber full of water. When Anaka stepped into the passageway, massive pillars rose from the watery depths as if in deference to the Dragonborn. Vorstag was expecting another trap, but nothing happened. The pillars just rose and stood like sentries. 

Ahead of them was a large and decorative coffin. Vorstag assumed it was where Jurgen Windcaller was buried. Atop of the coffin was a gauntlet reaching upward as if trying to grab something in the air, and in its metal hand was a folded piece of parchment. 

“Where’s the Horn? Surely this is the place,” he said. He opened a chest tucked in a corner, but no horn. Throwing some gems and jewels in his pack, he closed it and continued to look around. 

“Is it in the next room?” Lucinia asked. 

Anaka reached for the parchment, opened it, and read it. “It’s not here,” she said, disappointment and frustration in her voice, handing the note to Vorstag.

“It appears someone is looking for you, Anaka. They have the Horn. Bastard! All that work for nothing! I guess we have no choice but to see what this person wants.”

Anaka sat on stone steps, exhaustion, and some other emotion on her face, sadness perhaps. “I wanted to see my family, not chase off some jerk who took my Horn.”

Vorstag sat next to the girl and put an arm around her, pulling her into a gentle embrace. “We are going to see your family, and that is all there is to it. This asshole can wait. If they are this desperate to see you, then they will do just that.”

“Really? I can still see them?”

“Of course, we can.”

And just like that, her smile returned to her face.

“When we do go to Riverwood, I will pose as the Dragonborn. I’m not having Anaka going in there without us knowing exactly what we are getting into.”

“Agreed,” Lucinia said.

A storm was approaching in the distance, and Vorstag pushed the horses to reach Anaka’s farm before it hit, but it was too fast. It slowed their progress as the wind tore through them with pelting snow and ice as if the skies were preventing them from reaching their destination. The landscape was open, and there was nowhere to hunker down, so they pushed the horses onward. 

Lucinia sat in front with Vorstag to keep her warm, her exposed locks covered in snow and ice. He could see some light coming from a house through the distance, peeking through the thick snow. Unable to tell where they were with limited visibility, they made their way there, hoping they were kind enough to take them in. They had to get out of the storm before they or the horses died from exposure.

“There it is!” yelled Anaka through the wind. 

The stables were large, and Vorstag led the horses to feed and water them while the women ran inside. The creatures were cold and manes covered in ice as he tried to warm them and pulled out their blankets, draping their bodies. At least it was out of the wind. Leaving them to their food and water, Vorstag made his way back out into the storm and walked in the house without knocking.

Anaka and Lucinia were sitting by the fire, the mage still shivering, hair drooping from the wetness of melted snow. The girl was being showered by hugs and kisses from her family. It wasn’t uncommon for the girl to be happy and have a broad smile on her face, but this was beyond that. She had tears of joy in her eyes as she hugged her plump mother. Anaka looked like her, with blonde hair and blue eyes. Her father was taller than Vorstag but thin and lanky. His hair and eyes were both dark. 

The girl stooped to pick up her little sister and hold her, showering the little girl in kisses who giggled. Then it was her brothers’ turn to hug their sister, welcoming her home.

“This is Lucinia, a mage from the College and Vorstag, a warrior who protects and trains us. This is my father, Bjan, and my mother, Svana.”

Vorstag shook her father’s hand. “Thank you for taking us in. I’m afraid that storm came out of nowhere.”

“Welcome to life up north. We have little space, but you’re welcome here.”

“It’s fine. We can sleep on the floor.”

Akana’s family already ate dinner, but there was leftover stew for the rest of them. As they sat at the table, the girl told her story. They knew most of it as she wrote to them often, but now she gave them all the details. Her mother was fraught with worry as she fisted hands in her apron.

“This is all so terrifying, Ana. Do you have to traipse across this dangerous country? And dragons no less!”

“A dragon hunter! That is amazing! What an adventure,” Alan, her brother exclaimed.

“I agree with Mother on this, sister. It is too dangerous for you,” Erald said, the eldest brother.

Anaka nodded in agreement. “It’s terrifying seeing those beasts fly and spread their fire. But Lucinia and Vorstag help me. I don’t like it. I don’t like their souls. They are angry, foul. But I don’t have a choice. It is my destiny. Why I was chosen, I will never understand.”

“You can just stay here at home with us. There’s no need for you to leave again. Live your life here, get married, have lots of babies,” her mother said, with trembling lips, trying not to cry. “I’ve missed you, my girl.”

Sadness replaced Anaka’s joy, her eyes filled with tears she didn’t let spill. “I’ve missed you all too, but I can’t stay. I have a long journey ahead of me, and I must try to defeat the great black dragon. He will kill all of us, and there won’t be a home, a husband to return to, or children to bear. I’m sorry. I wish there was another way.”

After their meal, they all sat by the fire and had some wine while Vorstag and Lucinia told their stories. Anaka typically curled up on Vorstag in the evenings as she grew tired, but it was clear she was a daddy’s girl as her father held her. He felt a strange pang of jealousy. Vorstag got used to the girl curling up with him every night.

When the children fell asleep, Vorstag pulled out the bedrolls by the fire. Her father brought the girl to her old bed as the mercenary and mage sat by the fire. 

Lucinia grabbed his hand, smiling up at him. “You did a good thing bringing Ana here. She needed her family. It’s been a year now.”

“It wasn’t that much out of our way,” he shrugged. Vorstag wasn’t used to being complimented or told he was a good person. So whenever Lucinia or Anaka told him as much, he shrugged it off, not knowing how to handle it.

The mage’s face turned from kind to mischievous. Vorstag knew he was about to be tormented with teases. “Alright out with it. Let’s hear it.”

“I think you are getting attached to our Ana. Who would have thought Mister Broody Moody would miss a little girl curled up on his lap in the evenings?”

He could feel his defensive walls build up. Why should he care? So what if Anaka grew on him, but defensive, he was. “I didn’t miss it… I don’t. It’s annoying, and I barely tolerate her.”

Lucinia snorted a laugh. “You keep telling yourself that, then. I know otherwise.”

“Fine, she’s growing on me, okay?”

Lucinia curled her body on her bedroll, using his thigh for a pillow as she watched the fire. “Do you ever want a family?”

_This woman sure has become snuggly lately—her and the girl_. “No… I don’t know. I never thought about children, let alone marriage.” Vorstag wanted to twist her hair around his fingers as she laid there, but he leaned back on his hands instead.

“Not once?”

“I guess when I was much younger. Life as a mercenary doesn’t leave much room for anything else.”

“No time for love? Are you really that busy, mercenary?”

No, he wasn’t that busy, at least not before he met Lucinia and Anaka. Vorstag wasn’t about to admit he avoided love like the plague. But that was before. He didn’t think about love, but he saw the mage as something else other than a woman to bed. He wanted that too. He wasn’t stupid, but he wanted more. That’s the part that scared him—that ‘more’ part. All he wanted to do at that moment was lift her up and kiss her, wrap his hands in her thick curls and pull her close against his body. _Stop it!_

“You’ve gone quiet. Did my question bother you?”

“Sorry, it’s fine. No woman wants a mercenary. Not permanently anyway.” _Lies._ “That isn’t true. Some women did. I don’t want to admit how pathetic I am at life,” he admitted. Maybe she would dislike him with his admission. It would make it easier to resist her. Then she could stop snuggling up against him.

When Lucinia sat up, he instantly regretted the thought and almost pulled her back down to rest on his lap.

“You are not pathetic in life. Why would you say such a thing?”

He had to stop looking into her lovely pale green eyes; the fire reflecting into them, making them dance. A desire to grab her face and brush his lips to hers was overwhelming. What would happen if he kissed her? Would it be that bad? What if she turned away and said no? What if she said yes? It could be great at first, but she would come to hate him. Then living together would be awkward and strange. They had a job to do, which was to protect Anaka and not get involved with the mage. It was a distraction.

“Vorstag?”

“Sorry… I just am, OK? I spent most nights in Markarth drinking too much, brawling for sport, and taking women… well, you need not know the details. Life was dull, monotonous, and there was little work.” There, that should get her to dislike him. _Easy_.

_Why would it be easy?_ A gentle hand to the face wasn’t supposed to happen. Lucinia was supposed to have a look of disgust on her face, not touch him. Those eyes should have been filled with disgust or pity, not kindness. She needed to see how pathetic he was. Not worthy of her time and attention. It would be simpler.

“Then you are blind. Look at all that you have done…”

Vorstag removed her hand, holding it for a moment too long. “Stop. Don’t… you see what you want to see.”

Letting go of her hand, he curled up on his bedroll, facing away from her. He didn’t want her compliments or to tell him how good he was. It was bullshit. She was the blind one. Lucinia had seen bad parts to him before, and it was as if she’d completely forgotten what an asshole he was to her in the beginning. Vorstag was grateful she didn’t push the issue.

It was easier this way.

They spent an extra day on the farm from the snowstorm, which pleased Anaka to no end, but they had to move on by the fourth day. There were many tears among the women, and the older brothers tried to be stoic, but the watering eyes were a giveaway that they would miss their little sister. 

After the tearful goodbyes, Anaka spent a good thirty minutes sobbing into Lucinia. Another reminder of how young she was and forced to have such a heavy burden that even adults would be hard-pressed to carry. The real burden of what she had to do for the people of Skyrim weighed on Vorstag. He knew well enough that while she was busy saving people, no one would notice or care. If they cared, it would be through demands she do more. The mercenary understood all too well.

He chose mercenary life, not just for the gold, but to get away from true responsibility. Taking care of his younger sister alone wasn’t a burden because he loved her, but it was a lot of work. He gave all of himself to her through love. Vorstag bathed her, fed her, cleaned up after her. It was too much for a child his age. It was a lonely job. Ulla seemed happy. She smiled, but she couldn’t talk other than some noises. He talked to her plenty, unsure if she could understand him or not, and to hear his own voice once in a while. 

Even though he wanted to care for her because he loved her, he ran from responsibility and duty once she was no longer there. He became engrossed in selfishness. Everything he did after he left home was self-serving. Since Anaka and Lucinia came into his life, he spent his time correcting all the damage he did to himself. Vorstag tried to remember what it was like caring for his sweet sister, who never cried, yelled, got angry, complained. Perhaps because she couldn’t. Maybe there were days she wanted to yell out but wasn’t able to. He would never know. His biggest fear was the change he was going through was for more selfish reasons—he was doing it to have her. It was another reason for pushing back. Vorstag didn’t trust his intentions.

The mercenary didn’t know Lucinia was staring at him, so lost in thought he was. “You went on another journey without us, it would seem,” she said. Her words sounded teasing, but her eyes conveyed concern.

“It’s not important.” He knew between the discussion they had about this pathetic life the other night to his silence now; she was growing worried. He needed to work on hiding his emotions better. Vorstag used to be good at that stoic thing, but it’s as if the two women broke him, turned him into something less. Maybe it was more. He didn’t know. All he knew was there were too many confusing thoughts in his head.

“Before we go to Riverwood and find this mysterious person who ruined your mission, Anaka, we need to train you more. We will spend a few more days at home before we head out again.”

“Okay,” she said. “Can I see that note again?”

Vorstag handed the girl the note they found in the ruins. “I didn’t try it before, but I would like to now. I want to see if I can sense anything from it,” she explained. Holding the note and closing her eyes, she pulled a vision from it. “Hooded person, a woman, slipped through the back way. She takes the Horn and replaces it with a note. She’s blonde, older, and has a scar on her face. I can’t see her intentions, but she definitely wants to talk to me. The woman is familiar, but I can’t place her.”

“As I already explained, we will go in carefully. I will be you, Anaka. I will pretend to be the Dragonborn. I don’t want you to do it. If she isn’t a threat to you, then I will allow her to talk to you. You and Lucinia will sit in the tavern. I doubt anyone will suspect a young girl of being the Dragonborn.”

Anaka resumed her child-like behavior when she saw Halof waving to her in the distance. He was pulling weeds from the cabbages when the boy saw them riding up the road. The girl jumped down and ran to him, hugging him for too long, blubbering how much she missed the boy. Vorstag separated the children, letting them know the hug was inappropriately too long, ignoring Halof’s scowls and Anaka’s demands that the mercenary mind his own business.

They arrived just in time for dinner. After they cleaned up, they sat down to a wonderful meal Gretga made and told his family all about the ruins, and Anaka talked about the visit to her family. 

“Are you sure it’s wise to see this stranger, brother?” Jolf asked.

“I don’t trust it at all, but we need that Horn. The person could have taken the Horn and been done with it. Instead, they are using it as an opportunity to talk to Anaka. I don’t like it, but she will not face this person alone, or at all if I can help it. I will take her place.”

“All this dragon business and delving into dangerous ruins just seems so inappropriate for a young woman. Are you all sure there is no other way around this?” Gretga asked.

“There is no other way. I have to do this,” Anaka said. “My mother asked me the same questions. I have little choice. If I don’t, all my visions lead me to the same conclusions—death for all of us.”

After dinner, Gretga ordered Vorstag and Jolf to clean up the kitchen and wash the dishes. The whole thing seemed entirely too domestic for the mercenary. If things had been different, this was what he would do regularly. His wife would cook, he would clean, the children would play. The very idea felt odd to him after being alone for so long. 

“How are you and Lucinia?” Jolf asked as Vorstag was washing, and his brother dried dishes.

“What a strange question to ask.”

“Well, you had that fight and fixed things, but she looks at you in a pining sort of way. I catch you looking at her when you think no one is noticing.”

“Is there a point you’re trying to make, brother?” Vorstag didn’t mask his irritation at his brother’s poking and prodding—noticing entirely too much.

“You two like each other. Have you kissed her yet?” 

The mercenary could feel himself retreating inwardly, hunching his shoulders as if that would get his brother to leave him alone. “We don’t like each other.”

“Come on, brother. One would have to be blind…”

“Can you drop this, please?” Vorstag looked at his brother in the eye, showing he was done with this conversation. 

“Are you ever going to stop shutting people out of your life?”

“No,” was all he said, defiant and angry, and stormed out of the kitchen.

After returning to the house, Anaka went to bed, carrying her new puppy with her, and Lucinia stayed in the kitchen to bake some desserts for tomorrow. Vorstag locked himself in his room to read for a while before bed. He needed the distraction, and reading didn’t allow him to think about his brother’s words. Why couldn’t everyone just mind their own damned business? It was all putting him in a surly mood.

_Shit. She had to start singing, didn’t she?_ It was soft to not wake up Anaka, but he could hear it through his door, clear, resonant, perfect pitch. _That goddamned siren call_. The mage had to be doing it on purpose. She wanted to draw him out, torture him. He would go downstairs because, apparently, he had no self-control—no will-power. Slamming his book shut, he got out of bed and walked downstairs, where the singing was louder, calling him, drawing him in. 

The downstairs was full of sugary smells and baking dough. The mage had her back to him, bending over to pull pastries out of the oven, her curls pulled up and piled high on her head. Vorstag didn’t recognize the song, but it didn’t matter. He loved her voice. Who wouldn’t? 

Feigning he wasn’t interested, he plopped onto a cushioned chair and tried to ignore her. He watched her dance as she put the pastries on a plate to cool, dustings of flour dotted her face and hair. The scene reminded him of that day she was chasing butterflies. There were times the light just filled her or was it pouring out of her? He couldn’t decide. Perhaps both. Whichever it was, he felt it radiate through him. She was like a faerie.

She headed his way as he quickly planted his nose in a book, hoping she didn’t notice his stares. Lucinia was standing in front of him, covered in flour, a smile on her face. He couldn’t very well ignore her. She reached out her dusty hand, and as if he had no thoughts of his own, grabbed it and allowed himself to be pulled out of the chair. No, she was too small to pull him up. He stood on his own accord, unable to resist her. 

Vorstag allowed himself to be spun around as she sang. She grabbed his hand and spun herself under it, laughing, singing. He was drunk on her light and sounds. There was more laughter, deeper. He wondered who else was laughing when he realized it was him.

“I finally have your attention,” she said. “Do you know how hard that is?”

“You always have my attention.” Vorstag didn’t know why he said that. He just blurted it, feeling the heat creep up his face and to his ears. That didn’t stop him from rambling because why would it? “I couldn’t take my eyes off of you when you chased those butterflies and gathered wildflowers on that warm day. The light radiated through you. You are life and light. It’s as if I can feel your joy. Every time you look my way, touch my hand, sit too close, sleep next to me in the tent, sing your songs, wear flour on your face, you have my attention.”

He could barely look at her eyes, doe eyes, starry eyes. _This is a mistake_. He shouldn’t have said those things to her. Life was complicated enough without him adding to it. “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have said that,” he said and pulled away, but Lucinia held tight, not allowing him to go anywhere. 

“Did you not mean them?” she asked, but she knew he meant them, pushing him back against the wall, trapping him. She was too small to trap him, but he didn’t move away. The mage was close, too close, pressed against him. Where were his hands? Clammy hands wrapped around her small waist. He hoped she couldn’t feel the wetness through her dress. It would take only a slight movement to push her away or pull her in.

“I meant every word.” _Shut up! Stop talking! Walk away now before you get too deep._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading!


	13. Inevitabilities and Proving Worths

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kisses do something to Vorstag. He doesn't know whether to be happy or terrified. He wants her, but there are too many unknowns! But Lucinia has complete power over him. Vorstag has a man-to-man with a teen-age boy and pretends he's the Dragonborn to protect Anaka gainst whoever took the Horn of Jurgen Windcaller.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ah, the first kiss. Always my favorite part.
> 
> CW: There is a teeny-weeny part with masturbation.

The renewed attempt to escape her clutches was in vain. Lucinia wasn’t about to let him go, not that he was trying very hard. Vorstag could have lifted her and moved her elsewhere, but he stood unmoving, allowing her to press him against the wall as if she had all the power. Perhaps she did. He could have removed her arms as they snaked up his chest and around his neck, but he stood there like an idiot, allowing it to happen. Her pale green eyes bore into his as if seeking his soul. If she was, she found it. Clammy hands wrapped around her, holding her close, but he had yet to move his lips to hers, his mind a thunderstorm of thoughts, worries, and doubts.

“What are you so afraid of?” she asked. Aye, she saw right into his soul.

“You.”

“Why? I thought I could barely fight a ferocious kitten. Your words.” Her voice was soft, a whisper, seductive eyes not leaving his. He took her for naive, but perhaps he was wrong.

A quiet laugh blew out of his mouth. “You’re frightening in other ways.” 

Vorstag swallowed hard, hearing it, knowing she could too. He was afraid his obvious fear would give her power over him, but his words did that just fine on their own. With every thundering heartbeat, she climbed ever higher towards him. Her face was so close, he could see every speck of flour on her nose, every freckle on her skin. The ridiculousness of it pulled him in further to her.

“Yet I’m so small and you are so large. How can I possibly be frightening to one such as yourself?”

“I’m afraid to lose myself in you. I’m a different person around you,” he said with honesty. “I’m also afraid I will ruin things, then you will leave. I don’t want you to leave.”

“Have you ever just let that strong control of yours go, mercenary?” Her face inches from his. Vorstag could feel her breath on his skin. It smelled like sugar and wine. Lucinia must have been sampling her desserts. She was on the tips of her toes, unable to reach him further. It would take him to bend to allow them to reach each other.

“Too many times. I have no control. That is my problem.”

The fingers tracing the tattoo on his face did him in. It broke all his will power. He lifted her, feet dangling, their faces hovering, so close. He held back, not wanting to either, unable to take his eyes off of hers—heated green eyes boring into him, begging him to give into her. Because he was a coward, she grabbed his face to prevent his escape and pressed her mouth to his. Every bit of control he had washed away with her soft and warm lips. Vorstag melted into her. He might have groaned in her mouth, but the only sound he could hear was his own thundering heartbeat.

The kiss was tentative at first as if they were trying each other out to see if they fit. They fit perfectly, so the kiss grew heated. He could taste the sugar on her lips, on her tongue as it entered his mouth. Lucinia was so light, lifting her, pulling her in tighter. Her fingers ran through his hair, nails scraping his scalp, feet dangling. With one arm gripping her, the other hand fisted in her curls. Her lips were so soft. He wanted to suck her full bottom lip and did, then their tongues sought, twirled, explored.

Vorstag couldn’t do it. The last thing he wanted was to treat her like the others. Lucinia was more than that, special. Gently, slowly, he put her down. Their parting was regretful for both of them. Her big eyes staring up at him, questioningly with a haze of lust. The mercenary was certain his eyes mirrored hers. After a kiss, he took women to his bed for a night of fun, but that was all it ever was. He didn’t want that for Lucinia. He wanted to take his time to learn, know, explore her. When had he ever wanted a woman in that way? Not since Gretga and even then the pull towards Lucinia was twice as strong, tugging at him like a lifeline.

With great effort and reluctance, he pushed her back, took her hand in his, and pulled her towards the pile of pillows by the fire. Lying down, he pulled her close to him. Her brows were furrowed, curious, but softened when he held her to him. 

“I’ve been wanting to do that for a while,” he said.

Lucinia nuzzled her face into his neck, pulling her in as she draped a leg over his, and rested his head on hers. He didn’t want to talk, so he held her close to him, enjoying the feel of her. Her body radiated heat as she did light. 

“I just want to hold you for a while, if that’s okay.”

She nodded into his neck and pulled herself in tight to him, appreciating that she didn’t utter a word or else he would lose control. Her silence was his savior and he wondered how she read him so well.

Vorstag winced, his neck stiff as he moved. His eyes slowly came into focus to the daylight streaming in thick paned windows and wondered if he slept in the same position all night. Shifting, he felt something heavy on him and looked down to see Lucinia still curled up into him, sleeping. He couldn’t help but smile at her. Her hair was a wreck, the flour on her face long gone as he kissed the top of her curly head. 

He shifted again, his back hurt, but he didn’t want to move too much, his desire to have her by his side overrode any pain he had. Looking around, he sensed movement. There she was, Anaka sitting in a chair feeding the pup in her lap some meat, watching. She had a smile that said ‘I told you so.’ Vorstag scowled at her, but it only served to make her smile broader, brighter. 

“I knew the day we met, you two would fall in love with each other,” she said.

“We are not in love.”

“Yet…”

“Is that what your visions told you?”

“Yes,” she giggled. 

Vorstag’s stomach fluttered, but he didn’t know if that was a good or bad thing. He wasn’t ready for any sort of love despite his growing affection for Lucinia. A kiss was one thing. Love was something else entirely. Based on his little experience, he knew enough that love could quickly turn to pain. That was the last thing he wanted, not only for himself but for Lucinia.

The mage squirmed on him, hands reaching up along his back to his head, fingers combing through his hair, fisting it as he had last night. It was a good thing Anaka was hovering because he might have made love to Lucinia right then and there. The heat crept up his neck and face when he felt himself harden. _Not here. Not now._ It didn’t matter how much he willed it to go away, his body refused to listen and hoped neither of them noticed.

“Don’t you have something to do other than stare, girl?”

“Nope, I’m comfortable right here with Bear,” she giggled.

“Out... please!” He didn’t want to snap at her, but he wanted to get up and away from Lucinia before things got worse. There was no way to do that with the girl sitting right there.

“Fine, I will take Bear outside to potty and go for a walk.”

When he heard the door shut behind her, Vorstag breathed a sigh of relief. Now to deal with Lucinia from noticing his dilemma. He tried to push away, but Lucinia only pulled him in tighter.

“Not yet,” she said.

Groaning inwardly, Vorstag scooted back his hips from her a little so she at least wouldn’t feel him. “We should really get up. Anaka caught us.”

“Caught us? I didn’t know we were hiding?”

“You know what I mean. The girl does love her torments as much as you do.”

“It’s fun to torment you,” she said, reaching her lips to kiss his nose.

_This isn’t helping!_ Tangled fingers in his hair pulling him in for another kiss left him moaning in her mouth. He was supposed to be detangling himself from her, not letting himself turn into knots. _She’s going to notice_. Vorstag was a boneless piece of man meat around her, no muscles against the assault of her mouth. Lucinia had to be the one to let go. He couldn’t do it—unable to pull away. With all his experiences with women, the mage left him absolutely flustered and brain dead at the same time.

“Mmm, I could kiss you all day,” she said when she pulled away. “But we have work to do—training, right?”

“Huh?”

“Training?”

“Uh, aye, training.”

One more peck on his lips and she got up, leaving him feeling naked without her. Everything screamed at him to pull her back, but he managed to have some semblance of control—a little dignity.

Lucinia stood and stretched to her tippy toes, a grin on her face, sleepy eyes, loud yawn. She spun around in her happiness and Vorstag melted watching her, smiling. “Would you like some tea?” she asked.

“Huh?”

“Hello? Is there a mercenary in that head of yours? Tea—would you like some?”

“Aye, that sounds nice. Thank you.”

Vorstag stood, grateful Lucinia couldn’t see the bulge and ran upstairs. “I’ll be back in a moment.”

Rushing to his room, yanking down his breeches, he pulled himself out. The touches and strokes were quick, desperate. He wanted to collapse on the floor as he spilled. Vorstag rushed to clean up, straightened himself out, and combed back hair with fingers, confident she wouldn’t notice what he had done. With a loud sigh to ready himself for her, he walked down to the kitchen for his tea and breakfast as if nothing had happened—everything innocent-like.

He sat at the small table and Lucinia slid him a plate with a pastry and some tea. “Dessert to break my fast?”

Lucinia chuckled with a look of pity on her face. “It is a pastry filled with eggs, cheese, and bacon. I would not serve you dessert for breakfast.”

“Right, of course.”

“Eat up. I’m going to change into my leather armor and we can go to your brother’s place for training. Jolf said that Halof would like to train with us.”

“Halof just wants to be near Anaka. The boy could care less about swordplay.”

“Yes, he is smitten with the girl as she is him, but boys like swords too. Try not to be too hard on him in training just because they are sweet on each other.”

“I’ll give him a right thrashing if he tries to kiss her again.”

“Don’t blame the boy. Ana is just as much trouble.”

Lucinia stood next to him and didn’t have to bend down very far to grab him by the face and pull him into her warm lips. “I’ll be right down.”

Vorstag didn’t know how she was so confident and full of smiles—so at ease. His stomach was in knots and afraid he’d never get them untangled. His mind was a torrent of flustered emotions. There were happy and joyous emotions to be sure, but he was a bundle of nerves. Maybe a tough training session will do him some good.

Vorstag was greeted by a screaming five-year-old running straight for him. 

“Uncle,” the boy yelled.

The mercenary was getting used to children and lifted Wilhelm in the air as the child giggled. “Are you here to be a warrior too?”

Wilhelm’s smiles faded into a pout. “Mama won’t let me.”

“Well, your mama is probably right. Swords are dangerous and sharp, but I promise to teach you when you’re a bit older, OK? Maybe your mama will let you if we find a wooden sword to practice with.”

“I’m asking papa right now to get me one!”

Vorstag turned to Lucinia. “Give me a moment,” he said and walked off to talk to Halof, ignoring Anaka’s appalled face. The boy wanted to be near Anaka, but it was at the expense of his uncle’s interference.

“Let’s go…”

“Where are we going,” Halof asked.

“To talk.”

“I have nothing to talk about with you!”

“I know you’re angry with me, but you need to understand why. We can’t glower at each other for the rest of our lives, especially if you want to train under me. Sit,” Vorstag ordered, pointing at a bench.

Halof stood, arms folded, standing in defiance.

“Or stand. I don’t care. I know you and Anaka like each other, but she is very young still and she’s under my protection…”

“Some people get married at our age.”

“Aye, they do, but it is usually out of necessity. As I was saying, Anaka is under my protection. I have no problems with you liking each other. I am sure you are a good boy, but she has parents and I know they hope I protected her from things like marriage and babies as young as she is. They have enough to deal with. She is also the Dragonborn, Halof. Things are going to get rough for her, which will affect you too. She will need stability and a shoulder to lean on, not fleeting love. Do you understand?”

“Yes, it is why I want to train. I want to protect her, fight with her.”

“You are not coming with us,” Vorstag said, trying to be calm. This boy was determined and reminded the mercenary of himself when he was his nephew's age. It was around this age that he fell in love with Gretga. He would have done the same, fought alongside her if he had to.

“I am coming and you can’t stop me,” Halof said, arms at his side, hands fisted. 

“Actually, I can stop you. Do your parents know your intentions when you asked to be trained in sword fighting?”

“Not yet…,” he said, eyes looking downward in guilt.

“Then the answer is no. I’m already having to protect Anaka and Lucinia. I am not about to return to your parents with their dead child, my nephew, in my arms.”

“You won’t. That is why I need to train. I won’t leave with you until I am ready and can fight. I’m not so stupid as to rush into battle without knowing what I’m doing.”

Vorstag was going to have to tell Jolf and Gretga about this. He couldn’t train the boy in good conscience unless they knew everything. No, he was going to make the boy tell them. If he was serious, then he had to be responsible and honest.

“I’ll tell you what. I will train you and let you come with us under certain conditions. First, you tell your parents what your intentions are. You have to be honest with them. Second, you have to do every single thing I tell you. It is not because I’m an asshole, which I am, but it is to keep you alive. Is that understood?”

“Yes, I will do it.”

“You’re going to hate me if I train you. I’m not going to go easy on you.”

“I already hate you,” the boy retorted.

Halof was serious, but Vorstag snorted in laughter regardless, not taking offense. “Fair enough, nephew.”

When they returned, Anaka’s face was full of worry, but the boy must have said something or gave her a reassuring look because she soon smiled. 

Bear, the pup, gnawed on a bone as the four got ready to train. Wilhelm sat with the dog, petting its head, to watch and pine, wishing he was learning to be a warrior too.

After covering the basics, and instead of sparring with Halof, he had Anaka spar with him. If anything would take the boy down a couple of notches, it would be a girl who was better at swordplay than he was. The girl was improving as she practiced every day without complaint. Anaka took it seriously, as did Lucinia. He would see how well the boy did. If the mercenary assumed correctly, Halof and his temper would send him running at his defeat from a girl. Vorstag didn’t set out to humiliate the boy, but he wanted to make sure Halof was serious.

Anaka did not hold back on Halof after the boy learned the basics. When he took the wrong stance or his thrust was wide, or left openings, the girl would correct him. To give his nephew credit, though irritated, he took his lessons seriously and never backed down or gave up. When they were finished, Anaka told him how well he did and Halof was soon all smiles again.

Before dinner, Halof, true to his word, told his parents his intentions. Gretga was unyielding in her decision to not let her son go off on dangerous adventures, but Jolf didn't agree, leading to more arguments. In the end, they agreed that once Halof was properly trained, he could leave once in a while, not stay gone, trusting Vorstag to protect their oldest child.

“You better protect him, Vorstag. I mean it,” Gretga said, not hiding her worry and anger while they all had dinner together.

“I will, but he won’t go until I know he’s ready,” Vorstag promised.

Despite their agreement with Halof, the boy still tried to come with them to Riverwood the next morning but was denied and forced to say goodbye to Anaka.

Vorstag jumped on Snowball when Lucinia lifted her hands up to him. “Aren’t you going to ride with Anaka?” he asked.

“I want to ride with you. Anaka is a capable rider.”

He lifted her up and sat her in front of him and pulled her hood over her head. “I have to keep that crazy hair out of my face.” Lucinia turned to face him, smiling then rubbed her head on his chest like a cat. 

By the time they reached Riverwood, it was early evening. Vorstag stabled Snowball and Bubbles, letting Lucinia and Anaka go into Sleeping Giant Inn alone, and order some dinner. Vorstag didn’t want to arrive together if he was playing the part of the Dragonborn. He didn’t look their way when he entered the Tavern, sitting at a table opposite of them. An older blonde woman came up to take his order. He remembered her from the last time they were there—after that, Helgen.

“I’d like the attic room,” he said, not wasting any time.

The woman’s eyes narrowed ever so slightly. "Attic room, eh? Well, we don't have an attic room, but you can have the one on the left. Make yourself at home."

Vorstag wondered if she was the woman they were to meet, but he couldn’t be sure. Perhaps she was working with the thief who stole the Horn. He stood and headed to the room she indicated and waited.

Not a moment later, the same woman walked into the room and shut the door. "So you're the Dragonborn I've been hearing so much about—”

She didn’t have a chance to finish what she was saying before Vorstag had her pinned against the wall, a blade at her throat. “Where is it and what do you want with me?”

“You can kill me if you want, but if you look down, I have a dagger on you as well.” 

Vorstag took a quick look and found a dagger slipped between his thigh and balls. “You can kill me, but I will kill you first. Plus I have a healer right outside this room. Talk.”

The woman lifted her hands, put away her dagger, and pulled out the Horn of Jurgen. “I just want to talk.”

“You have a funny way of showing it.”

“It’s nice to see the Dragonborn clever and strong. Perhaps we stand a chance. Here, you can have the Horn. I wanted to talk with you,” she said again.

“I went through a lot of fucking trouble to get that horn. You could have just sought me out. I may even have talked to you.”

"I didn't go to all this trouble on a whim. I needed to make sure it wasn't a Thalmor trap. I'm not your enemy. I already gave you the Horn. I'm actually trying to help you. I just need you to hear me out."

Vorstag looked at the woman trying to figure out if he could trust her or not. He didn’t, but he put away his dagger since she put away hers. “Then start explaining, fast.”

Her eyes narrowed in irritation. “I'll explain what I want when I want, get it? You'd already be dead if I didn't like the look of you when you walked in here. But I had to know if the rumors about you were true… I'm part of a group that's been looking for you. Well, someone like you, for a very long time. If you really are Dragonborn, that is. Before I tell you any more, I need to make sure I can trust you."

“Me? You’re the one who dragged my ass in here, not the other way around.”

Both of them turned their heads to the knock on the door. “Open it carefully,” he said, holding out his dagger again.

On the other side was Anaka with Lucinia behind her, a look of apology in her eyes and a shrug. “I told you to stay back!” he grunted at her.

“I was listening on the other side of the door. She wants to talk to me. If she wanted the Dragonborn dead, she would have tried already. I would like to hear what she has to say.”

The woman looked at Vorstag then back at the girl again, scoffing. “You’re the real Dragonborn? You’re just a child.”

“You are observant at least,” Anaka said. 

“Then who are you,” she asked Vorstag. 

“I’m here to protect her as is the mage behind her.”

“Fine, we need to talk. Follow me.”

The Nord woman walked off to another bedroom and when everyone was inside, she closed the door behind her then went to the wardrobe to open a secret panel. “I need to make sure we aren’t interrupted.”

Anaka took the lead as Vorstag had taught her, but she became quite natural at it, once again proving that she wasn’t always a child. “Why do you take the horn? It was a lot of work to get there just to find it gone. I wish you had thought of a better way to meet me.”

“I knew the Greybeards would send you there if they thought you were Dragonborn. They're nothing if not predictable. When you showed up here, I knew you were the one the Greybeards sent, and not some Thalmor plant. I had to be sure.”

“Why would the Thalmor be after?”

“We're very old enemies. And if my suspicions are correct, they might have something to do with the dragons returning. But that isn't important right now. What is important is that you might be Dragonborn."

“The Thalmor are not involved with the dragons,” Anaka said.

“You’re just a child. I have been at this a long time. You have no idea what the Thalmor are capable of.”

Just like that, Anaka was dismissed. Vorstag stepped up, but Anaka held up her hand to stop him. She knew he would come to her defense. “If they are long-time enemies of yours perhaps you are blinded by the fact because they are not involved. Why are you looking for the Dragonborn exactly?”

"We remember what most don't—that the Dragonborn is the ultimate dragonslayer. You're the only one that can kill a dragon permanently by devouring its soul. Can you do it? Can you devour a dragon's soul?"

“I can. That still doesn’t answer my question.”

"Good. And you'll have a chance to prove it to me soon enough."

“I can prove it to you now,” Anaka said, not masking her annoyance.

“Prove it how? That you can do a shout? So can the Greybeards and Ulfric Stormcloak. It proves nothing. Look, dragons aren't just coming back, they're coming back to life. They weren't gone somewhere for all these years. They were dead, killed off centuries ago by my predecessors. Now, something's happening to bring them back to life. And I need you to help me stop it."

“I’m sorry, I didn’t catch your name.”

“My name is Delphine.”

“I know how dragons are coming back, I know the Thalmor are not involved, and I have already been hunting dragons. You have nothing to offer me, Delphine.”

Delphine smiled, but the humor didn’t reach her eyes. “I have something that you do not—the Dragonstone.”

“You! It was you we saw in Whiterun. I thought your voice sounded familiar,” Vorstag said.

“Yes, you retrieved the stone for my research. The stone is a map. It tells us where all the dragons are buried. I've looked at which ones are now empty. The pattern is pretty clear. It seems to be spreading from the southeast, down in the Jeralls near Riften. The one at Kynesgrove is next if the pattern holds."

“So you want me to go to Kynesgrove and prove to you I’m the Dragonborn?”

“Yes, that was my intent.”

Anaka grabbed the woman’s wrist and sent the visions before Delphine could escape the grip. _Great black dragon waking bones, blood, war, death, Anaka in the middle of it all_. When the girl let her go, the woman gasped for air as if she had been running. “Wha... what was that?”

“My proof that the Thalmor are not involved and that I know what is raising the dragons. But we will go to Kynesgrove, not for proof, but to stop the next awakening,” Anaka ordered. “We will meet you there.”

When they left the Sleeping Giant Inn, both Lucinia and Vorstag hugged the girl and told her how well she did.

“Well done, girl. You are learning quickly and what a way to put that woman in her place. You are going to be a force to be reckoned with,” Vorstag laughed.

“She was scary, but stupid and blind,” she said.

“So we are off to Kynesgrove, I supposed,” Lucinia said.

“Aye. I wasn’t planning for this long trip and we still have to see the Greybeards. We better stock up before we leave.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading! Comments are always welcome and appreciated! <3


	14. Forced to Grow

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Anaka, the young Dragonborn, struggles after meeting with Delphine. Things get worse facing the dragon in Kynesgrove and still terrified to face Alduin. Their return to High Hrothgar, they stumble on yet another dragon. As she consumes the souls, she slowly loses her inner light. Vorstag struggles to find a way to help her, but as he grows inside, he learns to help her in small ways.

“No, raise the sword higher, Ana. Good. If there’s nowhere else to go, you can roll. No… not like that! Parry, Ana. You left yourself open and now you’re dead,” Vorstag instructed as the two trained. “No, you’re open again. The sword goes across like this. Block! Again!”

Anaka was out of breath and irritated. Ever since they met Delphine and the inevitable facing of the dragon, the girl had been in a mood, distracted. When they made camp, the mercenary decided it would be a good time to spar. Exercise always helped him when he was in a mood, but all it did for Anaka was piss her off. 

“You keep badgering me! How am I going to learn if you keep yelling!” she said, not hiding her frustration.

“How are you going to learn if I don’t? Do you think your enemy is going to give you a moment to breathe or to think about your next move? No, they are going to kill you. You have to fight through the frustration or use it to your advantage.”

Anaka tossed her sword to the ground and sat pouting, bouncing a ball of flames in her hand. “I’m never going to be good enough. All I do is train, train, train!”

Vorstag decided the girl needed some encouragement, but he couldn’t pat her head all the time either. She had to learn to take the good with the bad. “I’m not griping at you because I think you are doing a poor job. You need to learn to think quickly on your feet and I’m trying to help you with that. But try not to get discouraged either, Ana. You don’t realize how good of a job you are doing. The pace at which you learn has been astounding. You’re getting stronger by the day, faster. All we are doing now is making sure you leave no openings and be quicker at finding openings in your opponent.”

“You think I’m doing well?” she asked, looking up with brighter eyes than she had before, hope in her voice.

“Aye, I do.”

“But how can I really learn if I’m just sparring? It’s hard when I can’t actually hit you.”

“I’ve been thinking about that,” Lucinia said, speaking up. “I can conjure a ghost for her. They can fight, but I’ve been reluctant to mention it because the creature will attack her. She has to be ready.”

“That could work. I could stand by and protect her if she needs it. Let’s do it. Lucy, you conjure the ghost. Ana, I not only want you to work on your sword skills, but combine it with spells. You need to strengthen your magic abilities too.”

“I’m tired,” she complained, kicking the dirt with her boot. “I don’t want to train anymore today.”

“There are times in battle you’re going to be exhausted, so you have to push yourself through it—get your second wind. Once you have your second wind, it will give you extra energy to keep going. You will find, when your life's on the line, you have more to give than you thought.”

Anaka groaned but did as she was told. When she stood and picked up her sword, Vorstag gave Lunicinia a nod to cast her spell. As soon as the ghost was conjured it stood there until Anaka attacked, then it went on the offensive, coming at the girl with its ghost-like sword. The mercenary stood close, watching everything. The girl blocked, lunged, cut, blasted it with fire, with ice. The girl must have found an opening or a weakness as she rolled behind the creature and thrust her sword into its back as she blasted it in a continuous stream of flames. She could have used one of her shouts, but Vorstag wanted her to learn to fight first then she could combine all she knew in battle.

“Well done!” he said. “See, you didn’t even need my help.”

Anaka laughed for the first time since Riverwood. Though she was tired, it boosted her mood to accomplish something—to see all her labors come into fruition. 

“I mean if things are that easy for you, then maybe we need to conjure twenty ghosts,” he teased.

“Don’t you dare!” The girl looked at him in horror until he started laughing. “I thought you were serious!” she giggled.

“Well done, sweetheart,” Lucinia said, bringing the girl into a hug. The mage, always the one who gave Anaka the needed affection.

Vorstag found a camping spot for them that had a fallen tree, which was always a special treat as they could lean against it, resting their backs. They already ate their dinner and he leaned back, legs stretched, head back on the log. He looked up when he felt Lucy and Ana curl up next to him on either side. They were both snugglers. Sometimes he was fine with that, other times he needed space. The mercenary never understood their affection towards him. Sure he wasn’t as much of a jerk as he was when he met them, but he didn’t exude tenderness either. It was still strange to him. Regardless he wrapped an arm around each of them as they apparently needed it. 

He thought back to when he talked to Arngeir in High Hrothgar and how Anaka would need him. It wasn’t just his sword arm she would need, but mental and emotional support. Vorstag doubted he could give all that to her, but he tried by opening locked away memories of his sister and how he cared for her. He used that to help him give what the women needed from him, but it wasn’t easy. Sixteen years as a heartless bastard was hard to break.

“I miss Halof,” Anaka said.

Vorstag tried not to roll his eyes at the girl. “You are young yet. There may be other boys in your life. You don’t have to stick to just one. Besides, you’re a bit busy for boys and all that romance stuff.”

“I don’t agree, Vorstag, sorry. Ana has a long and hard road ahead of her. What better way to keep her going than knowing there is love at the end of it.”

“Love? She’s fourteen!”

“I mean eventually. When the road gets rough, it helps to know we are loved.”

“I survived almost eighteen years just fine without it.”

Lucinia’s head was resting on his shoulder, then lifted it to look at him, concern in her eyes. “Did you, though? Were you never lonely? Did you ever wish you had more? Looking back and on those days you did struggle, didn’t you wish you had someone to help you get past it?”

Vorstag didn’t want to talk about this. He did struggle sometimes, which was why he ended up drinking and taking women to his bed. It smoothed things over for a while. He wasn’t about to tell her that. “Look all I’m saying is at fourteen, girls and boys lose interest and move on from one another. I don’t want you focusing on Halof all the time, Ana, even if he is my nephew. We have bigger things to worry about right now.”

Anaka sat up, anger in her eyes. “Do you think me stupid that I don’t know what is at stake! I am bombarded with visions of horror when I’m awake when I’m sleeping. Do you have any idea how much pressure I am under, Mr. Vorstag?” The tears sparkled in her eyes in her frustration, a few slipping out down her face. “I have visions of Halof too. I don’t know what happens to me in the end, or any of us, for that matter, but I know we are together. I see him and me, side by side, swords drawn. I know you see me as some stupid lovesick girl, and maybe I am, but… I see it.”

Vorstag had no idea the girl had visions about the boy, but perhaps he should have known. It tore him deep inside as she reminded him how much she understood what was at stake. He couldn’t imagine having terrifying visions. “You’re right. It was stupid of me to assume you don’t understand. I forget sometimes how smart you are and that not everyone is a cold-hearted bastard like me. I just don’t want you to get swept away by boys. While Lucy says love is important, it can also be a distraction and make you do dangerous things you wouldn’t normally do. Some people risk their lives for it. Just be careful is all I’m saying.”

“That is part of what love is, mercenary. That’s how you know—would you die for this person?” Lucinia explained.

“Aye, but if Ana dies, we all do.”

He cursed under his breath as the girl stormed off to her tent. “Shit, I shouldn’t have said that. She has enough pressure.”

“No, you shouldn’t have. I am sure Ana knows what’s at stake.”

“I better go talk to her.” Lucinia gave him a kiss and he crawled into Anaka’s tent.

The girl was lying on her bedroll, facing away from him. Her mood had been heading downward and he strangely missed her child-like nature. In time, as she consumed more dragon souls and killed to survive, it was going to harden her. Vorstag knew that well enough.

“I’m sorry, Ana. It wasn’t necessary for me to remind you what is at stake. You have the weight of the world on you and I just made it heavier.”

“Then why did you say it?”

“Because I have a lifetime of experience, Ana. My priority is to keep you alive. But I need to remind myself that you see things the rest of us don’t. I’m sure all this can be scary at times, but I find you are one of the bravest people I know.”

The girl sat up and turned to face him, her tears reflected in the firelight. “You think I’m brave?”

“Aye. For all your terrifying visions and knowing what you have to do, you train, you learn, you fight. You are a warrior, Ana, and will be a leader one day. Most people would run if they had to face what you do. Yet, you keep your heart true. I will endeavor to be better for you.”

Vorstag wrapped his arms around the girl when she lunged at him. 

“Thank you for saying that, Mr. Vorstag.”

“Are you ever going to stop calling me ‘Mr.?’” he asked.

“No, because it annoys you and annoying you is fun.”

Vorstag chuckled at the girl. “Fair enough.”

“Everything OK?” Lucinia asked when he came out of the tent and sat next to her.

“Aye, she beat me up a little, but we are good.”

Lucinia sat up and straddled his lap, drawing his face into hers, kissing him. “You are good with her.”

“I don’t know about that, but I’m trying.”

“Perhaps underestimating people, including yourself, is your thing, but you need to stop it. Stop diminishing yourself,” she said, still holding his face with two hands. 

Vorstag tried to look away, but her hands held firm. He didn’t like talking about himself, especially his deeper-rooted problems. Admittedly, he was growing, but that didn’t mean he wanted to talk about it. “Let’s talk about something else, like how beautiful your eyes are in the firelight. The greens just sparkle with the yellows and oranges...”

He pulled her into him, fisting her hair as he kissed her. Her mouth opened in invitation for his tongue and accepted. Kissing her like this pulled the heat from his body and centralized with want. He knew there would be a day when he could hold back no longer. 

“You’re deflecting, mercenary,” she said when they pulled apart.

“Is it working?”

“A kiss like that makes me forget to breathe. I’ve never been kissed the way you kiss me.”

Vorstag’s brows furrowed as he brushed away frizzy hairs from her face. “I find that hard to believe. And if I recall correctly, you’re the one who first kissed me like that. I can’t imagine men not wanting to kiss you all over.”

Lucinia’s skin grew darker in the dim firelight and he knew she was blushing. “You bring it out of me. But no, I have been in the College my entire life. Sure there were boys when I was younger, men as I got older, and I was kissed, but they were all as inexperienced as I was, or they didn’t care.”

“Are you saying you’ve never really been with a man… that way?”

“Are you prying into my sex life, mercenary?”

“I won’t if you don’t want to talk about it, mage.”

“I’m not innocent if that is what you’re asking. That doesn’t mean I had the time of my life. It was mediocre at best,” she shrugged.

He was going to have to change that, but not tonight. Soon.

Despite Anaka’s mood improving on the trip, it soured once more as they neared Kynesgrove. They all agreed they might have to face another dragon if what Delphine told them was true. Vorstag assumed her mood declined because she was going to have to absorb another dragon soul. He knew it made her sick, and he wondered if it affected her on a deeper level. Maybe it was something he had to talk to her about—to explain to him how it made her feel beyond nausea.

Kynesgrove was a small mining community with a couple of houses and a Tavern. Vorstag pulled out his map when they reached the settlement to find the burial mound Delphine marked there. So far, everything seemed calm as the people worked the crops or the smelter. There was no dragon flying around burning people to death—no screams of terror. 

Since the burial mound wasn’t far, he rented stable space for their horses and they walked the rest of the way. 

“It seems peaceful enough,” he said.

“Maybe Delphine was wrong,” Anaka replied, hope in her voice.

“Perhaps.”

Of course, he spoke too soon. The snowstorm came out of nowhere the closer they got. One minute the skies were clear, the next, they could barely see where they were going, heads down to keep the snow from pelting their faces. “What in Oblivion…” Vorstag yelled through the wind. _Was that thunder?_

“Where did this storm come from?” Lucinia screamed.

No one had an answer, so they kept walking. Before they reached the burial mound the dragon was there. The same dragon they saw the day they were in Helgen. Fear formed in the pit of his stomach as the dragon hovered over the burial mound. He looked over at Lucinia and Anaka who mirrored his own fear. Didn’t Anaka say the black dragon was waking up the dead dragons?

“No, I’m not ready,” the girl cried, backing away. But Anaka must have found some bravery in reserve deep inside her as she drew her blade, set it aflame, which Vorstag had never seen her do before, and cast her flame spell in her other hand. 

Before they could attack the black dragon, the ground started to rumble beneath their feet and horror emerged from the ground. Bones climbing through the dirt, turning to muscle and blood as the creature clawed its way out, awakening—a living nightmare. The first thing they had to do was destroy the dragon while it was still weak.

“Kill it!” Anaka yelled, lobbing fireballs at the bones and muscles slithering out of dirt, mud, and snow.

It was strange that Anaka was the first to break the stunned spell they all faced and became a leader, issuing orders. Vorstag ran towards the boney creature and prayed the black dragon would not attack while it was busy bringing the other dragon to life. 

Not much effort was expended to kill a dragon that wasn’t alive yet. The bones crumbled in a heap when they were done and Anaka stood there absorbing the disgusting soul. After the third one, she may have felt sick, but she choked it back. All three readied themselves to fight the black dragon, but nothing happened. The creature hovered over Anaka. Vorstag couldn’t be sure, but he thought he heard laughter coming from it.

" _Ful, losei Dovahkiin? Zu'u koraav nid nol dov do hi,”_ it spoke. “You do not even know our tongue, do you? Such arrogance to dare take for yourself the name of Dovah.”

“ _Zu’u mindoraan hi_. I understand just fine. You don’t deserve my respect,” she said.

“Our time will come, child… _joor Kiir_ ,” he said and flew off.

Anaka tried to be strong in front of the dragon, but as soon as it flew off, she dropped to her knees. Vorstag and Luicina rushed to the girl. Her hands were on the ground as she quelled her nausea. 

“See... brave,” Vorstag said.

“Are you OK, sweetheart,” Lucinia asked.

The girl nodded and stood up on shaking legs. The mercenary tried to lift her, but she brushed him away in annoyance. “I’m not some frail thing! I’m sorry… I didn’t mean to yell. I know you are just trying to help, but the souls make me…”

“Sick, irritable?” he finished for her and she nodded.

When they looked up, they saw Delphine standing there with a look of disbelief on her face. 

“When did you get here? Did you just stand there and watch or did you bother to help?” Vorstag asked.

Delphine ignored the mercenary and looked at the girl. “I'll be damned, you did it! That was well done. It's true, isn't it? You really are Dragonborn.”

“You have your proof and I’m going home now,” Anaka said, walking away.

“I owe you some answers, don't I? Go ahead. Whatever you want to know. Nothing held back.”

The girl turned around, her face a blank mask. Vorstag knew she was holding everything in. “You owe me, but not in the way you think. I already know all about you, Delphine, the last of The Blades,” she said.

Delphine looked at the girl in surprise, but she quickly tucked it away. “The Blades have always guarded and guided the Dragonborn. But we'd forgotten why. Now our purpose is clear. I'm all that's left of the Blades, and you're the Dragonborn. Together we're going to stop these dragons if we have to put every last one of them back in the ground. I could use your help. 

I know you said the Thalmor aren’t involved in the dragons rising. I can see that now, but I need help infiltrating their embassy regardless. I believe I am the last Blade, but I want to be sure there aren’t any others out there. If anyone would know any Blades are still alive, the Thalmor would since we have been hunted to near extinction. We both could use some help.” 

Vorstag stood in front of Anaka in an effort to protect her as Lucinia stood behind the girl, hands on her shoulders. “Hold up a minute. You are not sending Anaka into the nest of the Thalmor. They will kill her. We cannot risk her life foolishly.”

“Wait, Master Vorstag. I want to hear her. I haven’t decided anything yet.”

“Look, I know of one man, Esbern. He knows all there is to know about dragons and the Dragonborn. Rumor has it, he’s in hiding somewhere. We have to find him. He can help you, Dragonborn, defeat that black dragon. You are going to need him.” 

“How would I, a girl, get into the embassy?” Anaka asked.

“I'm not sure yet. I will send word to you in Whiterun when I have something.”

“Very well,” Vorstag said.

“Anaka, we need to talk about this. Let’s stay the night in Kynesgrove since it’s getting late and discuss what you want to do,” he said.

Braidwood Inn in Kynesgrove was busy since it was the only place for miles and miles that offered any sort of entertainment and drinking. He rented a room, since only one was available, and all three of them would have to share. 

“I assume you are set on this embassy mission, Ana,” Vorstag said.

“If we can find more people to help me and provide answers then, yes, I am considering it.”

“Ana, honey. This isn’t just any embassy. It is filled with Thalmor. Skyrim is on the brink of war because of them and it wasn’t that long ago they started another war in Cyrodiil. The embassy is not a place for girls. They would question why you were there,” Lucinia explained.

“That’s why I will go in her stead,” Vorstag said.

“You?” the girl asked.

“Aye, I don’t know how, but you’re not going. I’m sorry, Ana, but no matter how I wrap it around my head, you are going to get caught. The Thalmor don’t mess around. If they catch you, they don’t just kill their prisoners. They, I’m sorry to say, torture people for years. No, you are not going and that is the end of it. If you need to find this man so much, I will go.”

Lucinia’s eyes were full of fear at his mention of torture. “No, you aren’t going either. You could be caught and tortured as well. Do we really need this man?”

“If anyone can infiltrate the embassy, it is me. I have experience in such things. I will be fine.” The mercenary reached for her hand since she wasn’t appeased. “There is time to plan. If it looks like it will be impossible to do, then I won’t.”

“I agree, then,” Anaka said. “You can go in my place. But before we go home, we have to go to High Hrothgar and return the Horn.”

“Are you sure? We can do it later. You look like you need a long rest… you always look that way after you absorb those dragon souls,” he said.

“I’m sure. Let’s just get it over with. It’s on the way home anyway.”

Vorstag stared at the girl as she ate. The food gave her a bit more color to her cheeks, but she still looked pale and somewhat sad, at least not her perky self. “Are you feeling OK? I know taking those souls bothers you, makes you sick. How does it feel when they enter besides the nausea?”

He wasn’t sure she was going to answer or not, she was quiet for so long, picking at her food, but she finally responded. “Yes, it’s the sickness as if my body is trying to reject the souls, but being the Dragonborn forces them inside of me. Their rage dies down after a while, but I can still feel them. Their language fills my head too and sometimes I have to remind myself what language I speak. I suppose the positive out of all this is I get some of their powers. The more I can gain, the better chance I have at defeating the great black dragon.”

“Aye, but at what cost?”

“We all knew there would be a cost, Mr. Vorstag.”

The girl was right. There would be a cost, but she was going to be the one paying for it. For every soul she absorbed, the girl was growing not just in power, but in age. It was forcing her to grow up too fast.

Lucinia crawled into his bed while Anaka was sleeping in the other. It woke Vorstag up, but he moved over to let her in, lifting the covers for her. The closest thing they had to sharing a bed was on the floor that night of their first kiss, and that night in the tent, but that was before. This was the third, but he didn’t question it. The mercenary was tired and didn’t mind holding her while they slept.

Cold hands slipped under his tunic as he shivered, goosebumps traveled across his flesh and opened one irritable eye. Lucinia’s eyes were shut, but a smile tugged at her lips. She loved her little torments, but he kind of liked them too. Kissing her forehead, the mercenary pulled her into him, as they tangled their limbs and fell asleep.

The dragon’s roar filled Vorstag’s stomach with knots, not just for himself, but for Anaka. It hadn’t been a day before they had to deal with another dragon. _Shit._ They had been through the barren landscape of Eastmarch before and had not encountered a dragon, but maybe the dragons hadn’t risen yet. 

He pulled out his bow and Anaka did the same while Lucinia conjured hers. They could hear the dragon, but not see it. With their bows ready and arrows nocked, they had their eyes to the sky. 

There it was, the ugly beast flying around at the highest peak in the land of rock and hot springs. It wasn’t long before the creature spotted them as well, flying in their direction. 

“Get ready!” he yelled.

As soon as it flew overhead, attempting to blast them with ice. It was the first dragon they faced that didn’t want to burn them to death. Vorstag had no idea they had different abilities. He just assumed they all breathed fire. Lucinia and Anaka lobbed fireballs at the creature but missed. It was too fast. Fire would be a perfect weapon against an ice breathing dragon.

Anaka used her stagger shout that had the creature tumbling in the air and crashed to the ground. Before it could recuperate and since Anaka couldn’t freeze it, Vorstag attacked it with his sword, wounding it while the women pelted it with fire. The mercenary spent more time dodging the creature than injuring it, avoiding its snapping jaws and flinging of its tail. Just when he thought he had a clean shot of its underbelly, Vorstag’s body went flying against the stones, knocking the wind out of him. He was sure one of them yelled out his name, but his ears were ringing. 

His back was in pain and screaming at him as he tried to sit up. This dragon wasn’t as easy as the last two. Picking up his sword, he staggered back to the creature, but Anaka was too close! “Ana!”

The girl looked to be about eaten and when the dragon snapped its jaws at her to gobble her up, her body became less solid and all the creature ate was air. In its confusion, Anaka rolled under it, pressed her hand to its stomach, and conjured a sword, twisting it. The creature tried to fly away, but it only managed to wound it further. Lucinia finished it blasting it in a bath of flames with two hands. The creature screamed then collapsed to the ground, and Anaka rolled out just in time. Panting, she was on her knees as she absorbed yet another soul.

Lucinia ran to him before he had a chance to check on the girl and did a full-body heal. He didn’t realize how injured he was until he heard bones reset, the adrenaline masking his pain. “Thanks,” he muttered through Lucinia’s kisses all over his face. “I’m fine… I’m fine.”

Anaka stood and seemed okay if not a little pale and walked off, climbing the hill to the peak of the dragon’s lair. Lucinia and Vorstag followed closely behind. When they reached the top, there was another Word Wall. The girl absorbed the new word. “Frost Breath,” she said. “I can cause frost damage to enemies. I got the soul, so I can use it immediately.”

“You were amazing,” he said. “You both were. Anaka, your quick thinking conjuring the sword straight into the dragon’s flesh. Very clever of you, though you gave me a near heart attack when you ran right at it.”

Anaka turned around and gave Vorstag a small smile. It was something at least, even if she wasn’t her normal, bouncy self.

Two days later, they reached the peak of the mountain and High Hrothgar to return the Horn of Jurgen Windcaller. Arngeir was there as if expecting them—perhaps he was. 

“You've retrieved the Horn of Jurgen Windcaller. Well done. You have now passed all the trials. Come with me. It is time for us to recognize you fully as Dragonborn,” the Greybeard said.

Vorstag and Lucinia sat down on a stone bench, holding hands as the Greybeards took Anaka away and stood her in the center of the room. 

“You have completed your training, Dragonborn. We would Speak to you. Stand between us, and prepare yourself. Few can withstand the unbridled Voice of the Greybeards. But you are ready.”

If Anaka was afraid, she didn’t show it, her chin lifted high, ready to take whatever the Greybeards were going to do with her. With arms raised, eyes closed, they spoke the language of the dragons at her.

_“Lingrah krosis saraan Strundu'ul, voth nid balaan klov praan nau. Naal Thu'umu, mu ofan nii nu, Dovahkiin, naal suleyk do Kaan, naal suleyk do Shor, ahrk naal suleyk do Atmorasewuth. Meyz nu Ysmir, Dovahsebrom. Dahmaan daar rok.”_

The girl wobbled, shook, and it looked like it hurt, but she stood her ground and took it.

When it was over, Arngeir approached her, a smile on his face. “Dovahkiin. You have tasted the Voice of the Greybeards and passed through unscathed. High Hrothgar is open to you.”

“Thank you, Master,” she said.

It was late and the plan was to stay the night at the temple and head home in the morning. Lucinia and Anaka were asleep from the long day, but Vorstag was restless. He worried about the girl and didn’t know what to do or how to help her if he even could help her. Walking around, he finally found Arngeir meditating in front of a relief in the wall of a dragon.

“Can I talk to you?”

Arngeir stood and faced him, bowing his head. “Of course. What can I do for you, Master Vorstag.”

“It’s Anaka. I’m worried about her. The more she absorbs these dragon souls, it seems the more she loses a bit of herself. At least, that is how it appears to me. They make her sick. I’m not sure what to do about it.”

“They make her sick? Interesting. I have never read that happening. It’s not in any of the literature, anyway. I will look her over in the morning, but I think if it is harming her mentally, emotionally, she will need you, as we spoke about the last time you were here. She will need you and the mage. If she starts to show darkness, make sure to lead her back to the light.”

It wasn’t much help, but it was something. “I will.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! Comments are always welcome and appreciated. <3


	15. Infiltration

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Vorstag and Lucinia have a private celebration for her birthday. Both are growing closer each day, but now they are forced to separate as Vorstag takes Anaka's place in infiltrating the Thalmor Embassy. Even the best-laid plans and can end in disaster.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I try to keep the quests to a minimum and change them up a bit, keeping them short to not bore everyone.

It was Lucinia’s turn to have a birthday, and Vorstag finally found out her age. Willing to risk his balls, he asked her. The mage was older than he thought. At twenty-eight, she looked young, but perhaps because of her stature, not that she was old by any means. The mercenary had the perfect present picked out for her, or so he hoped. It was to be a surprise. He had been saving the gold, and the plan was to have it set up without her noticing, which was no easy feat since she was always nearby. 

Gretga, Jolf, and Anaka involved themselves in the plan, making a birthday lunch for her at his brother’s house. Vorstag only explained to Lucinia he would arrive later, that he had things to do. 

Two men arrived right on time carrying the large item and tucked it in a corner of the cellar. There was enough room to still train, but this space was to be hers alone. Once it was all set up, he headed over to get Lucinia from his brother’s house to show her his surprise. 

Vorstag didn’t understand why his stomach was fluttering so much. He wanted her to like it, but he was entirely too nervous about something as simple as a present. What if she didn’t like it? What if she wanted a pretty dress instead or a necklace? But if he had learned anything from the months he had known Lucinia, it was that the woman wasn’t very frivolous. Sure, she liked dresses and necklaces, but she was happy with just the few things she owned. Although he had a necklace ready, just in case. So he went a bit overboard, but it was her first birthday together and he wanted it to be special.

After lunch, Lucinia and Vorstag walked hand in hand through town, just him and her. He had to beg off everyone so they could be alone.

“Close your eyes and don’t you dare peek,” he said once they were inside the house.

“What in the… Okay, then.”

“No peeking, I mean it.”

“I’m not peeking,” she said, a giggle escaping her lips. “You have me very curious now.”

Vorstag led her down to the cellar with care so she didn’t trip or fall. When they reached the corner, he had her open her eyes.

“Happy birthday, Lucy.”

Lucina had her hands to her mouth, eyes wide in surprise. “Is that for me? Oh, no, this is too much. Why did you spend so much?”

“Do you like it or not?” Vorstag huffed.

Lucinia ran her hands along the painted wood, glass bottles, and the storage shelves next to it. “I love it. It is the most perfect gift I have ever received. I can’t wait to use it.”

Vorstag smiled, watching her caress the alchemy table. The mage worked at Jolf’s house whenever she made potions because she didn’t have a table of her own. Now she did. 

When she turned around her eyes were watery, brightening her already light green eyes. Though tears were forming, a smile tugged at her lips. Lucinia flung herself at him, wrapping her hands around his neck, and pulled him down to pelt his face with kisses. 

“So you hate it, then,” he teased.

“It’s the worst gift ever,” she laughed.

Vorstag pulled her in close to him as she reached up on her toes. Their faces met half-way for a kiss. All his worries were unfounded, deciding to save her necklace for another celebration, holiday, or for no reason at all.

Their kiss started out tame enough, innocent, but the heat built up. His hand wrapped through her thick hair, a hand pressed to the small of her back, that special place with the perfect curve, wanting to slide his hand downward, but not daring to yet. All they had done was kiss, nothing more since their first time. Bu Lucinia had other plans as her hand slid down his body, wrapped around his back, and continued on, hands spreading, grasping his ass. It seemed such a small thing, but it hardened him. Because she pulled him tightly against her, he knew she was able to feel it. She had to. Why was his face heating? No, it was on fire. _You’re not an inexperienced virgin!_ Why was he so stupid around her sometimes? But his body seemed to do what it wanted without regard to what Vorstag desired. 

If he ever wondered when they would make love, he wondered no more. The desire was building too much to stop now. All restraints shattered as he moved his hand up her body, tucked under her breast. She moaned in his mouth as an invitation to push him further, to move his hand upward just a little further. Lucinia wanted it as much as he did. Tongues desperate for touch, their mouths were hungry for each other as their kiss deepened.

Vorstag took the next step, gliding his hand to her breast, cupping, kneading. He had to have her, taste her. With one arm, he lifted her, his fingers trailed and wrapped themselves around the top edge of her dress, the mound of her breast just peeking through. He wanted to yank the fabric down, take her breast in his mouth, but he had to be sure. He looked at her, eyes hooded in lust, her lips swollen from their kiss, fingers tangled and tugging his hair. Yes, she wanted it as much as he did. His curled fingers tucked in her dress pulled the fabric down, her breast spilling out as if it wanted to be caressed, cherished. Vorstag would oblige. 

He lifted her higher, he ran a soft tongue on her nipple. The throbbing between his legs was bordering on painful. Her pleasurable hiss hardened and throbbed in him more. The breast was small, pert, perfect. Lips wrapped around her nipple, he sucked, twirling his tongue, savoring the soft flesh. Her skin smelled faintly of some sort of flower—he needed to learn what—with a slight musk and something else that was pushing him on to the brink of lust. The mercenary had to have the other breast. Just one didn’t satisfy him. 

“Oh!” said a squeaking voice. “Sorry!”

Vorstag and Lucinia were so preoccupied, they didn’t hear Anaka come home. She probably wanted to see the gift but caught them in their lustful moment. He was thankful to all the gods he didn’t believe in that Lucinia’s back was to the stairs and nothing exposed. But they lost the moment in their embarrassment. There was no getting it back now that Anaka was home and caught them.

Anaka ran back upstairs while Vorstag and Lucinia calmed their nerves, breathing, and heart rates. They looked at each other, eyes wide, embarrassed, but soon they burst out laughing. She wrapped her arms around his neck, pulling him down for an innocent kiss. Forehead to forehead, she thanked him for her gift and that she would always love it.

Just over a week later, Delphine reached out to them through a courier with a letter. It wasn’t instructions on what to do other than to meet her in Riverwood. The woman wasn’t stupid enough to reveal her plans just to have them intercepted by the enemy. 

Because going to Riverwood wasn’t dangerous, Halof insisted on coming with them, wanting to be with Anaka. Jolf and Gretga reluctantly agreed he could go because the boy was diligent in his training, practicing with his sword every day. 

After much arguing, Vorstag gave up and allowed the boy to ride with Anaka on Bubbles. It was too much touching for his liking, but it seemed everyone was dead set against him and he lost the argument. The girl’s arms wrapped around Halof’s waist as he steered the horse, both of them blissfully content with the arrangement. Though riding with Lucinia wasn’t unpleasant.

His nephew was a handsome boy. He looked similar to Jolf and Vorstag with the red hair, but his eyes were a rich brown color—his mother’s eyes—his features sharpening as he got older, losing the chubbiness commonly found in younger children. It was no wonder Anaka was smitten. Vorstag had to admit the boy was good to her, so far.

When they arrived at the Sleeping Giant Inn, Delphine eyed the boy with suspicion, questioning why he was there at all. Before Vorstag said anything, Anaka came forward to inform Delphine that it was her decision, that her visions told her Halof was to be a large part of her life. 

Delphine shrugged and explained to them what her plans were, finding a way inside the embassy. “I’ve figured out how we’re going to get you into the Thalmor Embassy.”

“Anaka is not going into a nest of vipers. I will go in her stead,” Vorstag insisted.

“Whatever, as long as we get the job done. But I agree, it would be better if a child wasn’t involved. It is too important.”

At least Anaka remained quiet with the veiled insult, but Vorstag sensed her bristling at Delphine’s comment. Halof wasn’t faring much better. He could tell the boy wanted to say something in Anaka’s defense, but the girl silently held him back.

“So what is your plan?” Vorstag asked.

“The Thalmor ambassador, Elenwen, regularly throws parties where the rich cozy up to the Thalmor. I can get you into one of those parties. Once you’re inside the Embassy, slip out and find Elenwen’s secret files. I have a contact inside the Embassy. He’s not up for this kind of high-risk mission, but he can help you. His name’s Malborn, a Wood elf, with plenty of reason to hate the Thalmor. You can trust him. I’ll get word for him to meet you in Solitude, at the Winking Skeever—you know it?”

Vorstag nodded. “Yes, I’m familiar. I spent many years in Solitude.”

“Good. While you’re doing that, I’ll work on getting you an invitation to Elenwen’s little party. Meet me at the Solitude stables after you’ve arranged things with Malborn. Do you have any questions?”

“How will this Malborn help me?” he asked.

“He will explain to you all that you need to do once you are inside the embassy without Elenwen noticing,” Delphine explained.

“When do we do this?”

“The party is four days from now, so I suggest you get going to Solitude, meet with Malborn, and then meet me at the stables outside of the city gates.”

Since they were bypassing Whiterun altogether, Vorstag sent word to Jolf and Gretga that he was taking Halof to Solitude with them, which he didn’t want. Not that anyone cared what he thought. It would be safe since the mercenary was the only one taking the risks. The kids could explore the big city while he was infiltrating the embassy. 

That night, they made camp in the moors outside of Falkreath Hold. The evening was cold but clear. Vorstag wanted to bunk with Lucinia, but he wasn’t about to let the boy share a tent with Anaka, so he would make the boy share the tent with him. At least Halof and Anaka didn’t complain and had the brains enough to know they were still too young for that.

Halof took it upon himself to hunt for their dinner, probably to prove himself—not to his uncle—to Anaka. The mercenary fought the urge to go with his nephew, but he knew the boy would resent it and hoped nothing happened to him. When the boy came back with four rabbits, enough for all of them, and didn’t have a mark on him. He hated to admit he worried about his nephew despite what a pain in the ass he was.

“Well done. Jolf must have taught you to hunt at a young age to do so well,” Vorstag said, giving the boy credit where it was due.

“Yes, I picked up a bow when I was around Wilhelm’s age. He will learn soon too.”

Not only was Anaka impressed with Halof’s hunting skills, but it impressed the boy she knew how to skin and gut animals for her meal. Both of them lost in admiration for each other, and Vorstag winced at the sweetness of it all. _Was I ever that stupid around girls when I was growing up? Probably. Shit, I’m that stupid around Lucinia most of the time._

“You look like you at something rancid, mercenary. Are the two love bugs over there making you ill?” Lucinia teased as she so often did, always laughing at his expense.

“I was just wondering if I was ever that… nauseatingly sweet,” he whispered so the kids couldn’t hear him.

“Yes, can’t have the big and bad mercenary being sweet, can we?”

“I prefer acidic,” he retorted. “They just seem so young.”

“Didn’t you say you were Halof’s age when you fell head over heels with his mother?” 

“Maybe that’s why I’m so resistant to the idea. Perhaps I should just get over it, though I still don’t want them doing anything beyond a kiss.”

“You’re nauseatingly sweet yourself, you know,” she said, giving him a peck on the cheek.

“Never. I’m bitter, cold, and a bastard,” he laughed.

“Hmm, but you’re my cold, bitter bastard.”

_Hers. He is hers_. The thought made him smile and nervous at the same time.

Lucinia and Anaka headed into their tent to sleep, leaving Vorstag and Halof alone. He wished the boy would go to sleep too, leaving him alone with his thoughts. Being alone was a rare treat these days, living with Anaka and Lucinia. He missed it.

Vorstag eyed the boy, wondering what was with the stare down he was getting. “What?”

“Do you hate me?” the boy asked, looking insecure, but was doing his best to hide it.

The mercenary softened. “I don’t hate you at all. I’m… just not used to children, and I’m still getting to know you all. I’ve been alone a long time, and it’s just an adjustment. I like you well enough, Halof. You seem smart, a quick learner, and you can hunt… you’re nice to Anaka. Besides, I thought it was you who was doing the hating. I’m fairly certain you told me that.”

“I don’t hate you. I was mad that you don’t like Anaka and I together.”

“You’re not together. You’re… I suppose you are. I’m not against it. I just feel you are too young, both of you. We’ve had this talk already.”

“Yes, we talked, but I don’t know… I guess I want your approval or something, Uncle.”

That surprised Vorstag, not knowing why the boy cared what he thought. “I didn’t know I had a say in the matter since you, Anaka and Lucinia seem to overrule me on this issue.”

A smile grew on Halof’s face, but then grew serious. “I love her,” he whispered, not wanting Anaka to hear.

Vorstag groaned inwardly. “You don’t know what love is. You’re only fifteen and she’s fourteen. How many months have you known each other? Not enough of them.”

“I know how I feel. You can’t tell me how I should and shouldn’t feel.”

“I’m not trying to be an ass, but I know from experience that adolescent love can hurt. I don’t want to see you or Anaka hurt in all this. She is the Dragonborn, as we talked about, and has a heavy weight on her shoulders. If you hurt her, it will crush her and she won’t be able to focus. Just… save those thoughts for another time. Let her get through this.”

“I just want your approval, Uncle. I’m not asking her to marry me or anything… one day, maybe.”

Vorstag sighed and nodded. “You have it then. Eventually, you’re going to have to get the approval from her father as well.” If the boy was in love, there was nothing he could do about it. He just hoped Anaka wouldn’t get hurt in the process. “Come on. Let’s get some rest.”

When they stood, Halof pulled his uncle into an embrace, the first one since they met. Vorstag couldn’t help but smile, feeling like he accomplished something, but not knowing what exactly.

Because Vorstag didn’t want anyone tied to Malborn, Delphine’s contact in Solitude, he sent them all off to shop or explore, away from the Winking Skeever. If anyone was going to get caught, it would be him. 

The plan was that the mercenary was to give Malborn all the equipment he would need to infiltrate the embassy. He had to hand him over his bow, arrows, sword and armor. There was no way he could bring those items in with him. The embassy was heavily guarded, and no one went in with weapons. Malborn would smuggle in the gear since he worked at the embassy serving drinks. Once it was safe for Vorstag to slip away from the party, Malborn would sneak him into the kitchens to grab his gear. After that, the mercenary was on his own. He had no choice but to trust the Bosmer.

He handed the elf all that he would need and left to find Lucinia, Halof, and Anaka. There was no time to waste. He had to meet Delphine at the stables to grab his invitation. Once he found them, he explained what the plan was. 

“I have to leave now. You all stay here, have fun, and I will be back as soon as I can. If I don’t return by tomorrow, well... you go home without me. Don’t stay here to get caught, don’t risk coming to get me.”

“But…”

“No ‘buts,’ Lucy. I mean it. You all are too important. Do not risk your lives for me. Promise me.”

When they all promised, they followed him down to the stables just outside of the city. He tried to stop them, but they insisted on waiting there for him the entire time. Since Vorstag was overruled once more, he gave in, as always. He wondered if he would ever have a say. 

It wasn’t yet dusk when he saw Delphine waiting, tucked away near the stables. She came out when she saw Vorstag approach.

“Are you all set with Malborn?” she asked.

“Yes, I’m ready.”

“Good, I have your invitation to the party. But the only way you’re going to get past the guards is if they really believe you’re an invited guest. Which means you need to look the part and not be armed to the teeth. Here, put this on.” Delphine handed him a stack of clothes and a pair of fine leather boots. 

“Fancy,” he muttered in disgust. He hid behind the stables and changed his clothes, handing Lucinia everything he didn’t already give Malborn.

“Hmm, I guess that will have to do. You should pass for a proper guest, at least until you open your mouth. Ready to board the carriage to the embassy?”

“Give me a moment,” he said and turned to face Lucinia, Anaka, and Halof, all of whom had worried looks on their faces. “I will be fine—In and out.”

Anaka and Halof gave him reassuring hugs. Lucinia pulled his face down for a kiss and held him. “You look quite handsome, mercenary. Make sure those ladies don’t flirt with you because I hate feeling jealous. I don’t want to have to hunt them down.”

“None of them would ever compare to you,” he said, tucking curls behind her ear.

“The things you say. Please be careful... please,” she said.

“I will be back before you know it.”

“Take these.” Lucinia handed Vorstag three bottles of potions. They didn’t look like anything he was familiar with.

“What are these?”

“I have been working on these for a while, perfecting them. They will make you invisible for a short period. You only have three, so use them only if you’re desperate. I have tested out my formula and they work.”

“You made these for me?”

“Yes, now please be careful.”

He kissed her once more and hopped on the carriage to take him to the embassy, which wasn’t far from Solitude.

Vorstag looked back as he rode away, it was a strange feeling to see people worried and caring about him. He never had that before, not since he left home all those years ago. It gave him a sense of warmth, but it also made him fear he was going to let them all down.

It didn’t take more than thirty minutes to reach the embassy. The building was aglow with torchlight. Most of the guests seemed to have already arrived as it was quiet outside except for one guest, a Redguard, drunk, trying to get in as he dug in his pockets looking for his invitation. Finally digging it out of his coat, he handed it to the Thalmor guard and went in.

Vorstag had his invitation ready and was allowed inside the embassy with no trouble. Breathing a sigh of relief that it was easy, but he didn’t get cocky. It was just one less thing to worry about. 

Inside was festive with nobles from across Skyrim and other guests in their finest clothes. The mercenary saw Malborn behind a bar serving drinks and gave him an imperceptible nod. Before he could do anything, he was greeted by the hostess, Elenwen herself. Malborn interrupted the meeting to distract the woman, so Vorstag wouldn’t screw things up. 

He grabbed a drink, he pretended to take a sip to fit in. He walked around the room, seeking, searching for a way to cause a distraction. There were too many people otherwise to just slip out unnoticed, especially since Elenwen introduced herself. She would notice him leaving, plus the guards needed their attention averted.

The drunk Redguard was sitting on a bench pouting, not talking to anyone. Vorstag sat next to him as they introduced themselves. Perhaps he could convince the drunk to do him a favor. 

“What’s wrong? It looks like you could use a drink,” the mercenary said, clapping the man on the back— _Best of pals._

“My friend, you are very perceptive! I have a powerful thirst that cannot be slaked! And none of the waiters will bring me a drink, Elenwen must have told them to cut me off, the frigid bitch. Afraid I’ll cause another scene, I suppose…”

_Perfect._ If this man was prone to making scenes, Vorstag would help the man out. He left saying nothing and had Malborn pour him an extra drink then returned, handing it to the man.

“Ah, the one generous soul amongst a gathering of pinch-pennies and lick-spittles! If there’s anything I can ever do for you, do not hesitate to call upon me!”

_Lick-spittles?_ Vorstag’s lips twitched in a smile. “It is my pleasure, but now that you mention it. I could use some help.” With little convincing, the Redguard stood and started making vulgar comments about Elenwen. Vorstag couldn’t have asked for a better distraction, sorry he would miss the look on the Ambassador’s face.

Malborn took his cue and led Vorstag through the kitchen. In a storage room, there was a chest with all of Vorstag’s gear in it. “I admit, I was a tad worried my gear wouldn’t be here.”

Malborn opened a secret door and ushered the mercenary through. “You’re on your own from here.”

Vorstag nodded and thanked the elf. Upon entering, he heard two guards speaking in the next room. As soon as they mentioned they were going back to their duties, he readied himself, pulling out his dagger instead of his sword. He had to kill them and hide their bodies to buy him time, not knowing how long it would take to find Elenwen’s files. 

He snuck up to a guard from behind, then grabbed the man’s mouth tightly to silence him and sliced his throat with the knife. He pulled the body and hid it behind crates in another room. He found the other guard walking and did the same thing. There didn’t seem to be anywhere else to go, so he headed out of the building. Ducking down behind a stone wall, he could see several guards outside, and across the way was another building. That had to be where he needed to go—there were way too many guards. The protection was overkill, so it had to be the place.

He had to be quick in deciding what to do. Vorstag couldn’t just rush in there like a rabid wolf. Pulling out a bottle from his pack, he downed it and crossed his fingers it worked, though he knew Lucinia wouldn’t let him down. Sure enough, not even he could see himself. He didn’t know how long it would last, so he rushed in silence to the next building, slipping by the Thalmor standing guard. He picked up a stone and threw it across the garden to draw the elf away. There was no way to open the door to the Solar without being noticed.

With the Thalmor distracted, Vorstag slipped inside, shutting the door behind him. More voices coming from an office. Once his body reappeared, he ducked behind a large chair. _One, two guards, more elves inside the office. But how many?_ Killing them would draw a lot of attention—more than he could handle. The mercenary had two bottles of the potion left, but he took the risk and downed the other. 

He found Elenwen’s chest full of files and rifled through them to make sure he got the right ones. Satisfied, he shoved them in his pack. _So far, so good. Now to get out of here_.

Vorstag was visible again, but he found some stairs leading to a cellar or other rooms. It was better to go that way instead of returning the way he came. The door to his escape was locked, so he pulled out some lock picks and after a few tries, opened the door. The steps led further down into not a cellar, but a dungeon. Ducking around the corner, there was an elven guard and in a cell was a bleeding, bare-chested man hanging from shackles. 

He killed the guard and opened the cell to help the man. Maybe he could direct Vorstag on how to get out of there. Shuffling through the keys from the dead guard, it took several tries, but Vorstag unshackled the man and eased him down. “You’re okay. Why do they have you here?”

“I am not… sure. They wanted… information on some… old man in… Riften… Esbern or something.”

“Esbern?” That was the man Vorstag was supposed to find. “What about him?”

“He’s hiding in Riften. Thieves Guild… protecting him, but… I don’t know where or how…” 

“Let’s get you out of here,” he said, giving the man a health potion. He couldn’t carry him.

As soon as Vorstag lifted the wounded man to his feet, they stopped to find several Thalmor with a dagger at Malborn’s throat. _Shit._

“Stop right there or this elf dies.”

Vorstag pulled out his bow to fire, but it was too late. The Thalmor killed the Wood Elf, dropping him unceremoniously to the ground. In his anger, he fired a shot that killed one of them, but blackness consumed him, the pain not even registering as he dropped to the ground.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! Comments are appreciated and welcome


	16. Breaking Promises

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nothing good ever comes out of being captured by the Thalmor and Vorstag is going to find out how bad it can get. Fortunately, he has those that care about him and do whatever it takes to get him back.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There is NSFW content towards the end of the capture.

He woke up with a start, the freezing water shocking his system to high alert. The gasp of air forced him to inhale some water down the wrong way causing him to choke and cough. When his coughs died down, Vorstag was greeted with a pounding headache, no doubt from being knocked out. When he shifted his body, he discovered he was hanging from the wall by his wrists, and looking down, he saw he was stripped of clothes. He cursed himself for not noticing the guard behind him. That failure was on him. 

As his eyes came into focus, he saw a Thalmor Justiciar in front of him. He was the same one he saw in the Solar when he was grabbing documents. He cursed inwardly again and searched for the other man he was with. Looking over in the next cell, a sadness hit Vorstag seeing the man he tried to save dead. He tried to reassure himself the man would have died regardless if Vorstag never found him, but helping him escape just sped up the process.

Vorstag felt his face being jerked forward, the Thalmor grasping his chin. “Let us get started, shall we? My name is Rulindil. I will be your interrogator today.” The bastard elf acted like they had an appointment to get tailored for clothes.

The mercenary stayed silent, his mind whirling, trying to find a way out of this mess through his stabbing headache. He already knew what they wanted from him and what they would do to him if he didn’t answer. It would be the same if he did answer. The dead man in the next cell was proof of that.

“Let us start with something easy. Your name, please.”

_Silence._

“Ah, the silent type. You think by being stoic makes you stronger, I assure you, it does not. We have our ways to make you… loosen that tongue of yours.” Rulindil nodded to a guard who sent a wave of electricity coursing through his body. It was only for a few seconds, but it was enough. Vorstag accidentally bit his tongue, tasting the blood in his mouth, and spat at the Thalmor’s feet, who tsked him but did nothing else. If he had Lucinia’s amulet still on him, it would have been less painful, if at all. Unfortunately, the Thalmor took that as well.

“Name,” the Justiciar said again.

Vorstag wasn’t going to tell them anything. If a word slipped out about what he was doing, he was afraid it would lead to Anaka, Lucinia and Halof. They were better off if he died. He knew it would be painful, but he had to keep it together until they gave up or he was dead. The girl was too important—more than his own life. He tried not to think of Lucinia at all. Thoughts of her may break his will, but he was grateful he came by himself and they didn’t fight him on it.

_Silence_.

“You Nords are a stubborn bunch, brutish, I will give you that. I have broken even the strongest of Nords and you will be no different,” the Thalmor shrugged. “Again, but longer this time.”

The mercenary gritted his teeth, trying not to bite his tongue off. Just when he thought he couldn’t take any more pain, it stopped. His head drooped, cold from the water, but sweating too. His heart felt like it was going to burst straight through his chest. The guard yanked his head up by his hair forcing Vorstag to look at the Thalmor who sat down in a chair, crossed his legs, and steepled fingers under his chin in thought. He was a man who had all the time in the world.

Rulindil pulled out the dossiers Vorstag stole, holding them up. “Tell me. Why do you have these? The only answer I can come up with is that you are in league with our enemy, the Blades. I thought we wiped them out, though admittedly, a couple slipped through our fingers. If you are collaborating with them, that makes you our enemy.”

“You are everyone’s enemy,” he said with a calmness he didn’t feel. Vorstag was not about to give the Thalmor anything, even his emotions. All they could have was his pain.

“Ah, so you can speak. I was beginning to think you were a dumb mute. Are you in league with the Blades?”

_Silence._

This time it was fire, and this time he screamed as his skin blistered. It was only for a few seconds, but it was enough to cause extensive damage on his arm. He would accept what they gave him—suffer the pain. Lucinia, Anaka, and Halof alive were all that mattered, so he would suffer. It was worth it to keep the Thalmor’s evil hands away from those he cared about.

“Bring the tools, please,” Rulindil called out to another guard.

She was so beautiful laughing. He loved it when she giggled. Lucinia was life and light. She was chasing butterflies again and he wondered if she did it just because it was fun or she really wanted their little wings for alchemical potions. Perhaps the show was just for him. The light showed through her frizzy curls as dusk arrived, creating an orange halo around her head. She looked magical—she was magical. 

Lifting his hand, he reached for her, telling her to come to him, but he couldn’t hear his own voice. Lucinia grasped his hand as he pulled her to him. She curled up beside him on the blanket he laid out in the tall grass. Pushing her gently on to her back, she looked up at him with humor and love in her pale eyes. Vorstag didn’t know why she was wearing a shift outside, but he didn’t care. There was no one around. He was already shirtless himself as she dragged gentle fingernails through his auburn chest hair, then her hand reached up to touch his face, caressing fingers as he looked down at her. 

Vorstag wondered where she had been all his life as he bent down to kiss her, moaning under her sweet and plump lips. She opened her mouth in invitation for his tongue. Yes, he needed to taste her tongue, like honey and sugar. She liked to eat pastries. 

He grew bold with every second that passed, tasting each others’ lips as his hand slid down between her legs, feeling her warmth emitting through the thin fabric of her shift. His throat rumbled in a groan. How long had he wanted to touch down there? Bolder he became as he lifted her shift up and up exposing her, his hand slipped between her legs, ready for him. _Not yet. Not yet_. He hungered to have a breast in his mouth. Looking down again, he was confused to find them both naked. He didn’t remember removing their clothes. Lucinia touched his face again, drawing him back to her. They were flesh against flesh as she squirmed under him to his touches.

His lips moved to her throat, kissing the little pulse beating furiously there, the lifeforce to her heart. One hand on her breast, kissing, licking, he eased inside her—filling her. It was better than he imagined it to be and he imagined it frequently during lonely nights. Lucinia arched into him, forcing him deeper, grasping his body closer knowing she felt what he did. The power of their union was almost more than they could handle. 

Despite her small frame, she managed to roll them over, with her on top. Yes, he liked this. He could see her better, have two hands free to touch her. As the heat built up, for him and her, the intensity of their pleasure and movements intensified. Her head rolled back behind her, arms out as a storm started to blow in, the dusky oranges and pinks turning gray and black. The wind blew her hair to and fro, but she kept moving, not noticing the danger that was surrounding them. She laughed as lightning crashed and thunder boomed. 

Vorstag tried to pull her to him, protect her, but she wouldn’t move or stop. A gust of wind the likes he had never seen, a cyclone, whisked Lucinia away from him, yanking him out of her. He reached out to her, calling. The look of terror on her face filled him with fear. He stood calling her, running, but she was being taken away from him. The wind was too fast, too strong.

“Vorstag!” she called out to him, panic in her voice. 

“No! Come back!” he yelled, finally finding his voice.

Lightning struck him down and he fell, writhing in pain as the electricity coursed through him. He had lost her, he had lost her. The pain soon grew unbearable, burning, sharp stabbing pains, head throbbing... 

“He wakes!” said a voice.

“Vorstag!”

A warmth spread through his body like a warm and healing bath. The stabbing and throbbing pain was subsiding, but it wasn’t going completely away. Better, better, but not gone.

“I’m out… I… I don’t have any more left,” she sobbed.

His vision cleared and saw Lucinia, eyes streaming with tears, lip quivering. Vorstag reached up to touch her face as she sobbed.

“I didn’t... tell them… not a word. You’re... safe.”

“Look around for his gear, both of you. He might have some healing potions in his pack.”

Lucinia grabbed his hand and kissed it, brushing his sweaty hair, or was it blood, back from his face, and kissed his forehead. “You’re going to be okay now. We are going to get you home.”

“I found his things, but there aren’t any healing potions. We need to take him to Solitude to rest—get him a room at the Winking Skeever and I will go out and get potions to restore your Magicka and heal him.”

“They did so much damage to him. I...I didn’t have enough in me.”

“Shhh, Lucy. It’s OK. Let’s get him dressed and out of here. He’s going to be fine.”

“We aren’t going to get him anywhere unless he can walk. I can’t even do my telekinesis spell to move him.” 

Vorstag heard the panic in Lucinia’s voice, but Anaka's was full of confidence—a leader.

“You broke… your promise,” he managed to get out as realization hit that he wasn’t in a dream.

“Of course, I did, you idiot. Do you really believe we would leave you here to die?” Lucinia said, nearly yelling in her anguish.

“Only you… and… Anaka… Halof matter.”

“Fuck you!”

Lucinia must have been furious enough to curse. She never swore unless she was irate. He tried to cock an eyebrow, but even that hurt.

“Help me get him dressed.”

Vorstag pushed away grabbing hands. “No… I… I can do it. Help… help me up... Water,” he pleaded. Someone thrust a waterskin at him and he gulped the water in near desperation—so thirsty.

He felt hands push him up and lift him upright. Vorstag knew it couldn’t be easy as big as he was. He was lucid enough to know they would never get out of there if they had to carry him. Pulling energy from deep reserves, he sat up, nausea nearly pulling him back down, but he forced himself to suffer it. If Lucinia hadn’t filled him with healing, he would be dead. His wounds must have been too vast if she couldn’t fully heal him.

There was too much pain to be embarrassed about his nudity as he struggled to get dressed. Everything that touched his skin made him want to scream, but with help, he was clothed in a tunic and breeches, unable to wear armor.

“Where… where are they? I… they will… find us.”

“They are dead. One was… well, he’s dead. There may be others, but none close by. There’s a secret way out.”

On his knees now, dressed, boots on, Vorstag looked up to see all the worried faces. Lucinia, Anaka, Halof… even Delphine was there— _surprising_.

The mercenary felt hands lifting him, holding him upright. A wave of dizziness hit him, but he held it together. All the pain and feeling everyone surrounding him, protecting him left him strangely emotional, as he took a shuddered breath, feeling a tear slip, but he choked it back. It didn’t help to listen to the continuous sniffling from Lucinia. Anaka, who was usually weepy, was stoic, calm, and growing up too fast. Halof was also holding it together. Delphine looked uninterested at best—protecting her investment.

“Getting him down is going to be the hardest part,” Delphine said.

“We will figure it out,” Lucinia replied.

Halof ran off and quickly returned with a ladder. “Can you climb down, Uncle Vorstag?”

“I don’t... think I have much choice, nephew. I guess… it’s better than dropping on my… head.”

It was slow-going, but Vorstag managed to get down the ladder without falling. Everything in his body screamed in pain, not remembering most of his torture. At least he was healed enough so that they didn’t have to carry him, though he knew they would try had he not been able to walk.

“You shouldn’t have…” he started to say.

Lucinia huffed. “Shut… up!”

One arm draped over Halof and another around Lucinia, they guided him out of the small cave. When they finally exited, it was evening. The air was blessedly fresh and he took a deep breath. 

“Now that you’re alive, I have to go. I took a big risk coming here. Before I do, though, did you find anything?”

“Now’s not the time, Delphine,” Lucinia spat.

“Did you find anything,” the woman asked, ignoring her.

“Esbern… yes, in Riften… hiding.”

“Riften? Good. I will come up with a plan to get him. When you are recovered, meet me in Riverwood and we can discuss what you found if anything.”

They helped Vorstag get on Snowball, Lucinia climbing in front of him so he could lean into her. Anaka and Halof rode on Bubbles, following to Solitude. 

“Hang on, mercenary. Please don’t fall off. I’m too small to sit you in front of me.”

“I won’t fall.”

So Vorstag wouldn’t have to walk up the long hill to the city from the stables, they dropped him off while Halof took the horses back. Anaka and Lucinia helped him walk into the Winking Skeever, ignoring the stares from people, where they already had a room. 

“I’m going to get some potions for you and him,” Anaka said once they got him into the bed. It was still early enough in the evening that most shops were still open.

“Thank you, sweetheart.”

Lucinia turned her attention back to Vorstag. “Now, we have to get you back out of these clothes. I will clean the blood off while we wait on Anaka,” she said. She busied herself, pouring water from the pitcher into a bowl, grabbing a towel that she tore into strips. Her face was stressed, tight as he watched her distract herself.

“Come here,” he said.

“No, I have to gather everything, clean you up.”

“Lucy…”

“What!”

“It can wait for a minute. Anaka will be back soon, and you will make me as good as new. Come here, please.”

Lucinia sat on the side of the bed, hardly able to look at his face. It was probably bruised and battered, but that wasn’t the only reason. She looked as if she was trying to hold it all in before she exploded. Vorstag tugged at her, trying to get her to lie with him, but was too weak. “Please… lie down with me,” he said, grabbing her hand.

“You stink,” she said, deflecting, but laid down beside him as he wrapped an arm around her. 

“I am sure,” he chuckled, though not too much. Even a small laugh hurt.

“You scared me, you know.”

“I know I did. It was a little terrifying on my end too.”

“How… How can someone suffer so much?”

“The only thing that kept me going was knowing you, Anaka and Halof were safe. I accepted my fate… it made it somewhat bearable. You promised me you wouldn’t come back, Lucy. I can’t say I’m not grateful, but… you risked your life and that of Anaka and Halof.”

“Screw you. If you think we wouldn't come for you, then you’re a fool.”

“I suppose I am.”

Vorstag must have dozed off because the knock on the door woke him up. Lucinia grabbed the potions from Anaka and sent the girl back to their room. She was back on the bed and fed him two healing potions. When he was done, she drank down two Magicka potions and set about fully healing him. The warm glow filled every cell in his body. Any broken bones that weren’t previously healed, reset. He could feel swelling reduce and the pain subside. It wasn’t long before he felt almost normal again. Normal that is except for pure exhaustion.

Before he fell asleep, they removed his clothes so Lucinia could clean up the blood. It wasn’t long before he dozed to her gentle touches.

Morning broke through the windows, waking him up as the light streamed in. Vorstag tried to move but saw Lucinia curled up around him, still sleeping. He felt new, whole, thanks to her, and kissed her forehead. She must have been exhausted because she barely stirred under his movements. He wondered if she was awake all night watching over him. Something forced its way into his mind and heart when he watched her. It was a culmination of feelings he couldn’t fully grasp or understand. It was strong and scared him a little. 

As he sat up it soon dawned on him that it was Lucinia in his room and not Halof. _Crap_. They left the two damned teenage love birds alone. He didn’t admit to himself it was a good distraction from what happened the day before. Pulling on his breeches, he left towards Anaka’s room and stormed in, ready to throttle Halof. While Anaka was in her bed sleeping, Halof was dozing, stretched out by combining two chairs—a gentleman. His intrusion didn’t wake them, so he left back to his room.

Since he was up, he threw on his tunic and headed downstairs to purchase a bath. He still had blood on him and reeked from the nervous sweat that covered him while he was tortured. 

The lavender-infused water did him a world of good. He felt almost whole again—whole except his mind and heart. He had been beaten before in fistfights but never had he suffered as he did with the Thalmor. He understood the fear people held for them. They were experts at it and they nearly broke him. His only consolation was they failed to do so. He took all that they gave him. 

He thought he was dead, but the dream—the dream of making love to Lucinia, feeling these overwhelming emotions for her he couldn’t describe, watching her get swept away from him. He couldn’t catch her, reach her, her terrified eyes. Then to wake up to her sobbing face and all the pain he endured. Being half-dead in her arms, her face in pain, love, worry… all of it hit him full-force, and soon found himself crying. He wept at all the emotions he felt towards Lucinia to his torture, his anger at her for not keeping her promise, to relief finding he wasn’t dead, that they saved him. He didn’t just weep; he sobbed. Vorstag hadn’t cried like that since he lost his sister. Never in his life since then had he felt so helpless.

When he felt calm enough, Vorstag dried and got dressed. He ordered some tea, fruit, and bread, bringing up to the room. Lucinia was still sleeping when he went in and set the tray down on the table. He wanted to go to her, curl up in bed with her. Instead, he sat at the table, poured himself some tea, and watched her sleep. He was a bundle of nerves, still filled with confusing emotions. If he held her, he was afraid he would cry again.

Lucinia must have sensed him staring, waking up. He watched her stretch and yawn. She looked at peace, relaxed, well, that was until she fully woke up. He could see the memories of the night before coming back to her. Her calm face was replaced with worry and stress. She looked around, then settled on his face across the room.

“You look better, though you could stand to sleep more,” she said.

Vorstag didn’t say anything, not trusting himself to, as she plodded over to him, curling up in his lap. He wrapped his arms around her, burying his face in her neck. She had that familiar smell of flowers he kept forgetting to ask her about. His throat constricted from emotions, feeling his eyes water, as he inhaled her, but he shoved it deep down inside and locked it away. Soon he could feel her body shaking in quiet sobs, threatening his own composure he fought so hard to contain.

“It’s okay,” he said. The words were inadequate, but it was all he could say and keep it together.

When she calmed down, he had her sit in the other chair and poured her some tea and a plate of fruit and bread. 

“Why did you… no, I’m not going to ask that. You will just rip me a new one.” Vorstag was trying to make her smile, but it rang flat, both of them tired and emotionally drained. “How did you find me?”

Lucinia took a shuddered breath to calm herself. “Delphine helped. She knew of the cave that led to the embassy. We saw that it led to the dungeon, but we had to find a way to get to you. The woman tried to talk us out of it, not wanting to risk her own hide, but we were going with or without her. I guess she decided to protect her source of information.” 

Lucinia blew on her tea and took a sip. “Mara’s mercy, Vorstag, that girl is getting stronger by the day. We reached the cave and deeper in was an ice troll. None of us ever fought one, but Anaka just drew her fire, lit up her sword, and flung the creature with her voice. She killed the thing all on her own. I think it was in part due to you. We were all so worried.”

Vorstag nodded in understanding. He watched as Anaka quickly grew and evolved. She was going to be a force to be reckoned with. “She’s growing so fast.”

“You went through the cave, you saw it, though maybe you were still out of it. We had to climb up the rocks to reach the hatch in the ceiling. It wasn’t locked, but there were heavy crates on top. I used a spell to move them aside ever so gently. It took time because who knew what was on the other side. Once the hatch was clear, I popped up my head and you were right there, Vorstag. You were right in front of me, hanging there, bl… bleeding, blood was everywhere. They were… oh, Gods, they were hurting you… your… your screams...”

Lucinia’s tears spilled at the memory, but she took a deep breath to calm down and tell her story. “I’m not going to tell you how bad you looked. I was so angry… I don’t think I ever felt that angry before. The Thalmor are powerful mages. I wanted to kill them, burn them to death, I… Well, I didn’t. I brought Anaka up to use her shouts. When they were dazed, all of us attacked them. Killed them. They deserved all of it!”

She lifted her tea with shaking hands and took another sip. “I don’t think I ever felt that kind of rage. Once they were dead, we checked to make sure there were no other guards or Thalmor and I fused the lock with fire so no one could get in, at least not with a key, to give us time to heal you. I… I couldn’t heal you enough. You were so… hurt. Well, you know the rest.”

Seeing the pain in Lucinia almost broke him of his resolve. He didn’t want to think about it anymore. “I almost got out. I was so close. They found me and they had the Wood Elf who helped me get in and get my gear. They didn’t waste a moment killing him. These Thalmor… they… they take pleasure giving pain.” It was Vorstag’s turn to take a shuddered breath. 

When he felt calm enough, he continued. “There was a man there I set free who knew about Esbern. He was with me and we were going to escape together. It was my fault. I should have suspected one of them would come up behind me, but I was distracted by the killing. They hit me from behind and lights out. I woke up to…”

Lunicina was picking at her food trying not to cry again.

“I know I appeared to be ungrateful, but I suffered to keep you safe. Now… now I’m glad you did. Thank you.” Vorstag owed her that much.

Lucinia stood and crawled back onto his lap again and cried once more.

Vorstag and Lucinia had a nap after breakfast, both of them still healing in different ways. But not before Anaka and Halof smothered him with attention and affection that he was alive and well, which resulted in Anaka nearly beating him in anger for almost dying. 

As he laid in bed with Lucinia, who was already napping, he struggled. All the attention was overwhelming for him, on top of his already frayed emotions and mental anguish. The whole thing reminded him of his own mortality and that of all the people in his life. He spent almost twenty years alone, with no one to worry about other than himself, now he had all these people surrounding him, willing to risk their own lives for him and he wasn’t sure he deserved it. There was his own estranged family he reunited with and then this little adoptive family with Anaka and Lucinia. It was too much. Too many worries, too many emotions. He wasn’t used to caring about so many people at once. The last time he cared this much about someone, she died. He couldn’t take care of her. Now he had a niece, nephews, a brother, a sister-in-law. 

What if he failed Anaka? What if she died? What if Lucinia died? He could barely take care of his sister let alone this girl who was supposed to save them all. Then Lucinia who always looked at him as if he was some damned godsend. On top of these feelings for the mage that were nearly crushing him, he could scarcely breathe. He wasn’t sure what it all meant or how to deal with it.

Vorstag woke with a start realizing he ended up falling asleep when something startled him, perhaps from the lingering nightmare he had. The room was dark, so it must have been evening. He slept the entire day away. Feeling around the bed, Lucinia was not there. Sitting up and looking around the room, he couldn’t see her anywhere. Perhaps she’s eating or talking with Anaka. _Don’t be an idiot and worry. We are in an inn. It’s safe here_.

As soon as he sat up, the door opened and closed. Lucinia had come in looking well-rested, a small smile on her face. Her hair was dripping wet, long spirals of curls trailing down her shoulders. Her flower smell wafted towards his nose. She walked over to the table and lit a candle. 

“You look good,” he said.

“You are looking better yourself.”

She ambled towards him and stood there facing him. “I thought you were going to die. It was the most horrible experience of my life,” she said. She looked away, lip quivering, trying to get herself under control. Vorstag didn’t know what to say or if he should say anything at all.

When she looked back, her eyes glistened, but no tears spilled. It didn’t register in his slow brain what she was doing, then clarity hit when she loosened the laces on the bodice of her dress. Pulling her arms out of the sleeves, she let the dress fall and pool around her feet. She wore nothing underneath as she stood there naked in front of him and all he could do was stupidly stare.

“Please tell me you aren’t going to leave me standing like an idiot,” she said.

That snapped him out of it, feeling himself harden, and reached for her. He held her warm and soft body against him, his face tucked between pert breasts. Upclose, he didn’t realize she had small, pale freckles on her skin. They were on her face and chest, but she was covered in them. He didn’t know why he loved that about her. His fingers mapped out the skin on her back. Vorstag always imagined their first time together would be heated, fast, desperate, probably because that is how it usually was when he had sex. But it wasn’t. 

Lucinia curled her fingers in his hair as he took a breast in his mouth, cupping it with a hand while the other explored. That little gasp of air she did when he twirled his tongue on her nipple had him wanting to hear more. He tucked her little sounds, touches, smells away in a special memory reserved just for her. All his worries before his nap washed away.

He yanked her down into the bed and pushed her onto her back. She gave him a small yelp of excitement— _another memory to file away_. He stood to remove his own clothes and dropped to his knees. He wanted to collect more memories of her—her touch, her taste, her musk. With her legs off the bed, she spread them, opening her up to him—another invitation he gladly accepted. Gentle kisses pressed on her inner thighs, reaching higher to her warmth, wetness. He knew she would be ready as he was, but there was no rushing this. His thumb probed her, grazed over her nerves as she shuddered, waiting for him to consume her. Feeling her wetness made his heart thunder, stomach flutter. 

“Touch me more,” she whispered. 

Growling into her flesh at her impatience, his hands reached for her breasts as his mouth met her heat. She arched into him, grasping the back of his hands, feet planted on his shoulders unabashedly. Her trust and comfort with him pushed him to taste every bit of her with tongue and lips. Her hands moved down, spreading herself for him. He loved that she was uninhibited, unafraid to express what she so desired without words. His tongue ran through warm and tender flesh as her body shuddered, gyrating into his mouth. She was honey, she was raw, he couldn’t get enough. Now focused on her bud, she was ready, so close. Her moans were killing him. Fingers were tangled in his hair as she pulled him into her, exploding, thighs tightening around him, throbbing in his mouth, on his tongue. He pushed every bit out of her until she begged for no more.

Kissing his way up her body, she was limp, unmoving other than her rapid breathing. He could wait no longer as he removed his smalls and plunged into her, giving her no time to rest. Grasping her hair in his hands, face planted in her neck, he had to still himself. He didn’t want to finish too soon. It had been many months since he did this, but it was never this good or intense as it was with Lucinia and he just barely entered her. Trusting himself to move, he thrust with painful slowness— _fuck she feels so good_. Nails digging into his back, legs wrapped around him as he picked up speed, finding his rhythm. 

“I never imagined you would feel this good,” she breathed.

Vorstag grasped her face between his hands and kissed her, never stopping his pace. Tongues reached as if seeking an embrace, hands exploring his skin, feeling the pressure and heat centralize. _Not too soon_ —Slow and rhythmic. A bite on his shoulder nearly sent him over the edge. Forehead to forehead now, he picked up the speed. He was ready. His release was unlike anything he felt before, longer, gratifying, meaningful as he spilled into her. 

Not wanting to crush her, he pulled out and rolled over, pressing his lips to hers. The kiss was gentle, delicate as they both came down, the storming waves calming. They held each other in silence, no words were necessary. He faced her, their eyes met and that feeling, those emotions he felt returned. There were so many, it was hard to distinguish between them. There was a want, a need for her—a feeling he never wanted to let go, but there was fear as well, uncertainty. The lovemaking must have worn him out as he fell asleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! Comments are welcome and appreciated. <3


	17. Breaking Hearts

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After Vorstag's ordeal, realizing people loved him enough to break their promise and risk their lives to save him, he's filled with a new sort of anxiousness, one he doesn't recognize. He hasn't had anyone care about him for almost 20 years, so the feeling is alien to him. The closer he gets to Lucinia, the more he pushes her away. At first, he thinks it was about his situation with the Thalmor, but realizes it something else entirely. When he unintentionally breaks Lucinia's heart, he flees for a few days to clear his head by clearing out a few bandit holds.

It was time to leave and head home. Vorstag wrapped Lucina in his arms; her naked body draped over him like a soft and warm blanket. The night they had was memorable and hard to shake. He didn't want to shake it, but keep it in a safe place for when he needed it. He didn't want to move either, enjoying her next to him, but as Vorstag woke in the dim light of the room, he had this strange sensation wash over him like someone or something was sucking the life out of him. It was as if it was drawing his very breath out of his lungs. It was suffocating. He had to get up—to breathe. Despite the anxiety settling over him, he eased out of Lucinia's grasp and crawled out of bed.

He had to check on Halof and Anaka, confident they behaved, but he had to make sure. If Halof did something he wasn't supposed to, he wouldn't be able to travel with them anymore. He didn't admit to himself that it was a mere distraction from the pressure on his chest.

"No, don't go yet," Lucinia mumbled in her sleep, reaching for him.

Vorstag took a step back. It was reflexive, and he didn't know why. He grabbed his tunic off of the floor after being tossed from last night and put it on. Then pulled on his breeches. Under normal circumstances, he would reach for her, snuggle up beside her, hold her a while longer. Now he just needed air.

"I need to check on them; then, we have to get ready to go home."

"You can trust them. Stay with me a moment longer."

"I have to make sure they pack," he said and left the room.

Opening up Anaka's door, he saw she was already awake and Halof still sleeping in the chairs. _Good boy._ "It's time to pack. We have to get going."

Anaka walked over and hugged him. "Are you okay, Master Vorstag? You still look tired."

Vorstag wasn't in the mood for hugs, but he was gentle when he eased her off of him. "I'm fine. Pack up, please." 

When he returned to the room, Lucinia was slipping on her tunic. He almost regretted not making love to her again. She was beautiful, even with her hair all over the place—no, especially with her hair all over the place. Vorstag wanted to tangle his fingers in it, press his lips to her neck. His heart was thudding from the memories of the night before. _Fuck… that gorgeous smile_. He almost rushed to her, pulled her to him. No, he needed air.

"I'll be right back," he mumbled. 

Vorstag stumbled outside the Winking Skeever. The morning was early enough that most of the shops were still closed, and very few people walked around. It was cold out, and the fog was rolling in, but he knew the day was going to warm up. It was just what he needed as he breathed in the fresh air. What was wrong with him? It was anxiety. It had to be. That's normal after what he went through, right? He should have expected it. The mercenary had known people who suffered as he had; they struggled sometimes.

He stood hunched over, hands on his knees, and closed his eyes, inhaling the air deep into his lungs and slowly exhaled. His heart rate soon slowed, calming down. 

"Vorstag?" said the voice, a hand resting on his shoulder.

He jumped out of his skin; heart rate elevated again. Lucinia must have followed him. "What?" He must have snapped at her because her hand removed, arms wrapped around her, and stood in a defensive posture.

"Are you alright? You didn't look so good when you left the room. I came to check to see if you're okay."

"I'm fine. I… I just needed some air." Vorstag turned, pulling her into him, as her arms wrapped around him. He held her and kissed the top of her fuzzy head. "I just needed air," he said again. It wasn't exactly a lie, but he wasn't telling her the full truth either.

"If you need to talk. I know after every—"

Lucinia read him too damn well, or he was terrible about hiding the growing anxiety. "I'm fine. Really. Aye, just… a lot of my mind, I'm trying to sort through."

"Do you want to—"

"No, I'm fine," he interrupted, tired of telling her he was okay. He couldn't talk because he didn't know what to talk about, not that he was the best conversationalist about emotions or feelings. His mind was a wreck at the moment as the happy moments from last night and horrors at the embassy fought over to dominate his thoughts.

Vorstag grabbed her hand and walked back into the Inn to finish their packing and leave. The urge to get home pulled at him. _Home_. His new home, not his old home. But it was his old home that he was longing for. It was a strange pull considering he hadn't given it much thought in months.

It took them four days to reach Whiterun. The return home was uneventful, much to the mercenary's relief. Then again, some action might clear his head. Lucinia worried for him in the beginning. He couldn't blame her, considering he became distant the day after they made love. He understood how she might think that. But he reassured her, kissed her, held her. At least she stopped looking at him as if her mind could probe his, demanding answers.

They dropped Halof off at home, Gretga trying not to weep in her relief to see her boy alive and well. She held him, talking about how much he had grown, even though it had only been eleven days. They all felt it was best not to tell Jolf and Gretga what happened to Vorstag at the embassy. No point in making them worry more. It was a simple decision since he didn't want to talk about it, anyway.

Jolf and Gretga invited them over, but Vorstag just wanted to stay home, though Anaka went over there to spend time with Halof. So it was just Vorstag and Lucinia. When they got home, he plopped into a chair after getting the fire going in the hearth.

"So, what's the plan?" Lucinia asked. 

"Hmm?" he asked, her voice barely tugging his attention; he was so distracted.

"Are you here, mercenary?"

Vorstag looked at her, standing in front of him, realizing she was talking. "Sorry, yes. I'm here, mage," he said, giving her a reassuring smile, though not meaning it.

"What is the plan now that we're back? Are we to leave for Riverwood soon?"

"I need… I need some time."

"It's still bothering you, isn't it? It still bothers me. I wake up some nights and see you bleeding, thinking you died. I can't even imagine what you are going through." Lucinia crawled into Vorstag's lap, a habit she seemed to enjoy. He usually liked it too but sensed that desperation for air again. He choked it back, wanting to push her away, but if he did, she would take it personally. The last thing he wanted to do was hurt her.

He didn't want to talk about it. Instead of addressing whatever was hammering away in his mind, he deflected her with a tender kiss to her throat. His hand reached for her breast, kneading it. "We're alone, you know," he said.

"You're changing the subject." The woman learned to figure out his tells all too easily. It was a little disconcerting.

"Kissing you is always the subject. It is the only one that matters." _Deflect_.

What he said must have appeased her because she returned his kiss. Vorstag lifted and brought her to his room with only thoughts of making love to her, a perfect distraction from all his discombobulated emotions. Every time she was near him, tangled up into him, he wanted her more as if he couldn't get enough. So why did he feel suffocated half the time around her? Lucinia was his light and life. Why did he have this strangled sensation sometimes being near her? He understood well enough it started after his torture, but it had to be more than that, and wondered if the emotions would be the same had they had not tortured him. Vorstag could not wrap his mind around it.

Then the dream came later that night. No, the nightmare. The same one he had every night now. Lucinia was always there, or Anaka. It wasn't him getting tortured and beaten. They were—always them—Lucinia and Anaka tortured, killed. He had to face their bleeding and beaten bodies each night—a nightmare reminding him every single night of his failure, his failure to protect them.

Vorstag woke up in a cold sweat, heart pounding through bone, grateful she didn't wake. She would want him to talk about it, but he couldn't. There was no way he would speak of their broken and bleeding bodies.

A week flew by with no plans to go to Riverwood. Vorstag had to take Anaka to see Delphine to find this Esbern, but he grew restless, stressed, confused. His nightmares were still happening, his mind a garbled mess. He had been pushing Lucinia away, unable to take her probing eyes, trying to force answers out of him when he had none. Anxiety levels were rising, and Vorstag was unsure what to do about it. 

He snapped at Lucinia that morning, not meaning to, but it slipped out. She only asked about his nightmare last night. The dreams didn't wake her up most nights, but this one did. He had to admit they were getting worse. All she did was show concern, and he just snapped at her. It was getting to the point he wanted to send her back to her own room—let him sleep alone for a change. She was always in his bed now, wrapped around him.

What he needed was to get away—kill some bandits. He was no use to anyone the way he was, unable to think straight, not sleeping. All his nightmares would come true if he didn't sort out his mind. The logical step would be to talk to Lucinia, but she was part of the problem, not knowing why or what to say. Instead, he decided to speak with his brother.

Vorstag found Jolf cleaning out the stables. Good, no one else was around.

"Brother—"

"Vorstag! Good morning to you."

"Listen, can we talk?" he asked, rubbing his neck in discomfort, looking at the ground, kicking at the dirt. The whole idea of talking about deep, emotional subjects left his stomach in knots.

Jolf put down his pitchfork and gave Vorstag his full attention. "Sure, what can I do for you, little brother?"

The mercenary started pacing away his unease as if it would clear his mind somehow. "There is something I kept from you. We all agreed that maybe it was for the best. In truth, I convinced everyone not to tell you and Gretga because I couldn't talk about it," he rambled.

Jolf's eyes turned wary. "What did you hide?"

"Solitude. We didn't want to scare you but rest assured, it had nothing to do with Halof if that's what you're thinking. He, Anaka, and Lucinia were in no danger… well, maybe. Anyway, I was the one to infiltrate the embassy. It was successful, but what you don't realize is they caught me—"

"What! Tell me what happened? Did they hurt you? How did you get—"

"Please let me finish, or else I won't be able to."

"Sorry, go on."

Vorstag resumed his pacing, not meeting his brother's eyes. "It was bad, Jolf. I have to admit... It was unlike anything I have ever been through, and I have suffered a lot. The Thalmor threw me into the dungeon, tortured me. I… I thought I was dead. I made Lucinia, Anaka, and Halof promise me that they would go home if I didn't come back. They were not to come for me, but they broke their promise. They saved me without injury to themselves."

"Of course, they saved you, brother. I would have done the same."

Jolf grabbed Vorstag to stop his pacing and pulled him into an embrace. It frustrated him, seeing the worry and love in his brother's eyes. Why was everyone looking at him like that all the time? He didn't deserve that much attention and care. 

Vorstag shoved his brother off. "Stop it! Why is everyone smothering me in fucking hugs all the time?"

"Because everyone cares about you. So, do you mind telling me why you're really here?" The man was unfazed by Vorstag's outburst.

Damned fucking as intuitive as Lucinia. He started pacing again. "I don't know. I get these nightmares. It's expected, right? After what happened? But they aren't of me—about me. Lucinia and Anaka are the subjects of my nightly horrors. I wake up sweating, scared… they are bleeding, suffering, dying. I can't stop it. I fail them! I fail them like I failed Ulla—" Vorstag winced as his voice cracked with emotion.

"Hold on… hold on a moment… stop right there. You did not fail Ulla, caring for her the best you could. Don't you dare blame yourself for her death. She got sick, and there was nothing you could do about it. If you left or could even afford the treatments, she would have died anyway. She would have died no matter what you did. You aren't seriously blaming yourself, are you? As I recall, you blamed me for a while, and I too blamed myself for a long time. It took me a while to realize what happened was out of our control and forgive myself," Jolf explained. "I have a fairly good idea that you are having those fears of failure so strongly that they are coming out in your dreams."

"They saved me that day. I failed, and they saved me after I told them not to. I made them promise not to, and I'm alive because of them. I woke up, and after I had time to recuperate, I had all these emotions wash over me. Then Lucinia came to me the next night… oh how I wanted her, more than breathing. But the next morning, I was suffocating. I was going through a surge of emotions I couldn't explain, confusing me. Every time I look at her I…"

His brother burst out in laughter. 

Vorstag raged in anger that his brother would think his dilemma was one of humor, feeling his face flush. Why did he even come to talk to him? "What? Why is this fucking funny?"

"Little brother, it sounds like you're in love."

"What?" _Great, more confusion_.

"It sounds that way to me—confusion, flustered, emotional, unable to let her go yet afraid of her. Sounds like love to me."

Vorstag paced again, shaking his head. No, he loved Gretga once. This emotion felt entirely different. It was an overwhelming sense of fear, confusion… Gods, he adored her, never wanting to let her go, but his anxiety grew the closer they got. He thought it had to do with his torture, but perhaps it was Lucinia. 

"No, I don't love her. Can I? No, it doesn't feel that way. I… I don't know! She's always by my side now, in my bed, constantly worried, poking and prodding my mind! Every time she's near, I want to hold her, kiss her, never let her go. Then those surge of emotions fill me, confuse me, and I feel suffocated. I... I'm overwhelmed and don't know what to do about it. Then those nightmares of her dying, Anaka dying. I need… I have to get away from her for a few days. Clear my mind. I need to breathe. I'm just… suffocating."

"Is that how you really feel?"

Vorstag stopped pacing and whirled around to face the female voice, heart slamming against his chest once more as his mind registered she heard what he said. "Lucinia. How… how long have you been listening?"

The look on her face made him want to gouge his eyes out. The dread in his stomach spread through his entire body, knowing he hurt her. 

"Long enough. I suffocate you, do I? I'm smothering your independence, and you can't stand it. I'm so sorry I bothered to care and worry... that it made you so confused! Don't worry about it. I will endeavor not to steal your precious air."

"Lucinia, no. I… I am just frustrated and needed to talk to my brother about things. I don't mean you are smothering me. I… I just don't know how to handle these feelings."

"I didn't know me caring about you made you frustrated enough to talk to your brother instead of me. Jolf, can I stay with you for a while? I need to give your brother some space."

"Uh…" Jolf looked like he didn't want to get in the middle of it.

"No! You stay. Forget it! I'm leaving for a while. I—" Vorstag muttered.

"Need to breathe?" Lucinia spat.

Vorstag wanted to reach for her, hold her, beg for her forgiveness. He hated to see her pain and anger, not blaming her. He blew past her but stopped. Maybe his brother was right—that it was love. Love should be easy to recognize, right? The desire to hold her was stronger than his need to flee, but his confusion and pride won out. 

"I'm so sorry," he muttered, not looking at her, and walked away.

Whiterun was overrun with bandits again. Perhaps the centralized location of the city where trade was the most prevalent caused the problem. It was lucrative to be a bandit in the Hold, and there were ruins, caves, and old forts scattered throughout the moors giving the thugs perfect places to establish strongholds. 

According to the Jarl's Steward, there were three such strongholds in the area. They didn't have the manpower to clear them out. No guards or soldiers, yet they would hire one man to do the job. Admittedly, the mercenary had more experience than most of their guards combined. Vorstag just needed to clear his head, and killing bandits would do just that.

His first stop was Fort Greymoor. They were perfectly positioned in the ruined fort, protected by high walls and spiked wooden barricades. They also had the numbers. The only way Vorstag could reach them without being killed by arrows from the ramparts was to pluck them off with his bow as they guarded the towers. Once he killed the archers, Vorstag was safe to enter inside the fort with his great-sword. It felt good to rid Whiterun of the bandits and to do something alone without having to worry about others or them worrying about him.

He cleared out the fort, then the mercenary removed as many valuables he could carry without weighing him down and made camp in the courtyard. He looked at his map in the firelight and marked down where the cave was. It housed another group of bandits just north of the fort. Vorstag knew well enough once he emptied the bandit locations, some would eventually return. Skyrim had a steady supply of bandits, especially since war was brewing. 

While poking around the fort, he found a case of mead and pulled out a few bottles for himself. It was nice to sit in silence, not talking to people. He enjoyed being lost in his own thoughts, not having anyone to answer to, protect, or explain away his moods. It was just him and the stars above. But did he hate it, though? He didn't. It was kind of pleasant to be cared for and wanted. 

The entire purpose of getting away was to think about all those emotions that plagued him. He thought about what his brother told him and wondered if he was in love with Lucinia. It would explain the intense emotions—the fears that he would fail her. But he had these fears for Anaka, too, which were deeply rooted enough to give him nightmares. 

He tossed the mead bottle when he finished drinking, hearing it shatter in the dark, and opened another. Vorstag would rather have ale, but beggars couldn't be choosers. 

After his torture, the mercenary couldn't look past that day of his bath at the Winking Skeever. When it came down to it, his emotional breakdown had less to do with the pain and more to do with being cared about enough that they saved his life. They broke their promise to bring him back because they… they loved him. The realization hit him like a ton of bricks. Instead of embracing it, it angered him. Anger wasn't the right word. It scared him.

The more Vorstag picked apart his emotions and thoughts, the more the puzzle pieces fit. A pattern emerged in his head. The mercenary spent nearly two decades with no sort of companionship. Now he was surrounded by it. It took some getting used to. But these people in his life weren't acquaintances any longer. They cared about him, and he cared for them. He cared enough to worry for them, that the fear of failure plagued him. 

His thoughts drifted to Lucinia. The fears were worse for her, so much so he was suffocating from them. After they made love, it wasn't just what he went through in the torture; it was their union in bed that changed everything. All his fears wants, needs, desires, reluctances culminated into one giant mess in his head. Jolf was right. He was in love with her. _Fuck_. It explained everything, along with why he was so terrified. The feelings were so extreme that whenever they were close, he could scarcely breathe.

He loved her, and he had to fix things. Vorstag had a lot of work ahead of him if she would even forgive him. _Gods, what a fool I am._

Redoran's Retreat was simple enough to clear out. The bandits there were stupid as they tended to be, and it took little effort to kill them all. Because it took such a short time to clear out, Vorstag moved on to Silent Moons Camp. He was expecting to rest after the cave, but there was no need. 

The next Stronghold wasn't far from the cave. The bandits were holed up in ancient Nordic ruins, which were situated high enough that it would pose a serious threat to his well-being if he just stormed the place. 

Vorstag situated himself on a small cliff that gave him a perfect vantage point to kill the three sentries guarding the ruins. They were also separated enough that no one would take notice if one died, giving him the advantage of surprise. His arrows were ready as he took out the two bandits. The third walked away out of sight, so the mercenary waited patiently for him to come into view again. As predicted, the bandit reappeared, and Vorstag killed him too.

Beyond the sentries, Vorstag didn't know what to expect or how deep the ruins got once he reached inside. He pulled out his sword and made his way up the steps with care. The bandits were smarter than he gave them credit and stormed down at him—four of them. Fuck, one was a mage. Before he could react, electricity shot out of the mage's hands and hit Vorstag head-on. His mind flashed of his torture, but the pain wasn't nearly as bad as the last time. The fear was greater than the pain, but he had to push it down. _Lucinia_. He wore her amulet. A grin crept up his face when he saw the shock on the mage's face. He was fortunate they all came at him with swords, that there were none with bows. 

None of the bandits was a match for his skill and power as he decimated them. All but the mage remained on the top of the steps, still trying to cast spells at the mercenary, but it was in vain. The man was weakening as he drained of Magicka. They clashed swords when Vorstag reached the top of the stairs. Instead of killing the man, Vorstag used the pommel of his sword to knock the man out. He dragged him inside the ruins, which they converted into a blacksmithing area. 

Vorstag tossed the man on the ground, waiting for him to wake up, pulling an apple out of his pack. The mercenary wanted to interrogate the bandit to find out what to expect inside the ruins. It was best to be prepared. Since the bandit was taking too long, Vorstag dragged his body over to the smithing waters and dunked his head in. The man gasped for air, waking up in an instant, then he tossed the man to the ground. The tip of the mercenary's sword rested on the bandit's throat as he grabbed his apple, taking a large bite.

"What do you want," the thug asked.

Vorstag held out the apple. "Want one?"

The man just shook his head, fear in his eyes, unmoving.

"No? More for me, then. Tell me, how many are inside the ruins? If you tell me, I will let you live."

Bandits were cowards and had no problem betraying their comrades if it meant saving their own hides. "There are four inside. Not much inside the ruins. It's small."

"Good because I'm tired. I've been cleaning you assholes out of Whiterun for days. You're like fucking roaches."

Vorstag took another bite of the apple, chewing slowly. He bought the apple from a vendor in Whiterun, which was delightfully juicy. He was going to have to buy more when he returned. _Lucinia will love them. Lucinia… crap._

"Ever been in love?" he asked the bandit.

"What?" The fear in the bandit's eyes grew, probably afraid if he failed in answering, he would die, despite the promise earlier.

"Love. Ever been in love? It's not a hard question."

"I suppose. Yes, once, though it was a long time ago."

"Was she ever mad at you? Not like you forgot to clean the dishes mad, but you know, something that would be hard to forgive?"

"I really don't want to talk about my life with you, mercenary," the bandit said, suddenly defiant. Vorstag saw something recognizable in the man's face. It reflected what Vorstag felt. It was regret and wishing you had a do-over. Once Vorstag recognized and sorted through all the emotions, he knew he loved Lucinia but didn't know how to fix things. He wasn't sure why he was asking the bandit. The mercenary didn't expect the idiot to have the answers, but perhaps because he just wanted to talk.

"Suit yourself," he said, tossing the apple core into the forge flames.

"Wait!" the bandit yelled, panicked, thinking he was about to die. "Yes, I… well, it's the reason I'm here. I have no excuses, but I blew it with my lady. She was my wife, and, well, we lost our baby. She was pregnant. I… I blamed her for it. Once I realized my mistake, it was too late. She never forgave me. Life led from one thing to another, and I… well, I ended up here."

The mercenary was not expecting the man to give him his life story. He usually saw bandits no better than an annoying insect rather than humans. It was the first time he saw a bandit as such. There was no excuse to prey on others, as bandits did, but this man had a normal life once upon a time.

"Sorry to hear that. How long has it been?"

"Just over two years."

"Since you didn't fix things with her, I suppose you have no answers for me." Vorstag sighed in defeat. He didn't know the first thing about being in love or how to handle the mistakes he made with Lucinia. He sheathed his sword and held out a hand to the man on the ground who didn't reach for it. 

"This is your lucky day, bandit. I highly recommend you change your line of work," he said.

The bandit grabbed the mercenary's hand, allowing himself to be pulled upright. "You're not going to kill me?"

"A promise is a promise, as long as you don't try to kill me again."

As the bandit walked away, something stopped him as if he had something to say, which he did. "You should get her something like a present, a thoughtful present. It doesn't have to be anything big or expensive. It just has to come from the heart. I tried that with my wife, but I caused too much damage."

"Something thoughtful? What did you get your wife?" Vorstag asked.

"Her favorite flowers. They are scarce, rare, so it made them that much more special."

Vorstag laughed under his breath at taking advice from a bandit. "I will keep that in mind. Stay out of trouble, bandit."

"I am going to find her," he said and left.

The mercenary was nervous about returning home. Now that he had time to clear his head and figure things out, he fretted, wondering if he blew it with Lucinia. As he headed home with the bandit's words in his head, he knew exactly what he wanted to get her.

When he entered their home, neither Lucinia nor Anaka were there. A fear hit him they left, so he rushed to inspect their rooms, finding their clothes were still there. He took a shuddered breath, the emotion of relief coursing through him that she didn't leave and take Anaka with her. Perhaps he still had a chance. 

Inside Lucinia's room, he dug around to find something of hers that had her smell on it. It was a little intrusive, but he had a plan. He never asked her what her scent was, so he would take the smell to the alchemist who could pick apart the ingredients—hopefully. Vorstag didn't want to recreate what she had. He wanted to create something new from it.

The alchemist was able to separate the scents, and they spent a few hours rearranging them to give Lucinia something unique. The predominant scent was yellow mountain flower, which had a sweeter, more decadent scent than its cousins, the blue or red mountain flowers. The woman made the soaps from the finest ingredients, guaranteed to soften Lucinia's skin while making it smell wonderful. She wrapped them up in linen, dyed the color to match yellow mountain flowers, and tied them with twine. 

It was dusk when he arrived at his brother's house. Despite Lucinia's clothes still at their home, he wasn't sure he would find her with Jolf and Gretga. As he got closer, he saw there, alone, sitting in a field of wildflowers far away from the house. But her hair was unmistakable. On a warm day like today, he knew she enjoyed gathering bees, butterflies, and flowers for her ingredients, but she sat there with legs drawn up, her chin resting on her knees. It crushed Vorstag to see her like that. Her entire demeanor reflected sadness and pained him because he knew he caused it. 

The mercenary's stomach fluttered to near painful proportions, hoping for all he was worth, she would forgive him. Before he gave her the gift, he had to talk to her. She deserved that much. He didn't want to make the presents look like he was bribing her to look past his failures.

If Lucinia heard him approach, she gave no sign. She must have known it was him because she refused to acknowledge him. Vorstag sat down next to her, staring at her beautiful profile.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading! Comments are always welcome and appreciated. <3
> 
> Next: Finding a way to forgive


	18. Forgiveness and Thieves

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Vorstag has some serious apologizing to do to Lucinia and he does his best. Then we head to Riften, run into a womanizing thief, and the Thalmor on their hunt for Esbern.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, I try to do my best not to bore you with questlines :)

Vorstag sat down next to her in the tall grass and wildflowers. He wasn’t sure how to approach her, especially since she didn’t acknowledge his presence. He gave up and thrust the flowers in her face. It wasn’t the most graceful approach, but perhaps it would be enough for her to look at him and give him time to come up with words. He began to think he lost all ability to speak.

The bundle of yellow flowers seemed so pathetic now that he was handing them to her, especially since she was surrounded by flowers. Vorstag only guessed these were her favorite based on her favorite scent. But they didn’t seem worthy now that he handed them to her.

Lucinia took them from his hand, closed her eyes and brought them up to her nose, taking a deep inhale of their scent. When she opened her eyes to look at him and they sparkled, but no smile played on her lips. She was still upset, but at least he had her attention.

“How did you know?” she asked.

“Know what?”

“That these are my favorite. You never asked.”

Vorstag stood a bit taller with her words, feeling proud he chose right. “I have my ways,” he said in his attempt to remain mysterious, yet humorous. “I’m so sorry, Lucy.” It was a rare thing to call each other by their names, preferring to use ‘mercenary’ or ‘mage.’ It was their way of teasing each other and eventually became pet names, but this was serious and he wanted her to know he was taking it as such. 

“You hurt me. It still hurts, but this is partly my fault—”

“None of this is your fault. You don’t seriously believe that, do you?”

“Listen, please. I know enough about you to understand you’ve been alone a long time and I just thrust myself on you. You went from never having a relationship to suddenly having one. I should have thought about that and not rushed things. I was angry, hurt at first, but as I thought about things, I understood why you reacted as you did. Despite that, I wish you came to talk to me instead.”

Lucinia, looked out on the horizon holding the flowers close to her in an embrace, though gentle to not crush them. She still looked sad and Vorstag knew they had more to discuss and had a long way to go.

“This isn’t your fault, it’s mine and my issues alone. I’m an idiot—”

“Well, I can’t disagree with you there,” she teased, though he was sure she meant it too.

The joking brought a smile to Vorstag’s face and gave him hope. “Yes, I’m an idiot, but I’ve been this way for a long time. The reason I reacted as I did was a culmination of things. It wasn't just about you, but mostly you. It was also about this sudden family, and people caring about me and then the… torture. It was the fact that you all cared enough to save me and defied my orders. I’m… I’m just not used to dealing with all these emotions, having to answer to others, and having them care.”

Vorstag wasn’t sure if he was explaining things well enough. It felt like he was rambling. But Lucinia looked at him, her face thoughtful, kindness pushed through those hurt green eyes. 

“I guess I can understand that. I should have understood that, but I reacted in anger towards you.”   


“Lucy, if you don’t stop blaming yourself over all this, I’m going to throttle you. These are my issues, not yours. You have done nothing but care about me. It didn’t bother me at first because I didn’t think about it until after the embassy. It was then how much I realized you cared about me… how much I cared about you—all of you, but especially you. Then we made love and everything changed. I went a little nuts there because I didn’t recognize my feelings for what they were.”

“What did you recognize?” she asked, curious now.

“That... I love you.”

Her eyes popped open wide in surprise, not expecting that little tidbit. “You love me? Is that what this is all about?”

“Yes. Once I recognized it, I became at peace with it. It took my brother to see it for what it was because, as I said, I’m an idiot.”

“You love me?” she asked again.

“Yes, you aren’t going to make me recite poetry or anything are you?” he said. It felt strange saying it, but he meant the words. But he wasn’t a romantic either, wondering how many times she wanted him to say it.

There it was. Lucinia’s sadness and hurt melted away. In its place were fucking doe-eyes and tears. This time he welcomed them. He understood enough now about her to know it was a good thing, that she was happy.

“No poetry necessary,” she giggled. “Your love is enough. It is why I hurt so much by your words before. I love you too. I was crushed and didn’t want to lose you. Despite that, I wasn’t about to stay with you if you could never feel the same.”

“I will endeavor not to be an idiot in the future, and try to be more open with you. I’m not going to say it will be easy. I get grumpy a fair amount if you haven’t noticed. This is all new to me.”

Lucinia crawled over to him and curled up in his lap—always the perfect fit. “Despite your fears and non-romantic side, you still managed to find out what my favorite flower is.”

“I have something else for you,” he said, rummaging in his back. Vorstag pulled out a wrapped gift, handing it to her. 

“What’s this?”

“It’s a gift, clearly. Think of it as an apology, but I didn’t want to give it to you as a tool to win you over. I wanted to talk to you first.”

Lucinia opened her gift, a broad smile on her face, and lifted the three bars of soap to her nose. “Oh, this smells wonderful! It has my favorite flower in it, but it smells different from what I normally use.”

“I had it specially made based on how you smell. I love how you smell,” he said, making her giggle by sniffing her neck. He loved that sound. It was much better than her angry or crying. “The alchemist helped me with it.”

“How did you ever think of such a thing?” she asked, inhaling her soaps again.

“I wish I could take all the credit, but a bandit helped me.”

Lucinia looked at him, an eyebrow cocked. She looked as if she was waiting for the punchline. “A bandit?”

“Aye. That’s what I was doing while I was gone. Nothing like a little bandit cleaning to soothe the soul and clear the head. I left one alive to interrogate. One thing led to another and I asked him if he ever had love problems. He did and gave me some advice.”

“I do hope you let the poor man live after that.”

“He’s alive and went back to his woman after our talk, or so he said.”

“So this bandit told you to make me some soaps?”

Vorstag laughed at the very thought. “No, he just suggested I give you something thoughtful.”

“Well I love them, and the flowers.”

“You forgive me then?”

“There’s nothing to forgive. I love you and accept you, grumpy, idiotic faults and all.”

“I love you,” he said and bent his head to kiss her. Soon they were groping, tongues reaching, panting, wanting. 

“Hmm, perhaps we should take this indoors,” she said, pushing him away, laughing.

“Why? We are buried in grass and flowers. No one is around. Besides, it's getting dark,” he said, reaching for her once more, but she shoved him off with her wonderful giggles.

“You keep laughing like that and I will never stop.”   


“And you said you weren’t romantic.”

“I’m not. I’m just lusting for you.” 

Vorstag had Luncinia on his lap, snuggled in his arms. He pulled the top of her dress down, pulling out a lovely breast, brushing a thumb over the nipple, feeling it harden, and watching her eyes close in pleasure. The vision before him made him swell in his breeches, but he pushed it aside and focused solely on her. He pulled her chest to his lips and caressed her nipple with his tongue. 

His hand moved down her leg, slipping under her skirts, feeling the soft meaty flesh of her thigh. Vorstag pulled down her smalls and cupped her warmth, already wet for him. Lucinia sat up for a moment and pulled off her smalls, tossing them in the field, then settled back down to his touches, spreading her legs for him. 

He loved that she was so responsive and open to him, unafraid. Vorstag plunged fingers inside her and rubbed the tender nerve bundle, watching her face as her head rested on his arm holding her up. His hand moved to grip her hair holding her as he continued his touches. When she moaned, he did too. There was a love watching women in their ecstasy. It was uninhibited, raw. 

As Lunicina got closer to the brink, he rubbed faster and plunged his lips to hers, her fingers grabbing his hair in turn, pulling him in. Her grip tightened as she boiled over, moaning in his mouth, thrusting into his hand as she pulsed on fingers. “Yes,” he whispered in her mouth. When it was over, she melted into him, limp.

“Well,” Lucinia panted. “I didn’t know I needed that. Okay, I always need that, but you know what I mean.”

“Trust me, it’s my pleasure.”

She sat up and struggled to undo his armor and buckles, but he pushed her back. “No, it will take an hour to get all this off and I’m sure dinner is ready at my brother’s.”

“Fine, but we are not done, mercenary—tonight.”

“I don’t think I will take much convincing, mage.”

After arguing back and forth with Jolf and Gretga, Halof convinced them to let him travel to Riverwood and get the details on Esbern in Riften with Anaka. Vorstag made promises that it wouldn’t be dangerous and if it was, they were a team to protect each other. Delphine had some ideas where to find Esbern, so they would talk to her, though Vorstag wasn’t too keen on it. Despite her help getting him out of the embassy, she only did it for selfish reasons. That woman was on her own fighting a one-woman battle, turning her cold and hard. To be fair, Vorstag was similar to her in that regard. 

All of them crammed themselves in Delphine’s cellar to work out the details of their next mission, a map in front of her. “The Thalmor have been hunting Esbern and myself for years, ever since the Great War. I’m not surprised  the Thalmor would be on his trail, though, if they were trying to find out what's going on with the dragons.”

“Why would the Thalmor want Esbern? I know he was a Blade, but still,” asked Anaka.

“Aside from wanting to kill every Blade they can lay their hands on? Esbern was one of the Blades archivists, back before the Thalmor smashed us during the Great War. He knew everything about the ancient dragon lore of the Blades. Obsessed with it, really. Nobody paid much attention back then. I guess he wasn't as crazy as we all thought.”

“So the Thalmor want to know what the Blades know about dragons?” 

“Ironic, right? The old enemies assume that every calamity must be a plot by the other side... Even so, we've got to find Esbern before they do. He'll know how to stop the dragons if anybody does.” Delphine looked at Vorstag since he was the one who infiltrated the embassy. “I’m glad you are looking well. You said you found out Esbern is in Riften, right?”

Vorstag ignored her comment about his incident. He knew she didn’t really care. “Aye, the man I tried to rescue told me a man named Esbern was holed up in Riften, protected by the Thieves Guild.”

“He’s probably down in the Ratway, then. It's where I'd go. You'd better get to Riften. Talk to Brynjolf. He's... well-connected. A good starting point at least. Oh, and when you find Esbern... if you think I'm paranoid... you may have some trouble getting him to trust you. Just ask him where he was on the 30th of Frostfall. He'll know what it means.”

“Is there a reason we are doing all the work here?” Vorstag asked. He was getting tired of Delphine ordering them about. She may have been a leader of the Blades, but Anaka wasn’t a blade.

“I can’t risk it. The Thalmor are after me too. There’s a reason I’m still alive.”

“You realize this will pin a target on Anaka’s back, right?”

“Anaka already has a target on her back being the Dragonborn.”

The Blade woman was frustrating and indifferent to the plight of others. The only thing she cared about was her own ends. While her ends tied with Anaka’s, the girl was the one doing all the work. “Regardless, she’s not a trained warrior.” 

“She’s learning and will be stronger than all of us in the near future.”

Delphine always had the answers. Vorstag just gave up asking anything else. 

It was late, so they all stayed the night at the Sleepy Giant Inn. 

“So we have to deal with the Thieves Guild,” Vorstag said as they all settled down in their room for the night. “They don’t give anything away for free, especially information. Just be prepared they ask us to do something in return. I guess since I’m the only one closest to a thief, I will have to do whatever they want to trade for the information. They must be protecting the man.”

“I hope they don’t ask you to do something that is… immoral,” Luncinia said.

“Well, sweetheart, they are the Thieves Guild. Nothing they do is moral. If it proves to be even beyond me, I will see if they are willing to trade for something else. If worse comes to worst and Esbern is in the Ratway as Delphine said, I will just infiltrate it. But I don’t want to make the Thieves Guild an enemy.”

“Maybe I should do it,” Anaka offered.

“Not this. If anyone is going to get caught and go to jail, it’s me,” Vorstag insisted.

“Mercenary, I hate to bring this up again so soon after... the embassy, but if you get caught, I am not sure any of us can handle that again,” Lucinia said, hands wringing in fret and worry.

“No, guards aren’t the Thalmor. They won’t hurt me. Before we make assumptions, let’s see what this Brynjolf has to say.”

“I’m glad to see more of the Rift,” Lucinia said as they rode towards Riften. “It’s truly beautiful.”

“Yeah, it’s not bad if you like being drowned in orange trees,” Vorstag said, chuckling. He loved the Rift too.

“Is Riften nice, Master Vorstag?” Anaka asked.

“I guess that depends on what you think is nice. It’s probably the least nice city in Skyrim… no, I take that back. Winterhold is a disaster and Windhelm is just… depressing, but you’ve already been to both. Riften is a fishing town and it’s run by the Thieves Guild, so take it as you will.”

They all heard it—a sound that was becoming familiar. They couldn’t see the dragon, but it was only a matter of time. Vorstag could almost feel Anaka slumping on her horse in frustration. He couldn’t blame her with how dragon soul-sucking made her feel, not to mention the horror of having to fight the beasts.

“What is that?” Halof asked looking around, not nervous yet, but he soon would be. 

“Dragon. Once we see it, Halof, you run and hide. Your parents will peel the flesh off my bones if you die. I promised them this trip would be uneventful.”

“No! How am I supposed to learn to protect Anaka if you hide me away?”   


“Boy… listen to me. A dragon isn’t like fighting a bandit—”

“Protect me? I don’t need a boy protecting me!” Anaka said, getting angry at Halof that he would believe she wasn’t strong enough. Vorstag loved her for that.

“Of course, you’re strong enough… but we all need protecting, Ana. It’s what friends and families do. I meant no offense. I am good with a bow. I can help!”

“Oh,” was all she said.

It seems the mercenary was frequently underestimating his nephew. Probably because he was comparing the boy to himself. Halof had parents to teach him and watch out for him. Vorstag had no one. “Fine, if it even looks your way, you move into hiding. I mean it. I wasn’t joking about what your parents will do to me.”

“Enough, it comes!” Lucinia yelled, seeing the dragon flying towards them.

They all jumped off their horses and Vorstag ran, pulling them to safety. 

“It’s like they know where I am,” Anaka said. “How do they know to attack us instead of a village or town if not?”

“I don’t know, sweetheart,” Lucinia said, eyes to the sky, her bow conjured. “I will switch to spells as soon as I know what type of dragon we are fighting.”

They took their time firing their arrows, not wanting to waste them as the dragon flew back and forth over their heads. His third time around he blasted them with fire, all expecting it as they rolled out of the way. Lucinia and Anaka switched up to their frost spells and Anaka managed to blast it with her ice shout, bringing it to the ground. 

Anaka was more confident than she had been despite her reluctance to fight dragons, while Halof drew his sword. Vorstag was too busy to yell at the boy to use the bow from a distance, trying to keep from getting eaten or knocked to Oblivion by the tail. 

The girl was right; the dragon seemed focused on her, treating the rest of her friends as nothing more than pests. The creature managed to knock her back with its tail and must have injured her as she cast a healing spell. Distracted, Anaka didn’t realize the dragon was about to attack her again and Vorstag was too far from her. He yelled to get her attention, but she wasn’t going to be quick enough. He had to try and started running towards her before Halof ran at her and pulled her away just in time to miss its snapping maw. This time it was Halof who took the brunt of the creature’s tail, knocking him out. 

“Lucinia! Check on Halof!” the mercenary yelled. “Focus, Anaka! No healing unless you will die without it! Suffer it and keep fighting! Blast it again, girl! Stop worrying about Halof!”

Anaka nodded and blasted the creature again, freezing it. She was angry now, and if she was anything like him, she was angrier at herself. While the dragon was frozen, she ran at it with her sword, stabbing it together with Vorstag in its underbelly. 

“Again!” he yelled out.

The girl blasted the dragon once more with ice and Vorstag took his blade to the dragon’s throat. When it unfroze, it was bleeding out everywhere, staggering, and finally falling to the ground. It took a minute for the creature to die and when it did, Anaka took the soul because she had no choice. It flocked to her as if she were the flame and it was the moth.

Anaka stumbled and struggled to hold back the bile, looking sick, but she choked it back as she rushed to Halof. The tears spilled out of her eyes now that her adrenaline was wearing off and fell to her knees to check on the boy. But Halof was fine thanks to Lucinia’s quick healing. 

“I’m so sorry, Halof! I almost killed you because I wasn’t paying attention. You… you saved my life and here I got angry with you that I didn’t need protecting.”

Halof sat up and pulled the girl into a hug. “It’s okay. Of course, I would help you. I won’t ever let anything harm you.”

“Anaka, I know you’re upset, but remember what I said about the healing. Sometimes we have to suffer for a while because we cannot stop fighting. You have to learn to shake it off, girl, unless you are going to die if you don’t,” Vorstag said.

“I won’t ever forget.” 

“Gods, please don’t tell your parents what happened. They are going to fucking kill me.”

“Vorstag…” Lucinia said.

“I know… watch my language, but the moment called for it. I’m in deep shit if they find out.”

“I won’t tell them, Uncle,” Halof promised.

“Yeah, and if they find out, I will be in more deep shit that we kept it from them. Perhaps it's best if they know and hope for the best,” Vorstag said, reaching out a hand to lift Halof to his feet. In an unusual bout of emotion, he pulled the boy into an embrace. “I’m glad you are okay, boy. And you two stop smiling at me. I’m not a monster.”

They reached Riften two hours later and stabled Snowball and Bubbles. The gate to Riften was locked and guards barred their way inside.

“The way is closed unless you pay the visitor’s tax.”

“Visitor’s tax my ass. Are you attempting to extort money from us, guard? You may want to think twice about—”

“I’m sorry, sir. Please don’t tell anyone,” he said, backing off and unlocking the gate.

They all had a quick lunch before seeking out Brynjolf of the Thieves Guild, but they didn’t know where to look. “I guess the best thing to do is ask around,” Vorstag said.

“I will head out to the market and ask anyone there,” Lucinia offered.

“Fine, I will be in the tavern asking around. Anaka, you can go with Lucinia and Halof, you’re with me.”

The two Argonian owners of the Bee and Barb Tavern gave him an earful about Brynjolf, but nothing useful like how to find the man. He asked a few other patrons, but they didn’t know who he was or refused to answer. A beautiful brunet leaning against a wall eyeing Vorstag with suspicion drew his attention. He was certain she was part of the Guild. 

“You know who I’m looking for,” he said.

“I may, but you don’t find Brynolf. He finds you.”

“Helpful. Look, we just have some questions for him. That’s all.”

“Sorry, but you’re on your own,” she said and walked off.

“What do we do now, Uncle?”

“I guess we go see if Lucy and Ana had better luck.”

As soon as they reached the market he saw Anaka standing next to Lucinia who was talking to a tall, handsome red-headed man who was standing entirely too close to her. That man needs to take a step back, now. It was evident the man was flirting with her. Could she not tell?

Vorstag stood behind Lucinia while she was talking and physically moved her out of the way. “She is taken,” he said, eyeing the man, daring him to dispute his words.

“Are you sure she knows that?”

The mercenary huffed, drawing a blank on what to say, but resisting the urge of drawing his sword. This man was taunting him. “Are you calling me a liar?”

Lucinia soon stood in between the two men. “Vorstag, sweetheart… this is the man… we have been speaking about.”

“Is he now? The man is flirting with you and was too close to you for comfort, mage.”

“I can take care of myself, mercenary. You are the only one for me, so please settle down. We need him.”

Vorstag took a step back, arms crossed. “So what does he say?”

“He says he will help us—”

“But for a price,” he finished for her.

“Yes.”

“Master Brynjolf, sir, please tell us where this Esbern is. I am not lying when I tell you this is a matter of life and death. We need to find him. The Thalmor are on their way to him and I hope we aren’t too late in reaching him. They will be tearing through your Guild if you do not warn them. Please help us. My tip about the Thalmor will save your Guild. That should be price enough to lead us to this man,” Anaka said, the grown-up version. The girl was growing fast.

The thief’s eyes narrowed, suddenly alert. “The Thalmor? Why didn’t you say so? Very well, follow me.”

“Well done,” Vorstag whispered to Anaka. “Nice diplomatic skills. Something that I sorely lack.”

“And we love you anyway,” quipped Lucinia.

“Ha, ha, Very funny…”

As soon as they entered the Ratway, two men who guarded the entrance lay dead. “Shit, I hope we aren’t too late,” Vorstag said.

Brynolf remained silent, drawing his daggers, ready for battle. “It’s this way.”

He led them to a small room and a door. Inside opened up to freshwater and an underground tavern of all things. Yelling, clashing of swords, and fighting could be heard as the group rushed in to protect the members of the Guild. But it turns out they didn’t need help. Two Thalmor lay dead on the ground. 

A blonde thief, bleeding from her lip looked pissed. “What the fuck is going on Brynjolf?”

“The Thalmor. They found Esbern, the man we are protecting.”

“Stop, Does the name Etienne ring a bell? I ran into him at the Thalmor embassy, but I was too late to help him. They killed him and nearly killed me.”

“Etienne? Yes, he’s one of ours. He’s dead, you say?”

“Unfortunately. He gave away information about Esbern. It’s how I knew to come here. They tortured him severely.”

“Damn. If any more Thalmor come through the Flagon or Cistern, kill them first, ask questions later,” Bryjolf ordered. “Let’s go find Esbern.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading! Comments are always welcome and appreciated.


	19. Those Vile Dragon Souls

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> With the help of Brynjolf, the team managed to reach Esbern before the Thalmor. But with a new dragon soul inside Anaka, she unleashes as a weapon without so much as a thought to wipe out the rest of the Thalmor. Things don't go well for her when she realized what she's done. Vorstag has to pull out an old story he kept buried to help her through it. Then comes the bad news, letting Jolf and Gretga know their son was injured by a dragon.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As usual, I try to change the quest line up a bit and hope it's not boring. Here we really get to see the impact dragon souls have on the Dragonborn.

Brynjolf was a master of stealth with years of training in the Thieves Guild. Since he was the second in command, he led everyone through the Ratway Warrens in silence. He seemed to know the sewers like the back of his hand. 

“We don’t want to rush in there. We have the benefit of surprise and I’m familiar with the area. The Thalmor will be lost and confused about where to go. We will jump on them when they least expect it, giving us an advantage over them,” Brynjolf explained before they entered the sewers.

The small group was ready, weapons and magic drawn as they followed the thief close behind. The place was a labyrinth of tunnels and passageways. It was no wonder Esbern locked himself down there. It took someone like Brynjolf to lead them without getting lost. This would buy them time to reach Esbern before the Thalmor.

The thief held out his hand to stop them and drew a finger to his lips for silence, then pointed around the corner. Vorstag peeked over, discovering two Thalmor agents talking quietly, looking at a map, turning it in different directions, faces covered in confusion. Before he could do anything, Brynjolf leaped out of the shadows and attacked one elf, slashing his throat and killed the other before he even registered the thief was there—both dead.

“Nicely done,” Vorstag whispered, wondering if he should come to the guild and get some training in stealth attacks. He could sneak, but he wasn’t nearly as proficient as Brynjolf. He didn’t like the man, but that didn’t mean he didn’t have respect for his fighting abilities.

It was slow going the deeper they headed in. They couldn’t risk rushing in head first, so they had to take their time and hope for the best—hope the Thalmor had not found Esbern yet.

Surprise was on their side again as Brynjolf snuck up on the three Thalmor, but they turned just in time to notice the thief behind them and attacked. Their magic was too powerful as they blasted the thief against the stone wall. Vorstag had more luck thanks to Lucinia’s amulet as he attacked with his sword. He turned around to kill the next elf but found he had an arrow protruding from his skull. As he looked back, Vorstag noticed the excited look on Halof’s face that he saved his uncle. The mercenary wasted no time, lunging for the last Thalmor who was, instead, shocked to death with lightning by Lucinia.

“Is everyone going to take my kills?” he huffed.

“There’s enough for everyone,” Lucinia quipped, checking on the thief, healing him.

Brynjolf jolted up, ready to fight, then realized it was over. “Gods damned Thalmor,” he complained, standing up. “Thanks for the healing. Let’s go.”

Up a flight of steps, around a corner, and they neared the cell where Esbern lived.

“He lives here, or is he a prisoner?” Lucinia asked.

“The old man pays us to keep him protected and pays us well, but he’s no longer safe,” Brynjolf explained.

A loud scream echoed through the Warrens. All of them turned to witness Anaka grabbed from behind by what appeared to be a deranged chef. The girl used her physical training Vorstag taught her and dropped like a limp doll and elbowed the man in the balls. It wasn’t enough to stop him, but he let her go. Anaka turned and blasted the man against the wall with her shout, breaking his bones, knocking him out. 

“Ana, are you okay?” Halof said, rushing to her side. The girl was visibly shaking, caught off guard like that.

Anaka nodded and hugged the boy.

“Good job, lass. He would have killed you for sure,” Brynjolf said, bending down and sliced the man’s throat so he couldn’t harm anyone else. “I have no idea what he was doing down here, and I probably don’t want to know.”

Anaka pushed her way forward now that she was calm. “I will knock and talk to the man. I have to be a leader, right?”

No one stopped the girl as she rapped on the metal door. 

“Go away,” said the voice on the other side.

“Esbern? The Thalmor are here and we have to get you out and to safety,” Anaka said.

“Oh, how reassuring! Most likely you’re with the Thalmor and this is just a trick to get me to open the door!”

“Do you seriously think the Thalmor would send a Nord girl to trap you?”

A metal slide of a peephole opened and all they could see were a pair of elderly eyes staring out, looking at Anaka, deciding to trust her or not.

“Delphine sent us to find you to help us with the dragons.”

“So Delphine keeps up the fight, after all these years. You’d better come in and tell me how you found me and what you want.”

And just like that, the man spent several minutes opening all the locks on his door. Even if the Thalmor reached the man, Vorstag wasn’t sure anyone could get in, though Esbern was trapped inside.

“There we are! Come in, come in! Make yourself at home,” Esbern said, waving a hand for everyone to enter. He was old, balding, but tall and spry.

The cell was big enough for one person to live, not so much for six people who crowded inside. Esbern was rummaging around his room, shoving people aside, looking for something, distracted. “I thought Delphine would have realized it’s hopeless by now. I tried to tell her, years ago… the end is upon us. I may as well die here as anywhere else. I’m tired of running.”

“The end is not upon us, at least not yet,” Anaka said.

“How could you be aware of such things?”

“I have visions.”

Esbern scoffed. “Visions? Haven’t you figured it out yet? What more needs to happen before you all wake-up and notice what’s going on? Alduin has returned, just like the prophecy said! The Dragon from the dawn of time, who devours the souls of the dead! No one can escape his hunger here or in the afterlife! Alduin will devour all things and the world will end. Nothing can stop him. I tried to tell them. They wouldn’t listen. Fools. It’s all come true... all I could do was watch our doom approach…”

“Alduin? Is that his name? I only had visions of a great black dragon and we have seen him twice in our travels.”

“You may see and think you understand, but you don’t! Oh, yes. It’s all been foretold. The end has begun. Alduin has returned. Only a Dragonborn can stop him. But no Dragonborn has been around for centuries. It seems the gods have grown tired of us. They’ve left us to our fate and the plaything of Alduin the World-Eater.”

“I am aware of this. As I said, I have received visions when Alduin awoke. _Zu’u los Dovahkiin_ ,” Anaka said, speaking the language of dragons she has been quickly learning.

“No, no… there hasn’t been a Dragonborn in centuries and centuries.”

Anaka stopped the man, and as she did with every other non-believer, she grasped the man by the shoulders to stop his neurotic rummaging, sending him a vision. Eyes rolled up into their heads as Anaka gave him all her visions. Esbern gasped for breath when she let him go.

“Then... then there is hope! But you’re so young… never mind that. The gods have not abandoned us! We must... we must... We must go quickly now. Take me to Delphine. We have much to discuss. Give me a moment to gather my things. Time is of the essence, but I mustn’t leave secrets for the Thalmor... there’s one more thing I must bring...” Once Esbern found a book, he shoved all that he needed inside a pack, informing them he was ready.

They all ducked in time to miss the fire spell headed their way as soon as they exited the cell. Before anyone could stop her, Anaka turned ethereal, jumped down to the Thalmor at the bottom of the stairs, who had five to their numbers. She blasted them with her stagger shout and filled the stunned elves with ice and electricity. She pulled out her golden dagger, the one Vorstag gave her on her first mission, and killed them all with barely a blink of her eyes. 

By the time the group reached Anaka, she stood stunned, looking at her bloodied hands. “ _Zu’u kriaan pah niin_ … They’re dead. I did that…” The girl was in shock at her unbridled power and slaughter. She defended herself before, but now she killed without a thought. Anaka dropped her dagger to the ground, searching the room, and rushed to whatever she was looking for—a puddle to wash off the blood.

“I killed them all,” she said. “I didn’t even think…”

Halof was the first to reach her, but she shoved him away in anger, not at him, but at herself. The boy tried not to look hurt, but he oozed it. Vorstag understood pain like that. He wasn’t squeamish about death, but he understood that despair and not wanting to be consoled. She killed before, but dragons were different and she always did so when she had no other choice. This time it appeared she did so without a thought as if it was second nature.

“Ana, stop,” he said.

“Leave me alone… I… I have to get the blood off. It won’t come off!” she cried out, tears pooling down her angry face.

“Ana!” Vorstag lifted her up to face him, hands dripping bloodied water. He rummaged through his pack and pulled out a rag and wiped her hands clean. “I understand this upsets you. But you realize they would have killed you or us without a thought, right?”

“I killed them as they would kill us!” she yelled, her voice echoing through the tunnels.

The mercenary grabbed her by the shoulders to get her to focus. “Look at me. Ana… look at me. You are not a killer and you never will be. The longer you train and are prepared to fight, the more automatic it is to protect and defend. That is what you did. It is what I do all the time.”

“You don’t understand! No one does! I felt rage… it’s… it’s inside me! Don’t you see? The dragons… they are changing me!”

If what she said was true, he was afraid it was an issue beyond him. His mind drifted back to the day he talked to Arngier. The Greybeard told him Anaka would need him for days when she was in despair, that she would need someone with similar experiences. Anaka needed him now, so he had to find a way.

“I’m aware that this is troubling, but we have to move. Who knows how many more Thalmor there are,” Brynjolf said.

“We are aware of the danger, thief,” Vorstag spat, then focused his attention back on the girl. “The thief is right, Ana. We need to go. As soon as we reach safety, let’s talk about this.”

“I don’t want to talk about this!”

There was no other way around it. She would not budge despite the danger. Anaka was too upset with herself and too young to handle the trauma. He pulled the girl into an embrace who fought him, hit him, shoved at him, but Vorstag refused to let go. Soon the fight in her eroded away, replaced by racking sobs. The last thing the mercenary wanted was for Anaka to be hardened by what she did, but mentally, she may be better off. Regardless, all the death will change her, and not necessarily for the better.

When she finally calmed down, Anaka wiped away the tears, and Vorstag let her go. Lucinia took over, wrapping an arm around the girl as they made their way out of the warrens. 

Halof looked hurt, assuming since Anaka let Vorstag soothe her and not him. The mercenary wrapped an arm about the boy’s shoulders. “Don’t take it personally, lad. We tend to push away those we are closest to. I also forced it upon her. You are more gentle with her than I am, as it should be.” He clapped Halof on the back and readied himself for more fighting. 

Fortunately, the last of the Thalmor were the ones Anaka killed. They reached outside of the Ratway, breathing the fishy air of Riften. 

“I guess this is where we part ways,” Brynjolf said, reaching to shake Vorstag’s hand, but the thief had his eyes on Lucinia. “If you ever get bored with this one, you know where to find me, lass.”

“Seriously? How about a little respect!” Vorstag snapped. “And not to me, though you are hitting on my girl while shaking my hand, but for her.” It dawned on the mercenary he wasn’t unlike Brynjolf. He too treated women the same back in Markarth and Solitude. It wasn’t until Lucinia that he learned to be better at treating women with respect.

“Apologies,” the thief said, but he didn’t look contrite in the least with his crooked smile.

“Don’t worry, I won’t,” Lucinia said to the thief, walking off. Vorstag couldn’t help but laugh at her reaction, pleased that she could hold her own against the likes of Brynjolf.

“You’re a lucky man, mercenary,” Brynjolf said, meaning it.

“I know I am.”

They didn’t make it very far before they made camp as evening drew near. They all sat around the fire in silence, still worried about Anaka. At least the girl snuggled up to Halof, who seemed better about the situation now that she was paying attention to him. 

“Tell me, Dragonborn—” Esbern said.

“It’s Anaka. My friends call me Ana.”

“Anaka. Tell me about these dragon souls. If I understood you correctly today, after your… incident, they are bothering you?”

The girl nodded. “For every dragon soul I absorb, it… hurts, makes me sick. My first soul, I passed out. The second one, I… vomited. I don’t get like that anymore, but they still make me feel ill. The souls are… raging, angry, vile. I sense them in me. It lessens with time as my body, or soul, adjusts, but we just killed a dragon before we reached Riften and it was still… angry. Or at least that is what it feels like. These souls do not want to be in me.”

“I see. Yes, yes… it’s interesting. We don’t have any account in written history of what absorbing a dragon soul would feel like from past Dragonborns,” he said, pulling out his journal and scribbling notes.

“It’s not interesting! I hate it!”

The man ignored her outburst as he prattled on with his questions. “So, did the soul today take over, or does it change you—”

“Enough!” Vorstag shouted at the old man. “Shor’s ass! Leave the girl alone. Can’t you see she’s in pain? You are not helping.”

“I’m only asking questions. It’s good for research—”

“Does it look like any of us care about your research? Delphine asked us to retrieve you, so we are. You can choose to help Anaka with her mission or you can leave her alone. But you will not torment a thinking and feeling child with your insensitive questions.”

“Well, I see… very well. Apologies, young lady,” the old man said, closing his journal.

“How are you holding up, Ana?” Vorstag asked. “Are you feeling any better?”

When she shook her head, he held out his arms to her. To Halof’s disappointment, Anaka crawled over to Vorstag and snuggled up next to him. He had been thinking about what to tell her—some words of wisdom. Instead, he told her a story about something she could relate to.

“I was only a couple of years older than you when I went to join the Imperial army after my sister died. There were no Stormcloaks at the time. I wanted to be a soldier, make my own way in life, my own gold. It was an honorable job, or so I thought. They trained me much as I train you now. I learned to use a sword properly, fight hand-to-hand combat. I was already familiar with a bow, but they pushed me to do better. It was hard, but I liked it. I grew, built my muscles, and favored the great-sword with its powerful blows. I was big enough and strong enough for it.”

“I had no idea you were a soldier,” Anaka said, perking up, taking an interest in his story.

“Aye, not for long though. I was in the army for about two years. There was no more war, but we traveled, making sure the country remained that way. They sent me and two others on a mission to clear out a small bandit camp in Falkreath. Sounds easy enough. You’re aware of how much I don’t mind riding Skyrim of bandits. It didn’t go according to plan. I was fully trained but still green in regards to experience. I had yet to see the hard side of life with soldiering, having this view that they were honorable men.”

Vorstag looked down at the girl who looked up at him, watching and listening with rapt attention. Then he looked at Lucinia, who was attentive, not hearing his story before. Halof was still pouting.

“We cleaned out the bandits, alright, but there was one female—feral. My friends, well, I thought they were my friends, tried to grab her and capture her. I thought they intended to let her live, save her somehow. But no, that was not their intention. Instead, they tied her up. I didn’t even know what was going on until I walked in on them trying to… well, I’m going to go into the details.”

“Rape her?” Anaka said. Even at fourteen, she understood the world all too well.

“Aye. One of them did. I tried to stop them, but they just laughed at my naivety. ‘This is how we are rewarded for our hard work,’ one of them explained to me as if it was the most rational thing to do. I don’t know what came over me. He was my friend, but in that moment he was just an animal in my mind—no better than the bandits we killed. I killed him, just like that. The other one fought me, but I knocked him out and tied him up. My intention was to bring him to the commander for punishment.”

“Good! I hope he got punished severely,” she said. “Then what happened?”

“I let the girl go, and I dragged him back to camp, all the while looking at the blood on my hands. I killed a friend without thinking twice about it. Now doubts coursed through me and I questioned myself and my morality. I felt dirty, angry, much like how you did with the Thalmor. Yet I pushed on and dragged my other friend’s sorry ass in front of the commander, explaining what happened,” Vorstag said, then drew quiet, hating the memories and talking about his story. He was only doing it for Anaka, but everyone heard him as they listened in silence.

“What did they do? Did he hang?” she asked.

“No. The commander looked at me as if I was the one who raped the girl. He explained to me it was the way of things. A female bandit was a prize. Then he reprimanded me for the death of a soldier and put in stocks for a week. It could have been worse, but I was still new to the way of things. All my ‘heroic’ efforts went punished and my so-called friend was let go to continue doing what he wanted.”

“I don’t understand. Why was it okay to rape that poor woman? Aren’t soldiers there to protect us?” she asked, visibly not happy by his story.

“Aye, you’re right. When they released me, I snuck out in the night, abandoning the army. I’m sure they looked for me for a while, but I wasn’t worth the gold to hunt down. Eventually, I made my way to Solitude and used my skills to help people. Being a mercenary isn’t the most honorable job, but no one will ever call me a rapist. I became disillusioned with everything and lived alone for a long time… well, you know the rest. The point of my story, Ana, is that I, too, killed without thinking. But I made that choice for the right reasons, just as you did. I understand it still upsets you, but you didn’t lash out at those you love. You lashed out at those that deserved it. Remember, these are the same people who tortured me and others. They don’t deserve your empathy and pity, but you are the better for it for having those qualities. That it upsets you, says a lot about your character.”

“What a horrible commander!” she said, giving Vorstag a hug. “I see what you are saying. I will try to remember that the next time, that I would never hurt those I care about. It is funny because I didn’t think about it until you said something. Looking back, that was exactly why I was so upset. I was afraid the same thing would happen to you all. It scared me.”

“It won’t, Ana. Now you better go back to Halof before he implodes,” he whispered to her.

“Perhaps we should see the Greybeards again. Maybe they can help her,” Lucinia suggested.

“They didn’t seem to understand anything about Anaka’s soul-sucking, but maybe you’re right. Maybe they can at least ease her pain. Fine, we will go see them after we drop off Esbern.”

They reached Riverwood a couple of days later, free of trouble from bandits, dragons or anything else that wished them harm. 

Delphine impatiently waited for them to finish eating and resting before dragging them all to the cellar to discuss the dragons and the Dragonborn. 

“Finally,” she said. “Esbern, it’s good to see you. I’m glad you live.”

“Likewise, Delphine,” he said, pulling out a map, spreading it out on the table in front of him. He was as impatient as Delphine to get to the bottom of things. “Let’s see, yes. Here. You see here. This is where we need to go. That is where Skyhaven Temple is located and inside we will find Alduin’s wall.”

“What is Alduin’s Wall,” Vorstag asked.

“The ancient Akaviri Dragonguard, the forerunners of the Blades, created it. One of the lost secrets of the Blades. They recorded all they knew of Alduin and his return. Part history, part prophecy. Its location was lost for centuries, but I know where it is: Sky Haven Temple, an ancient Blades sanctuary, hidden within the crags of the Reach.”

“It looks like it’s near Karthspire, which is a very dangerous area, riddled with Forsworn.”

“Then you’re familiar with the area?” Esbern asked.

“Aye, I lived two years in the Reach.”

“How will this wall help?” Anaka asked.

“It’s the prophecy, don’t you see? Only a Dragonborn can stop Alduin and avert the end of the world! But... I don’t yet know how you can stop him. The prophecy doesn’t say. But Alduin’s Wall does. I hope.”

“We can meet there,” Delphine said.

Vorstag shook his head. “Not right now. We have to see the Greybeards.”

“We need to go now. There’s no time to waste!”

“Make the time. Anaka needs some help and if she doesn’t get it, she won’t be much use to anyone. Or you can go fight the dragons by yourselves. It’s your choice,” he said, leaving no room for argument.

“Fine, send word when you’re ready.”

“Halof, go send word to your parents by courier we are going to see the Greybeards so they don’t worry.”

The boy nodded and ran out of the Inn.

“I don’t know how long we will be gone. It could be a week or more. Then we have to go home for a while and rest.”

“Try not to be gone too long,” Delphine said. “Time is of the essence.”

“Despite being the Dragonborn, Anaka is still a child, not a hardened warrior,” he said, holding up a hand to stop the woman from interrupting. “And I know what you’re about to say so you can shut it. It will harden her soon enough. There’s no need to speed things up.”

Anaka spent two weeks of training under the Greybeards, not to study shouts but to meditate and learn to control her storming mind. It was difficult at first for her to silence the souls in her, but soon she could tame them to an extent. It calmed her and by the time they were ready to head home, she was a new person, full of smiles and laughter again. 

Two days after that, they were home again. After they cleaned up, they went to Jolf and Gretga’s home for dinner to discuss everything that happened. Vorstag was dreading the dragon part, but he told himself he would tell his brother and Gretga the truth. 

When they arrived, Vorstag was greeted by a squealing five-year-old, lifting the boy in the air, tossing him. His niece, much more calm and reserved, embraced her uncle, welcoming him home.

After dinner, Gretga was holding Jolf’s hand as the mercenary told them the story, her hand to her heart when he explained how Halof saved Anaka’s life.

“That’s it... Halof, you aren’t going out ever again. You are to stay home where it’s safe,” Gretga insisted.

“That’s not fair! I helped kill a dragon, and I saved her life. Is that not proof enough that I can do this? I’m almost sixteen and a man. You can’t make me stay!”

“Halof! That is no way to talk to your mother!” Jolf scolded.

The boy deflated, not wanting to disappoint his parents, but he stood his ground. “I’m sorry, father, but I can do this. I work hard every morning with training before we travel to make sure I can help and survive. There are four of us and we work together. Sure, I got hurt, but Lucinia healed me. Please. I want to do this. I can do it.”

Jolf looked to Vorstag for help, but the boy had proven himself. “I will not tell him no, Jolf, which is what you want me to say. You can tell him. He has shown to be responsible and a quick thinker. He is also very respectful. You taught the boy well, both of you. I’m also not going to lie. Karthspire is going to be dangerous. The Forsworn rule the Reach, but I am familiar with the area and I know how to fight them. Anaka took on several Thalmor by herself. Between all of us, we should be fine.”

Gretga wasn’t happy that Jolf agreed with Vorstag, and Halof could continue to travel with them. “I suppose my boy has to grow up sometime,” she relented, dabbing away tears.

“I feel so good. I don’t want to go back out again. It’s nice to be strong and be able to fight, but I don’t want to. I mean… I will do what needs to be done, but I’m happy right now,” Anaka said as she, Vorstag and Lucinia walked through town on the way home.

“We have a few days to rest before we go, but I understand. I wish I could tell you to go and live your life, but you wouldn’t, even if I did,” Vorstag said.

Lucinia pulled the girl into an embrace and kissed her cheek. Vorstag smiled at the size difference with Anaka growing taller than Lucinia. It was the Nord in the girl. “Never forget your not alone, sweetheart.”

After Anaka headed to bed, Vorstag pulled Lucinia close to him. “I missed you and your body, mage.” The mercenary lifted her up to him so he didn’t have to bend over to kiss her. 

“I missed your body as well, mercenary.”

After they made love, Lucinia was lying on top of him like a human blanket, both of them out of breath, twirling a finger through his chest hair. “Do you think she will be OK?”

“I honestly don’t know. All we can do is help her as best we can and hope for the best.”

“I worry about all these souls she’s absorbing. It’s not natural. I can’t imagine having those creatures swimming in my own soul. I can see how she feels fouled by it all.”

“She needs to keep up with her meditations. They seem to help.”

“At least she has people who love her.”

“Aye, she does that, but I don’t like the Greybeards sending her on more missions to discover those word walls. I understand she needs to speak as dragons do, but even just a few so far, and she’s overwhelmed.”

They both laid there in silence, thinking about Anaka, unsure what else to do for the girl.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! Comments are always appreciated and welcome. <3


	20. Formidable Forsworn

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> As the four head to meet Delphine and Esbern in the Reach, they run into trouble with the Forsworn, kidnapping the Dragonborn in the middle of the night. Now it's a rescue mission.

As soon as they entered the Reach, Vorstag was on high-alert. It was Forsworn territory and they were known to hide up in the cliffs waiting to ambush weary travelers. If they stuck to the roads, the group should be fine, but Vorstag didn’t like that fog rolling in. The area was a deep valley and was frequently shrouded in fog as the cold air above sunk into the warmer temperatures below. It was another reason the Forsworn managed to retain their hold in the Reach, using the fog to their advantage.

Vorstag sent word to Delphine that they would meet up outside of Karthspire in a week's time. Meanwhile, they would attack Lost Valley Redoubt. He didn’t like it. The mercenary wondered if the Greybeards were out of their minds sending Anaka to attack a Forsworn stronghold, Word Wall or no Word Wall. The larger camps were also protected by hagravens, witches that were part raven, part human. They were strong spellcasters of destruction magic. No, he didn’t like it all, but Anaka insisted. 

“We need to find a place to camp before targeting the Redoubt to rest up and eat. This will be the hardest job we have ever done, so we need to be at our strongest. I still don’t like it, dammit,” he complained.

“You told us about the Forsworn. Perhaps the less Forsworn the better,” Anaka said.

Vorstag wondered about the girl’s train of thought. It wasn’t long ago she was crying over the death of the Thalmor she killed. “Yes, but at what cost? These people are not to be trifled with. There’s a reason they have held onto the Reach for so long. I know of a place to camp, away from them, to stop for the night. We should be there in an hour or so.”

“I need that Wall, Mr. Vorstag.”

“I know you do. Give me a ruin over the Forsworn and hagravens any day..”

“We’ve been training hard, love. Anaka knows several shouts already that will stop a lot of them. The Forsworn may be formidable, but so are we. They will not expect Anaka,” Lucinia said.

“And these people have been training all their lives. They are barbaric.”

“We can do this,” Halof chimed in.

“I know when I’ve been overruled,” Vorstag grumbled.

The day was cooling down as evening descended upon them and they managed to make camp before it got too dark. The area was quiet except for the moving waters of the river next to them. He chose this area so they could get cleaned up and water the horses, and it was close to the road, hoping there wouldn’t be any Forsworn to ambush them, though he knew sleep would elude him from the worry.

“I’m going to get us dinner,” Halof announced.

“Be careful, please.”

While Halof was gone hunting, the rest set up the tents and built a large fire. When they were done, Vorstag stripped off his armor, not wanting to sleep in it. It was always a relief to be free of the heavy metal and leather. He stretched to work out his muscle kinks and ambled over a few steps to the river to drink and wash the grime from his face.

“There will be no training in the morning. We will need to conserve all our energy,” he said when sat down by the fire. 

Halof returned shortly after struggling to drag a giant mud crab back to camp. They were heavy and hard to break but cooked, it could feed all of them well. Vorstag helped the boy drag it onto the fire to roast in its shell. 

“Nice work, nephew. It will be a nice tasty treat and feed us well.”

“What can we expect at the Forsworn camp?” Lucinia asked while they were eating.

“The Forsworn are brutal. They will kill first, ask questions later. Each camp is different, but if this is a redoubt, it will be well-fortified. There will be traps, sentries tucked away to pluck us off with arrows. They will have the numbers as well. Let’s not forget the hagravens, who are their matriarchs, witches. They have destruction magic, but they also have this ability to create Forsworn Briarheart men. They remove their hearts, essentially killing them, and replacing them with enchanted briar hearts.”

“Why would the witches do such a thing?” Lucinia asked.

“It makes them stronger, I suppose, who knows.”

“Not to change the subject… Okay, to change the subject, we should have a name,” Halof said.

“What do you mean by a name?” Anaka asked, who was snuggled into Halof by the fire.

“I mean there are four of us. We are a guild in a way, right? Maybe if we have a name, it would help us fight and define our purpose.”

“I don’t think that’s necessary,” Vorstag said.

“Come on. It will be fun!”

“No.”

“Fine, I will start. How about… Guardians of the One?” Halof suggested.

“I like it, Halof,” Anaka said, kissing his cheek.

“You would like anything that boy said, Ana,” Vorstag quipped.

“True,” she giggled.

“What about Protectors of Skyrim,” Lucinia offered.

“Boring.” Halof said.”Hmm, maybe The Dragon Guild.”

Vorstag scoffed. “Sounds like we are a bunch of dragons who created a guild.”

Anaka snuggled in tighter to the boy. “I like that one too, Halof.”

The mercenary tried not to roll his eyes but wasn’t successful. “You would.”

“Well, if you don’t like it, let’s see you come up with something better?” Halof suggested.

“No.”

Halof huffed at his uncle. “You’re no fun, Uncle.”

“Dovahkiin’s Gang?”

“You’re terrible at this, Lucy,” Halof laughed.

“Dragon Killers?”

“Stop making suggestions, Lucy. Please.”

Lucinia huffed and waved the boy away. “Fine, I don’t want to play anyway.”

“What about the Protectors of the Voice?” Anaka suggested.

“That’s really good, Ana. We will put that on our mental list.”

Vorstag did roll his eyes that time, but he couldn’t help the smile and laugh. The two teens couldn’t do wrong by each other had they tried. 

“I know! Since we are meeting up with the Blades and they served to protect the Dragonborn, how about The Dovah Blades?”

“I love it, Halof! What do you think, Mr. Vorstag?”

“I don’t care, just don’t be calling us that in public,” Vorstag said, his face deadpanned.

“You’re so funny!”

“I wasn’t joking.”

Vorstag’s eyes popped open, alert. He didn’t bother to figure out the time of night or rub the sleep out of his eyes because he knew something was wrong. He crawled out of the tent, sword drawn to see the camp surrounded by Forsworn, holding Anaka at knifepoint to her throat, mouth gagged. _How did they know?_

“Drop it, if you want her to live,” said a female Forsworn, wearing tribal gear of skimpily clad leather and bones, feathers adorned her braided hair.

“As if you won’t kill her anyway,” he said, not dropping his weapon.

“Our intentions are not to harm the child, but we will if you force us to. Our matriarch wishes to have the girl, so we are taking her.”

“Uncle, we can take them! Don’t let them take her!” Halof shouted, fear on his face, bow ready.

“Stupid boy. Your girl will be dead as soon as you shoot that arrow. There are more of us than what you see here in camp, tucked away behind cliffs and stone. You do not stand a chance.”

Lucinia and Halof were looking to him for answers, but he knew well enough there was only one option. The mercenary tossed his sword on the ground, hands raised. They had to live to fight another day, to hunt them down and get Anaka back.

“Wise choice,” the Forsworn said. “If you come after us, expect retaliation. The three of you don’t stand a chance to infiltrate our redoubt. Leave us alone and let the hags have the Dragonborn, then you can live.”

Vorstag stood, arms folded in irritation, not showing the fear he felt for the girl. “You will kill us all by doing this, you realize. She has a mission to kill the great dragon.”

“We know what her purpose is. The matriarchs have seen it. Remember my words.” 

The tears that pooled out of Anaka’s eyes killed him. She was begging for help with her pleading eyes and there was nothing he could do except try to convey to her with a look that he wouldn’t abandon her.

As soon as they were gone, Halof came at his uncle with a fist, ready to attack, but Vorstag caught him before he could do anything. “How could you let her go! You, asshole!”

Instead of getting angry, he pulled the boy into an embrace and held him until he started weeping. “We aren’t going to abandon her. You should know enough of me by now that I wouldn’t do that, but we have to be smart about this. We can’t rush off after her and we cannot kill all the Forsworn that we cannot see. I know enough we were surrounded. They had the cover of darkness, while we were surrounded by firelight. We didn’t stand a chance.”

Vorstag could see tears in Lucinia’s eyes too. She was sleeping next to Anaka in the tent and probably blamed herself. “We will find her,” he whispered. Lucinia just nodded, arms wrapped about her body.

“Dawn is two hours away. We didn’t get the sleep we needed, but it will have to do. As soon as it is light, we head to the Redoubt and get our Ana back. We have to be very smart about this and go in as stealthy as possible—take out as many Forsworn as we can. They will be expecting us, so we don’t have that element of surprise. 

“What’s the plan?” she asked.

The mercenary, the uncle, pushed away Halof and had him sit by the fire while they strategized. “Let’s use ranged weapons as much as possible. Lucinia, I want you to focus on protecting Halof from magic as much as you can. I have your amulet and I’m pleased to say it works. The arrows are going to be tricky. Our main target will be to kill those up high on sentry duty. I will lead and watch for traps.”

“What do you think they want from her?”

“I don’t know, but it’s clear it’s for their own purposes. They couldn’t care less if the world burns as long as they are the ones left standing. I wonder if the witches even realize they will die too unless Anaka kills the black dragon.”

Halof wiped his nose with the back of his hand, calmed himself. “They will die if they harm a hair on her head.”

“Let’s not go in there in a rush of anger, Halof. That will be a sure-fire way to get you killed. We will go in there calm and clear-headed. Do you understand? If you want her back safely and all of us alive, you are going to follow my lead. We need you, but I won’t hesitate to leave you behind if I feel you will be more of a hindrance to us.”

“I am angry, but I will follow your lead, Uncle.”

When dawn arrived, they ate enough to be full, but not too full to weigh them down. Vorstag sheathed his great-sword on his back, his long sword by his side, a dagger on his belt, and another crammed in his boot. He wanted to bring his pack and fill it with potions, but it would only slow them down. Lucinia would focus on protecting and healing while the mercenary and Halof focused on ranged shots. He would also handle the brunt of the melee fighting, keeping the boy at a distance. Lucinia would fight as well, but her main purpose was to protect. Only she carried potions to restore her Magicka.

“Let’s go.”

They took the horses and rode several miles West until they reached the path to take them up the side of the mountain where the redoubt was located, nestled between ancient ruins. Tying up the horses, Vorstag led the way up the mountain path. They took their time, hiding behind rocks and trees. The Forsworn were alert and ready for them, but they were not discovered yet. There was one man high up on some ancient overlook. Halof was a good shot, but Vorstag was better. The sentry was away from the others, and he crossed his fingers the man’s death would go unnoticed as he fired his arrow landing straight through the head. It killed him instantly and he fell below to the ground, the rushing waters of the falls masking the sound of his drop. 

All three held their collective breaths to see if there was a reaction from the Forsworn, but none noticed yet. Vorstag pointed forward for them to proceed. Another Forsworn was gutting an animal at a table away from the others and the mercenary fired an arrow through his head as well. So far, none had taken notice.

Vorstag knew it would only be a matter of time before they were noticed as they neared the camp, large tents erected, making it difficult to see who was where. It was early and many appeared to be sleeping. The mercenary had no qualms about killing them in their sleep. Tucked away behind a tent, he kept his eyes trained high. If he, Lucinia, and Halof were in danger, it would be from above. There were two sentries pacing an aqueduct with overlooks. If he killed them, their deaths would alert the Forsworn below. It was a dilemma he wasn’t ready for yet, attempting to keep out of sight from those above. First, they needed to kill the Forsworn below on the first left of the redoubt. 

The sweep below was easy since most were still sleeping. One of the Forsworn noticed the sentry was dead and went on the defense, but Vorstag killed him before he could give the alert. The mercenary appreciated the loudness of the waterfalls. If it were silent as the Reach tended to be, they would already be discovered or dead.

Stopped by a stone wall before they progressed, Vorstag issued instructions. “I don’t think we can make it past the sentries without alerting the rest of the Forsworn. Lucinia, as Halof and I attack, I want you to blast them off the aqueducts. Their fall should kill them,” he whispered.

Up ahead on the path was a giant mammoth head with tusks meant to impale the unwary. Vorstag knew a trap when he saw one. It was simple enough to walk around it. Setting it off, even if it didn’t kill them would alert the Forsworn. 

Regardless the sentries gave the alarm and Lucinia blasted them off as she was instructed, protecting them from being killed from above. She then cast a fire atronach to help with the fighting while she was ready with wards and restoration.

Halof was ready with his arrows and Vorstag ran into the melee. He was blasted a few times with ice, fire, and lightning, but Lucinia’s amulet protected him while she protected Halof. It still hurt like shit, but he could keep going, cutting the Forsworn one by one. The barbarians were like roaches as they kept coming, which was wearing him down. As strong as he was, there was only so long he could swing a heavy great-sword, his arm muscles burning. His only fear was they had the wrong location for Anaka, but it was the most logical one.

Fireballs lobbed past his head, too close, from the flame atronach taking out a Forsworn Briarheart. While the creature was no match for the man, disintegrating in a fiery explosion, the man was distracted as the mercenary lopped his head off.

The area was finally clear of Forsworn. Vorstag panted, his body and muscles hurting from exertion, but felt a wave of warmth travel through his body as Lucinia healed him. “Thanks,” he said.

“Where is she?” yelled Halof, looking inside every tent. “I can’t find her! We have the wrong place!”

“There’s another level. I can see the steps in the distance there. I don’t think we are done, so calm down. You need to keep your head. I’m almost certain this is where the Forsworn brought her. It is the closest encampment.”

“But what if she’s not here?”

“Then we move on to the next camp. They won’t kill her if they need her.”

“But she could be hurt or… or worse!”

“Calm down! Breathe. We can’t find her if you’re in a panic.”

But the boy was beside himself, pacing. It was evident his thoughts were becoming erratic with worry. Lucinia grabbed Halof and cast a spell on him, watching him calm down and stop pacing. 

“Feel better?” she asked.

Halof nodded, breathing. “What did you do?”

“Just a simple calming spell. Vorstag is right, you need to calm down.”

“Halof, keep focus, and calm down. I’m sure we will reach the hagravens soon. I want you to hang back, out of sight with an arrow trained on them.”

“I will.”

Vorstag took the boy by the shoulders forcing him to look at his uncle. “I mean it. Keep calm. You won’t be able to help her if we are all dead. She may be injured or worse. Stay calm; go insane later. Got it?”

Halof swallowed hard and nodded. The mercenary knew the boy was envisioning all that could happen to Anaka, but he had to warn the boy and have him ready to fight.

Slowly, quietly, they walked up the ancient steps, past the aqueducts. No one could be seen as they crossed a small river and waterfall. The only sign there were hagravens close by were the telltale evidence of blood, taproots, and heads of spriggans and goats. They were close. Ducking behind a stone pillar, Vorstag looked out and saw two hagravens working on a Forsworn Briarheart, oblivious of what happened below, but perhaps, they knew. He wasn’t taking any chances. 

There she was, lying on the floor of a cage next to a Word Wall. She probably absorbed the wall, but Anaka was out. He couldn’t tell if she was dead, injured, or just sleeping. Next to the cage were two Forsworn guarding her, one of them the same woman who took the girl.

“Come. You are here for a girl you cannot have,” said one of the hagravens.

Vorstag sighed and came out, sword drawn and ready with Lucinia close behind. Halof was tucked away, out of sight with an arrow trained on one of them. “She’s not yours to have. Is she dead?” he asked, his stomach fluttered with worry that she was.

“She lives,” said the hagraven

“You’re right, matriarch. They were stupid enough to come here,” said the Forsworn woman.

“Would you leave behind?” asked the other hagraven to the woman.

“I suppose not. They are still stupid.”

“Stupid killed our clan, girl,” said hagraven number one.

“Or else they would not get this far,” said hagraven number two.

“Give us the girl and we will let you live,” Vorstag demanded.

“You cannot have her,” said one of the witches. Both of the hagravens readied their spells knowing Vorstag wouldn’t take no for an answer. 

Before anyone took any action, an arrow protruded out of the hagraven’s eye while more whistled by Vorstag’s head, aiming for the other witch and Forsworn. 

The mercenary ran towards the remaining hagraven as she blasted him with fire, and while his amulet protected him, he still burned. Lucinia blocked him with a ward spell, but he hag was too powerful and she had to focus on the Forsworn.

Fuck the fire hurt as he pressed forward as fast as he could. He screamed from the pain and lunged his sword straight through her heart, ending the infernal fire and collapsed with her death. It must have been over because Lucinia used her remaining power to heal him. 

“I don’t know what I would do without you,” he said, wanting to hold her, but they needed to get Anaka out of there. 

“Here! I found the keys on the Forsworn body,” Halof said, rushing to unlock the cage. 

With the witches dead, Anaka started to wake up. Despite her mouth being covered, they must have kept her under a spell to keep her under control. Halof removed her gag and pulled her into a hug, trying to control his fears and emotions. She weakly hugged him back from still waking up, but she was otherwise uninjured. 

“This was not how I was expecting to reach the Word Wall,” she said.

“I was so scared, Ana,” Halof said, voice tremulous from emotion.

Vorstag and Lucinia also hugged the girl in their relief, pleased to see she was unharmed. “Why did they take you, Ana? Did they say?” Lucinia asked.

She shook her head. “I have no idea. They knocked me out right after we left camp. I haven’t been aware until just now.”

“I’m so glad we found you! The Dovah Blades strikes again, this time to protect their Dragonborn,” Halof said in half laugh half gasped worry.

“Are you well enough to head back to camp, Ana?” Vorstag asked.

“Yes, I think so. They didn’t hurt me. I just wish I knew what they wanted.”

Vorstag didn’t respond, but he had a good idea. Hagravens were known to experiment and tinker in necromancy. He had a feeling they wanted to see how Anaka worked as the Dragonborn and replicate her powers, but he wasn’t about to tell her that. No sense in worrying her further, but they would be much more alert here on out and diligent in protecting her. 

“We are going to have to take turns watching over Ana at night while we are in the Reach from now on.”

“Agreed,” Lucinia said.

When they made it back to camp, it was late afternoon, so they decided to stay the night once more. At least the area was cleaned out of Forsworn. They should reach Delphine and Esbern in two days, but their troubles won’t be over. They still had Karthspire to deal with. Maybe there would be a way around the Forsworn to reach the temple. He would know more when they reached the area.

“Let’s pull our bedrolls out by the fire to sleep together instead of separated in the tents.”

“I will take first watch,” Halof said. 

“That’s fine, but make sure you keep the fire going. I’m beat anyway. Wake me up in four hours.”

Lucinia pulled her bedroll close to Vorstag. “I’m sorry. I feel like I failed you, Anaka. I should have heard them coming.”

“It’s okay, Lucy. It’s not your fault. No one heard them coming,” she said.

“I heard them, but I was still too late. You aren’t battle-hardened, Lucy. It takes years to wake up in an instant knowing something is wrong. It’s not your fault,” Vorstag explained, pulling her in close, kissing her head. 

This time, Vorstag slept with his stinking, burned armor on, sword by his side so he was ready for anything. He was going to have to purchase new armor. The one he was wearing was barely serviceable thanks to all the spells cast on him. His amulet protected him and his armor, but it wasn’t perfect. The mercenary realized in the end, it didn’t matter. The people he cared about were alive and well.

When they crossed the bridge over the Karthspire river, he could see two people camping in the distance, knowing they were Delphine and Esbern. 

“Good. You’re here and right on time,” Delphine said. “Karthspire is up ahead about a mile North and is littered with Forsworn.”

“Is there a way around them?” Vorstag asked, sidestepping any greeting. He didn’t care about her or Esbern. They were a means to an end only.

“There is, but it’s going to be hard. If they spot us, we won’t have a choice but to face them. The cave to the temple is up on a cliff overlooking the camp.”

“I am sure there will be Forsworn in the cave as well.”

“No doubt,” she said. “Do you need some rest or can we go?”

Vorstag looked at Anaka for the answer. It was her destiny after all.

“We can go now.”

Leaving Snowball and Bubbles at the camp, they prayed no one would hurt them or take them, but the camp was situated far enough away from civilization. Before they reached the cave entrance, they stopped and surveyed the area. There were a few Forsworn by the cave entrance and the whole camp below was organized. It seemed there was no way around them. They were going to have to fight their way through. Cursing their luck, they held back to make plans and strategies.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading! Comments are always appreciated! <3
> 
> Now, I'm going to hide under my bed for the next few days. It's election day tomorrow here.


	21. The Temple and Other Problems

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The four finally meet with Delphine and Esbern and wipe out the Forsworn so they can finally enter the Skyhaven Temple. After all that Esbern informs them, he has no information and that he has to research first. All the while Anaka gets more and more withdrawn. Lucinia has some news that will change her relationship with Vorstag forever.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> After the Temple, we skip ahead to nearly a year later as they still wait for word from Esbern.

“We can do this, Mr. Vorstag… I can do this,” Anaka said. “The last Forsworn wouldn’t have been as much of an issue was I not tied up and gagged. Now I’m free and I can do more than before.”

“Let’s not get cocky, now. Regardless of your growing talent, we can’t just go rushing off without a plan,” he said.

“And now you have the two of us. I am good with a blade and I have evaded the Thalmor for decades. Esbern is a talented conjurer. We should be able to handle whatever the Forsworn toss at us, but you’re right, we need a plan,” Delphine said.

“I can take out at least two of them camping by the cave, like the last time,” Halof suggested.

Lucinia nodded in agreement with Halof. “I can do my wards and healing as we did at the last camp.”

“Who knows, maybe the damned Jarl of Markarth, who refuses to do anything about this fucking Forsworn problem, will reward us,” Vorstag said. “Alright, let’s go, and be careful.”

Halof pulled Anaka into an embrace, looking down at her, and kissed her forehead. The boy was growing taller by the day; it seemed. “Ana, after I shoot my arrows, blast them with that shout of yours, then I can take care of the other one.”

“Once it starts, be prepared for all of them to come at us and keep an eye out for a hagraven,” Vorstag warned.

Halof readied an arrow, hands stable as he took aim and let his arrow fly. It found its mark and before the Forsworn man fell; the boy was firing another. The second one didn’t kill the Forsworn woman, but the third arrow did. It alerted two Forsworn, coming towards the attackers when Anaka blasted them with her stagger shout. There was no need for extra arrows since the bodies flew off the cliff to the land below. 

“That’s damned amazing, Ana,” Halof said.

As expected, they alerted the entire camp below the cliff to their presence. Anaka pulled out her sword, readied a fireball on the other hand, and ran out to face the enemy. Vorstag cursed her rushing, but she was also becoming a leader. He had to trust her to handle herself in battle. She was certainly talented enough. Lobbing fireballs down below, Anaka thrust her sword at one of the Forsworn coming at her, killing him. Before she was too afraid to kill, but she was learning it was them or her. Anaka hit them with her ice shout that froze several Forsworn, allowing the rest of them to cut them down. 

“Ana, watch out!” Vorstag yelled as a Forsworn came up behind her with a sword. She must have heard him as she turned ethereal, the blade slicing through nothing but air. Halof was quick with his bow, killing the man before Anaka had a chance.

The mercenary grunted as an arrow penetrated his thigh. Gritting his teeth, he yanked it out. “Leave it!” he yelled when Lucinia came to heal him. He wanted her to focus on the kids. But the warmth spread through his leg, healing him anyway.

“No, you will bleed out. It’s done,” she said, running off as she conjured a flame atronach.

By the time it was over, fire engulfed the entire camp that wasn’t stone, turning it to smoldering ruins. There was indeed a hagraven who was killed between Delphine and Halof working together. Everyone had injuries one way or another as Lucinia walked around healing everyone. It took two bottles of Magicka to do it, but everyone was well enough to face what was inside the cave. Vorstag hoped it wouldn’t be too many more. 

“That’s two large camps gone,” Lucinia said. “The Reach is safer for it.”

“It’s not over yet,” Vorstag warned. “We still have to face what’s inside the cave.”

“It’s a victory regardless, love. They won’t be able to rebuild this.”

He couldn’t help but smile at her optimism. The mercenary never dared to hope, not until the battle was completely over, afraid to jinx things. “True enough.”

After a quick rest, they readied themselves for more fighting inside the cave. The Forsworn were deeper in, which explained why they didn’t hear the battle ensuing in their camp. They used the area mainly for storage and only three Forsworn were inside, who were quickly killed.

“That’s a relief,” Vorstag said. 

“Yes, let’s proceed deeper in. The Temple should be this way,” Esbern said, leading the way with Anaka close behind.

Exiting the cave brought them to the sight of ancient ruins, ruins that didn’t look like the typical sort dotting throughout Skyrim’s landscape. It was unique and beautiful in a crumbling sort of way.

“The ancient Akaviri, the Dragonguard, built this temple,” Esbern explained, his face in awe by what surrounded them. “There’s a bridge over there that we have to cross, but it is lifted. We need to find a way to lower it to get across.”

Walking up a flight of stone steps led to a puzzle that wasn’t dissimilar to those found in the Nordic ruins. 

“This is a puzzle, right?” Anaka asked.

“Yes, yes, see there? These are Akaviri symbols, and that is the symbol of the Dragonborn. Move then to match all three.”

The symbol looked like two dragon heads facing each other into a shape similar to a heart. Anaka moved the first one and the middle one to match the third. They had not been moved in some time, and Vorstag helped her to turn the pillars. Sure enough, the bridge dropped with a loud creaking and clanking noise from misuse and dropped with a bang against the stone.

“Whatever you did, it worked. Let’s see what else those old Blades left in our way,” Delphine said.

Slowly, with weapons drawn, not knowing what to expect, they walked through another cave pathway until they came to a small chamber with the same symbols, but all over the floor. 

“This is clearly a trap,” Vorstag said.

Anaka nodded and walked forward, careful with each step. “I know what to do. I step on my symbol. There is a chain over there. Stay back while I pull it.”

“Careful, Ana. Pulling it could be a trap too,” Lucinia said.

Her progress was slow, not wanting to step on the wrong tile or trigger. Some were old and worn, and it took a moment to read the floor. Once she was through, Anaka pulled the chain. There was a loud rumbling noise as a false wall of stone opened up and through the doorway another stone bridge dropped, opening a path for them to the next challenge.

They made their way up a flight of stone steps and through another cave pathway, which brought them to a large ancient chamber with a massive carved head in the wall. 

“That’s interesting,” Lucinia said. “Look at that head. I have seen nothing like this.”

“Mage, you’ve barely seen anything until you met me,” Vorstag quipped.

“Yes, life is never dull with you around, mercenary,” Lucinia laughed.

Esbern, torch in hand, walked around the cavernous room, then approached the center, looking down at the floor. “Wonderful! Remarkably well preserved, too. Ah, here’s the blood seal. Another of the lost Akaviri arts. It is no doubt triggered by... well, blood. Your blood, Dragonborn. Look here! You see how the ancient Blades revered Reman Cyrodiil. This whole place appears to be a shrine to Reman. He ended the Akaviri invasion under mysterious circumstances. After the so-called ‘battle’ of Pale Pass, the Akaviri went into his service. This was the foundation stone of the Second Empire.”

“I remember reading something about him, but it was only in passing at the College. He was revered as a god once by the Imperials, right? Not long though,” Lucinia said.

“Yes, that is right. They stopped worshiping him around the Third Era,” Esbern said.

“Come here, girl. You will need to give your blood in the center of this ring on the ground.”

Anaka nodded, standing next to the circle, looking down. It was clear she didn’t want to bleed, but she steeled herself as she bit her bottom lip, pulling out her Elven dagger.

“I can do it if you want, Ana,” Halof offered.

She shook her head, insisting she do it, and hissed in pain as she dragged the blade across her palm. The girl didn’t cry, letting the blood drip onto the ground. When she finished, Lucinia healed her hand and Halof kissed it for good measure.

The circles on the floor reacted to the Dragonborn blood, turning right, then left until all lined up perfectly. The ancient stone head lifted to the ceiling, opening the way into the Temple.

Halof wrapped his arm around Anaka and kissed the top of her head, always trying to keep her spirits up. “You did it, Ana!” 

“That’s done it! Look, it’s coming to life! You did it. There’s the entrance. After you, Dragonborn. You should have the honor of being the first to set foot in Sky Haven Temple,” Delphine said.

Esbern was in awe. “There’s no telling what we might find inside!”

Anaka led the way up the stone steps and through a door carved with the Akaviri symbol for the Dragonborn. The doors opened up what they assumed to be the Temple. Delphine walked around lighting braziers and with each one lit, the temple awed even Vorstag. It was massive and still well preserved. 

“This is… amazing,” he said. “Look at that carving over there.”

Anaka walked over to the carved wall that told of some battle between the people and dragons. All of them were touching the carvings, trying to figure out the story told there. 

“It’s beautiful. Is this what we needed to find? Is this going to give me the answer I need to defeat Alduin?” Anaka asked.

“Yes, I believe so. I will need time to analyze the wall. I knew it was here, but it is the first time I have ever seen it. It’s going to take me some time,” Esbern said.

“What do I do now, then?”

“Now? You do what you must from stopping the dragons, learning your shouts. I will send word to you when I have this fully analyzed. For now Delphine and I will make this our home base.”

While the temple was beautiful, it was disappointing not to have any answers after everything they went through. “How long do you think this will take? It seems like we went through a lot of trouble to not have any answers,” Vorstag said.

“I can’t rightly guess. It could take weeks or months,” Esbern shrugged.

“Not helpful. Fine, let’s get going then. We should head home to rest before we have to hunt down more walls.”

The snow was coming down in thick clumps, making visibility difficult. The wind didn’t help with the aim of their bows. They expected the dragon. Word had spread around Skyrim about the return of the Dragonborn and her ability to stop the dragon menace. The Jarl of Whiterun sent word that a dragon had been prowling around Shearpoint, a mountain to the east of Whiterun. 

After killing several dragons over the past ten months, the group was getting quite proficient at bringing them down. Anaka, especially, was growing stronger with each dragon soul and word consumed. 

What was not expected was the boney, flying draugr in a mask. It burst from it’s coffin, lobbing fireballs at them. He, or it, was a powerful spell caster with fire and a staff. It proved to be harder to kill than the dragon, though, to be fair, it caught them all off guard when Anaka approached the Word Wall to absorb her powers. As she learned, the creature tried to kill them all.

“What the fuck was that thing?” Vorstag asked, out of breath. 

“I don’t know,” Lucinia said, healing every one of burn injuries.

“I learned three words that seem useless to me, but maybe they will come in handy. I now can throw my voice for tricking enemies, I suppose.” She stooped and lifted the mask off the pile of bones. “Look at this thing. It’s a mask. There’s power here,” Anaka said, shoving it in her pack. “Here you should have this staff, Lucinia. It’s powerful, as our wounds can attest.”

Lucinia took the staff and tried to heal Anaka, who shoved her away, not wanting to bother with the healing. She was gentle about it, and Lucinia tried not to show her hurt, but the mage forced the issue until the girl was fully healed. 

The girl had grown distant with everyone, wearing her injuries like a badge. Vorstag couldn’t even remember the last time she laughed. Not only did she grow more powerful, but it darkened her. It was something the mercenary was struggling to deal with, unable to help her. Even Halof was having difficulty reaching her, and the two were as close as a couple could get. Despite her daily meditations, she was having a rough go of it.

Bear, her dog, now trained, never left her side nor did Halof. The two were the only ones who could ever get Anaka to smile. Even then it was only half-hearted. 

Her fifteenth birthday came and went with little fanfare. The year before she was a happy teen, laughing, eager for a party. Now, no one could get her to care. The only thing that touched her was the amulet Halof made for her and had enchanted to keep her Magicka flowing. He carved it from some mammoth tusk with an intricate Nord design. It was the only thing that pulled any emotion out of her.

Vorstag knew she was eager to be over and done with the dragon business, but they still had no word from Esbern. It went on for so long; they went to Skyhaven Temple a few months back to make sure the man was still alive. He was so engrossed in his research; he forgot to send word that he was still studying but promised it would be soon. Now three months later, and almost a year since they found the Temple, it dragged on with no more answers than they had before. All the while, Anaka grew worse.

“Are you OK, Ana?” Halof asked. He wanted to hold her, but he was afraid she would push him away as she was now prone to do. Halof took the chance and wrapped an arm around her. This time Anaka allowed it and rested her head on his shoulder. 

The boy was nearly as tall as Vorstag, his red hair to his shoulder with a braid dangling from the side. He had scruff growing on his face and looked more like a man than a teen boy.

“I’m fine,” she said. “Always fine. I keep going, killing, absorbing and nothing changes as the souls consume my own and my mind. I have to remind myself to speak the common tongue and not dragon.”

It was the first time in a long while she discussed how she felt and how much the soul-sucking disturbed her. She wanted answers like the rest of them so she could move on with her life and find a semblance of happiness. When it was all over, Vorstag wondered if she would ever be normal again. Would she ever find happiness? Would she marry or have children? He and Lucinia frequently discussed these questions between them in private. They asked questions that had no answers.

Even Anaka’s visions grew murky. They never showed what happens in the end, but as she absorbed more souls, her visions would turn dark and she couldn’t tell if she was seeing a future or seeing a world the dragons lived in previously.

Home was less than a day away and they made it back by the next morning, not wanting to camp. They all just wanted to crawl into their own beds. It was a luxury they relished after traveling so much around Skyrim hunting dragons and Word Walls.

Anaka, despite her exhaustion, trained and meditated the day away. Vorstag assumed she did it to clear her mind of the dragons. He understood the feeling as he used training to block out emotions and negative thoughts. It was an excellent exercise for the body and mind, but he learned the hard way that worries and stresses never went away unless they dealt them with. Unfortunately, no one knew how to deal with Anaka’s problems. It wasn’t as if they could remove the souls from her. Despite all that, she pushed herself and did her duty with little complaint. In a way that worried the mercenary more. Everything she did was running on automatic with little emotion.

That evening there was a knock on the door and Vorstag opened it to find his brother. “Hello, little brother. I thought I would swing by and deliver this. It came by the house while you were gone and figured it was important.”

Vorstag let his brother in and took the proffered sealed letter. “Have a seat. Need some tea?”

“Sure, thanks.”

“Hello, Jolf. I will make it,” Lucinia said.

“Thanks, Lucy.”

The mercenary opened the letter, sighing, and sat down in a chair. A strange combination of dread and relief filled him. “It’s from Esbern. He’s found the answer and stated we must come to the Temple as soon as we can.”

“Finally. He doesn’t tell us what he found?” Lucinia asked.

“No. I’m assuming he wants to keep it a secret from the Thalmor.”

“Good, maybe we can finally get this dragon issue over with. I wouldn’t mind having my son back,” Jolf said. He and Gretga still struggled with letting their son go with them to fight dragons. Every time he returned home alive was a blessing. No amount of arguing ever convinced the boy to leave Anaka’s side despite her growing distance from everyone. Halof had a big heart, especially for the girl, and he wasn’t giving up on her without a fight.

The sound of vomiting from the kitchen had Vorstag rushing to Lucinia. “What’s wrong? Are you sick?”

Wiping her mouth and drinking down some of her tea, she nodded. “I don’t know. I’ve been feeling ill to my stomach for the past couple of days. This is the first time I’ve thrown up. It’s probably something I ate.”

“It could be a virus. Winter is here and people get sick more often in the colder months,” Jolf suggested. 

“Maybe,” she said, nodding.

“Then you need to stay home while I take Anaka to the Temple.”

“You are not about to leave me behind. Absolutely not. I will head over to the alchemist and get some potions to help my stomach. But we can’t leave yet, anyway. We all need a couple of days to rest, especially Anaka. I should be over whatever I have by then. The alchemist is closed right now, but I will see her in the morning.”

“Okay, then stop making tea and go get some rest.”

Lucinia didn’t argue, so she must have been feeling worse than she let on. That concerned the mercenary more than anything.

“She will be fine, brother. How is Anaka holding up? Halof worries about her and talks of his concerns often.”

“I don’t know, Jolf. I’m worried about her too… we all are. After visiting the Temple, I think it’s time to take her home again to see her family. Every time we visit, they lift her spirits. She needs them, especially her father, who she is very close to.”

“Good idea. I hope that helps a bit. We all care about her.”

“I know you do.”

After Jolf left, Anaka came in shortly after looking like she was going to pass out. 

“Ana, you’re working too hard. Go get some sleep.”

“Where do you think I’m going?” she said, in a mood.

“Ana…”

“Just let me get some sleep, Vorstag.”

The mercenary used to get frustrated when she called him ‘Mr.,’ now he missed it. It was just a small thing, but another sign of her changing. It saddened him, wishing he could do more for her. He never forgot Arngeir’s words that the girl would need him and he did his best, but he felt like he was failing her. The dragon souls were stronger than his ability to help.

He sighed in frustration and headed up to his bedroom where Lucinia had moved into several months back. There was a worry for the mage now, too. When he opened the door, she was already sleeping. He stripped down to his smalls, and crawled into bed with her, pulling her close. Thoughts of marriage had also been on his mind lately. The closer he got to Lucinia, the more he wanted to make it permanent. Never once did he think he would be the type to get married. Now he wished the dragon problem would be done so he could ask her and settle down together. But could he settle down? He fought and worked for so long; he knew nothing else and wondered if Lucinia would accept the fact that he would never become some farmer or merchant.

The next morning, Vorstag woke up to find Lucinia gone. He was so tired; he didn’t hear her get up. He padded downstairs to find she wasn’t home at all. She probably went to the alchemist for her medicine. Good. Lucinia usually made breakfast, being the better cook, but he pulled out eggs and bacon to get breakfast ready. He knew she would scold him for overcooking eggs. There was a reason she did all the cooking.

Anaka came down shortly after, yawning and wiping sleep from her eyes. “Great, it’s hard eggs and soggy bacon this morning.” She was teasing, but it came off as a complaint.

“Well, Lucy isn’t here so…”

“Where is she?”

“She’s been feeling sick and went to get some medicine.”

“Is she okay?” Anaka asked, concern on her face. It was a rare thing to get emotions out of the girl. 

“Aye, she was throwing up, but she looked okay. We also finally received word from Esbern. I wanted to tell you last night, but you were too tired and grumpy. The plan is to head to the Temple tomorrow.”

“Finally! Gods, to get this fucking Dragonborn business done will be a blessing.”

“Ana…”

“What? Don’t tell me you are turning into Lucy now. You swear more than a sailor.”

“Yes, but Lucy doesn’t like it.”

The girl rolled her eyes. “Whatever.”

Lucinia walked in the door just as he finished cooking. “Oh, joy, hard eggs, and soggy bacon.”

“Hey! Don’t you get started now. So, did you get your medicine?”

“No.”

“What? Do they not have what you need?”

“I need to sit,” she said. Lucinia sat at the table, pushing away the plate of food Vorstag offered her. “No.”

“My cooking isn’t that bad.”

“Yes, it is, but that’s not why. I just can’t eat anything right now. And no, I’m not sick. Not in the true sense of the word. I’m… well, you both may as well hear it now. I’m pregnant.”

Vorstag sat down—hard. It was his turn to feel nauseous. “I don’t… I don’t…”

“Oh, Lucy! How exciting! We need some good news around here! It is good news, right?” Anaka asked, looking at a pale Vorstag. 

“I don’t…” The mercenary just couldn’t find his words.

Lucinia grabbed his hand to hold in understanding. “I’m so sorry to do this. I tried to be careful, but something went wrong or perhaps a potion was bad. I can’t say I’m terribly disappointed, but the timing could be better.”

When he still wasn’t speaking, trying to quell his nausea, Lucinia kept talking and reassuring him. “Mercenary, it’s okay to be concerned and afraid. I feel the same, to be honest. But I need to know if you… if you can handle this. Can you be a father?”

_ Can I be a father? No. I’m not a father. I’m not father material. I can barely take care of Anaka. I failed Ulla. _ Those thoughts rushed into his head, but he choked some words out. “I don’t think I would be a good… father.”

“Nonsense. You take great care of all of us. Of course, you would.”

“I… I’m going to admit that this terrifies me.”

“I thought it might when I found out the news. I worried you wouldn’t want to stay with me after you found out. I want you to be a part of our lives and it will hurt if you choose not to, but I will not hold a dagger to your throat, mercenary.”

“You’re awfully… calm about all this,” he said, finally looking at her.

“I’m not afraid of having children, love,” she said.

Vorstag stood up and ran upstairs, not saying anything, hearing the women’s concerns that he abruptly left. He had to find it. He put it in a drawer in the desk drawer, right? Opening the drawer, it wasn’t there. Maybe the side table. When he opened the cabinet, it wasn’t there either.  _ Where the fuck did I put it? _ Think… think. His mind had only one thought at that moment. Opening the drawer of the wardrobe, he tossed his folded clothes on the floor, and there it was. Picking it up, he rushed downstairs.

When he came downstairs, he was out of breath. “Here, I was going to wait until we finished with the dragon problem, but you should have it now.” The mercenary handed Lucinia the small wooden box. When she opened it, tears burst through her eyes like a dam through a storm. 

“Is this what I think it is?”

“Aye, I was going to wait, but… will you marry me?” Was that really the best he could do? “Lucy, I wanted this to be special and I’m a nervous blathering idiot right now, but I love you. I will not leave you if you are pregnant. I don’t know how well I will do as a husband or father, but… I want to try if you’ll have me.”

“I was hoping you would be okay with the baby. I didn’t think you were the type for marriage.”

“I only want you, Lucy. Is that a yes or a no? I know it’s not romantic or anything, but…”

“Yes, of course, I will!”

Lucinia put on the gold carved band with the green gemstone on her finger and stood to hold her betrothed. Anaka got in on the hugging, giving them a rare broad smile. 

“This makes me so happy,” the girl said.

“We can make plans later. Now we need to get to the Temple,” Lucinia said.

“No, you’re not going anywhere. Anaka and I can go.”

“If you think you are leaving me behind, you have another thing coming, mercenary. I will be fine and I’m barely pregnant.”

“Lucy…”

“There is no talking me out of this.”

“I keep telling Halof to stay too, but he never listens either,” Anaka said.

“Fine, but we have to be extra careful Lucy,” he said.

The mage reached up on her toes and brought his face down to her, kissing him. “I love you, mercenary.”

“I love you too, mage.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading! Comments are always appreciated and welcome.
> 
> Next: Paarthurnax


	22. Prophecies, Old Men, and Dragons

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The group finally meets with Esbern who sends them to the Greybeards to learn the new shout to defeat Alduin. Anaka gets to meet Paarthurnax.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> NSFW Content
> 
> It's relatively canon, but I tried to throw things in there to keep it interesting... I hope.

“Maybe I should have stayed home,” Lucina said, her face sheepish. They had to stop frequently so she could throw up on their way back to Skyhaven Temple. “I knew I would get sick, just not this often. I’m very sorry. I’m holding us up.”

“It’s fine, Lucy. It’s so exciting you are having a baby. I can’t wait until it comes and I can hold it,” Anaka said.

“It is what it is,” Vorstag said. “Bah, I’m in no rush to see Delphine anyway. I am more worried about you traveling this far while pregnant.”

“I’m barely pregnant. Women have been doing it for a long time now, mercenary.”

“Yeah, and it kills them too.” Vorstag tried to push away thoughts that his mother died while giving childbirth to his sister, which in turn nearly killed Ulla. He knew he was going to worry more and more as Lucinia progressed. 

“Do you want a boy or a girl?” Halof asked.

“It doesn’t matter, Halof. I will be happy with either,” Lucinia said.

“I want a lot of kids,” the boys said.

Anaka looked back at him on Bubbles they were sharing. “How many is a lot?”

“I don’t know? Ten?”

“Ten! It’s a good thing you can’t give birth, by the Gods, Halof!”

“I’m teasing you, Ana.”

Anaka managed a small laugh, blushing at not catching on. “Oh. Well, I do want children one day, but I don’t know if…”

She left the words unsaid. They all knew she not only worried about surviving Alduin but if she would even come out whole when it was over. Sadness was overcoming the girl again as she fretted about her future. 

“Ana, we are all here for you. We will do everything we can to make sure you come out of this alive, okay?” Vorstag said. He tried to work on his little pep talks to help her through things when she was down. It was getting worse, so he strived to do better for her. “You are never alone.”

Anaka nodded. “I know, thank you all for that.”

On a positive note, the Reach to Skyhaven Temple was clear of Forsworn, so their travels were unhindered. When they entered the Temple, Delphine and Esbern cleaned it up nicely. They had rooms set up with beds, enough for Anaka and her friends. There was a kitchen with supplies and the tables in front of Alduin’s Wall were strewn with candles, papers, and books. Esbern was hard at work, hardly taking note they arrived.

When Esbern was done with whatever he was writing he looked up. “Ah, you are here. Good... good. Come and let me show you what I discovered.”

“Can we rest a bit? Eat something?” Vorstag asked.

“It can wait. This won’t take long.”

They all hovered by the large carved wall. “Look, here is Alduin! This panel goes back to the beginning of time, when Alduin and the Dragon Cult ruled over Skyrim. Here the humans rebel against their dragon overlords—the legendary Dragon War. Alduin's defeat is the centerpiece of the Wall. You see, here he is falling from the Sky. The Nord Tongues—masters of the Voice—are arrayed against him.”

“Does it show how they defeated him?” Anaka asked.

Esbern didn’t look at her when he replied, trailing a hand over the carved stone. “The Akaviri were not straightforward people. Everything is couched in allegory and mythic symbolism. It has taken me many, many months to analyze the Wall. Yes, yes. This here, coming from the mouths of the Nord heroes—this is the Akaviri symbol for ‘Shout.’ But... there's no way to know what Shout is.”

“A Shout? They used a Shout to defeat Alduin? Do you know which one?”

Vorstag could hear the relief in Anaka’s voice and he understood how she felt. To defeat the great black dragon with a mere shout would be much better than having to battle him.

“Hmm? Oh, yes. Presumably something rather specific to dragons, or even Alduin himself. Remember, this is where they recorded all they knew of Alduin and his return.”

“Do you know which one, though?”

Esbern shook his head, always lost in thought as he analyzed the Wall, walking to the end of it. “Look, here in the third panel. The prophecy which brought the Akaviri to Tamriel in the first place, in search of the Dragonborn. Here are the Akaviri—the Blades—you see their distinctive longswords. Now they kneel, their ancient mission fulfilled, as the Last Dragonborn contends with Alduin at the end of time. Are you paying attention, Dragonborn? You might learn something about your own history. I know the prophecy by heart. Once all Blades knew it.

_'When misrule takes its place at the eight corners of the world'_

_'When the Brass Tower walks and Time is reshaped'_

_'When the thrice-blessed fail and the Red Tower trembles'_

_'When the Dragonborn Ruler loses his throne, and the White Tower falls'_

_'When the Snow Tower lies sundered, kingless, bleeding'_

_'The World-Eater wakes, and the Wheel turns upon the Last Dragonborn.'_ ”

“That’s fascinating and all, but you’re still not answering Ana’s question. Do you know the Shout or not to defeat Alduin?” Vorstag asked.

Esbern shook his head again. “I’m afraid not. The Akaviri weren’t forthcoming with that little detail. All I can see is the Shout knocks the dragon out of the sky. It will not defeat him. That is left to you once you have grounded him. Most likely to keep the dragons from finding out what it is. If we can find out what Shout the ancient Nords used, you may have a chance. Or not. There's no guarantee with prophecy—merely hope.”

“Which explains why my visions are so vague about the—if I defeat Alduin or not.”

“Have you ever heard of such a thing? A Shout that can knock a dragon out of the sky?” Delphine said, in awe, but her face grew sour. “I guess we have little choice. You’re going to have to see the Greybeards if they know of such a Shout.”

“I take it you don’t like them by the distaste in your voice,” Vorstag said.

“No. They sit up there on their mountaintop while the rest of the world burns. They are so afraid of power, they don’t use it.”

It was the first time he agreed with the Blade woman. “I feel the same when I first met the Greybeards. They wanted to keep Anaka there with them to meditate her life away.” Though as he thought about it, if Anaka stayed, perhaps she would have been happier. It would be at the expense of all life for a bit of happiness. The mercenary didn’t know if it was all worth it or not.

“I will ask Arngeir what he knows,” Anaka said.

“Good. The Greybeards can teach you a lot, but don't let them turn you away from your destiny. You're Dragonborn, and you're the only one who can stop Alduin. Don't forget it.”

“I won’t.”

Vorstag waved Lucinia and Halof to him as all four huddled. “We will go home and rest for a day, then head up the mountain to see the Greybeards. Lucy, perhaps you should sit this one out. It’s a long hike up the mountain. I… I don’t want to risk anything…”

“Oh, no you don’t. I am fine.” She grabbed his hand in reassurance, stroked his knuckles with a thumb, and pressed her other hand against his heart. “I understand your worries, mercenary. I know where it comes from, but I am not your mother. It will be fine as I can heal myself should there be a problem. I know it’s a hard ask, but please try to stop worrying.”

He pulled her close and kissed her forehead. “That will never happen, but it seems you are more stubborn than I am.”

“Don’t you forget it.”

“Alright, I guess we have to go back to see the Greybeards. I really wish there was a faster way to get to the top of that damned mountain. Do you think dragons are trainable to fly us around?”

Normally moody Anaka giggled at the thought. “Maybe there is a Shout for it.”

“If only…”

Anaka was having dinner at Jolf’s house with Halof that night after they returned from Skyhaven Temple. Vorstag and Lucinia had a rare moment to have the house to themselves. Once the baby arrived, he knew enough that life would be busier than before, leaving them little time alone. 

Lucinia was in the kitchen singing and cooking their dinner. He loved her voice. Vorstag watched her cooking, signing happily and it brought him a moment of joy. In two decades, he never met a woman that made him feel the way she did. He never imagined a life of domestic bliss, but it was something he found himself craving. Only the mage could bring that out of him.

He walked up behind her, wrapping his arms around her, tucking his chin on her shoulder. “Mmm, I want you, mage,” he whispered.

Lucinia giggled at his breath in her ear, trying to shove him off. “Later. I’m making dinner, mercenary.”

“You’re my dinner.”

She scoffed at his cliqued comment. “I thought I was dessert.”

“You are that too. You are all the sustenance I need.”

Lucinia barked a laugh. “Your lines are terrible! Though I have to admit, quite endearing, but only because they come from you.”

“Does that mean I get my way with you?” he asked, slowly lifting up her skirts, running a hand along her soft thighs.

“I still have to make dinner.” Despite her protests, her voice grew deep in lust—breathy.

“We can always do it while you cook. It may be fun, but I would rather you be completely naked underneath me, on top of me… anywhere really.”

“No, Anaka could walk in and I don’t want to give the poor girl a heart attack.”

Vorstag chucked. “She would probably tell us how adorable it is.”

“Probably…” Lucinia whispered as Vorstag nibbled on her ear. He could hear her breathing pick up, body unmoving. He knew he had her. The ears always did her in.

“I still have—”

“—to come upstairs with me now.”

“Later,” she said, but she turned around to face him, eyes filled with lust looking up at him. His heart pounded in anticipation as she unbuckled and untied his breaches, pulling them down with his smalls. They were tucked behind a counter should anyone walk in. His hardness burst forth as if in expectation of Lucinia’s mouth. Vorstag loved this part of her when she was uninhibited, daring. It kept their relationship interesting.

Her beautiful mouth, full lips, wrapped around him—so warm. It was a talented mouth, indeed, going from lovely singing to blissful sucking and licking. Her hand cupped him, gently squeezing as she moved up and down his hardness, licking as she went. Vorstag braced himself with two hands facing the counter. The warmth spread through his belly to between his legs, throbbing, wanting to finish, yet to linger. But Lucinia left him no choice as she finished him. He came with a loud groan, eyes squeezed shut as his body and breath shuddered. 

The mercenary was numb with pleasure as Lucinia stood up. He lifted her in his arms, his breeches still bundled around his ankles. It would have been a ridiculous sight had anyone walked in. He kissed her as she grabbed his head, pressing her forehead to his. 

“We will finish this later. Now I have to get us fed. We need the energy for tonight,” she said. She kissed him on the nose, he put her down and pulled up his pants.

He dragged a thumb across her plump lip, swollen from sucking him. “I love those lips… how you make me feel.”

Lucinia’s breath hitched at his words. “I love yours as well and I hope to feel them on my body after dinner.”

“Count on it.”

It took longer than normal to reach the top of the mountain to High Hrothgar with the snowstorm that came out of nowhere. Ice-like snow pelted their faces as they hunkered down to keep from being blown off the side of the cliff. There was no time to rest as their lungs burned, climbing higher and higher.

Their collective moans were nearly humorous when they entered the relative warmth of the temple. Vorstag shook the snow from his body as the shiver ran up his spine when it fell down his back. “Fucking snow.”

He checked on everyone to make sure they all had their fingers and toes, wanting to kiss Lucinia right there with her rosy nose and cheeks.

“Now is not the time, mercenary,” she said, laughing, learning his tells entirely too well.

“What?” he asked, feigning innocence.

There was no more time for banter when Arngeir walked up to them in his slow and purposeful manner. “Welcome back, Dragonborn and her protectors,” he said, bowing. “Why have you come?”

Anaka stepped up and bowed to the old man in return. “Hello, Master Arngeir. I need to learn the Shout used to defeat Alduin.”

The man eyed the girl suspiciously. “Where did you learn of that? Who have you been talking to?”

“The Blades found me and are trying to help me,” she explained.

Arngeir went from suspicious to downright angry with the news. “The Blades! Of course. They specialize in meddling in matters they barely understand. Their reckless arrogance knows no bounds. They have always sought to turn the Dragonborn from the path of wisdom. Have you learned nothing from us? Would you simply be a tool in the hands of the Blades, to be used for their own purposes?”

It was Vorstag’s turn to be angry, not expecting the backlash Anaka was receiving from the Greybeard. “Hold on a moment, Arngeir. You know Anaka is trying to defeat Alduin. We will seek the help of anyone willing to do so. I don’t like them any more than you do, but our goal is the same, regardless of what you think. The girl is not their puppet.”

“No, no, of course not. Forgive me, Dragonborn. I have been intemperate with you. But heed my warning—the Blades may say they serve the Dragonborn, but they do not. They never have.”

Anaka’s arms were crossed over her in irritation. She knew well enough about her duty. “As Vorstag said, our goals are the same. I don’t care if they serve me or not. I’m no one’s master. So, can you teach me this shout or not?”

The man grew irritated again. Vorstag didn’t understand what was going on or why Arngeir was so irritated about her asking for help. Who else to help if not the Greybeards?

“No, I cannot teach it to you because I do not know it. It is called ‘Dragonrend,’ but its Words of Power are unknown to us. We do not regret this loss. Dragonrend holds no place within the Way of the Voice.”

“I thought you knew all Words of Power. What’s wrong with Dragonrend. We need it to defeat the dragon menace. This is my purpose!” Anaka was losing patience with the Greybeard. The mercenary understood her, wanting to be done with the whole Dragonborn business and move on with her life—they all did. 

“It was created by those who had lived under the unimaginable cruelty of Alduin's Dragon Cult. Their whole lives were consumed with hatred for dragons, and they poured all their anger and hatred into this Shout. When you learn a Shout, you take it into your very being. In a sense, you become the Shout. In order to learn and use this Shout, you will be taking this evil into yourself.”

It was then that Halof spoke up, standing close to Anaka. He too wanted all this to end to be with her as they were supposed to—not having her suffer any longer. “Are you saying we should let the dragons rule? They are killing people! I am sure the ancient ones had every right to be angry with their oppressors!”

Arngeir nodded at the boy. “Yes, they were cruel. But the Dragonborn is already struggling with the consumption of the dragon souls. This Shout could make her worse. Regardless, the knowledge of that Shout was lost in the time before history began. Perhaps only its creators ever knew it. But I am not the one to speak of it to you.”

“Then all this was for nothing,” Anaka said, tears pulling in her eyes. 

“Only Paarthurnax, the master of our order, can answer that question, if he so chooses,” Arngeir said.

“Paarthurnax? Who’s that? I thought you were the master,” Lucinia asked.

“He is our leader. He surpasses us all in his mastery of the Way of the Voice. He lives in seclusion on the very peak of the mountain. He speaks to us only rarely, and never to outsiders. Being allowed to see him is a great privilege.”

Anaka looked up, hopeful again. “Then I should speak with Paarthurnax.”

“No, you aren’t ready and I won’t help you—not until you return to the path of wisdom.”

Anaka stood close to the old man, hands fisted at her sides. She was tired as angry tears slipped out of her eyes. “The path of wisdom? I never asked for wisdom, being a Dragonborn, prophecy, or duty! I don’t want it! So excuse me if I don’t bow down to you. I know what my visions tell me.”

Another Greybeard approached Arngeir and spoke to him in what Vorstag could only presume was Dragon language. He saw the Greybeard leader melt in defeat, nodding. “Dragonborn, forgive me. I was... intemperate. I allowed my emotions to cloud my judgment. Master Einarth reminded me of my duty. The decision of whether or not to help you is not mine to make. Come. Follow me. I will show you how to open the path to Paarthurnax.”

“Perhaps we should rest a bit before we head out, Ana,” Vorstag suggested, knowing how tired they all were, especially her with her frustration and emotions.

“No, we are getting this over with. You can stay here if you wish.”

“Not on your life.”

They all headed out into the bitter storm once more, following the Greybeard close behind. “I don’t know about this, Ana. We could be blown off the side of the mountain,” he yelled out to her when they reached the courtyard.

“The path to Paarthurnax lies through this gate. I will show you how to open the way.” Arngeir calmed Vorstag’s fears of the storm as he Shouted at the path reaching to the top of the mountain. “I will grant you my understanding of Clear Skies. This is your final gift from us, Dragonborn. Use it well. Clear Skies will blow away the mist, but only for a time. The path to Paarthurnax is perilous, not to be embarked upon lightly. Keep moving, stay focused on your goal, and you will reach the summit.”

Anaka bowed politely to the old man. “Thank you, Arngeir. I will use your gift wisely,” she said and walked off and up the path towards Paarthurnax, everyone close behind.

“What magic is this?” Vorstag asked. 

“This is a magical barrier, it would seem to keep out intruders from bothering Paarthurnax, I suppose,” Lucinia replied. “He must indeed enjoy his solitude.”

Arngeir was not joking that the path was perilous, not that the man ever joked. In fact, the man didn’t seem to have any sense of humor that he was aware of. Anaka would use her Clear Skies Shout, opening the path before them as if there was never a storm. The ground was narrow and icy. The Shout only worked for so long before the storm erupted before them again. Anaka had to continue to use her Shout to clear the way.

Anaka slipped a couple of times and Halof was always by her side to lift her up literally and figuratively. The boy was tireless in helping the girl, his loyalty never wavering. As Anaka progressed worse, Vorstag wondered if Halof would have a limit to his loyalty. He hoped not because Anaka would need him. The mercenary also worried about this new Shout. She was growing worse with each soul consumption, he couldn’t imagine what would happen if she learned the new Shout. He supposed they would find out soon enough.

They finally reached the top and Anaka gave one more Shout to clear the way. Looking up, they saw a massive dragon—old—with torn wings lingering on top of a Word Wall. They all readied their weapons, preparing for an attack. Since the dragon wasn’t moving, Anaka put down her sword and lifted a hand to stop the rest of them. “Wait…”

“ _Drem Yol Lok._ Greetings, _wunduniik_. I am Paarthurnax. Who are you? What brings you to my _strunmah_... my mountain?”

“ _Zu’u lost ni prodah aan dovah_ … I was not expecting a dragon,” she said.

“I am as my father Akatosh made me. As are you... _Dovahkiin_.”

“You are the Greybeard’s master?” Vorstag asked in wonder. He never imagined they would be speaking with a dragon. He understood they had Words of Power, Shouts, but he didn’t know they could converse with mortals, but perhaps he should have known.

“They see me as a master. _Wuth. Onik_. Old and wise. It is true I am old…,” the dragon chuckled. 

“Do you know who I am?” Anaka asked.

“Yes, you are the true Dovahkiin.”

“Do you know why I’m here? I need to learn Dragonrend. Can you teach it to me?”

“ _Drem_. Patience. There are formalities which must be observed, at the first meeting of two of the _dov_. Come, I have a gift first.”

Anaka walked forward before being pulled back by Vorstag. “Ana, we need to be careful.”

She turned around to give him a reassuring smile, as small as it was. “It will be fine,” she said and pulled away, approaching the Word Wall. Closing her eyes, she absorbed the Word then Paarthurnax gave her the necessary understanding of the word. At least she didn’t have to absorb a vile soul for it.

“By long tradition, the elder speaks first. Hear my _Thu'um_! Feel it in your bones. Match it, if you are _Dovahkiin! Yol...Toor...Shul!_ A gift, Dovahkiin. _Yol_. Understand Fire as the _dov_ do.”

Anaka turned to the side of the cliff on top of the world and used her Shout, expelling a blast of flame from her mouth as a dragon might. Lucinia stood close to Vorstag, both in fear and awe at the raw power coming from the girl. But Anaka turned around, a broad smile on her face. The mercenary wasn’t sure whether the smile was a good thing or not. He knew well enough too much power changed a person and not always for the better.

“ _Kogaan fah fin yol_ ,” she said, bowing to Paarthurnax. “But can you also teach me Dragonrend?”

Paarthurnax sat atop the Wall in silence for a moment, eyes only on Anaka. “ _Krosis_. Sorrowfully, no. It cannot be known to me. Your kind— _joorre,_ mortals—created it as a weapon against the _dov_. Our _hadrimme_ , our minds cannot even… comprehend its concepts.”

Anaka nodded in sadness, understanding. It now made sense why no one knew the Shout. A dragon cannot know the word because it was created by man to stop the dragons. Since this dragon was the master of the Greybeards, he could not teach them such a word. All this for nothing. At least Anaka learned a new Shout, but they were no closer to defeating Alduin than they were a week ago after meeting with Esbern.

“There has to be a way,” Vorstag asked.

Paarthurnax narrowed his eyes at the man then drew his attention back to Anaka. “ _Drem_ . All in good time. First, I have a question for you. Why do you want to learn this _Thu'um_?”

“It is my destiny to stop Alduin, or at least try to,” she said.

“Yes. Alduin... _Zeymah_. The elder brother. Gifted, grasping, and troublesome, as is so often the case with firstborn. But why? Why must you stop Alduin?” the dragon asked.

Anaka looked back at Halof with tender eyes, love then towards Vorstag and Lucinia. They were her family away from home. Then there was her birth family he knew she missed dearly. “I don’t want my world to end. I have people I love,” she explained.

“ _Pruzah_. As good a reason as any. There are many who feel as you do, although not all. Some would say that all things must end so that the next can come to pass. Perhaps this world is simply the Egg of the next _kalpa_? _Lein vokiin_? Would you stop the next world from being born?”

“It is my destiny.”

“If you can see your destiny clearly, your sight is clearer than mine. _Dahmaan_ —remember, Alduin also follows his destiny, as he sees it. But, I bow before your certainty. In a way, I envy you. The curse of much knowledge is often indecision.”

“Not for me,” Anaka said, with as much certainty as she could muster.

“Very well. There is only one such _fin_ —thing, that could teach you Dragonrend. _Viik nuz ni kron_. Alduin was not truly defeated. If he was, you would not be here today, seeking to... defeat him. The Nords of those days used the Dragonrend Shout to cripple Alduin, but this was not enough. _Ok mulaag unslaad_. It was the _Kel_ —the Elder Scroll. They used it to... cast him adrift on the currents of Time.”

“I was worried about that,” Anaka nodded. “If Dragonrend was successful, why has he returned? So, will this _Kel_ help me? What is it exactly and where can I find it?”

Paarthurnax stretched out his long neck closer to Anaka as if he wanted to tell her a secret. “It is... an artifact from outside time. It does not exist, but it has always existed. _Rah wahlaan_. They are… hmm... fragments of creation. The _Kelle_ ... Elder Scrolls, as you name them, they have often been used for prophecy. Yes, your prophecy comes from an Elder Scroll, but this is only a small part of their power. _Zofaas suleyk_. Seek Arngier. He may be able to guide you on where to find it.”

Anaka bowed to the large old dragon. “Thank you Paarthurnax for your help and guidance.”

“ _Zu’u hind hi pruzah_.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! Comments are always welcome and appreciated <3
> 
> Next: Wedding and Scrolls


	23. Weddings and the Hunt for Scrolls

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> At Anaka's insistence, Vorstag and Lucinia tie the knot in Riften while on their way to the College of Winterhold. Who can say no to the Dragonborn? Then they finally reach the College, and Vorstag gets to meet the infamous Savos Aren, and man who virtually raised Lucinia. After much suffering and listening to Urag about his precious books, they finally make headway as to the location of the Elder Scroll.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Vorstag is happy as a clam getting married. Who knew he was husband material?
> 
> NSFW Content

It was the first time since he met Anaka and Lucinia that Vorstag felt they were making real headway regarding the dragon menace. They had a purpose once more, and now a specific tool to possibly defeat the great dragon. 

They all walked down the mountain back to High Hrothgar with a different feeling about dragons. The mercenary had to admit it was strange to have a dragon working for them, and not with Alduin. He remembered Paarthurnax called the dragon his brother and Vorstag wondered if the old dragon betrayed Alduin and fought for the Nords instead.

Arngeir greeted them on their return from the mountain top inside the temple. “So... you spoke to Paarthurnax. The dragon blood burns bright within you. Did he tell you what you wanted to know? Did he teach you the Dragonrend Shout?”

Anaka shook her head. “No, he said dragons weren’t meant to know it, but there may be a way to find it and told me I should speak with you about it.”

The old man sighed. “So be it. If he believes it is necessary for you to learn this... we will bow to his wisdom.” It was clear Arngeir had no desire to help, but he wasn’t about to disobey his master.

“Master Arngeir, I understand now how you feel about me hunting dragons. After talking to Paarthurnax, I realize that not all dragons are bad. I wish I could promise you I will not hurt or kill any, but if they attack me, they leave me no choice. But I will do my best to not harm them,” Anaka explained.

“Thank you for that, Dragonborn. It is all I can ask.”

“Paarthurnax told me I need to find an Elder Scroll the ancients used against Alduin. Do you have any clues as to where to find it?”

“We have never concerned ourselves with the Scrolls. The gods themselves would rightly fear to tamper with such things. As for where to find it... such blasphemies have always been the stock in trade of the mages of Winterhold. They may be able to tell you something about the Elder Scroll you seek.”

The Greybeard, for a man of peace and meditation, and one who did not involve himself in anything sure had strong opinions on the ways of the world.

“Damn, another mission,” she said. The note of frustration resonated clear as a bell in her voice.

“I know exactly who to talk to at the College,” Lucinia said. “That rusty old Urag should have some information for us.”

“Who’s Urag? He’s an Orc, I take it, judging by his name,” Vorstag asked.

“Yes, and he’s the College’s librarian. He’s a surly sort, protective over his books, but if anyone knows about an Elder Scroll, it will be him.”

“I’ve always wanted to see the College of Winterhold, especially after all the great things you told me about it, Ana,” Halof said.

“Well, I guess you will get your chance,” she replied, throwing her hands up in the air.

Lucinia grabbed Vorstags arm, pressing her head to his shoulder. “I feel like we have made a full circle, mercenary. Perhaps this is the beginning of the end and we can finally start our lives together. I mean we are together, but… you know what I mean.”

Vorstag kissed the top of her head. “Yes, I know what you mean.”

“We shouldn’t go home first. It is in the opposite direction and wastes too much time. I want to waste time in a different way,” Anaka said, looking at Lucinia and Vorstag holding each other. 

“Where do you want to go?” the mercenary asked.

“To Riften. It’s high time you two got married before we lose our chance to do so.”

“It can wait until we are done with the mission,” Lucinia said.

“No, it can’t. We may never get a chance. Anything can happen. It should be done before the baby comes.”

“I think that’s a grand idea, Ana. It would be a happy distraction. You’re the boss,” Vorstag said.

“Don’t you forget it,” she quipped, showing the first genuine smile in a long time.

Vorstag’s original intention was to marry in Whiterun and have a party with his family, but he agreed with Anaka; they may not have another chance. He wanted to do it before the baby arrived, though she still had a long way to go. 

A letter was sent to his brother letting him know what they were doing in regards to the wedding and about heading to the College of Winterhold, explaining they wouldn’t be back for a couple of weeks, at least. There were promises of a grand party when they returned.

Because the wedding was unplanned, they didn’t have any proper clothes, so they all went shopping to buy something nice to wear. Then they talked to the Priest of Mara, Maramal, to arrange the wedding. The Redguard looked as if he was going to implode with excitement—the man’s smile was contagious. Perhaps there weren’t a lot of weddings in Riften.

Lucinia came out of her room she shared with Anaka at the Bee and Barb. Vorstag struggled to find his breath and could have sworn his heart stopped beating. She was beautiful. Lucinia was always beautiful, but at that moment, his world stopped. Her hair was neatly done in calm spirals intermingled with braids. A crown of yellow flowers adorned her hair—her favorites. The long white dress was flowing, the sleeves spread out at the ends. 

“Mercenary, it would seem you have forgotten to speak. If I have rendered you speechless, then my appearance must be to your satisfaction?” Lucinia said, chuckling at his stunned gaze.

Vorstag cleared his throat. _Good, voice is still there_. “Uhm, I… you are the most beautiful thing I have ever seen.”

Lucinia blushed sweetly, loving that about her. “Are you nervous?”

“Terrified, but I wouldn’t want to do anything else at this moment.”

Lucinia wrapped her arms around his waist and looked up at him, her green eyes shone brightly. “I am a bit nervous too, but I too don’t want to be anywhere else. I have to admit, mercenary, I never thought you were the marrying type and I was fine with that.”

“I’m marrying you because I want to. I already planned on this before I knew about the child. I didn’t think I was the marrying type either. It turns out I just needed to meet you first and realize I wanted it all along.”

“You always know the right thing to say,” she said standing on her tippy toes to kiss him.

“You bring it out of me, mage.”

The morning was rainy, but that didn’t deter them or sour their mood. They ran through the city streets and reached the temple in a matter of minutes. Poor Lucinia’s hair was already frizzing, and while she wasn’t happy about it, huffing in irritation, Vorstag loved it. The hair was a part of what he adored about her. It humored him to no end, but he loved tugging on it, tangling fingers, when they made love.

“Ah here's the blushing bride and proud groom now. Let's begin the ceremony,” Maramal said, rubbing his hands together in his excitement when they entered the Temple of Mara.

Anaka and Halof sat down on one of the benches, holding hands while she laid her head on his shoulder.

“You sure you’re ready for this, mercenary? I won’t hold it against you if you want to back out.” Lucinia said it in jest, but Vorstag knew she meant every word.

“Not on your life.”

Vorstag and Lucinia stood close, holding hands as the Priest began. His hands were sweating from nerves, but she never let go, squeezing fingers tightly around his.

“It was Mara that first gave birth to all of creation and pledged to watch over us as her children. It is from her love of us that we first learned to love one another. It is from this love that we learn that a life lived alone is no life at all. We gather here today, under Mara's loving gaze, to bear witness to the union of two souls in eternal companionship. May they journey forth together in this life and the next, in prosperity and poverty, and in joy and hardship.”

Vorstag turned to face his wife-to-be, now holding both of her hands. His heart fluttered, nervous, but he shouldn’t be. He knew he made the right choice with Lucinia. 

“Vorstag, do you agree to be bound together, in love, now and forever?”

“I do, now and forever,” he said without missing a beat, his eyes never leaving hers in a way that told her he would never back down and turn away from her.

“Lucinia, do you agree to be bound together, in love, now and forever?”

“I do, now and forever.”

“Under the authority of Mara, the Divine of Love, I declare this couple to be wed. I present to the two of you with these matching rings, blessed by Mara's divine grace. May they protect each of you in your new life together.”

Vorstag put the ring on her finger and Lucina put his ring on. 

“Kiss her!” yelled out Halof to Anaka’s giggles.

The mercenary lifted Lucinia so they could be face to face, her feet dangling, as she wrapped her arms around his neck and kissed each other to the cheers of the people in the temple, including Anaka and Halof.

“I can’t believe I’m a married man. I love you, mage.”

“I love you, mercenary.”

The temple provided light food and drinks to celebrate. After staying for an hour, they left back to their rooms. Then the dilemma hit Vorstag. They couldn’t consummate their marriage if he was sharing a room with Halof. There was no way he was allowing the teens to share a room.

“I know that look of disappointment, mercenary. You’re worried about the sex part. I’ve already talked to Halof and Ana about this. They promised to behave…”

“No, I know teen boys…”

“Halof is not you, love,” she laughed, patting his chest. “Besides, they already shared a room once before and were well behaved. Anaka is a smart girl and Halof is a smart boy. They know the risks if she gets pregnant. They aren’t going to do anything to stop her chances from defeating Alduin. You have to trust them.”

“Yes, okay… you’re right. I need to trust them, but if he does anything…”

Lucinia reached up to pull his face down for a kiss. “You know, it’s not always boys who do the initiating.”

Vorstag chuckled under his breath, nodding. “You’re right. It was you kissing me that pulled my head out of my ass, and realized how much I wanted you. It was the best kiss of my life.”

“The best? You were a nervous wreck if I recall correctly.”

“I was, which made it that much more spectacular. You are the only woman who can do that to me.”

“I supposed I should start calling you ‘husband’ now instead of ‘mercenary,’” Lucinia said.

“It doesn’t matter, but I do like it when you call me ‘mercenary.’ I’ve gotten used to it.”

Vorstag bent his head towards Lucinia, cupping her chin to lift her to him. He pressed his lips to hers—always so soft. It was gentle and unhurried. He wanted to take his time with her. Bending over he trailed kisses around her chin, down her throat as she tilted her head to expose her neck, pulling her in tight to him.

He pushed her away, dragging fingers down her face, full of love. “Turn around,” he said.

When Lucinia turned her back to him, he pushed her thick curls over her shoulder, and untied her dress, letting it slowly pull down from her shoulders. He kissed the delicate skin as her dress fell away and pooled to the ground. An intake of breath indicating his surprise she wore nothing underneath as if to be ready for him at this very moment. He never tired of looking at her.

“Face me.”

She turned around and he ran a thumb across a nipple. Her eyes closed to his touch with a small yet shuddered breath. Vorstag removed his hand and pulled his tunic over his head, removed his boots then breeches and smalls. He pulled her into him again, wanting to feel her flesh against his—so warm. His hand snaked up her back and fisted her hair while his other hand pinched her nipple. To watch her face and hear her gasp had him fully erect. His mouth nibbled on her pouting bottom lip, then slipped his tongue in her mouth. Their mouths explored, tasted as if for the first time becoming heated, moving faster. 

“I want you in me,” Lucinia groaned in his mouth.

“Not yet.”

“Please…”

“No. I need to taste you first.” Vorstag smiled with her intake of breath, knowing she was wet and ready for him. But this was her night as much as it was his. He would pleasure her first before they did anything.

Vorstag lifted her into his arms and carried her to the bed, laying her gently down. Hovering and tasting her lips and tongue once more, he moved down her body. First her breasts. _They can’t be ignored_. He loved suckling on them and he knew she loved it too as she arched her back forcing a breast further into his mouth, always so responsive to him. His lips trailed down her body, her stomach fluctuating in movement, in anticipation. He wanted to savor this moment, to have a sense of joy to reflect back on when times grew tough, and they would. How he lived so long without a woman like her in his life was beyond him.

“How did I live this long without you,” he whispered on her navel, telling her his very thoughts. He had to kiss her once more before he headed lower, but he found tears slipping down her face. Vorstag learned long ago the different ways she cried. He knew well enough they were tears of happiness. They weren’t just making love, they were making memories.

“Oh, don’t mind me… you just always know the right thing to say. It’s strange coming from such a gruff and stoic man.”

He kissed her once more and set about changing her happy tears into throws of passion. His lips worked their way down her body again and lifted her leg, kissing her inner thigh, and worked his way to her warm core. But he didn’t start right away, simply pressing his mouth on her folds and mound. Lucinia wiggled under him, her way of seeking out more attention than mere kisses—a silent demand for his tongue. 

Now to get serious. He folded back her legs, exposing all of her to him. Yes, her arching, gyrating pleased him. Her body was eager for his tastes. The first drag of his tongue through her folds had Lucinia moaning followed by a sigh, relief most likely. Her sounds were always a reward for him, pushing him to continue and give her everything. While he enjoyed doing it, it was mostly for her… now his wife.

Her pulses on his tongue and screams into the pillow she threw over her face, had him burning for her. Her orgasm fueled him like fire spreading through his body. The desire to just take her then only halted by her continuous throes of pleasure and he gave her all he had until she could take no more.

“In… now!” Lucinia sputtered.

Vorstag didn’t have to be told twice as he grabbed her wrists, pinned them against the bed and thrust into her with slow and deliberate purpose. Her gyrations told him she wanted more and faster, but he took his time. If he rushed it, he would finish too soon. He swayed slowly, rolling his hips, in and out of her until he was completely sheathed by her warm and wet flesh. Vorstag had to stop himself for a moment, taking a deep breath before he moved again. Slow. His movements resumed, timed just so. 

“Please,” she begged.

“No, you will have to wait, mage.”

Her whimpers made him smile, but he gifted her with a kiss and a lot of tongue as he thrust. Closer. He needed to be closer to her, but he didn't want to crush her. Vorstag rested on his forearms to bring him down without hurting the smaller woman underneath him and he pressed his face into her throat, inhaling her. She always smelled like the soap he bought her last year. When she ran out, he bought more for her. 

Soon, he let himself feel all of her wrapped around him, the heat burning between his legs. Lucinia must have sensed he was near, wrapping her legs tightly about his waist, arms tucked under his arms and around his back. She clung to him as he moved faster, deeper. He wanted to watch her face as they made love, but the feeling was too strong, the build too powerful to keep his eyes open. His body stalled and sputtered for a moment before he resumed his rhythmic thrusts, slower as he exploded. All he wanted to do was crash onto the bed, but he didn’t want to hurt her, so he slowly pulled out and rolled next to her. 

“Please tell me we will be doing this all night.”

Vorstag opened an eye, eyebrow cocked. “All night? Are you trying to kill me, woman?” 

“To die by orgasm would be the best way to go,” Lucinia quipped.

“I could think of worse ways,” he conceded, pulling her in close, holding her body against him. He was tired from the orgasm, but if she wanted more, she would have it. _Rest first_.

“Fuck it’s cold up here!” Vorstag complained, pulling his fur-lined cloak tighter against the assault of snow and wind. “Is it always so bitter and icy up here?”

“I’m afraid so,” Lucinia said.

“It’s strangely beautiful in its starkness and white,” Halof said. 

“You’re such a romantic,” Anaka said, wrapping her arms about him as they rode into the town of Winterhold.

“It’s fucking depressing. How did you and Anaka live here? Half the town is in ruins.”

Lucinia shrugged. “You get used to it. Besides, we spent most of our time inside the College where it is nice and warm. I thought you Nords liked the cold, mercenary..”

“No, our bodies can handle the cold, mage. It doesn’t mean we all enjoy it. Give me a spring or summer day, any time. Besides, watching you try to catch butterflies is much more fun.”

They had to stable Snowball and Bubbles in the town proper and walk to the College, which wasn’t far. Vorstag stopped when he saw the bridge over the empty expanse below. “You’re going to walk across _that_?” he asked, not moving a muscle. “You do see how narrow that is, right? We will be blown over the side in a moderate breeze let alone this gusting wind.”

Lucinia laughed at his trepidation. “Is the tough warrior afraid of heights? Who knew?”

Vorstag huffed. “No, I’m just not in the mood for plummeting to my death.”

“Don’t worry, love. The bridge is enchanted. No one is going to plummet anywhere.”

Lucinia held out her hand for him to grab and walk across the bridge together when he was unmoving. If there was one person in the world he trusted the most, it was Lucinia. That didn’t stop him from nervously looking down, imaging his crushed body on the icy ground below.

“Oh, it is nice and warm in here,” he said when they entered the main building.

“I told you.”

“It’s a nice place you have here, mage.”

“Well, it’s not mine any longer. I’m with you now,” she said, smiling, holding his hand.

“Oh… Oh shit. Did… did I take you away from this life permanently? I… I didn’t even… I’m so sorry. Gods, what a selfish bastard I am for not asking you about it first.”

“Vorstag! Stop it. I’m a grown woman who can make her own damned decisions. I knew what I was getting into. I miss and love the College, but I’ve been here all my life. My life is by your side now and that of our soon to be child. I couldn’t be happier, okay?”

“Okay…”

“Lucy!” cried out a man. They all turned to see an older Dunmer approaching her, pulling her into a tight squeeze. “I am so happy to see you alive and well, girl. Your letters have been sporadic and I’ve worried.”

“I’m fine, as you can see, Archmage,” Lucinia said, hugging him back. “It’s good to see you.”

“You know I hate it when you call me that.”

“I know you do and it’s why I do it,” she laughed.

The Archmage huffed in mock irritation, but he couldn’t hide the twinkle in his eye at seeing Lucinia. She told Vorstag all about Savos Aren and how he was like a father to her, raising her in the college.

“Savos, I would like you to meet my husband, Vorstag.”

Savos grabbed Vorstag’s outstretched hand, shaking it vigorously. “Yes, Vorstag… I have heard much about you. All good things, I assure you. No, I take that back. Lucinia was quite frustrated with you in the beginning.”

“The feeling was mutual. I guess you can say she’s grown on me after she beat me into submission,” Vorstag said, face deadpanned, then barked a laugh when Lucinia punched his arm.

Savos then pulled Anaka into an embrace. “It is good to see you alive and well too, my dear. My how you've grown, and into a lovely young lady. How did you get so tall?”

Anaka, once full of giggles, just hugged him back, a small smile on her face. “It is good to see you, Savos.”

The Archmage narrowed his eyes at the girl, probably wondering about the change in her.

Anaka pulled the boy close to her. “This is Halof, Archmage. He is Vorstag’s nephew and… well, we are close.”

“I get the picture,” he said. “You are welcome here, Halof… all of you are welcome.”

“I’m afraid we aren’t here for pleasure, Savos,” Lucinia said. “We are still on this Dragonborn mission and have to see Urag about an ancient Elder Scroll. It’s a long story, and one I will tell you about when we are done.”

“Well, if anyone can find an ancient scroll, it will be Urag. I will talk to you all soon.”

They all wound their way up the spiral stone staircase and were greeted with the smell of musty old paper. The large library was surrounded along all its walls with books and scrolls—more than Vorstag had ever seen. 

He could hear Halof whistling in appreciation. “What I wouldn’t give to spend time here,” the boy said. “Too bad I don’t have an ounce of magic so I could stay here for a while.”

In the back and center of the room was an enormous desk and standing behind it was an old and withered Orc. _He must be Urag_.

“Urag! It is a pleasure as always to see you and your library still in perfect order.”

“As if my library would be any other way,” the Orc huffed. “What do you want?”

The Orc may have been grumpy, but there was a sparkle in his eyes. It would appear he was more bark than bite.

“Anaka here needs your services. Go on, honey. Ask him.”

“I really need an Elder Scroll, Urag. I need to find one.”

The old Orc scoffed at the girl. “And what do you plan to do with it? Do you even know what you're asking?”

“I just know I need to find one. You know me and that I am the Dragonborn. I was sent to find it to help me in my mission,” Anaka explained.

“I knew it. Everyone comes in here, expecting my help, but they don't even have the proper questions. An Elder Scroll is an instrument of immense knowledge and power. To read an Elder Scroll, a person must have the most rigorously trained mind, or else risk madness. Even so, the Divines usually grant the reader's sight as a price.”

Anaka was trying to mask her annoyance but wasn’t successful. With her arms folded, she took a deep breath, trying to find patience with the Orc’s arrogance. “Everything I have done has come at a price, Urag. This is one more thing on my list that will cost me, but I must do what I must… Alright then. What’s the reward if blindness is the price?”

“The simplest way to put it is ‘knowledge,’ but there's nothing simple about an Elder Scroll. It's a reflection of all possible futures and all possible pasts. Each reader sees different reflections through different lenses and may come away with a very different reading. But at the same time, all of it is true. Even the falsehoods. Especially the falsehoods.”

“I hate fucking riddles,” Vorstag grumbled.

The Orc nodded at him in acknowledgment. “They are bits of Divine made substance so we could know them. Sorry. Talking about the Scrolls, you usually end up in irritating and vague metaphors like that. Some people who study them devoutly go mad.”

“Do you know where to find one or not? I was told you would know,” asked Anaka, clearly not in the mood for metaphors and riddles either.

“I don't know who told you that, but I'll do what I can. What we do have are plenty of books. I'll bring everything we have on them, but it's not much. So don't get your hopes up. It's mostly lies, leavened with rumor and conjecture.”

“Great, I hope this isn’t another dead end,” Vorstag complained.

They all sat at a large table and waited for Urag to bring them any information on Elder Scrolls. A moment later, he returned with a large tome and delicately placed it on the table as if it might break at any moment. “Try not to spill anything on it. It's going to stay pristine, understand?”

“Understood, Urag,” Lucinia said, ever the diplomat.

Anaka gently opened the book as everyone huddled close together to read it. “It’s called ‘Ruminations of the Elder Scrolls,’” she said.

They spent a long hour reading the contents of the book, no closer to an answer than they were. “Admittedly, I’m not the most learned of men, but to me, that was complete gibberish.”

“Stop, mercenary. You are very smart, and you’re not wrong. This book makes absolutely no sense,” Lucinia said.

“More time fucking wasted,” he complained.

Anaka picked up the book, returning it to Urag. “This book is incomprehensible.”

“Aye, that's the work of Septimus Signus. He's the world's master of the nature of Elder Scrolls, but... well. He's been gone for a long while. Too long.”

“I can’t tell if he’s brilliant or nuts,” she said, rubbing her face in irritation.

Urag nodded in understanding. “Probably both.”

“Is he still alive? Can we find him?”

“I hope not he’s not dead. But even I haven't seen him in years, and we were close once. He became obsessed with the Dwemer and took off north saying he had found some old artifact. I haven't seen him since. He’s somewhere in the ice fields if you want to try to find him.”

“Great… another trip,” Anaka sighed.

Halof patted her back and hugged her. “I know it’s irritating, but remember we are getting one step closer each time. You can do this and we are right beside you.”

Vorstag watched his nephew comfort Anaka and wondered when he got so tall and grown. He looked like a man with the red scruff on his face, almost as tall as Vorstag. The boy will be taller when he was done growing, his shoulders broad. His brother and Gretga raised him well.

“Listen to Halof and Ana. We are one step closer. We will find the answer. I can feel it,” Vorstag said.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading! Comments are always welcome and appreciated <3
> 
> Next: Dwemer Ruins and Elder Scrolls


	24. Crazy Men and Dwemer Ruins

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The group tries to figure out Septimus, the crazy hermit to find the Elder Scroll, then he sends them off explore Dwemer ruins (Vorstag's favorite).

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> While this is relatively canon, I tried to keep it interesting with Vorstag/Lucy banter and frustrated teen Dragonborns.

The hermit scholar was north of Winterhold. It was a remote area, devoid of life other than animals that could survive the harsh cold and icy climate. All they could see before then was white against the dark waters of the Sea of Ghosts. 

It was treacherous walking down the icy path of the cliff underneath the College and hard not to slip down to one’s death. Lucinia and Anaka worked together to melt it some, so it wasn’t as slick. Once at the bottom, Vorstag looked at the horizon, ice as far as he could see, then down at his map. 

“How am I supposed to find a tiny cave tucked away in all this fucking ice?” It wasn’t really a question, but more of a complaint as plumes of white blew out of his warm mouth. “And it’s colder than a hagraven’s tit out here!”

“Touch a lot of hagraven tits, have you?” Lucinia quipped.

Vorstag narrowed his eyes at his beloved wife, who teased him to no end. “Okay, I walked into that one. Score one for my dear wife. Still, how does anyone or anything live out here?”

“I suppose if one doesn’t want to be bothered by the living, this is the place to be,” Halof said, with his deepening voice.

Since when had he started to sound like a man? Why had Vorstag not noticed it until now? 

Vorstag looked down at the map, the cave was marked due north from their location. There was a lot of water between where they stood and all the ice-filled islands floating around. “We need a boat,” he said.

“Lucy and I can freeze the water temporarily so we can get across,” Anaka said.

“Fine, let’s go, but don’t drown me and let me freeze to death.”

“If I wanted you dead, you would already be so,” Lucinia deadpanned.

“Great, now I have to sleep with one eye open. Not reassuring, mage. Alas, our pre-marital bliss is gone already,” he said, feigning heartbreak, and was rewarded with a playful punch on his arm.

“Come on, big baby. Let’s go find our verbally challenged scholar,” Lucinia laughed, pulling Vorstag by the arm.

Two hours later, the only indication they found the ice cave was a small wooden dinghy pulled up on the shore.

“This better be it,” Anaka said. She was the one complaining this time, but Vorstag couldn’t blame her. It was a cold and harsh land, taking a while to reach for answers. Most of their journey provided more questions than anything, finding it annoyingly exhaustive.

Inside, the ice cave was smaller than they imagined, and strangely warm considering ice surrounded them. In the center of the icy wall was a massive circular door of gold and gems, with several circular bands. It looked to be a strange puzzle door. A man in robes and a hood stood in front of it, mumbling to himself. 

Anaka wasted no time. “Excuse me, but we were informed you can tell us where to find an Elder Scroll.”

The old man turned around. If his visitors surprised him, he gave no sign. “The Empire absconded with them. Or so they think. The ones they saw. The ones they thought they saw. I know of one. Forgotten. Sequestered. But I cannot go to it, not poor Septimus, for I... I have arisen beyond its grasp.”

They all looked at each other, confused. His rambling explained why they struggled to understand his book. 

“Do you have an Elder Scroll?” Anaka asked.

“I’ve seen enough to know their fabric. The warp of air, the weft of time. But no, it is not in my possession.”

It was hard to understand what he was saying, but ‘not in his possession’ was easy enough to figure out. “So, where is it then?” Vorstag asked, wishing some people could get to the point.

“Well, here as in this plane. Mundus. Tamriel. Nearby, relatively speaking. On the cosmological scale, it’s all nearby.”

_Great, more fucking riddles_. “Can you tell us where to find it or not?”

“Lucky the Dwemer left behind their own way of reading the Elder Scrolls. In the depths of Blackreach, one yet lies. Have you heard of Blackreach? ‘Cast upon where Dwemer cities slept, the yearning spire hidden, learnings kept,’” the old man explained.

“And where is this Blackreach?” Lucinia asked, placing a hand on Vorstag’s chest to calm him. She understood him too well.

“Under deep. Below the dark. The hidden keep. Tower Mzark. Alftand. The point of puncture, of first entry, of the tapping. Delve to its limits, and Blackreach lies just beyond. But not all can enter there. Only Septimus knows the hidden key to lose the lock to jump beneath the deathly rock.” Septimus turned to face the ancient Dwemer door before him, lost in thought as if he forgot he had visitors.

So there was a key to get through. The place they need to be is Alftand. Vorstag pulled out that piece of information from the man’s confused way of speaking. Too many damned metaphors.

“How do we get in?” Anaka asked.

“Two things I have for you. Two shapes. One edged, one round. The round one, for tuning. Dwemer music is soft and subtle and needed to open their cleverest gates. The edged lexicon, for inscribing. To us, a hunk of metal. To the Dwemer, a full library of knowings. But... empty. Find Mzark and its sky-dome. The machinations there will read the Scroll and lay the lore upon the cube. Trust Septimus.”

The old man handed them a gold-like sphere and a cube, engraved with a strange pattern. Vorstag took them and inspected them. “They appear Dwemer in origin, fascinating. And, these are keys, you say?”

Septimus nodded. “Yes, yes, keys.”

“Why are you just giving us these? Let me guess, you want the Elder Scroll,” Vorstag said. 

“Oh, an observant one. How clever to ask of Septimus. This Dwemer lockbox. Look upon it and wonder. Inside is the heart. The heart of a god! The heart of you. And me. But it was hidden away. Not by the Dwarves, you see. They were already gone. Someone else. Unseen. Unknown. Found the heart, and with a flair of the ironic, used Dwarven trickery to lock it away. The scroll will give the deep vision needed to open it. For not even the strongest machinations of the Dwemer can hold off the all-sight given by an Elder Scroll.”

“So you want us to bring the scroll to open this… contrapment or whatever it is?”

“Yes, bring me the scroll to open and the blank Lexicon that will be inscribed, rune-filled.”

There was no way they were going to return to the old man and give him the Scroll, even to borrow. “Sure, we will come back and get this thing open for you. No problem,” he lied with little effort.

“Good, now go!”

“I think I’m just going to move in with old Septimus. This cold is getting on my nerves,” Vorstag complained once they were outside. The wind had picked up, and the snow was more ice than fluff. 

After they looked at the map, they saw Alftand was a Dwemer ruin not too far from where they were on the mainland next to the College. 

It was getting dark, but the last thing they wanted to do was camp in the freezing planes of ice. “Let’s just get there and make camp inside,” Anaka suggested.

Vorstag nodded. “Sounds good to me.”

By the time they reached the ruins, it was dark out. Anaka and Lucinia cast spells that produced orbs of light to help them find their way. The tower of the ruins peaked through the snow and ice, but the rest of the ruins were buried deep within. Someone had excavated a stone path leading to a golden metal door. It was their only way in.

“This is going to be fun,” Vorstag said.

“I can’t tell if you’re being sarcastic or serious, mercenary,” Lucinia said.

“Oh, I’m dead serious. I love Dwemer ruins. They are dangerous but filled with marvelous goodies that bring in a lot of gold. I cleaned out one of them in Eastmarch the day before I met you and Anaka on the road, saving your sorry butts.”

“And for that, we will be forever grateful.” Lucinia pecked his cheek with cold lips. 

“Off, woman! I’m cold enough as it is and your lips are colder than a dead horker.”

“I love it when you talk dirty to me.” Lucinia laughed when Anaka and Halof groaned. 

“I think we should keep going. I don’t know about you all, but I’m not tired or ready to camp,” Anaka said. It was probably because she didn’t want to camp, but wanted to get it all over with. Vorstag couldn’t blame her.

“Fine with me as long as it’s OK with everyone else, but I say we sit and rest for a minute, have something to eat, but this is all ice here. I’m sure we can find someone less… wet and cold deeper in.”

Once they got past the icy pathway, they found the Dwemer ruins, though wet with melting snow. There were a few fallen pillars they sat on that were relatively dry and had a snack. 

“While we are resting, I want to tell you what to expect. I’ve been in enough of these ruins to be familiar with them. Be ready for traps, most triggered by plates on the floor. There are metal creatures that still roam even after centuries. The Dwemer sure could build them. The creatures range from Dwarven spiders, spheres that seem innocent enough until they open into guardians with weapons. Then there are the centurions—massive metal monsters. They have a core in the chest, like our hearts. Hit that and it will bring them down. Deeper in, we will probably find Falmer and Chaurus. The Falmer are blind, but they hear everything—disgusting things, but they won’t hesitate to kill us. The chaurus are large insects the Falmer use for food, to craft weapons, and make shelter. They shoot poison to blind, so be ready.

“Delightful. And you say you like these places?” Lucinia asked.

“Well, no, mage. I don’t like Falmer and bugs. I like what the Dwemer built and I find it interesting. I also like gold.”

Anaka stood up and brushed off the dirt from her bottom, impatient. “Let’s go.”

But Halof stood and grabbed her, pulling her in close to him, holding her. “Wait, Ana.”

Anaka struggled in his powerful hug. “There’s no time, Halof.”

“Just stop for a moment. I’m aware you are stressed and worried and want to rush off, but please stop for just a minute.” Halof kissed her head when she stopped pushing him away. “I think this place is dangerous and I want us to be ready. I don’t want to see you hurt. I love you and want to hold you for a while. It calms me and I hope it calms you too.”

After some reluctance, Anaka melted into him, wrapping her arms around him, giving in to his affections. When Halof let her go, she had a smile on her face. 

Vorstag patted Halof’s back in appreciation, who smiled back at him. He understood his nephew was trying to calm her down to not rush off, which could lead to her getting hurt or worse. Then he checked on Lucinia. She was the one who was pregnant who indicated she was tired but otherwise fine to proceed.

As they walked on, they came to a locked gate with no apparent way through, though they spent considerable time looking around for a lever to open it. With no other way in, they found another path. Vorstag led the way since he was the most familiar with Dwemer ruins. As expected, there were a couple of Dwarven spiders ready to attack them. Some could use electricity to do so. Halof took one out with his bow, while Vorstag got the other with his sword. 

There was another icy cave, which opened up to a small camp with two dead Khajiits. The felines had not been dead very long. Vorstag took a moment to investigate and found Skooma bottles. They were high, and the drug made one paranoid. They probably killed each other. There wasn’t much they could do about it, so they kept on moving.

The cave opened up to ruins again and more Dwarven spiders. It didn’t take much to kill them, but Vorstag knew they were deadly to those unprepared. 

“Get ready,” he yelled out when we saw two metal balls rolling their way. The creatures unfurled themselves to reveal metal-like men with swords. 

With her sword drawn in one hand, fire in the other, Anaka blasted one of the metal creatures and when it swung at her, she blocked it, then lunged. Vorstag jumped in, but Anaka had already decapitated the metal head, rolling and clamoring on the ground. 

Halof’s arrows were bouncing uselessly off the other sphere, trying to find weak points while Lucinia used ice to freeze it. Anaka joined in, blasting it with one of her Shouts, sending flying against the stone walls, shattering into metal bits.

The deeper they went in, they fought more Dwarven sentries, spiders. There were traps to avoid and crumbled walls and pillars to climb over. It was the stone steps that stopped them in their tracks. As soon as Vorstag set foot on them, a spinning blade opened up from the middle, spinning up and down. There was no way around it without being sliced to death. 

Anaka moved to the front and did one of her shouts that froze the thing while Vorstag and Halof took their swords, kicking at it to dismantle it enough so it wasn’t going anywhere before the ice wore off. As soon as they reached the top and through a gate, they saw the first signs of Falmer. It wasn’t just the stench of something unfamiliar, but chaurus egg sacs littering the ground. Lucinia squatted to scoop some eggs up, placing them gently in her pouch.

“Seriously? Insect eggs?” Vorstag asked, shuddering.

“Yes, my love. I’m sure I will find some use for them in my alchemy.”

“You’re cuter when you’re chasing butterflies.”

“Damn, and here I thought you preferred me rolling in insect goop.”

A smile tugged at his lips. He wondered if it was her pregnancy that was bringing out the snarkiness. Either way, he liked it.

Vorstag opened the large metal doors only to be greeted by arrows. Falmer were scattered on the stone path leading deeper down into the depths of the ruins—a favorite place of the Falmer. Their keen hearing alerted their presence to the creatures. Before they could fight back, it was nothing for Anaka to use her Shout, sending the creatures flying off the ledges to the depths below and to their deaths.

They reached the bottom and through a door that brought them to a strange chamber with a mechanism in the middle. It wasn’t the metal instrument that had them interested but the two people fighting over treasure. No one knew how they got there or who they were, but while Vorstag was more than happy to let them kill each other, they took notice of his little group and attacked.

Once they were dead, Vorstag searched their bodies, but couldn’t find anything on them that would show why they were there—treasure, probably. He shrugged and walked over to the mechanism in the middle of the floor. It looked similar to the one in Septimus’ cave, but not as large. Lucinia and Halof were inspecting it while Anaka was looking around to find a way through the gate that led to some lift.

“I wonder if this leads us to Blackreach. The crazy old man gave us those metal keys. Didn’t he say the sphere… Attunement Sphere, wasn’t it, would lead to Blackreach?” Halof said, looking up at Vorstag.

“You might be right, Halof,” Lucinia said.

“Maybe,” he said. The mercenary dug in his pack and pulled out the metal sphere, handing it to his nephew. 

Halof put the sphere on to a circular slot and pushed the button. Sure enough, the floor gave way to reveal hidden stone steps leading even deeper. 

“Well done, Halof,” Lucinia exclaimed.

“I knew I brought you along with us for a reason,” Anaka said, kissing him on his cheek.

Down, down, down it brought them, and Vorstag wondered how deep they were. “If the key opens up Blackreach, this must be the door. I don’t know what to expect here. Be on your guard.”

When they opened the large metal doors, the expanse in front of them left them in awe. It was the largest cave cavern they had ever witnessed. The air was warm and thick with humidity. The rushing waters filled the cave with fresh air, and the only light provided was from giant mushrooms that glowed throughout. The Dwemer built there, but they left the cave intact. The cave was littered with Dwemer towers.

“Mara have mercy. Have you seen anything like this, mercenary?” Lucinia asked.

“Never…”

“Where do we even go?” Anaka asked.

“I don’t know,” he said. “I would like to make camp. I understand you want to keep going, Ana, but Lucinia is tired, though she isn’t complaining. Actually, I’m tired too.”

“We will not do any resting, Uncle. There is Falmer up ahead.”

“Shit, okay. Let’s take care of them first.”

Once they cleared out the Falmer and a couple of massive Centurions, they set up camp. There was nothing in the cave to burn, but it was warm enough. So they set up a couple of tents and had some dinner. 

Lucinia stood up and started walking away from the camp. “I’m going to explore for a bit.”

“No, you’re not. First, you need to rest. Second, we don’t know what is out there. We cleared out the Falmer as far as I know, but there could be other things lurking,” Vorstag said, standing up to bring her back.

“I’m not going far. I just want to look at some plant life here. I will keep a floating orb of light so you can see me. I promise.”

“Fine. Just… be careful, sweetheart.” His voice was soft and tender. They teased each other, but he worried about her every moment.

Several hours later, they were all awake with not enough rest, but they had to move on. Walking through the Blackreach with its strange growing plants and Dwemer ruins scattered throughout was as if they were in another world. Lucinia continued to gather alchemical ingredients as they tried to find their way through to wherever they needed to go. 

Finally, a tower with a working door, not hidden behind crumbled stone, opened up to a lift. Surely it would take them out of there. 

“There’s only one way to find out,” Vorstag said as they all looked at him with questioning eyes, pulling the lever. The gate closed, and the lift shook and sputtered as it sprung to life, lifting them higher past the bowels of Blackreach. When it stopped and the gates opened, there were signs of an abandoned camp, but no sign of anyone alive.

They walked through the room with the camp through a door that opened up to a circular area with a large metal sphere in the middle. 

“Just when I thought the Blackreach was interesting,” Lucinia said, touching the massive sphere.

“This way,” Halof yelled out to them. 

Following Halof up a stone ramp that went around the sphere, it opened up to a domed room with a massive metal contraption in the center. It had arms coming out of the center with green glass discs. Vorstag couldn’t make heads or tails about what he was seeing. 

“What in Oblivion…” whispered Vorstag. “In all my exploits into Dwemer ruins, I have seen nothing like this.”

“This must be where the scroll is. It has to be,” Anaka said.

“This looks like a puzzle,” Halof said. He ran up to the balcony where several buttons were on pillars looking down at the metal contraption. “Up here!”

They all rushed up to him as he asked Vorstag to give him the Lexicon. When Halof had the golden cube in his hand, he placed it on a pedestal where it fit perfectly. “So, based on what the old man told us, is the Lexicon will be inscribed by a series of buttons here. When it is inscribed properly, it should turn those gears overhead to open up and release the Elder Scroll. See that contraption in the middle towards the ceiling? It looks like a giant green egg and probably opens up. Do you want to bet the Scroll is inside?”

“When did you get to be so smart, boy?” Vorstag thought, patting his nephew on the back.

Halof shrugged. “I’ve always been good with puzzles.” 

The young man looked to the center of the room, analyzing all the gears, circles, pathways, then down at the series of buttons, pushing one. “See here? When I put the Lexicon in its place, this button lit up.” The metal dome on the floor was a series of circular bands that rose off the ground and rotated. Then another button lit up. Once pressed the gears and arms above on the ceiling spun around and brought themselves together in the center. He pressed it again, and the gears moved out and inward once more. Their green glass was there to reflect light coming from the ceiling and sent rays to the dome on more glass-like discs. 

“That did it! Look, the green egg thingy is coming down!” Anaka exclaimed and ran to it as the egg opened up to reveal a large scroll. 

She gently lifted it out of its home and held it out. It was long. The biggest scroll Vorstag ever saw. “Now we can bring this back to Paarthurnax. He will know what to do with it. Soon! Soon this will all be over!” Anaka held the scroll close to her as if in an embrace, a broad smile on her face. It was the happiest he had seen her in a long time.

“I know you want this over with Ana, but we have to head home first. Halof’s parents want him home, and Lucinia needs rest. How about we take them home and you and I travel back up to High Hrothgar?”

“No!” Lucinia and Halof both yelled out. They were not about to be left behind.

“Be reasonable. Especially you, Lucy. This is too much traveling and danger while pregnant.”

“I’m not some delicate flower, mercenary. I suppose I was when we met, but you toughened me up. I made a promise to Ana and I intend to uphold it. I will know when it has become too much for me. Trust that I know what I’m doing.”

Vorstag wanted to argue, but he knew well enough there was no changing Lucinia’s mind once it was set. “There’s no way I can talk you out of this?”

“Nope.”

“Stubborn woman…”

“It makes sense, Uncle. Paarthurnax is more on the way than home is.”

“Don’t start with me, boy… you have proven yourself useful, but I’m more worried about my wife.” Vorstag pinched the bridge of his nose in frustration, wishing he could leave Lucinia at home. He worried something would happen to her and their child. He could put his foot down, but then she would only resent him for it. 

“Fine, it seems I have been overruled once more. Why am I even here again?”

Lucinia pecked his cheek. “You’re here purely for entertainment purposes and something nice to look at.”

“Yeah, I thought so. Let’s go see that old geezer of a dragon.”


	25. Cowardly Dragons

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Anaka breaks. It's one catastrophe after another. Then she breaks Vorstag's heart.

More days traveling, always traveling, always moving. Each day was one step closer to defeating Alduin. More time wasted climbing to the top of the mountain, fighting the magical raging storm to keep out intruders. They were all impatient. It was nearly done. The Scroll would be translated and they would have their answer to defeating Alduin. The next step was to hunt the beast down to wherever he slithered off to when he wasn’t raising dead dragons.

Paarthurnax looked excited to see Anaka with the Scroll if a dragon could look like anything, but he rippled and shuddered as the dragon inched closer to the girl. 

“You have it. The _Kel_ \- the Elder Scroll. _Tood Kreh... qalos_. Time shudders at its touch. There is no question. You are doom-driven. _Kogaan Akatosh_. The very bones of the earth are at your disposal. Go then. Fulfill your destiny. Take the Scroll to the Time-Wound. Do not delay. Alduin will come. He cannot miss the signs.”

“Wait… what?” she asked. 

“Open the scroll, see what it shows you. There is no _tiid_ … time. The Kel will show you. Alduin will notice it has been open and will come. The time is now!”

They all stood there in shock, unmoving, unprepared to face Aludin. Traveling for days left them exhausted. Vorstag cursed himself for not forcing them to rest, but Anaka pushed the issue, eager to get the Scroll to the old dragon.

“Go!” Paarthurnax rumbled at their stillness.

Anaka opened the Scroll, uncertainty in her eyes, especially after being told how dangerous they were. With little choice, it opened and the world around them changed. One moment they were all standing atop the mountain with Paarthurnax, the next was chaos. The sky itself looked to be on fire as dragons flew, fighting the humans below. They were still on the mountain, but they were joined by three others—warriors fighting the great black dragon. 

Vorstag drew his sword as Halof, Lucinia and Anaka followed his lead, ready for battle, but no one took notice of them. He reached out to touch a Nord female warrior, but his hand moved through air. They weren’t thrust back in time; they were witnessing it.

“This must be where we learn the shout,” Halof said. “We are going to witness Aludin’s defeat.”

The three warriors bravely fought Alduin, unafraid, determined. But the black dragon was undaunted, laughing at them. The warriors ignored the taunts, working together to end the dragon war and free the people of Tamriel once and for all. 

The mercenary felt his adrenaline pump, his heart race. His instincts were honed to the point he wanted to jump into the battle. Vorstag wondered if the rest of them were going through the same thing.

As a female and male warrior distracted the dragon, another opened a scroll much like what Anaka opened. Perhaps it was the same one. Alduin roared in anger as fiery meteors plummeted to the ground. The three dodged to keep from getting crushed. 

“Now!” Someone said to the man with the scroll, who wasted no time using the shout.

It forced Alduin to the ground as if by invisible chains, holding him there. He was angry, snapping. The dragon grabbed the woman by his maw, shaking and crushing her. Alduin spat her out like an old bone. Dead. 

The man holding the Scroll didn’t use it to make the shout work. No, the shout was used to hold the dragon while he used the Scroll. The warrior spoke words Vorstag didn’t recognize as a portal opened up behind the dragon. Soon, Alduin was no more, sent through time until the day Anaka woke up to be the Dragonborn.

As soon as Alduin vanished in time, the Scroll closed. 

“I learned the shout!” Anaka said, excited to finally have a way to defeat Alduin. If they kept the beast on the ground long enough, they could kill him. The purpose of Anaka as the Dragonborn was clear. They would kill him and she would absorb his soul, ending him once and for all. There was no need to send him through time again to let others deal with the dragon.

“Ready yourselves!” Paarthurnax warned.

Vorstag already had his sword drawn as soon as the Scroll revealed the war in the past. Whether they were mentally and physically ready was another story. All of them were tired and he worried for Lucinia and their future child, but he had to push it aside. There would be no future for his child or anyone if they didn’t defeat the black dragon, so he steeled himself, ready for battle.

And just like that, they heard the roar in the distance. The beating of massive wings growing louder as the dragon approached. 

Alduin hovered over the group as he did that first day they saw him in Helgen. Vorstag could have sworn the dragon was smiling at them. 

“ _Bahloki nahkip sillesejoor._ My belly is full of the souls of your fellow mortals, _Dovahkiin._ Die now and await your fate in Sovngarde!”

The mercenary looked at his charge, worried for her, but her look was fierce, determined. Such a contrast since that first fateful day when she wept in fear. 

“ _Zu’u ni faas hi_ … I do not fear you, creature!”

“You are too late, Alduin,” Paarthurnax said.

“ _Suleyki mulaag_ , Paarthurnax. My power has waxed, while yours has waned. _Aav uv dir_. Join me or perish with your mortal friends.”

“Do it now, _Dovahkiin_!” 

Anaka looked to the sky, directly at Alduin, flying, mocking. When she shouted at the creature, his hateful look turned into one of surprise as the invisible chains pulled him to the ground. The dragon struggled, flapping his wings with as much force as he could muster, but he was stuck to the ground. For how long, no one knew.

Vorstag stood there, dumbly, watching arrows fly, penetrating the tough scales. Ice and electricity hit the powerful dragon. Anaka used her sprint shout, pushing her back and forth, cutting, stabbing each time she stopped. Their reactions finally bolstered him into action, lunging, swinging, swiping at the dragon.

Alduin snapped at him with his massive maw and Vorstag rolled out of the way, slicing at legs when he came upright. He jumped as the tail lashed out, but it caught him the second time. Vorstag’s body flew backward, landing hard on his back. He felt the wind knock out of him as he gasped for air, nearly blacking out.

Vorstag scrambled out of the way as Alduin rained down fiery meteors. The mountain shook with each explosion, feeling as if the mountain would crumble beneath their feet, plummeting to the land below. Their focus was to dodge the falling fire, to stay alive, leaving little opportunity to attack the dragon. But Alduin could only maintain his magic for so long.

The creature got loose from his bindings, trying to fly away, and Anaka wasted no time pulling him down again as he roared in anger. 

“I have feasted on many greater than you!” 

“ _Zu’u fen kipraan Nau hi sil_ … I will feast on your soul!

Alduin scoffed, but Vorstag sensed the dragon’s fear. Yes, perhaps they had a chance after all. The fear drove the mercenary into action, ignoring the pain in his back. He slipped under the dragon’s belly, hacking, and was rewarded with blood.

Anaka used her shout to encase him in ice, and Vorstag wasted no time climbing the dragon. This was it. It was finally over! Vorstag lifted his sword high above his head to slam into the creature’s brain, but the ice couldn’t hold him. Alduin broke free, shaking the mercenary off him. Vorstag fell to the ground, landing hard on his shoulder, feeling it dislocate. 

As he lay on the ground, he watched the dragon break hold of Anaka’s Dragonrend. Before she could shout at him again, the bastard flew off. 

“I am Al-du-in, Firstborn of Akatosh! _Mulaagi zok lot_! I cannot be slain here by you or anyone else! You cannot prevail against me! I will outlast you, mortal!” he said, flying away.

The guttural cry coming from Anaka was painful to hear. Vorstag felt the same but remained stoic. Lucinia and Halof ran to the girl, trying to hold her as she wept, but she shoved them away. He could feel her pain. They were so close to defeat and the coward fled. 

With a limp arm from his damaged shoulder, Vorstag limped over to Anaka. She was bleeding from the head, but at least Lucinia and Halof were free of injuries attacking from a distance. With an effort, he lifted the girl with one arm to him, but she shoved him away as well. 

“Leave me! Fuck!” she cried out, pacing, hands tangling in her hair in despair. 

Vorstag grabbed her again as she tried to fight him off. “Enough! This was a great day! A victory! Yes, the bastard flew off, but do you know what that means? He is afraid of you! Listen! Stop sobbing! Alduin is afraid! If he is afraid, he knows we can defeat him. We will defeat him.”

“No! I’m so tired! Why?!” she wailed. 

Paarthurnax landed hard on the ground after helping to fight Alduin. “Listen to this man, _dovahkiin._ It is true, this is not the final _krongah_ —victory. But not even the heroes of old were able to defeat Alduin in open battle. Alduin always was _pahlok_ —arrogant in his power. _Uznahgar paar_. He took domination as his birthright. This should shake the loyalty of the _dov_ who serve him. But Alduin does fear you.” 

Anaka shoved everyone away from her. Her tear-streaked face turned to stone. “I don’t care! I’m so fucking tired!”

“You may be tired, but you must continue. You must find Alduin. One of his allies could tell us. _Motmahus_ ... But it will not be easy to... convince one of them to betray him. Perhaps the _hofkahsejun_ —the palace in Whiterun... Dragonsreach. It was originally built to house a captive dovah. A fine place to trap one of Alduin’s allies, hmm? Dragon names are also shouts. Call him and he will come. Call Odahviing.” 

Vorstag looked at the old dragon, unable to contain his surprise. “Dragonsreach was built to hold a dragon? Of course, it is… hence the name.”

“I can’t go on… I’m… I’m so tired. Please don’t make me,” Anaka begged, weeping again. This time she let Halof hold her, planting her face into his chest as the tears continued to spill. 

Vorstag wished he was able to snap his fingers and make all the pain go away, but he was just a man. All he could do was help Anaka emotionally. He kneeled down in front of her as she laid on the ground being held, crying. 

“Let’s take you home, sweetheart. I think it’s time to see your family. What do you say? Do you want to see your parents, brothers, and sister? Would you like that? I think it’s time for a brief vacation.”

The girl looked up with damp blue eyes, willing to show a little hope. Anaka nodded that she wanted to see her family. 

“No, you must go now,” Paarthurnax insisted. 

Vorstag stood and faced the old dragon. “We will not. Anaka needs a break—a time to breathe. We are not dragons. We have feelings, emotions, and are not immortal. When she is rested, we will do as you say.” 

When they returned to the temple, Arngeir insisted Anaka stay with them. He wanted her to meditate her life away while the world burned. The only reason they didn’t leave right then was all needed food and rest. 

The following morning, they headed to the farm near Dawnstar, not bothering to head home. There was a sense of desperation to get Anaka to her family. Vorstag worried the girl was ready to break. The ride north was quiet and solemn. Not even Lucinia and Vorstag were barbing each other. Halof did his best to comfort the girl, holding her on the horse, planting kisses on her head. But Anaka was unresponsive. 

This was why Vorstag hated the gods, refused to believe in them. He understood it was contradictory because he didn’t know if they truly existed or not, but he wondered if Akatosh was real. Why pick a young girl to be the Dragonborn? What torment did he intend for the girl? Why did the god not choose someone who was a warrior who didn’t care if they died or not—who had nothing to lose? Perhaps it was because Anaka had everything to lose that kept her going. The mercenary would have been happy to take up the mantle if he could. 

As they got close to the farm near Dawnstar, Vorstag’s stomach clenched in pain. Not from hunger or injury, but from fear. The thick, black smoke in the distance didn’t bode well. 

“What is that?” Lucinia asked.

“I don’t know.”

Before they could do anything, Anaka grabbed the reins from Halof and pushed Bubbles to a hard gallop in the smoke's direction. Vorstag spurred Snowball to follow. When he arrived at the burning farm, Anaka was on her knees, hands in her face, body shaking from crying. Halof turned around when he heard Vorstag and Lucinia show up, tears in his eyes. 

Lucinia grabbed Vorstag and put her face in his chest, crying herself as he held her. The scene froze the mercenary into inaction as he stared at the destruction. The house was still on fire, crops scorched, the corpses of burned cows and horses littered near the stables. In the distance were three bodies burned beyond recognition. It just happened. If they arrived just an hour before they would have stopped from happening.

Were they bandits that attacked? Looting and burning weren’t unheard of, but Vorstag doubted it. Every instinct coursing through him said it was a dragon attack. It was as if the creature knew this was the family of the Dragonborn.

The mercenary shook away his shock and went to the girl, but she shoved him away in anger and pain. He understood loss, but not to this extent. If she was to save them all, it was over. The girl had nothing left to fight for. 

“Ana?” said a male voice.

Everyone turned to see a tall young man coming out of the woods, holding the hand of a little girl. Anaka’s eldest brother and little sister.

Anaka ran to her oldest brother and jumped into his arms. “What happened? Where are Mama and Papa… Alan? Are they with you? Are they OK?

The little girl wailed for her mother and father as Erald pulled away from his sister to hold the little girl. He lifted her into his arms, anger on his face. “It was a dragon, Ana. A big black one. He… he burned the farm down. We never stood a chance. Mama and Papa are…” the young man looked away as angry tears filled his eyes, lip quivering. “They are dead, Ana. Alan, too. The… the only reason Berdi and I are still alive is because we weren’t home. We come home to… that.” 

“No… it… it can’t be. It’s all my fault!” 

“How is this your fault, Ana?” Erald asked, eyes narrowing at his younger sister. 

“I fought him! He fled the battle and… and he came here! How did he know?” Her hands rushed to her face as she flooded in tears again. “Oh, Mama… Papa… poor Alan!” 

“You did this?” Anger tore through the young man, directing it at Ana. “You fucking killed our family? I thought you were supposed to save us! How could you let this happen?”

“Now hold on a moment, young man!” Vorstag said. 

“You don’t get to blame Ana!” Halof protested.

Erald directed his ire at the mercenary and his nephew. “You heard her. It was her own damn fault. Ana, I want you to leave and never return. I’m taking Berdi with me to start over somewhere.”

Anaka stood there as her face went from grief to stone. It was as if she shut off all emotion as the tears dried on her face. 

The tears spilled down her older brother’s face. “I don’t want to see you.”

“It will be done,” she said.

Before Vorstag could stop her, Anaka ran, jumped on Bubbles, and took off, then Halof ran after her jumping on Snowball, leaving Vorstag and Lucinia dumbfounded and stranded.

“Fuck!”

The mercenary turned his attention to Erald. “How dare you! Yes, you suffered a great loss, but so did Anaka. Now she doesn’t even have you. She did everything she could to save us all, and you spit on her efforts. If she wasn’t broken before, she is now.”

“What do you know about it? I lost everything!”

“You have Berdi and Anaka, and now you don’t even have that. I understand what it is to lose. I lost my parents, my little sister. I understand what it feels like to blame a sibling for my pain. I regret it every single day. You will find a way to reach out to her. If you don’t, it may be the end of all of us. I know you hurt and lashed out in anger, but you don’t realize what you have done. It was not her fault, despite what she said. Anaka said it because that is what she believes, but we were all there.”

“She didn’t fail?” Erald asked, now uncertain about his actions, looking off in the distance at Anaka galloped off. This thing happened when one lashed out emotionally, but Vorstag couldn’t blame him either.

“She failed… we all did. But it wasn’t her fault. It was none of our fault. We still have another way to stop him.”

The mercenary reached out and placed a hand on the young man’s shoulder. “Look son, I recommend you come to Whiterun and stay with us. We need to find Anaka before it’s too late and you need to tell her you love her, that you didn’t mean what you said. She needs you and Berdi more than ever. Her destiny as Dragonborn is killing her.”

“I… I need to think. I…”

“Well, you think. Lucinia and I have to find her. Meet us in Whiterun.”

It was good they weren’t too far from Dawnstar, where Vorstag rented a horse. It was the first time in a while he wasn’t certain what to do He had no way of finding Anaka or Halof. His only consolation was his nephew was with her, unless she escaped him, but he understood well enough Halof didn’t give up without a fight. If anything, the boy was determined when it came to Anaka.

“I don’t know what to do, Lucy.”

The mage looked up at him as they rode out of Dawnstar. “I don’t know either, love. I think maybe we should go back to Whiterun and tell Jolf and Gretga about what happened. If they are going to be gone without a trace for a while, his parents need to be informed.”

“You’re right. It’s a plan, at least. I wish Ana had a special place she went when she’s sad or something. Then again, this is beyond sadness. Gods, her poor family. That fucking dragon is a coward to lash out like that. I… I am unsure she’s going to recover.”

“She may not, Vorstag. She may not.”

The ride home was long and grueling. Vorstag and Lucinia were filled with worry, sometimes panic, unsure what was to come. Alduin killing Anaka’s family was genius in the sense that it would break her, stopping her from chasing after him. If she broke, then she couldn’t fight and defeat him. Now the two were worried about their future and that of their child.

Before they gave Jolf and Gretga the bad news, they needed to rest physically before they suffered any more emotional turmoil. Lucinia needed to sleep. Her growing pregnancy was leaving her more and more tired each day.

If a house fell on their heads, Vorstag and Lucinia wouldn’t have been more surprised as they were in that moment walking through their front door to find Halof sitting by the fire, reading a book as if he didn’t have a care in the world.

“I’m glad you both made it back okay,” he said. “I’m sorry I took Snowball. I… just reacted.”

“Where is she?” Vorstag asked.

“She’s resting upstairs, waiting for you.”

“What happened? Where did you all go?” he asked as Lucinia rushed upstairs to check on Anaka.

There was visible pain in Halof’s eyes, but he tried to hide it. “Go talk to her. I got her home, but she won’t… talk to me. All she told me was to tell you to see her when you got home.”

When the mercenary reached Anaka’s door to her room, Lucinia came out, tears in her eyes. “She won’t talk to me. I… I need a nap. I’m sorry, I can’t stay awake any longer. She only wants to see you.”

“Are you alright, mage?” he asked, touching her face, wiping a tear away.

Lucinia nodded. “I’m fine. I just hurt for her and I’m exhausted.”

He kissed the top of her head and sent her to their room. 

Vorstag knocked on Anaka’s door and didn’t wait for her to tell him to come in. He just walked in. The girl was on her bed, looking out the window, eyes hard, face granite. He sat down next to her and put an arm around her, but she shoved him off. 

“I don’t need your fucking affection. I need your sword—I need you as a mercenary.”

So that was how she was going to be. Her emotions buried deep to let the anger fester. Vorstag knew that feeling all too well. It was like an old and abusive spouse, hard to escape from.

“Ana, please…”

She looked at him sharply. “I don’t want your fucking words either!”

“Erald didn’t mean it, Ana. He was just angry. He loves you and knows it’s not really your fault.”

Tears sprung up in her eyes, but she pushed it away. “Of course it’s my fault. I’ve been busy playing with boys, relaxing, having fun. I haven’t fought hard enough. Alduin would be dead if I worked harder.”

“You don’t really believe that, do you? And Halof loves you, just like I love Lucinia.”

“My family is dead because of my complacency and failure.”

“I understand your pain, Ana. I understand you want to blame yourself. I have been in your shoes before, blaming…”

“I don’t want to fucking hear it!” she yelled, turning away to face out the window again.

“Then why am I here? Why do you only want to talk to me?”

“I told you already. I need your sword arm. Are you ready to fight by my side? Because if you’re not, I will find someone who will.”

“I would die for you, Ana. But it would be wise to have our team.”

“No. I can’t do it… I can’t lose him too, or Lucinia.”

_But she can lose me_. It hurt, like a stab to the heart, but Vorstag made his choice. Anaka and Lucinia needed him for this very reason, and he would stick by her until the end.

“They won’t stay behind. You realize this, right?”

“You will make them stay behind.”

“You should be aware by now, I can’t make Lucinia do anything she doesn’t want to do. Halof is just as stubborn when it comes to you.”

“They are not coming, and that is final. Find a way to keep them here. I am only asking you because I can’t do this alone.”

The hurt didn’t go away, but he hardened himself to do what he had to for her. “I will never let you do this alone. You should know that by now.”

Vorstag missed those days of her pestering, nagging, yammering, prodding into his life. He missed her warm smile and giggles. It wasn’t a surprise she lost those things. He knew she would. But her coldness was painful.

“In the morning we leave for Dragonsreach and capture us a dragon. Alduin will die. I will make sure it is painful.” 

The mercenary made one more attempt to console her, hold her, but she refused, kicking him out of her room. With one of her shouts, the door slammed behind him as he left, shaking the entire house.

“How is she?” Lucinia asked, rolling over in the bed when she heard him come in. “Her power just shook everything.”

“Hard. Angry. Shit, she reminds me of… well, me when I was her age. I lost my sister and hated Jolf for it, blaming him. It’s all so… eerily similar. She won’t listen to me. Ana just wants my sword arm and that I will be by her side until the end.”

Lucinia wrapped her arms around him when he crawled into bed with her. “And you will. That is never in doubt. I worry about her, but I don’t know what to do, mercenary.”

“Same here. She doesn’t want you and Halof to come with us—just me. Ana says she doesn’t want to lose you and Halof too.”

“I’m sorry, mercenary. That must have stung.”

“It did a little, but I think she worries for me too. She is smart enough to know that it will be hard to defeat the dragon without help. I have to admit, I’m in agreement with her. I would like you to stay behind too. Please, love. Please stay. I can’t lose you and the baby. Rest, take it easy… knit something.”

Lucinia cocked an eyebrow at him, not smiling. “Knit? You’re joking, right?”

“Yes, I’m joking. You’re a fighter, not a knitter. But I’m not joking about you staying behind this time. I know you promised Ana, but she wants you to stay too. Please, my mage.”

“Fine. I have to admit, I’m wiped out—tired all the time.”

Vorstag kissed her lips, holding her close to him. “Thank you for not fighting me on this.”

“What about Halof? What are you going to tell him?”

“Halof is more stubborn than you are. He’s going to be a tough nut to crack. I’m not sure any of us can convince him to stay behind.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading! Comments are always welcome and appreciated <3


	26. Stop a War to Stop a Dragon

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Anaka finds she has to stop a war, or at least obtain a truce, in order to capture Odhaviing. She is already at her wit's end, now she has to travel across all of Skyrim and back again to bring two stubborn men together and she has no patience for it. Lucinia is forced to stay behind this time while Anaka rushes and pushes Vortsag and Halof to keep up.

“No!” Halof shouted. “Where is she? She’s not about to leave me behind, not after everything we’ve been through!”

Vorstag had his hand pressed against his nephew’s chest to keep him from running up to Anaka’s room. She was in no condition to handle an argument. “Halof, nephew, please listen to reason. I’m in agreement with her. She doesn’t want you to die and neither do I. Lucinia is staying behind too.”

Halof’s eyes were tearing up in frustration. “Lucinia is pregnant. Of course, she stays behind. I can help! You know I’m capable, Uncle!”

He couldn’t blame the boy for being upset. If the roles were reversed, Vorstag would demand to go too. He felt the boy’s pain. Was he a boy anymore? Halof was a nearly grown man now. “You understand how Ana is right now. She just lost her family. I’m not sure she can take any more loss. If you or Lucinia died, it would kill her.”

“What about you? What if you die?”

“Don’t worry about me. She needs me there. It was what she hired me to do.”

Halof stared at him, his eyes shone with pity. He didn’t need the boy’s pity. Anaka cared about him too, but she needed help. “Don’t look at me like that. She cares, but I’m a warrior and Ana needs my help.”

“Fine, if she won’t see me, then you explain to her that there is nothing she can do to stop me. I will just follow you to the depths of Oblivion if I have to.”

“Dammit, son! And what about your parents? Hmm?”

“We all die sometime, Uncle.”

“Not at seventeen, you don’t.”

“I’m going and that’s final.”

Vorstag pinched the bridge of his nose in frustration. “You’re killing me, you know that? Fucking stubborn…”

“Pa says I’m just like you,” Halof said with a triumphant smirk. 

Vorstag couldn’t help but smile back. “Did he now? Yeah, I can see where he got that idea. I’m not sure if I’m honored or insulted.”

Halof stood close and poked a finger in Vorstag’s chest. “You can’t get rid of me that easily, Uncle.”

“Clearly. Well, I better give Ana the news. I’ll let _her_ kill you.”

Balgruuf was sitting on his throne looking bored, arguing with his Housecarl, Irileth. The Jarl had been sneaking out at night for a few pints with the locals, and it had Irileth worried. He complained about her fussing, defending his right to have some drinks with his own people.

Anaka coughed to get his attention, bowing. “I’m sorry to interrupt, but I have some news.”

“Ah, yes! Welcome, Dragonborn. What can I do for you?” he asked with a smile on his face. Vorstag wasn’t sure if he was actually happy to see Anaka or if he was glad for being distracted by Irileth’s overprotection.

“I need to trap a dragon in your palace,” she said, bluntly.

“I must have misheard you. I thought you asked me to help you trap a dragon in my palace.”

“It is the only way to stop the dragons, my lord.”

The Jarl huffed in irritation, looking at her as if she lost her mind. “There must be another way. The risk is too great.”

Vorstag would interject if Anaka needed it. For now, he and Halof stood behind her like sentries, letting her do all the talking. He couldn’t figure out how she pushed on after losing most of her family, but something was driving her. 

Halof and Anaka had a massive argument the night before about him going with her, but not even the Dragonborn could stop him. The boy was seething, both of them stubborn to the core, but he calmed the next day, happy she listened to him. Vorstag knew his nephew worried about Anaka growing away from him, but yet the boy persisted. Halof loved her that much.

“We have to stop Alduin. It’s the only way.” 

The Jarl sat up straighter. Anaka now had his full attention. “Alduin? The World-Eater himself? But... How can we fight him? Doesn’t his return mean it’s the end of times?”

“Only if we give up,” she explained, retaining her stoicism.

“I want to help you, Dragonborn. And I will. But I need your help first. Ulfric and General Tullius are both just waiting for me to make a wrong move. Do you think they will sit idle while a dragon is slaughtering my men and burning my city? No, I can’t risk weakening the city while we are under threat of enemy attack. I’m sorry.”

She, Halof, and Vorstag let out a collective sigh in frustration. Anaka was silent for a moment as she processed her next words. “Fine. What do I need to do to stop the enemy from attacking?”

Balgruuf scoffed. “You can’t be serious? I know you are the Dragonborn, but to stop an entire war by yourself?”

“I’m not by myself. I have those two,” she said, pointing behind her. “I can’t promise to stop the war, but I might be able to get both sides to sign a treaty to put it on hold for a while. Surely, both Tullius and Ulfric will see the threat of Alduin is more important than their damned squabbles.”

“Squabbles? Fine. Then, I would be happy to help you with your dragon-trapping scheme. But getting both sides to agree to a truce will be difficult at this point. The bitterness has gone too deep. What of the Greybeards? All Nords respect them. High Hrothgar is neutral territory. If you can get the Greybeards to host a peace council... then Ulfric and Tullius would have to listen.”

“I will speak with Arngeir,” she said, sighing again. Anaka couldn’t hide her frustration and Vorstag could hardly blame her since they would have to travel to High Hrothgar once again, and both sides of the province when they could have just called the dragon right then. Now they would be delayed for at least a few weeks, if not more.

“Maybe you can end the dragons and this war. That would be something to see,” the Jarl said.

Anaka ignored the man, bowed, and turned away. They had a trip to prepare for.

Lucinia stood next to Vorstag by the stables in the frosty morning, tears filling in her eyes, trying not to let them spill, but her lip quivered and they slipped down her face. She pulled her shawl tighter around her shoulders to keep out the chill, her frizzy hair whipping in the wind. He pulled her to him, and that simple gesture had her sobbing. 

“I’m going to hate sitting here waiting for you with worry. I should be out there with you all,” she said, her voice shaky.

“I know you will worry. I will try to send you word whenever we reach a town.”

Lucina pulled his face down to her, her hands cold on his skin. “You better get this through your thick skull, mercenary. You are to come back to me, alive and unharmed. Do you understand? I would also like Ana and Halof back in one piece as well. Promise me.”

Vorstag sighed, pressing his forehead to hers. “You know I can’t make a promise like that, mage.”

She looked away, wiping the tears off her face. He pulled her back to him, pressing his lips to hers, giving her a gentle kiss. “I will do everything I can to bring us all back safely. You know I will.”

“Mara’s mercy, this is going to kill me.”

“We will be fine. We are just going to High Hrothgar, Windhelm then Solitude… ugh, then fucking back to High Hrothgar. Anaka is… going to have a rough go at this, and I can hardly blame her. She’s struggling, Lucy.”

“I know she is. Take care of her.”

“I love you, mage,” he said, meaning it but also to end the discussion. They had to get going. Anaka and Halof were already on Bubbles, the girl’s face stoic, but he knew she was impatient.

“I love you too, mercenary.”

They kissed each other once more and Vorstag pulled himself up on Snowball. As they trotted off towards the mountain, he turned and waved. Lucinia waved back and then rushed off. Dammit, he hated leaving her behind too. He was used to her always being by his side. It was going to kill him too, but at least she was safe at home.

The road to High Hrothgar was quiet and lonely. Vorstag was missing Lucinia, used to her banter. He understood why Anaka was so quiet, but he missed her chattering too. It saddened him that her destiny changed her so much. 

And Halof was hanging by the thin thread holding their relationship together. If anything else happened to the girl, the thread would snap in two. But as they camped, Anaka, while not saying much, leaned into his nephew, his arm about her. The boy could not contain his smile at being able to hold her, but still, they did not speak. Perhaps they didn’t need to. He seemed content enough with what little Anaka was willing to give him.

High Hrothgar loomed in the distance as they climbed the Seven Thousand Steps, leg muscles burning as they rushed to get to the top of the mountain. Anaka wasted no time getting her mission over with. 

It always seemed Arngeir knew when Anaka arrived because as soon as they walked in, he was always there to greet them. 

“Greetings, Dragonborn,” he said with a slight bow to his head.

“I need your help to capture a dragon,” she said, getting straight to the point.

“We are not warriors. What is overlooked in the Dragonborn is not permitted to any other followers of the Way of the Voice.”

“I will deal with capturing the dragon. I need to stop the war.”

“You misunderstand our authority. The Greybeards have never involved themselves in political affairs.”

“ _Hi fen aak_ … you are to help,” she hissed, having no patience for the old man and his stubborn ways. Vorstag felt similarly. “Jarl Balgruuf won’t help as the war rages on. We need Dragonsreach to capture the dragon.”

“I see. The dragon will lead you to Alduin, but without the Jarl’s help…” Arngeir said, getting it.

“Look, people respect the Greybeards. They will listen to you.”

The old man nodded, bowing his head again. “Paarthurnax has made his decision to help you. This is the road we have to walk. Even the Greybeards must bend to the winds of change, it seems. So be it. Tell Ulfric and General Tullius that the Greybeards wish to speak to them. We will see if they still remember us.”

“Thank you,” Vorstag said as Anaka walked off without a word of appreciation. 

“Ana, don’t you think we should stay here and rest? We can head out in the morning,” Halof asked, with a gentleness of walking on eggshells. 

“No. We move on. We can stay the night in Ivarstead. I’m not staying here with stubborn old men who do nothing but meditate away their fucking lives.”

Halof and Vorstag looked at each other in silent communication and a shrug. There wasn’t much they could do about it. The girl was going to push them to keep moving.

The following morning, they made their way to Windhelm. It wasn’t any closer than Solitude, High Hrothgar being the middle point of Skyrim. Vorstag explained to Anaka and Halof that Ulfric would probably be the most difficult to deal with. They should tackle him first, then move on to Solitude to convince General Tullius. The Imperial man was known to be more reasonable.

Several miles out, a snowstorm hit the group. The wind was biting; the snow stinging. The three hunkered down and kept traveling, pushing the horses. Vorstag wanted to find shelter and wait it out, but Anaka refused to stop claiming it wouldn’t take long to reach Windhelm where the horses would be safer in the stables. It sounded reasonable, but that wasn’t why she was pushing so hard.

It was late morning when they walked into the Palace of Kings, with Ulfric sitting on his throne. Vorstag wondered if the Jarls got together and shared their ‘how to look bored’ poses. The Jarl and rebel leader sat, head resting on a fist, lost in thought until he eyed the weary travelers headed his way. He was at least fifteen years Vorstag’s senior, with neat long blonde hair, intelligent blue eyes—a typical Nord, except he oozed power and strength.

“Only the foolish or the courageous approach a Jarl without summons... Do I know you?” he said, eyes narrowing, mostly directed at Vorstag, who would be the bigger threat between the three. 

“I am the Dragonborn,” Anaka said by way of introduction, bowing to him.

“You’re a child,” he said in dismissal.

“And you’re a traitor.” Anaka didn’t mean it as a threat. “My point is that all of us carry titles that do little to describe who we truly are.”

“Why are you here, child?” It was clear Jarl Ulfric wasn’t ready to relinquish the title he believed her to be.

Anaka paid no mind to the bitter man. “I have a message from the Greybeards.”

“It’s about time they turned their gaze from the heavens, back to our bleeding homeland. What do they want?”

“You are mistaken. They want to negotiate a truce until we deal with the dragon menace.”

“I have the greatest respect for the Greybeards, of course. And the dragon attacks are a growing plague. But the political situation is still delicate. Not all the Jarls are fully committed to supporting me as High King. I can’t afford to appear weak. I can’t agree to this unless Tullius himself will be there.”

Anaka lost all decorum and respect. Not the best reaction if she wanted a mediation between the two warring factions. But Vorstag remained silent and allowed her to say her peace. If he needed to step in he would, but he didn’t want to overstep his bounds and have Anaka lose her credibility. “Fuck your politics! Alduin has returned,” she spat. “I have more important things to do than handhold a couple of old men who are too stubborn to see the real threat.” 

The girl was back to her adult side proving Ulfric was wrong about her being just a child. Her words certainly got the Jarl’s attention despite her disrespect.

“Alduin? The World-Eater of song and legend? If that’s true... well, it changes the situation, doesn’t it? Even Tullius may be forced to talk sense in the face of such a threat.”

“Does that mean you will attend the peace council, then?”

“I can’t agree to any peace council until I know Tullius will be there. The other Jarls could take that as a sign of weakness.”

_Stubborn fool_. It’s as if the Jarl wanted a war. He didn’t seem to care about the end of the world. Some men were just bent on destruction, uncaring about anyone else.

“Showing respect to the Greybeards will increase your prestige,” Anaka said. _Smart girl_. “And Tullius will look weak, not you if he refuses.”

“You’re right. Let Tullius be the one to insult the Greybeards by refusing their summons. Show up these Imperials for the foreigners they really are. Very well, I’ll give Tullius one more chance to quit Skyrim with his tail between his legs.”

Anaka bowed and left the throne room, back out into the wintery day. “Let’s stay at Candlehearth Hall. I want to get moving, but this storm is giving us little choice.”

All three of them sat by the fire in silence, eating a small meal, drinking mead watered down for Halof and the girl. Anaka should be proud of herself and her success so far to get the Greybeards to host the peace talks and Ulfric, the most stubborn of men, to attend.

“Ana, I’m proud of how you handled Ulfric. You have become quite the leader, showing him you’re not just a young girl, but the Dragonborn. Well done.”

She allowed herself a small smile, but her eyes were still flat, conveying nothing. “Thanks, Vorstag.”

“How are you holding up, honey?” He had to ask, taking advantage of her talking to him. Vorstag knew she didn’t want to talk, but she had to know he cared and worried about her. He watched her play with her fingers in her lap, looking at the fire, wondering if she was going to respond. Halof grabbed one of her hands, rubbing her knuckles. She didn’t look at him, but she didn’t pull away either. It was something.

“I’ve been better,” she said with a breathy laugh, but there was no humor in it. It was a rare moment of vulnerability she showed them.

“We are all keenly aware of that, sweetheart.”

“I miss them and it hurts. The pain is—”

“Unbearable,” Vorstag finished for her.

“Yeah. I hope… Well, it doesn’t matter what I hope. I just want to get this over with.”

“We all love you and will do anything for you, Ana. We will not leave your side,” Halof said. That boy always knew the right things to say to her, and his words brought out a little bit in her. 

Anaka’s eyes teared up as she looked back at the fire. “I know...”

Halof seemed to take a risk and pulled her to sit on his lap as he held her. She tucked her face in his neck as if to hide her emotions spilling over and perhaps she was. Vorstag felt pangs missing his mage and watching Anaka’s pain. He too wanted all this over so he could spend the rest of his life with his wife and their child. Maybe they could have several children if she was up for it. He laughed in his head, unable to contain his smile at the irony. When he first met Anaka and Lucinia, he wanted nothing to do with children. The girl’s incessant gabbing left him irritable at the time. Now he missed it.

Without removing her face from Halof’s neck, she reached out a hand in Vorstag’s direction. He took it in his, patting it with the other. It was a small, but sweet gesture that gave him hope she would be fine.

It took two days for the storm to end while they waited it out in Windhelm. The snow was deep, but their horses could take it, built for the cold. They were hardy.

They were a day’s ride to Solitude, close to Morthal when they heard it, becoming ever-familiar after over a year of hunting them. Vorstag could hear Anaka whimper, though he wasn’t sure if it was from not wanting to face another dragon or wanting revenge for the death of her family. Paarthurnax changed their views about dragons until Alduin killed her mother, father, and brother. If he were in her shoes, he would want the death of all dragons, especially Alduin’s. It was the most likely reason she was pushing everything so hard.

The mercenary looked over at the girl. Her face was hard, brows furrowed in anger. Yes, she wanted to kill it, drawing her sword. 

All eyes were on the sky when they heard the roar again, watching it come down from the mountains as if sensing the presence of the Dragonborn. Maybe it could.

As the creature flew overhead, trying to blast them with fire, they drove the horses away from danger, jumping off, readying their weapons. Vorstag slapped the horses on their backsides so they took off away from danger, hoping they would find them again.

Anaka wasted no time, using her Dragonrend shout on the creature, forcing it to the ground, landing hard. The ground shook under its weight, the sound like thunder. Arrows were flying past Vorstag’s head as Halof pelted the beast with his bow. 

“ _Hi fen oblaan_ … die!” Anaka yelled, using her dragon language.

It sounded as if the dragon chuckled, despite being pinned to the ground, pelted with arrows. “ _Zu’u fen ni oblaan daar sul_ … you will die, not I. Alduin will make me his general with your death, _Dovahkiin_ , child _joor._ ”

Vorstag could feel the heat of the flames narrowly missing him as he dove out of the way. Anaka’s ward protected her, shouting again, this time with ice as the dragon froze for a moment, but broke free before the mercenary could reach it to kill it.

“Alduin killed my family and now you will pay for his actions… all you dragons will. _Hi dovah fen dir fan fin dinok do dii brod!_ ”

“ _Joore fod oblaan!_ Mortals all need to bow before us or die!”

The dragon tried to fly off once more before Anaka shouted her Dragonrend again, forcing it to the ground as it wailed in anger, trying to bathe them all in flames. Vorstag stood there, unable to reach the dragon, listening to the back and forth as the dragon and Dragonborn taunted each other. Once the dragon was down, Anaka sprinted to the other side of it, stabbing as it tried to bounce away, spewing fire at her, but her body became ethereal as the flames spat past her.

While she distracted it, Vorstag had his chance, running toward the creature, but it turned just in time, hearing him come. It’s tail flung at the mercenary, sending his body flying back. The air felt like it was sucked out of his lungs as he gasped for breath. It took a moment for his lungs to fill again, and got up, wincing in pain. There was at least one rib broken. “Fuck,” he grunted and ran, pushing the pain away as he taught Anaka and Halof so many times before.

The girl had frozen the dragon again by the time he reached it, stabbing it in its side, using it to propel her onto the top. By the time she reached its back, it broke free of the ice, trying to shake her off. Vorstag used the opportunity to distract the beast. 

“Over here, fucking asshole!” he yelled, dodging away from another blast of fire, wincing in pain from his broken ribs.

The dragon looked like a giant pincushion with all the arrows protruding from its scales. It was covered in blood, but undaunted by Halof’s attacks, still focused on Anaka, but Vorstag kept pulling the creature away from her.

When the mercenary rolled toward the dragon and came upright, he sliced at the dragon’s tendon. Now the creature was hopping on one foot, blood pouring out as Anaka struggled to hold on, climbing higher and higher up its neck. The girl screamed, anger and pain tearing through her voice as her hands came down, dagger in hand, thrusting it through the skull—a surefire way to kill a dragon.

Anaka toppled down off the dragon, and Vorstag readied himself to catch her. She landed in his arms, both falling to the ground. The broken ribs in his chest sent a streak of pain down his body, but at least the girl landed on something softer than she otherwise would have.

On her hands and knees, she absorbed the dragon’s soul; her face was a combination of rage and glee as she soaked up the vileness from the dragon. She screamed, clutching her head until the bands of light stopped wrapping around her body. All that was remained of the dragon was a husk of bones. The girl pulled her dagger from the skull and whistled. The two horses came out of hiding, running towards her. 

“I didn’t know you could do that,” Vorstag said.

“I’ve been training them for this type of scenario.”

“Are you okay, Ana?” Halof asked, rushing towards her but keeping back, face filled with uncertainty. They were all familiar with how Anaka could get after absorbing a dragon's soul. 

Jumping on Bubbles, she waited for Halof to get on, not saying anything. Vorstag jumped on Snowball and followed the girl up the mountain.

“Is there a Word Wall up there?” he asked.

“Yes.”

The warm and bright day was a relief after all the cold and snow from their travels. The ground was wet and slushy as the snow melted. It would have put Vorstag in a better mood under normal circumstances, but everyone was punchy and irritable, especially Anaka. If she wasn’t silently brooding, she was snapping at either him or Halof. They were used to it. The girl was always angry after absorbing dragon souls. It would take some time before she settled down, adapting to it, but as time went on, she grew worse as if her own soul could handle only so much.

Castle Dour represented Anaka’s mood perfectly, at least in name. She stormed in, ignoring the stern woman who stood to bar the girl’s way. 

“I need to speak with General Tullius on an important matter,” she said.

The woman, arms folded, scoffed at her. “What can a child possibly have need of the General’s time? Go home, back to playing with dolls, girl.”

Anaka’s hands fisted and Vorstag could almost see the numbers she was counting in her head to calm herself. “This ‘child’ is the Dragonborn and Thane of Whiterun!” It was a rare thing for her to use her title of Thane, always embarrassed by it. Using Dragonborn was bad enough, she would tell him.

“Dragonborn my ass,” the female soldier said, walking away.

The girl reached for the woman, placing her hands tightly about her skull. Vorstag remembered when Anaka did that to him and the flood of painful visions. But she was gentle with him, while rough with the soldier woman, having no more patience.

The woman turned around, grabbing her sword and Anaka shouted, disarming her. “I’m not here to fight! I need to speak with the General immediately and I’m fucking tired of being treated like a child. I have killed fucking dragons for fuck’s sake!”

“It’s fine, Legate. I will speak with the Dragonborn,” said an older man with white cropped hair. He was old but dignified, eyes keen, missing nothing.

“But sir, she…”

“Enough! If she is the Dragonborn, then I will speak to her. We have a dragon problem, in case you haven’t noticed.”

“Yes, sir,” the woman bowed and left the room.

General Tullius turned his attention back to Anaka. “Now, what can I do for you, Dragonborn?”

“I have a message from the Greybeards, General.”

“The Greybeards? What do those old hermits want with me?”

“We are setting up a peace council in High Hrothgar.”

“Why? There’s nothing to discuss as long as that traitor Ulfric is in arms against his rightful Emperor,” the man spat. Vorstag could hardly blame the man. Ulfric was agitating, at best.

Anaka pinched the bridge of her nose as Vorstag often did, begging for internal patience. “You realize we have a dragon problem, right? We need a truce until I can get the dragon menace under control.”

The General nodded, sighing. “Yes, they are getting to be a problem. But I wasn’t sent to Skyrim to fight dragons. My job is to quell this rebellion, and I intend to do just that, dragons or no dragons.”

“I will handle the fucking dragons. Gods forbid anyone out there help while I’m saving their fucking hides! I am asking you to stop a war long enough for me to do my job. Then you can go back to bashing your fucking heads in for all I care.”

“There’s no need for that attitude—”

“I have every need for this attitude if you have any idea what I have gone through! Look… Ulfric has already agreed, though it wasn’t easy. And the Empire can’t afford to snub the Greybeards.”

“Has he? I suppose he doesn’t want to miss a chance to bluster about the Empire’s many crimes. He’s probably hoping I’ll refuse so he can blame the Empire for being unreasonable. I think I must disappoint him yet again. And you may have a point about the Greybeards… Nords and their—”

Anaka raised a hand to silence him. “Don’t. I am a Nord, as are my two friends here. Spare me your insults. Can I expect you then?”

“Yes. Yes, fine, I’ll come to this Greybeard council. For all the good it will do,” Tullius said, nodding.

Anaka didn’t even thank the man or say goodbye, turning on her heels, heading out the door.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading! Comments are always welcome and appreciated <3
> 
> Next: Temporary Peace and Dragons


	27. Catching Dragons

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's temporary peace. Now it's time to catch a dragon and finally be done with Alduin. After spending some time home for a couple of days of rest, Vorstag, Anaka, and Halof head to Dragonsreach. Anaka decides it's time to leave her loved ones behind and fight the beast alone, but Vorstag made a promise.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> NSFW Content

The exhaustion was evident on their faces as they slowly ascended the Seven Thousand Steps. Anaka had been pushing them hard, riding straight through some nights. At least the poor horses were resting comfortably in the stables at Ivarstead. Vorstag was grateful Lucinia stayed behind. Pushing so hard would have been detrimental to her health and their baby. Even he was feeling it, not just from the tiredness, but Anaka’s mood. It was spilling over into Halof as well. All of them were irritable, but they pushed on with little complaint. At least they didn’t run into any more dragons.

Shor’s ass, he missed Lucinia. Vorstag tried to write as much as he could, surprised Anaka gave him the time to even do that when they reached towns and cities. At least his mage was less worried about the news he sent her. Maybe she was more worried because it wasn’t as if their travels were filled with joy, despite trying to keep his words positive.

At least they arrived at High Hrothgar before the two warring parties. The Greybeards were kind enough to fix them a meal. When they were done eating, Vorstag, Anaka, and Halof took quick naps. The Imperials and Stormcloaks were expected early evening.

Despite the rest and food, Anaka looked tired, eyes with dark circles. She sat at the head of the table, with Halof close by her side. Vorstag leaned up against a wall, hidden in the shadows, watchful. He wanted to have a good view of everyone in case there was any threat or danger towards Anaka.

Anaka, like Vorstag, had no idea of land territories or politics. She did her best to make both sides happy. Ulfric received Markarth but lost Riften to the Imperials. Vorstag saw it as a simple trade of territories, both sides not much better off than they were before. Perhaps it was a positioning thing for the war. He didn’t get it. Vorstag understood how to fight and kill, but he was no strategist.

There was a period of so much arguing, Anaka threatened to use her Shout and force them into submission if they didn’t work it out. All in all, she managed to get both sides to stop fighting long enough for her to end Alduin. But the mercenary knew well enough the fight would resume. It was a shame really.

When discussions were over, no one was happy. Anaka stood, bracing her hands on the table, eyeing both of the powerful men. “I want you two, Ulfric and General, to think about this. If and when I kill Alduin, do you really think the people are going to want more war? Aren’t their lives hard enough through poverty, famine, and dragons without you two making things worse? Don’t make me get involved, or you both will regret it.”

They dropped Halof at home first when they returned to Whiterun. Lucinia was at his brother’s house, spending time with Gretga and the younger children. When she saw Vorstag, her eyes watered, running to him. She jumped in his arms as he lifted and spun her around, her legs wrapped around his waist.

“Shor’s beard, mage! How much weight have you gained!” Vorstag said, chuckling.

Lucinia playfully slapped him. “You’re a beast!”

“But I’m your beast.”

“I’m so happy you are home.”

“Me too. I’ve missed you something awful.”

Anaka had already rushed home to sleep as Vorstag and Lucinia walked home, hand in hand.

“Tell me the truth. How is our girl?” Lucinia asked.

“Not good, but she pushes herself and keeps on going. It’s something to admire. She doesn’t say much, moody, and Halof hangs by a thread. The dragon we had to fight didn’t help matters either. But damn if she didn’t put a Jarl and a General in their place, threatening her Shout on them if they didn’t behave. The girl is no politician or diplomat, but she got the job done.”

“So, there’s a truce then to the war?”

Vorstag nodded. “Aye.”

“Mara have mercy. At least something went right for her. Now you... shit, now you two are going to have to find him, Alduin.”

The mercenary knew when Lucinia swore, she was stressed and worried. “Aye. Now we have to capture ourselves a dragon. I don’t know how we are going to do that, but it has to be done in order to find Alduin.”

“Do you know how long you are staying home until you head to Dragonsreach?”

He shook his head. “Anaka didn’t say. She’s too tired right now. We really pushed ourselves going from one end of Skyrim to the other. I hope she gives herself a few days to rest before she fights again. She’s going to need her strength.”

Lucinia let go of his hand, stood in front of him, a hand pressed to his chest. The look in her green eyes shone bright, a smile tugging on her mouth. “So, mercenary… how tired are you?”

“Is that how it is?” he laughed. It felt good to laugh again.

“That is how it is.”

“I’m exhausted, but I always have time for you,” he said, bending down to kiss her. “Let me at least bathe. It’s been… days and even then it was a quick splash in a freezing pond.”

“While you do that, I will send your armor off to the blacksmith, Adrianne, to clean.”

“What would I do without you?”

“Hmm, living a lonely and sad existence, pining away the days wishing you had someone as wonderful as me?”

Vorstag barked out a laugh. “You know me so well.”

Lucinia squealed with laughter when he lifted her into his arms to carry her home. “Seriously, you’re dense, woman.”

“Beast!”

He almost fell asleep in the bath he was so tired, but his drive to have his wife superseded his need to sleep. 

Vorstag walked into their room, a towel wrapped around his waist, a smile tugging at his mouth seeing Lucinia sprawled naked in their bed. She was on her tummy, head on folded arms looking at him, eyes coy. He piled into bed, lying down next to her, his hand rubbing gentle swirls on the soft skin of her ass. 

Sitting up, he kissed the plump round flesh. “Gods, I’ve missed you,” he whispered into her, fingers trailing down to her warm core, already wet for him. 

“I’ve missed you too,” she said, sitting up and pushing him onto his back. 

“No, I want to taste you.”

“Not tonight, mercenary. You’re tired. I just want you inside me. Just sit back and I will do all the work.”

“You are too good to me, mage.”

“If you think you’re getting out of taste testing, then you’re sorely mistaken. I expect full-blown lovemaking tomorrow.”

“Yes, ma’am!”

Lucinia giggled, kissing him. “See, now you’re getting it.”

She straddled him, her core hovering over his hardness. He could feel her heat, so close, tantalizing him. “Don’t keep me waiting, woman!”

“I aim to please,” she said, grabbing him and lowering herself as he plunged into her. 

Vorstag hissed in pleasure, feeling her tightness wrap around him like the most perfect glove. Her hands were pressed to his chest as she got used to him, wiggling about. He reached for her breasts, touching their softness, missing them. They were getting larger from her pregnancy and he was quite okay with that. He loved them.

She sat on him, unmoving, enjoying the feel of each other, the warmth. Lucinia bent towards him, face to face as she kissed him, their tongues reaching out to each other. He nibbled on her bottom lip when she pulled away. Her hair curly fell on his face, tickling his nose.

With eyes locked on each other, she rolled her hips, slowly with purpose. Just enough for him to want more, but he didn’t press her, letting her go at her own pace. Vorstag watched her beautiful green eyes glowing in the candlelight, her lips parted, swollen in lust. He loved watching her while they made love. She was a beautiful sight. 

Lucinia seemed tired of the slowness of it all, eager for more as her movements sped up, bouncing on him. He grabbed her swaying breasts, pinching her nipples as her eyes closed, hitching her breath to the sensation. Vorstag’s own eyes closed, wanting to focus solely on her warmth and wetness as she moved. The heat built slow and steady between his legs. His flesh broke out in goosebumps as he drew near to his climax. It was a feeling he only got when he was with Lucinia. No other woman could make him feel the way she did. Perhaps it was the added love involved in their union. 

She fell to him, chest to chest as he clung to her. His grip was tight with an explosion of thrusts from his hips as he took over. Her scream was muffled with her face in his neck as she came, tightening around him in lovely pulses, a favorite feeling of his, next to his own orgasms. He held on and on until she was done as he followed through his own, fingers tangling in her thick hair, moaning into her.

Exhaustion and numbness took hold of him as Vorstag trailed delicate fingers along her back. It was cold without her when she pulled him out of her, but she curled up on his side, a leg draped over his thighs. No words were spoken as sleep took hold of him.

Vorstag’s eyes opened, noting it was still dark out, wondering what woke him up. Then he heard the pounding on his door. Lucinia was still sleeping. The woman could sleep through a war. The thought made him chuckle as he gently pulled out from under her. Yanking on his breeches to the incessant pounding, he opened it in irritation to see Anaka standing there.

“What’s wrong?” he asked, now worried at the look on her face. The girl looked pale, eyes wide.

“I… I’m sorry… I shouldn’t have…,” she stammered.

He blew out a breathy sigh and pulled the girl to him in an embrace because it seemed she needed one, though awkward as he had no tunic on, but she didn’t seem to mind. “Slow down and tell me what’s going on.”

“It’s… it’s nothing. I just had a horrible dream. I… I feel stupid now for waking you. I hope I didn’t bother Lucy.”

“Do you want to talk about it?”

Anaka shook her head and walked away, apologizing again before Vorstag grabbed her hand and pulled her inside. “Go lie down next to Lucy. You need someone right now. I will go crawl into your bed.”

“No, I couldn’t…” Though she was denying his request, he could see her eyes shift knowing it was exactly what she wanted. 

“Come on, honey,” Lucinia said, her voice sleepy. “Give me a second to throw something on. With covers to her chest, the mage threw on her shift and opened the covers for the girl to climb in. “It’s fine, sweetheart.”

The girl made her decision and climbed under the covers as Lucinia wrapped her arms around her. 

Vorstag didn’t know what time it was, but he still needed more sleep, so he went to Anaka’s room and fell asleep in her bed, though it was a bit small for him, feet hanging off the end. 

It wasn’t unusual for the girl to have nightmares, but it was the first time she needed to crawl into their bed as younger children were prone to do, which worried him. At least she had Lucinia to hold her and calm her. 

As if on instinct, Halof was pounding on their door the next morning. Vorstag had not even had tea yet, grumbling as he went to answer it. He walked away, rubbing the sleep out of his eyes, yawning as he let the boy shut the door behind him.

“Tea?” he asked.

“No thanks, Uncle.”

“I don’t enjoy being disturbed before my morning tea, Halof.”

“I’ve traveled with you long enough to know.”

Vorstag eyed the boy as he boiled water over the fire. He looked nervous, pacing. “Sit before I tie you to a chair. Now tell me what’s going on.”

“She’s going to go today, isn’t she?”

“Go where?”

“I know you’re tired, Uncle, but you know what I mean. Ana is going to Dragonsreach today.”

Another yawn and Vorstag shook his head. “She hasn’t said.”

Halof looked like he wanted to pace again, but Vorstag’s look kept him in place. “I’m not going to be left behind. I know she will try it again. I want to be there.”

“As I said, she hasn’t told me the plan. Look… she had a rough night last night from nightmares.” Vorstag raised a hand to keep the boy from rushing up to her. “She’s fine and still sleeping in Lucinia’s bed. We can talk about all this when she comes down.”

As if she sensed Halof was there, Anaka walked down the steps with Lucinia trailing behind her. “Halof, why are you here?” she asked.

The boy stood, a mixture of emotions crossed his face from frustration, to worry, to relief, she hadn’t left yet. “I am going with you to trap the dragon and you can’t make me stay behind.”

“How did you know I was going to do that today?”

“Because I know you. You were going to tell Vorstag this morning and leave me behind. I won’t do it.”

Anaka reached for her mug of tea Vorstag handed her, blowing the steam, and took a sip. “I won’t leave you behind.”

That worried Vorstag. Her words made him suspicious and wondered what she was up to. But Halof, relieved, reached for her, but the girl flinched. Vorstag could see the pain in the boy's eyes, but if he was anything, he was persistent. He pulled Anaka to him and held her. It took a moment before she responded, her tears shaking all of them to the core. The boy had a way of reaching her, which was the reason he kept trying.

“I’m so tired,” she wept. “Just… so very tired.”

Lucinia and Vorstag both wrapped their arms around the children, one family of friends and supporters who cared about each other. It was painful to watch Anaka break, but he thought it was better than holding it all in. The mercenary was more than familiar with holding back the pain, not letting it out. 

After a moment, Anaka pushed away. Halof grabbed her face in gentle hands, wiping away her tears, and kissed her forehead, much the way Vorstag did for Lucinia when she needed it. 

“I love you,” his nephew told her.

She tried to smile and nodded. “I love you, too.”

Anaka seemed so much older than her fifteen years. The whole mess aged her mentally and physically. Vorstag hoped this would all soon be over and she could live the rest of her life in happiness. The girl deserved it.

It was after lunch Anaka, Vorstag and Halof stood in front of Jarl Balgruuf as he sat on his throne.

“Are you ready to trap a dragon, my lord?” Anaka asked.

The Jarl stood up and nodded. “My men will be ready when you are, Dragonborn. Have you arranged the truce?”

“Yes, my lord. There will be no fighting until I defeat Alduin. I tried to create a permanent peace, but I’m afraid I’m no diplomat.”

“You did well, Dragonborn.”

Jarl Balgruuf walked away as the three of them followed him up the steps to his war room and out the large wooden doors to a massive balcony which Balgruuf called the Great Porch. On either side of the porch were mechanisms to hold a dragon. Vorstag hoped it would be enough.

“We will need to draw the creature in here where my men will set the trap to hold the beast. You will take over from there, Dragonborn, and find out if he will lead you to Alduin.”

Anaka nodded and made her way to the end of the balcony, arms wrapped around her. It was a cold and windy day as her blonde braids whipped about her face. Looking up to the sky, she Shouted to the heavens. “ _Odahviing_!”

Paarthurnax explained dragon names were shouts. Odahviing in particular would be egotistical enough to respond. Once he made his appearance, she would use her Dragonrend Shout to bring the creature down and lure him inside the porch.

The guards stood ready with swords and bows, while Jarl Balgruuf drew his axe, ready. Vorstag had to admit he was surprised the Jarl was involving himself, but he was glad for it. It was important to the people to know their leader was willing to fight for them.

All eyes were on the sky, waiting with no signs of the dragon, so Anaka did it again. It took so long, they were beginning to wonder if it would respond. Not long after, they heard the roar in the distance. Soon, the speck flying towards them grew larger and larger. Vorstag had to admit the creature was beautiful. The other dragons were mainly drab in color, but this one was a bright red.

“Shor’s bones! Here it comes!” shouted a guard.

“Steady! Steady, now! Keep under cover until it's down!” ordered the Jarl.

Anaka stood as she conjured a bow, waiting until the creature was close enough to bring him down. Vorstag and Halof held back by the doors. They would help lure the dragon once it landed.

The beast flew overhead several times, fast. Most of the arrows missed him, even when he flew right over their heads, grabbing a guard with taloned feet and dropping him to his death. One more five over their heads and Anaka was ready as she shouted at him, the magic pulling the dragon down onto the large balcony. 

Balgruuf wasted no time issuing orders to his men. “Get back! Get back! We need to trap it, not kill it! That's it! Now, wait until he's inside!”

Anaka fired her arrows walking backward as the dragon snapped them. He managed to grab another guard in his mouth, long teeth crushed him and spat him to the ground. Now his eyes were on Anaka, knowing her for what she was as he raced toward her, his fire blasted over their heads.

Their intention wasn’t to kill him. It would be a wasted effort to do so. She needed him to take her to Alduin. 

“Now!” Anaka ordered as soon as the dragon was in place.

Two guards on either side let loose the levers as the trap came up and down on the dragon, trapping him in wood and iron, his neck tight around the entrapment, unable to fly away. 

“It’s holding!” someone yelled out.

The dragon struggled in his bindings unable to get out, then held, watching the girl approach him. “ _Zu'u bonaar_. You went to a great deal of trouble to put me in this... humiliating position. _Hind siiv_ Alduin, hmm? No doubt you want to know where to find Alduin?”

“You’re not a dumb as you look,” she said. “ _Hi los dii nu_... you’re mine. Where is the _nikriin_... coward hiding?”

“ _Rinik vazah_. An apt phrase. Alduin _bovul_. One reason I came to your call was to test your _Thu'um_ for myself. Many of us are questioning Alduin's lordship, whether his _Thu'um_ was truly the strongest. Among ourselves, of course. _Mu ni meyye_. None were yet ready to openly defy him.”

Before Anaka could open her mouth, Farengar walked up to the dragon with wonder on his face. “Incredible! Uh... sir, you have no idea how long I have waited for such an opportunity! I would be most appreciative if you would permit me to perform some, ah, tests on you. Purely in the interests of the advancement of knowledge.”

“Be gone, mage. Do not test me!” Odahviing roared, snapping his jaws at the mage

Farengar squealed and jumped back, but he was not one to be deterred. “I assure you, you will not even notice me. Most of them are hardly painful at all to a large dragon such as yourself. Surely you won't miss a few scales... or a small amount of blood.”

“Enough!” yelled Anaka, losing her patience. “Leave, now!”

The girl turned her attention back to the dragon. “You were telling me where to find Alduin.”

“ _Unslaad krosis_. Innumerable pardons. He has traveled to Sovngarde to regain his strength, devouring the _sillesejoor._.. the souls of the mortal dead. A privilege he jealously guards... His door to Sovngarde is at Skuldalfn, one of his ancient fanes high in the eastern mountains. _Mindoraan, pah ok middovahhe lahvraan til_. I surely do not need to warn you that all his remaining strength is marshaled there. _Zu'u lost ofan hin laan_... now that I have answered your question, will you allow me to go free?”

“No. Not until Alduin is defeated.”

Odahviing paused, scrutinizing Anaka as if debating on how much to tell her. “Ah, well… Hmm... _krosis_. There is one... detail about Skuldalfn I neglected to mention.”

“I’m waiting. Tell me what you know.”

“Only this. You have the _Thu'um_ of a _dovah_ , but without the wings of one, you will never set foot there. Of course... I could fly you there. But not while imprisoned like this.”

“No!” Halof shouted, who had been stock still, arrow trained at the dragon while Anaka talked to it. He was not about to let her go away with a dangerous dragon. “We can’t trust him, Ana!”

“I’m in an agreement here with my nephew,” Vorstag said.

When Anaka looked back, Vorstag knew she already made her decision. _Fuck!_

“Fine. I will set you free and then you must take me,” she said. 

“No! Ana, please!” Halof yelled out.

“Ana…” 

“ _Onikaan koraav gein miraad_. It is wise to recognize when you only have one choice. And you can trust me. _Zu'u ni tahrodiis_. Alduin has proven himself unworthy to rule. I go my own way now. Free me, and I will carry you to Skuldafn.”

Vorstag’s heart pounded in indecisive panic, unsure what to do as she nodded to each of the guards to release the dragon. Halof was yelling at her to get Anaka’s attention, but she ignored him, refusing to look at either of them. She was going to leave without them. _Shit!_

The mercenary ran, sheathing his sword on his back, reaching the dragon just in time as she hopped on its back. He jumped up and climbed on behind her. “You’re not fucking going anywhere without me!”

“Get off! Now!” she ordered.

“No! I made you a promise,”

Anaka looked back, tears in her eyes from anger and regret. “Lucinia needs you.”

“She will have me and you when we both return.”

“No! Ana, please. Wait for me. Let me come,” Halof pled, tears in his eyes.

“I’m sorry, Halof,” she said, crying, looking back as the dragon walked to the ledge.

Vorstag could see the boy fall to his knees, body shaking in sobs. He felt his nephew's pain, but it was for the best. He didn’t want him killed either, but he knew well enough that he would be right next to the boy had the mercenary not known what she was up to and reacted fast enough.

Hovering over the ledge, the great red dragon flapped his massive wings and lifted off.

“He will never forgive me, but it’s better than him being dead,” she yelled out.

“He’ll forgive you,” he reassured her, but the look on Halof’s face and knowing their relationship was barely hanging on, Vorstag wondered if he just lied to the girl.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading and commenting! <3


	28. Skuldafn and Beyond

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Anaka and Vorstag travel alone on a dragon to Skuldafn. Making their way through the temple proves more difficult than they would have liked, but they finally make it to Sovngarde to defeat Alduin. What will happen to Anaka when she absorbs Alduin's soul? Will she absorb his soul? Will she survive it when her world has already crumbled around her?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the last chapter of my Vorstag. I know he's not the most popular character in Skyrim, but I loved creating him and giving him life. He's been one of my favorites to write. I hope you enjoyed reading about him, Lucinia, Anaka, and Halof.
> 
> There is no epilogue this time because I plan to continue on their story. I have to. I love Vorstag and Lucinia too much.

Vorstag tried not to think about his roiling stomach or look down as they flew through the air. He wasn’t one to have issues with being up high, but this was something entirely different. The ground was dotted with tiny trees and houses as they rushed over the land. It wasn’t just flying up high. The massive dragon swerved and dived as Anaka and he hung on for dear life. All Odahviing had to do was turn steep enough and they would fall off of him, plummeting to their deaths. They had no choice but to trust the dragon to get them there in one piece. 

He wished he could pull his fur cloak in tighter, but if he let go, he would fall, so he suffered the freezing air that slammed at his face. 

The mercenary was familiar enough with the terrain of Skyrim, even up so high that they headed east, passing over Eastmarch. Where it would have taken them days to travel by horseback through the country, being on the dragon took only a few hours. As they flew over the mountains, Vorstag saw a massive and ancient temple looming in the distance. As long as he lived in Skyrim, he never heard of Skuldafn Temple or even knew anything man-made existed in these mountains. What sort of motivation, or desperation, forced men to build such a thing there?

The temple grew larger and larger as they flew closer. It was massive, and Vorstag realized it would take a while for them to find their way around. He was certain there would be trouble lurking around every corner. While he was glad Lucinia wouldn’t have to face the danger, they would need her healing. It was the reason his pack was heavy with potions, trying not to think about either Anaka or him dying. When they planned to capture a dragon, Vorstag wanted to be ready for anything.

The red dragon landed, its body shuddering with the impact as it traveled through Vorstag’s spine, knowing Anaka felt the same, hearing her grunt.

Both of them jumped off on wobbly legs, trying to get their bearings, looking around, already preparing for a fight.

“This is as far as I can take you. _Krif voth ahkrin_. I will look for your return... or Alduin’s.”

“Can you not help?” Anaka asked.

“Your battle with Alduin determines my loyalty,” the dragon said, flying off.

Vorstag wanted to yell at the dragon that he already betrayed Alduin by bringing them there, but the creature was long gone.

“Let’s figure out where to go,” he said, realizing Anaka already walked off and ran after her.

“Ana, wait. We need to talk about how to handle this and what to expect.”

The girl stopped, facing him. Her face was taut and pale, her blue eyes cold. Vorstag wasn’t sure if it was from the torturous ride through Skyrim or what lay before them—perhaps both.

“We’ve been through enough ruins to know what to expect, Vorstag,” she said, walking away again.

Vorstag pulled her arm to bring her back. “Can we not be in such a rush to die? I would like us to see Lucinia and Halof again.” It hit him that perhaps she was being so reckless was because she didn’t care if she lived or died. He was in familiar territory. Vorstag wasn’t unlike Anaka when his sister died. Thoughts of dying also crossed his mind. They were going to fail if she didn’t change her way of thinking.

“Let me go,” she demanded, trying to pull away.

“Not until you stop and listen.”

“You followed me! I didn’t say you could come!”

“I’m here now. Please, Ana.”

“Fine…”

Vorstag let go of her arm. “Anaka is this about your family? I know you are in pain and what it’s like…”

“You know nothing of what it is…”

“I understand everything! I lost my mother, father, and sister. I know fucking pain, Ana. I am quite familiar with yours. This isn’t like you to go rushing into danger. You are going to get us both killed and I for one would like to see my first child born if it’s all the same to you. I also want you to live. I have grown fond of you. I love you. Why do you think I am risking my life and seeing my family ever again? Maybe you don’t care about me, but...”

Anaka refused to look at him, anger in her eyes, but the tears swelled and her lip quivered. He was reaching her. “I love you too,” she said. “I don’t want to see you die. I wanted to leave you behind. You aren’t supposed to be here.”

“I’m not leaving your side until my dying breath. Now let’s go in smart and slow. Please, Ana.”

She looked up at him and nodded, brushing away a few stray tears that fell. 

“I don’t doubt there will be draugr or worse. The sense of foreboding is strong here, more so compared to the other ruins we explored. This is Alduin’s domain, so I think we can expect dragons who will try to protect their leader.”

No sooner did Vorstag finish his lecture that a dragon landed on the cliff above their heads. The creature clawed its way down the steep slope towards them. Vorstag already had his sword ready and Anaka cast a spell, drawing her own sword.

At least the thing wasn’t flying. _Small victories_. Anaka blasted the creature with a fire shout, singing its scales as it screamed out. When the fires died out, Vorstag wasted no time attacking, rushing at it. Anaka distracted the beast as he sliced through the tender tendons of its feet. It howled, jumping back, forcing Vorstag to rush at it again. Its attention now focused on Vorstag as it snapped at it, and once it exposed its throat, Anaka drew her blade against its flesh. Blood pooled out of the wound, weakening the creature as it stumbled on torn feet. Vorstag attacked the other two feet, not knowing what Anaka was doing. The dragon fell to the ground, desperate, snapping and swishing its tail to keep them both at bay, but Vorstag thrust his sword through the creature’s throat, killing it.

They took a moment for Anaka to adapt to the new soul she absorbed, holding back the bile. For every soul she consumed, the colder and angrier she got. This would be no different. 

“Are you okay?” he asked, knowing she wasn’t, but he wanted her to assess things—to stay with him.

“Let’s go,” she said, ignoring his question.

Though her pestering annoyed Vorstag in those early days they traveled together, he missed her barrage of questions, her light. Despite her dark visions, she remained happy and full of life. Perhaps because it didn’t feel real until they happened. Once reality set in, the dark souls she absorbed and losing her family, it was a wonder the girl was holding herself together at all. But she was probably never going to recover fully when it was over if they lived through it.

They meandered through with caution when Vorstag yanked Anaka back again, pointing. Draugr littered the surrounding ramparts. “Let’s try to sneak through,” he whispered.

She nodded as they both crept in silence. 

They sat at the top on the ancient stone steps in front of a massive iron door leading into the ruins. The courtyard was littered with dead draugr—well, dead again, anyway. Vorstag pulled out some bandages, wrapping them around Anaka’s arm that a draugr sliced with its sword, handing her a healing potion. 

It was his turn next. The mercenary took the brunt of the damage. Anaka was resistant to shouts being the Dragonborn, but Vorstag didn’t fare so well. Most of the draugr could shout like Anaka, and his body flung away too many times against stone walls, away from the battle. His entire body ached. He touched his ribs, wincing. Yes, he broke a couple. As he wiped the blood from his mouth, he chugged down two healing potions. The extra potion helped heal him faster. Vorstag wanted to take more, but they had to conserve. Who knew what else lurked in the depths further in the ruins, not to mention finally battling it out with Alduin.

He pulled out his waterskin, taking a deep gulp while Anaka drank from hers. So far, the battle in the temple's courtyard was a disaster. After defeating all the draugr, thanks, in part, to Anaka, who used her stagger and ice form, they faced down another dragon. Vorstag worried about what lay ahead. If it was this difficult to reach Alduin, he didn’t want to think how hard it would be to fight the bastard. The mercenary tried to force thoughts of his impending death out of his mind, though he wasn’t successful. No time in his life had he wanted to live this much. He finally had something to live for—Lucinia and their unborn child.

Anaka was the one protecting him more than the other way around. It was humbling.

“I’m glad you’re here,” she said, her voice hoarse from the Shouts, and tired, looking out at the littered temple filled with the dead. “I don’t think I would have survived this if I was alone. It’s a good thing you are more stubborn than I am.” Anaka chuckled, but there was no humor in it.

Vorstag wrapped an arm around her shoulder and pulled her into a gentle hug. “We are in this together, Ana.”

For reasons unknown, her hands rushed to her face as she cried, her body racked with sobs. Her carefully stoney exterior came crumbling down. “I… I want to go home. I don’t want to be here! I want my mom and my dad and... I fucking hate this!”

The mercenary teared up, listening to her pain. He understood it all too well. He ached for her and wished he was able to take all her suffering away. His arms wrapped about her as she sobbed into him, kissing the top of her head. “I know. I wish things were different too, honey. You are the bravest person I know, and you’re still only a girl—a girl forced to grow up too fast. I would give anything to see that bright smile of yours again.”

“It hurts so much. I ache as much on the inside as I do on the outside.”

“We are going to get through this together, Ana. We will defeat Alduin and then we are going to go home and live happy lives, never having to face any danger again.” He wanted to make it a promise to her, but that would be a lie. She was too broken to go back to the way things were. He hoped the encouragement was enough.

After they had a bite to eat to replenish their energy and rested for a while, they readied themselves for what was inside the temple. 

“I’m beat, Ana. I think our best course of action should be stealth and using our bows. It will be good to conserve our energy too. We tried to do that when we got here, but there were too many of them up high. We were easy to spot. Inside ruins, there are plenty of places to hide, and it will be dark.”

She nodded, pulling out the bow he got her for her first birthday after moving to Whiterun. It seemed so long ago now—a distant memory.

Of course, draugr littered the temple, but plucking them off one by one helped, only having to face a couple head-on. They reached a large room with the ever-familiar puzzle doors. Three pillars with animal carvings were the lock to the gate up ahead. They moved them in the right sequence was the key.

“If Halof was here, he could figure this out in no time,” Anaka said, wistful. “But I’m glad he’s not.”

“That we can agree on.”

Vorstag and Anaka were both bleeding, exhausted, and in pain when they reached the end of the temple. It took two hours to plow through all the draugr, puzzle rooms, and a puzzle door. Anaka learned a new word from the Word Wall. She said she could summon a storm.

His muscles screamed in fire from their achy tiredness and he knew Anaka fared no better. They had no choice but to camp for a few hours to take a nap. Neither had any idea of what to expect once they reached outside. It wasn’t easy to sleep on the stone ground, tossing and turning, but they managed to get some rest. Vorstag’s eyes burned with a need for sleep, not getting nearly enough, but they couldn’t sleep any longer deciding to push on after downing a couple of stamina potions. He saved them for when they needed the extra energy.

The warmth spread through his body, feeling a surge of strength and vigor. It was a good thing as they faced off with more draugr. No, they couldn’t be simple draugr, but Death Lords with their shouts. Vorstag spent more time dodging the shouts than doing any damage. 

Anaka tried her new shout, having extra dragon souls. Outside of the Temple, a storm built up out of nowhere. The skies darkened with clouds and the rain came pouring down. Lightning strikes hit with precise attacks, landing on the draugr, staggering them enough so Anaka and he were able to kill them.

“Nice trick,” he said.

They ran up the steep steps towards a power source of energy or light burst through the ground before them. It looked to be some sort of portal. Perhaps it was the one that led to Sovngarde. Of course, it couldn’t be that easy when a Dragon Priest rose, floating and flinging lightning at them. One spell hit Vorstag, burning his flesh from the inside out, his body coursing with electricity. He fell to the ground when it wore off, panting on his hands and knees. _Get up, mercenary!_ He staggered up, only to find Anaka had killed the creature already. 

Vorstag was exhausted. It was too much for just the two of them. Anaka looked tired too, but she held herself together better than he did. Perhaps it was her youth that seemed to give her an abundance of energy, or her drive to move on with her life. 

He stumbled up the steps, downing another health potion. Only two left. He hated using them up, but Vorstag knew this was the end of the line. The portal was going to take them to Sovngarde, where Alduin fed on the souls of the dead according to Paarthurnax. The coward fled there in anger and humiliation at his defeat at the Throat of the World. He came to lick his wounds and feed on souls, forcing Anaka to follow. Now they were on his turf and it was kicking their asses. Well, Vorstag’s ass anyway.

The very idea they had to jump into the portal and end up in the very place he wanted to be when he died, among the greatest of warriors, left him thrilled yet terrified. 

Without a second thought, Anaka jumped straight into the portal before he could stop her. He cursed and followed right behind. 

Vorstag landed on the ground with a soft thud, looking around. Anaka stood there as if unsure where to go or what to do now that they were in Sovngarde, or so he thought. It wasn’t what he expected. He expected it to be bright and filled with dead warriors, or anything other than the darkness and dense fog. They weren’t able to see but a few feet in front of them, but they knew they were in the right place, hearing Alduin’s angry song of roars in the distance.

With little choice, they followed the roars down a dirt path. Periodically, Anaka would use a shout to clear the fog away. They sometimes found a wary warrior, a lost soul, looking afraid and unable to move. This was Alduin’s doing. He turned Sovngarde into a realm of Oblivion. It was supposed to be beautiful and a place of glory, not death and dread.

They reached near a bridge made from the bones of dragons and in the distance was a beautiful temple or building. It must have been the Hall of Valor. It was massive and once the fog cleared away; the sky lit up in hues of pinks, purples, and reds. This was what Vorstag thought Sovngarde should look like. 

“Shor’s tits… now this is what I’m talking about!” Vorstag said in awe.

Anaka remained silent, and he wondered if it was hard for her to enjoy the moment. _Of course, it is. What a stupid thought._

After being allowed to pass the bridge, they entered the hall, greeted with warmth, light, food, and warriors of old—legends. Vorstag was dumbstruck with envy and hero worship. The old kings and warriors chatted and told tales, sung songs, drank, and ate. It was a feast for the afterlife. This was where Vorstag wanted to be when he died, without Alduin. 

Anaka rushed off towards three warriors in the distance. Once he reached her, he recognized them from when they opened the Scroll, gazing into the past. These were the warriors who defeated Alduin the first time. The girl talked them into fighting once more, to finally put an end to the dragon once and for all. At least they had help. They stood a better chance with five of them instead of just Anaka and him.

The warriors ran off, forcing him and Anaka to follow. This was the moment of truth. No rest for the wary. The fog that filled most of Sovngarde, encroached on them, hearing the dragon flying around in the distance. Alduin was close. 

Anaka wasted no time, using her shout to clear away the dense fog. The other warriors followed suit until the fog completely retreated. They all looked up to the beautiful and colorful sky, seeing Alduin fly overhead. His roars were angry. He tried to create more fog, but Anaka and the others kept clearing it away, forcing the dragon to attack as he blasted them with fire. 

The girl used her Dragonrend shout once he was close enough, forcing him to the ground. Alduin was angry, struggling to fly off, but the hold on him was too powerful. It was now or never. Vorstag pulled up every reserve of energy he had and used his bow from a distance to weaken the creature. It was bouncing around too much for him to waste his time and energy chasing it. The mercenary also remembered the last battle. The creature could summon fiery meteors from the sky. They had to be careful.

Anaka was fury with her shouts of fire, ice, moving fast around the creature, stabbing it. He watched her from a distance in wonder. He knew he would see the day where she summoned all her power and become a force to be reckoned with. It was amazing to watch, and he wished he could watch longer. But they had a dragon to kill—no, a god dragon.

Out of arrows, Vorstag had no choice but to face the beast head-on. Alduin was being attacked on all sides, but one of the warriors was dead if the dead could even die. The dragon gobbled up the dead warrior’s soul, bouncing away from the onslaught of attacks. He must have felt cornered and released his power of fire and stones as they came barreling down at them. Their best bet was to stay close to Alduin, attacking to keep from being smashed.

Vorstag’s muscles burned like fire, his heart pounded in his chest from an entire day of fighting. He pushed on, hoping for his second wind—more like a fourth wind, using up the second and third a long time ago. Pushing aside his exhaustion and pain, because he had little choice, he fought on, swinging, slicing, hacking at the hard scales, drawing blood a few times.

When Alduin tried to fly off, Anaka was always ready with her Dragonrend to keep the creature on the ground. He was getting tired—they all were, but the dragon’s weakening pushed them to fight harder, filled with a sliver of hope. The other two warriors died, leaving just Anaka and him, but Alduin was losing as he staggered, bleeding everywhere. He tried to summon more meteors, but had no energy left, though he had enough to blow fire at them. Vorstag rolled away, the fire singing his armor. 

His lungs burned, panting, as he scanned for a second to find Anaka. She was bleeding. One arm hung limply, looking like it got burned. She couldn’t hold a sword, but she could cast spells and use her shouts. Vorstag paid for his distraction as Alduin grabbed him in tight jaws, large teeth piercing through his leather. He heard Anaka scream as he yelled, feeling bones break. _This is it. This is where I die._

Before Alduin could kill Vorstag, the dragon spat him out, flinging his broken body to the ground. Anaka took the dragon’s distraction as an opportunity to attack. The mercenary struggled to watch, but he was bleeding out. He yanked off his pack, digging out the last two potions. No—one is for Anaka. He yanked the cork off with teeth, spitting it out, and downed one. It wasn’t enough to sew bone back together, but at least he stopped bleeding.

Vorstag struggled to stand, wincing in pain as his ribs screamed, barely able to lift his greatsword. When he looked up, Anaka was also in Alduin’s mouth. _NO!_ He tried to run, but he stumbled and fell. The tears spilled with fear for the girl, unable to get to her fast enough. With her burned and bleeding arm, blood dripping down her armor as teeth penetrated her flesh, she stabbed the dragon through his snout. When he dropped her, he fell, trying to get the dagger out of his nose. 

Anaka, no, the Dragonborn, found her sword on the ground and limped to Alduin. With both hands, the sword plunged into his skull. She collapsed to the ground in a heap, unmoving as the light and soul, the last, swirled around her.

Vorstag crawled on hands and knees, trying to reach her. It was too slow. He needed to get to her and give her the last healing potion. The fear gripped him that she was already dead. The only thing giving him hope that she was still alive was the soul entering hers. If she were dead, nothing would have happened. Then there was the screaming, filled with terror and pain coming from her. It was unlike anything he ever heard from Anaka. Aludin burst into flame and became nothingness.

He reached for her, pulling her to his arms. Her body felt broken, and she looked so small. Vorstag pulled her close on his lap, cradling her. His eyes blurred, realizing he was crying. She looked at him, not with eyes of fear, but one of finality. “No! Please, Ana,” he whimpered, not recognizing his own strained voice, hoarse from exhaustion and grief. 

Vorstag tried to pour the potion down her throat, but she turned her head away, refusing to take it. His lip quivered as he held her, pleading with her to stay alive, not knowing what else to do. 

Anaka reached up to him, touching his face with gentle fingers. “I am forever... grateful to you... Vorstag. If I could have a... second father, it was you. Thank you... for everything.”

“No, please, Ana,” he said again. “Please hang in there. We will get you healed so you can come home with me to Lucinia and Halof. Please take the potion.”

Her hand dropped as she shook her head. “It’s… too late. Even… even if Alduin didn’t… crush me, his soul… did. I... I have to go.”

“No,” he cried out, holding her tight against him. He knew she died as her body grew heavy in his arms. His body racked with sobs as he held her, his face buried in her neck, feeling like a failure. After everything she went through and she died, anyway. The mercenary felt tender hands on his back, but he didn’t look up to see who it was.

Vorstag held her away from him as her body grew with heat. Looking down at her in shock as the light poured out of her, wondering if her soul was entering Sovngarde. It was as if her body was yanked from his, floating in the air, body limp, dead. The mercenary didn’t understand as he watched light leave from her in a torrent of golden ribbons all floating away from her body into the unknown.

“Dragon souls,” someone said behind him.

“When the Dragonborn dies, the souls they consume leave their body. One cannot hold a soul in death,” someone else explained.

At least she didn’t die with those vile souls still in her.

Vorstag felt defeated, even though they killed Alduin and saved the world. It wouldn’t be the same world without Anaka in it. Every wish to see her bright smile and happiness vanished with her death. He sat there, slumped, crying, not caring who saw. The mercenary was a broken man. The only thing keeping him going was Lucinia and their future child. 

He stood up, limping over to her body on the ground, so pale through all the blood and dirt covering her. The pain in his body protested as he lifted her to his arms and carried her to the Hall of Valor. Warriors tried to help, but he wouldn’t let anyone touch her. He carried her one painful step at a time. When he entered, he hoped to see Anaka’s soul there, but she was nowhere to be found. He looked around in panic and anger. 

“Where is she?! Surely she fucking deserves to be here after all that!” he yelled, sobbing renewed. “Fuck you, Shor! How is she not here?”

The warrior souls were all quiet, watching, sympathy on their faces. _Fuck their sympathy!_

Vorstag grew bitter. His lack of faith in the gods renewed as he laid her gently on a table that wasn’t filled with food. He sat down, holding her hand, not knowing what else to do. How was he going to get back and bring her body back for burial? Were they stuck there?

His head rested on her hand as he held it. It was still warm, and he struggled to believe she died. Another person he loved died because he wasn’t enough. First his sister, now Anaka. The tears continued to flow, but he jolted when he felt fingers twitch. Or did he? But he felt it again. Then came the soft moan from the girl. Vorstag sat up, watching, waiting, unsure if he believed what he heard and felt. Then her head moved side to side. _Could it be?_

Vorstag placed a bloodied hand on her face, turning her face to him as he watched in shock as her eyes fluttered open. “Ana?” he croaked, more emotion coursing through him.

As she stirred, she was alight and glowing again. The mercenary watched in shock as her wounds vanished, the blood receding not just from her flesh, but her clothes as if she was never hurt. Her groaning grew, then settled down once the light faded. Anaka turned to face Vorstag, her hand reaching out to touch his face, wiping away his tears, her eyes full of sympathy and love.

“It’s going to be okay now, my friend, my protector,” she whispered.

“Are… are you dead? Is… are you Anaka’s soul?”

“I… I don’t think so.”

A hand clapped on Vorstag’s shoulder, looking up to see Ysgramor himself. “She’s alive and well. It seems she has Shor’s favor. He has given her another chance. There was no way for the girl to live with all those dragon souls in her. She’s been cleansed and lives.”

_Can it be true? She’s alive?_

“Does… does this mean she’s not the Dragonborn anymore?”

“She is still the Dragonborn and she can still absorb souls. That doesn’t change. But she would never have survived with Alduin’s soul. Although Alduin is a god. One cannot truly kill a god.”

Vorstag stopped listening at that point. The girl was alive.

Anaka sat up and climbed off the table. Her body was steady and strong as if never suffering at the hands of Alduin. Vorstag yanked her to him, holding her on his lap as he cried once more into her. _She is alive_ , he repeated in his head. His sense of hope renewed—hope for the future, hers and his, especially hers. The tears represented years of internal pain from the loss of his sister, years wasted with his brother, time spent angry, reclusive, and careless. The tears brought him home to where he needed to be deep down inside.

“It’s going to be okay,” she said again.

Vorstag and Lucinia walked hand in hand through Whiterun, with Anaka walking behind them as they headed to his brother’s house. Lucinia wasn’t showing yet, still too early in her pregnancy, but he couldn’t help but touch her tummy as if he could sense the baby there.

Anaka and he returned home a few days prior, whisked away by magic thanks to the warriors of Sovngarde after they healed him. He told Lucinia everything that happened. She cried and held him while he told his story, leaving nothing out. It was painful to tell it, reliving the loss of Anaka again. He had to remind himself several times she was alive, seeking her out at home or checking on her while she slept, seeing if she still breathed. 

The day came when she got the guts to face Halof. They all agreed that they would do their best to bring them together again, but prepared Anaka that the boy may not forgive her. She had to face that possibility, preparing for it.

The very idea made her moody. Despite that, the girl was full of life and light again, not having those heavy and vile souls weighing her down. She was quick to smile and laugh.

Once they reached Jolf and Gretga’s property, Bear, Anaka’s dog, came barreling towards them, jumping on her. He was such a large dog, almost as tall as Anaka while on his hind legs, licking her in the face. 

“It’s good to see you too, Bear,” she giggled to his sloppy kisses, but her laugh died on her lips when she looked up to see Halof coming out of the house alone, angry, hurt. The boy was as Vorstag expected him to be.

Anaka put Bear down and walked toward Halof, her face plastered with guilt, and stood in front of him. The boy refused to look at her despite choosing to confront her. 

“I’m sorry I left you behind, Halof.”

His nephew’s arms were crossed, looking down at the ground, kicking dirt with his boot. “It hurt, Ana. After everything we have been through, you still left me behind.”

“I know I did, and I would do it again. I’m sorry, but if I have any regrets in my life, that isn’t one of them. I tried to leave Vorstag behind too, but he was… faster to react. It was brutal, Halof.”

He refused to look at her, not appeased by her words. Vorstag worried the boy wouldn’t forgive her, and that would hurt Anaka. 

“I did it because I love you. Can’t you understand that?” Anaka tried to be strong, but she couldn’t control the quivering in her voice. “If you came with us, you would be dead, Halof. I… I did die. I’m only alive thanks to Shor’s good graces.”

Halof looked at her, eyes wide in anger, surprise, hurt, shock, which turned to worry and fear. “You… you died?”

Anaka nodded, unable to control the tears. “Alduin broke my body. I couldn’t handle all the dragon souls. Alduin killed my body and my soul. At least he’s defeated. Vorstag almost died too.”

Everyone must have been holding their collective breaths as they released the air from their lungs when Halof pulled Anaka into a hug, his hands fisting the back of her tunic, face buried in her neck. “I… I’m glad you are alive. I... I love you too and I don’t know what I would do without you, even in all my anger.”

“Do you forgive me?”

“Give me time, but trust me when I tell you, I’m not letting you go again.”

“Promise?”

“I promise.”

Anaka looked up from her embrace with Halof to see a young man and a little girl emerge from the house. Tears pooled out her eyes as she ran to them. All three hugged as they all wept, but the young man tried to hold them back. 

Vorstag knew Erald and Berdi were at his brother’s house. They were a surprise for Anaka. The mercenary was glad the young man took his words to heart and forgave Anaka, deciding to live in Whiterun together. Erald was going to work to buy a house for his two sisters to live in so they could all be together. This way Anaka wouldn’t feel the need to leave anyone behind to be with her remaining family.

“I’m sorry, Ana,” Erald said, holding her tight.

“Shh, you and Berdi are here, and we are together again. That’s all that matters.”

_Three years later._

While Vorstag enjoyed the adventure of being a mercenary, he missed his daughter, Else, and Lucinia when he was away. The little girl was cursed with his wife’s curly and unruly hair, but it was bright red. She looked ridiculous and adorable at the same time. At least she had her mother’s bright disposition and not his broody one.

Anaka, Halof, and Vorstag approached the foreboding town of Falkreath. The Jarl needed help to clear out an onslaught of bandits that were taking over the territory in response to the Civil War that continued to plague the country. 

Before they reached the town, two masked people approached wearing gold and brown mage robes. Their face masks were gold, creepy. Pointing at Anaka, they attacked, no questions asked. They were no match for the Dragonborn. While she no longer kept the souls, she still had the power, having already learned all she needed. 

“What in Oblivion was that?” Vorstag asked, bending down to one of them, riffling through the robes. He pulled out a letter opening it. He read the contents, handing it to Anaka who looked it over with Halof.

“Board the vessel Northern Maiden docked at Raven Rock. Take it to Windhelm, then begin your search. Kill the False Dragonborn named Anaka before she reaches Solstheim. Return with word of your success, and Miraak shall be most pleased,” Anaka read out loud. 

“I guess we better find out what all this is about,” the mercenary said.

To Be Continued...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There was not intimate scene between Lucinia and Vorstag at the end. I usually like to tack a bit of that at the end of my stories, but the last chapter had already grown too long. BUT, I did write one. If you would like to read their last intimate scene after Vorstag fights Alduin with Anaka, you can read it here: [Coming Home](https://archiveofourown.org/works/25890370/chapters/65428750)
> 
> Thank you so much for reading!


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